marieToo
Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Hardspanker44
I have noticed an unsual protocol in the lifestyle. Here is the usual scenario, there is a very sexy picture in the profile and a notice they want to have friends but they are currently owned by a Dom and they are happy and dont want to be castled for it. Sound reasonable? It is to a point, but I am wondering, does it really meet the test of authenticity. When does a Dom become the conflict resolution secretary for a Subbie who broadcasts her affiliations and couples that with a sexy picture; inviting as she does attention from men. There is the underpinning that she doesnt want to have friends who are attracted to her sexy picture; and that her Dom can then act some crazy scenario of dominance and protection. Probably it would be better for the Dom to have her take the picture down, and simply let her answer whatever. Afterall, There is no such thing as complete absolute slaves or submissives. It is against the law and nobody has the right to determine what you read or do with your life. A slave should come from the perspective of healthy mental attitude, maturity, and a genuine dedication. It should not be alot of drama and controlling by the Dom. A Master does not control by giving alot of rules and restrictions; a Good Master rules by nature of who he is and what he stands for. Often times the slave is learning about life or simply wants to have another in charge. Either way, one has to be careful about doing things that are healthy. And loud caveats and billboard size signs about your DOM are so much BS and reflects a very caddy approach. The best way to announce such a relationship is simply say it as it is. A More conservative picture is good. I have written scores of emails to people onthis chat without the least idea about a relationship beyond a chat once in a while. Afterall I cannot presume that one could really have a relationship with someone who is so ruled bound. lol In my humble opinion.
In reading your post, I see several points that Im interpreting. Firstly, Im not sure its necessarily "protocol" to have a particular type of profile--it could be just someone's personal taste or choice or what they see as sexy, classy or whatever other characteristic they choose to display. I have certain turn offs when I see certain photos or read certain profiles, but I guess the entire world isnt interested in what you or I, or Joe Blow think about their photo or profile. They are interested more in presenting what they chose to present, because afterall, who could please everyone's taste, even if they wanted to?
Secondly as far as authenticity. Unless you get to know someone, either in chat, in person or read their stuff on the boards, its kind of hard to know if they are authentic or not. It's kind of like seeing a can with a label on it and the label says Carrots, but you dont know if there is really string beans inside. There are people out here in cyberland who will completely fabricate a persona, claim to be owned, talk like they belong to someone and actually never have had a day of rt experience in their lives.
Thirdly there are some people who like to validate their relationship or show it off so to speak. So maybe that can be the case in some of the profiles where you see the Doms allowing or desiring that their sub post a sexy photo while having his name written on her forehead (I am speaking figuratively), but what Im saying its a form of "look at me...look at whom Im with, or look at who owns me, or look at who I own". It's not much different than some people would view the announcement of an engagement, say, or call a friend and say "Im dating so and so". Except that its in a profile.
As far as the drama, the rules and all the other things you state should or shouldnt be a part of a relationship...well...you're not right or wrong. It can be whatever works for that couple or trio or whathaveyou. The "rulebound" thing...eh...some get off on it, others need it...others reject it yet. It takes all kinds....I think the important thing is that you surround yourself with those who suit you, those you like, those whose beliefs align with yours etc. The stuff you dont like or respect...can be weeded out, with little or no effort by simply skipping over their profiles etc. It takes all kinds...and it's a big can with alotta mixed nuts....pick out what you like...
_____________________________
marie.
I give good agita.
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