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RE: Dom lessons? - 11/11/2006 5:36:39 AM

shaylaSC

Posts: 37
Joined: 10/23/2006
Status: offline

MrMann,

You will learn alot from partners. Find local BDSM events and attend, watching and learning at the beginning. Find those there that seem to be showing others and ask to be shown yourself.

The most important thing, imo, is that you always communicate that you are new to any partners you are spending time with. Don't do anything to another until you are sure you can do so safely.

Welcome to WIITWD.

_____________________________

leave the drama out of it huhhhhhhh

(in reply to mrmann825)

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Post #: 21

RE: Dom lessons? - 11/11/2006 8:42:49 AM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Masterchanger2

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Is there a reason you wouldnt be open to a Slave or sub teaching you. It is possable they have something to teach aspecially if you are new!!!!

Why is it some people think Doms can teach subs how to be subs but that subs cant teachs Doms how to be Doms??? it works both ways

Magik's insulted slave

That sounds like a good idea, but how would a new Dom go about finding such a slave willing to teach a new Dom?

Same way a new sub finds a Dom to teach them!!!

Here is a pretty good place to find that kinda help and lets not overlook the real world and real life community!!

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Masterchanger2)

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Post #: 22

RE: Dom lessons? - 11/12/2006 3:53:47 PM

MrThorns

Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Why is it some people think Doms can teach subs how to be subs but that subs cant teachs Doms how to be Doms??? it works both ways

Magik's insulted slave

Because a submissive or slave doesn't know what it is to be dominant, just as a dominant doesn't know what it is to be submissive or slave. A dominant doesn't teach a submissive how to be submissive. The dominant teaches the submissive how to be submissive to him.

Now don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things I have learned from slaves. I wouldn't seek one out to be my Mentor, however.

~Thorns

_____________________________

~"Do you know what the chain of command is? Its the chain I beat ya with when ya don't follow my command."

"My inner child is a mean little fucker"

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

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Post #: 23

RE: Dom lessons? - 1/3/2007 1:55:57 PM

solia

Posts: 115
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline

Well, it's taken me a bit to figure out how to get back to this ....

Thank you to all the great input!! I live in a community that does not have a munch group and two, maybe three adult stores with limited toy choices. Spencer's has more whips than the adult stores!! Our adult stores are of the video/private wank booth variety. Once upon a time there was a Gorean munch group but it moved months ago to the eastern side of the state.

As far as finding a sub or slave to learn with, I am open to that but if I can't find another dominant in this town how do I find a sub? The kind of stuff that I'd like to practice is bondage with feedback as to whether too tight/too loose/over a pressure point/pinching things; the whipping arts (which someone suggested using a pillow/couch/chair); needle/knife play.

Thanks to the few of you who invited me to PM .. once I figure that out, I will do so.

Happy New Year to all!

(in reply to MrThorns)

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Post #: 24

RE: Dom lessons? - 1/3/2007 4:17:11 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Ok.. I just HAVE to ask!

Is your screen name taken from The Blues Brothers?

There's a scene in which Jake and Elwood are looking for the members of their band so they can get back together. They stop off at a boarding house and the woman there tells them that she hasn't taken in borders in quite a while. As Jake and Elwood begin to drive away, the woman rushes out of the house calling "Oh MrMann MrMann!!!" with the card of some of the members who are now playing down at the Holiday Inn.

Just curious...

juliet

(in reply to MaamJay)

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Post #: 25

RE: Dom lessons? - 1/3/2007 4:45:05 PM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: darksdesire

communication is number one i think. imo, a Dom needs to take the leadership role in fostering the tightest communication possible. What i mean by that is making it possible to discuss everything and anything, no matter how sensitive or difficult or silly or painful. If as a Dom, you can create an envirnoment of emotional safety that facilitates that sort of communication, you're off to a great start. Of course you'll need a cooperative sub who follows your lead, but that shouldn't be too difficult. Anyway, i see that as the most important skill, but that's from a submissive's viewpoint.

Not to hijack the thread but just as an aside...and going off from the communication thread the other day...I agree that communication is key. I also agree that it is important that the dominant foster an environment where communication is easy. I also have to be fair and give warning that sometimes, no matter how safe and easy the dominant has made the environment, the submissive may still choose not to communicate her thoughts and feelings for reasons of her own that have nothing to do with the dominant or the environment. The dominant has to be careful to be able to critically ask himself "Have I set up the proper atmosphere for communication?" If the answer is "Yes" and she still is not...the problem is not the dominant's.

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Post #: 26

RE: Dom lessons? - 1/3/2007 4:49:20 PM

TypeAsub1

Posts: 65
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline

Study books that aren't focused on S&M or kink. You know things like http://www.amazon.com/Behavior-Modification-What-How-8th/dp/0131942271/sr=8-1/qid=1167871598/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-6453403-6300926?ie=UTF8&s=books

or: http://www.amazon.com/Definitive-Book-Body-Language/dp/0553804723/sr=1-1/qid=1167871631/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-6453403-6300926?ie=UTF8&s=books

or http://www.amazon.com/Type-Talk-Personality-Types-Determine/dp/0440507049/sr=1-8/qid=1167871724/ref=sr_1_8/102-6453403-6300926?ie=UTF8&s=books

If you wouldn't drive a car without knowing the basics, understanding signs, rules of the road etc... Apply the same standard to your dominance.

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Post #: 27