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How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 12:41:27 PM

fkinebil

Posts: 3
Status: offline

Well... hi. As you can see im new to the forum (first post) and I was looking for a bit of advice.

I have had my account for awhile now on collarme.com but yet I dont seem to have found anyone that is interested in me. I dont get any mails from other members, but to be fair, I dont send out many mails because for most I fear there is no point.

I consider myself a switch in real life, but when it comes to searching online I am always searching for Female Dominants as I am only 19 and dont think I would get accepted into a Master role... Unless it was someone around my age. But while I search through the Dommes I am put off by the 'tough' typing that is put in most of their profiles that I find.

Really I was wondering how do I get myself noticed on here?

My profile doesnt contain my picture as, to tell the truth, I am scared of someone that knows me stumbling upon the site and maybe finding my profile. I dont make it public I am into BDSM because I fear to be judged by my friends if they were to find out. Ofcourse this limits my chances of actually finding anyone to practice BDSM in normal life which is why I turn to the internet.

Do most people search for profiles with pictures? Should I include one so maybe I will get some mails? Is there something on my profile this is off putting and would make people not want to mail me?

Any help on this would be great, thanks.

[edit]: Oh yea, I forgot to mention... I do say on my profile if someone wants a picture of me all they have to do is ask... But still I get no mails.

< Message edited by fkinebil -- 11/7/2006 12:43:57 PM >

Post #: 1

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 12:45:06 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Well, you sure aren't looking to be found and 2 months is not a search, but perhaps you go to ask a misstress, read a little and strike up a conversation or two.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to fkinebil)

Post #: 2

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 12:46:52 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

A picture most definitely helps.

Contacting other people is going to do you more good than not contacting anyone. But if you mass contact people, you're probably not going to get much success.

Your profile needs more information, at least in my opinion.

I'm sure those you are trying to attract can probably give much more detailed information, but that's what I've noticed just on the surface.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to fkinebil)

Post #: 3

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 12:55:51 PM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

Fill out your profile more completely. Think of it as a resume, both in your history and your desires, more then an opening line in a bar. Not having a picture is OK but most women do not make first contact so you might want to put your effort into sending out initial messages and attach a photo.

Be patient, be honest and be positive. Your age will eliminate you from many who are looking for something long-term but might help you otherwise. Try looking for your local community and see if that is to your liking.

Welcome to this life and I wish you well.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 4

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 12:58:35 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Ask yourself- what makes me notice people in a positive and memorable way? And then try and emulate that through the perspective of who you are.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to fkinebil)

Post #: 5

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 1:03:18 PM

Rule

Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline

Your profile does need a picture. I do not have one myself, because I am not looking - besides, I always look like a corpse on photographs. If you are looking, you do need a picture.

You may also consider adding some opinions or otherwise something personal to your profile. At the moment you have an emphasis on sexual contact, but there is more to a relationship than that.

Dommes usually do not go looking for subs. If you are looking for a domme, you need to approach her and show her that you are serious.

(in reply to fkinebil)

Post #: 6

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 1:04:26 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Do you know your e-mail works for sure? Half of my time here my e-mail has not worked. It comes and gos but it is far than reliable.
Also, there are few fem doms out there. Even fewer decent ones. It is hard to be a male sub seeking a female dom. You'd be better off seeking a male dom.
I'd also suggest as other's have...fill out your profile in it's entirety
It helps.

(in reply to fkinebil)

Post #: 7

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 1:07:23 PM

fkinebil

Posts: 3
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Well, you sure aren't looking to be found and 2 months is not a search

I did have an account prior to this one, think it was around a year ago... But then I left it for a month and forgot my username etc... and had since deleted the email address it was signed up to.

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

Try looking for your local community and see if that is to your liking.

I have been looking as close to home as possible as I would like to spend some time with whoever I get to know, but it seems most of the women far off what im looking for, or im not what they are looking for.

I did just do a small search there now and found a good profile... only to read at the end that she was looking for people between 25-35 :( :p

Thanks for all the (quick) responses so far though.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 8

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 2:59:30 PM

Mikal

Posts: 3673
Status: offline

I'm not familiar with Belfast, but is it possible for you to attend a munch somewhere in your area? Or a convention? This would be a great way to meet people & network.

As for pics... well, I'm not looking, but I put little store in pictures. They are too easily manipulated.... and your looks matter, but only to a point. If I can't have an intelligent conversation with you, or you're a doormat, then we will never have a relationship. But, that's just me.

I'd recommend posting in various threads (if someone sees a post of interests, they will look at the profile ~ at least, I do

) so people get to know you, continue searching for Dommes that interest you (and MAKE SURE YOU READ THEIR PROFILES. None will answer a generic/mass message). Be patient. You're 19. Relax and enjoy your life.

_____________________________

You know that I am a sexy penguin.

(in reply to fkinebil)

Post #: 9

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 3:03:45 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Let's put it this way, right now I visualise you sitting behind your computer as a stick-figure cartoon character with spikey hair....

That visualisation I have of you could change, if you posted and shared more of yourself and your ideals and interests. That visualisation could change depending on how you respond to different topics. Not that I really look into profiles all that much but that visualisation could change depending on the content of your profile.

To "be seen" you have to be "out there".

< Message edited by slavejali -- 11/7/2006 3:11:49 PM >

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

(in reply to Mikal)

Post #: 10

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 6:23:38 PM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

I don't see anything on your profile, no verbiage at all, so with no pic also, female dominants are not likely to contact you.

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 11

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 7:21:10 PM

hsagnev

Posts: 188
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline

This probably will not help you much if you can't afford it, but I have the same problem in attempting to establish contact with another person so what I did was to visit escorts and pro doms. Some people are against the idea in general, but to be honest if you visit the same person often it becomes a relationship none-the-less (albeit a professional one).

(in reply to kc692)

Post #: 12

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 7:48:20 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

As everyone has stated you will need to send the e-mail..Dommes are in a minority so the potential male sub will have to put himself forth.Make sure you read every profile of each Domme you write to, sometimes they have specific criteria that they wish to be followed.Then make it personal, but do not go straight to the sexual fantasies you seek treat them as you would any new acquaintance...respect goes a long way but also try to relax and show what kind of man is behind the letter..Spelling is also a plus ...so check before you hit send...last but not least...got out and meet someone in meatlife...munch...bdsm gathering of a sort...much much better way of getting yourself seen and to see....best wishes..Tempting

(in reply to hsagnev)

Post #: 13

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 7:50:11 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

I forgot..there is a group called the next generation, this entails people of the more younger set I believe..but you may want to ask Lucky Albatross of it..she is the lady with the answers!..

...Tempting

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 14

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 8:03:11 PM

jdtallfem

Posts: 180
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline

A picture, a totally filled out profile, and persistence helps a lot. Also when you write, tell the domme what it was in her profile that you read and liked. If she does write back and asks you questions, answer all of them, not just one question, ignoring the rest. And then persist for a meeting and perhaps even another meeting. You may be a sub, but if you're not a really interested one, you won't catch my interest.

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 15

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 8:04:35 PM

MstrssScarlet

Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fkinebil

But while I search through the Dommes I am put off by the 'tough' typing that is put in most of their profiles that I find.

What do you mean by 'tough' typing? That you think they're too demanding? I'm curious about this.

My profile doesnt contain my picture as, to tell the truth, I am scared of someone that knows me stumbling upon the site and maybe finding my profile. I dont make it public I am into BDSM because I fear to be judged by my friends if they were to find out. Ofcourse this limits my chances of actually finding anyone to practice BDSM in normal life which is why I turn to the internet.

My husband and I have a policy: We don't worry about the people who see us in here or at events. Think about it. If they see you, it's because they're in here looking for the same thing. Who's going to point the finger first?

[edit]: Oh yea, I forgot to mention... I do say on my profile if someone wants a picture of me all they have to do is ask... But still I get no mails.

Offering to send a picture is just not the same as having one there while they're reading your profile. If you want to get noticed you'll have to follow everyone else's advice and post a picture and fill out your profile.

Mistress Scarlet

_____________________________

"Say, that hurts a little bit" "And you don't like to be hurt do ya?" "I don't know...kinda fun sometimes if it's done in the right spirit."
Jean Harlow in The Beast of the City

(in reply to fkinebil)

Post #: 16

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 10:11:34 PM

ChaOz

Posts: 98
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

Be honest and fill out your profile. You might want to look on other bdsm sites also. Sounds like you want a switch you can role play with rather then 'fixed' roles. Or just offer yourself to already established couples, or say you are only looking to play scenes rather then have a relationship. You goto tell people what you want exactly.

(in reply to MstrssScarlet)

Post #: 17

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 10:50:44 PM

imtempting

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline

you can spam and troll the boards, flame people and stuff, start stupid threads and so on.

(in reply to ChaOz)

Post #: 18

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/7/2006 11:12:31 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Id say you would want to fill in the profile,and then actively search out and contact people in your area. Maybe even speak to a few other ocal subs or slaves, and see if they are having luck and how they have done it. Maybe someone knows of a few events or maybe even a local board or two that could help. Also, expanding your radius will help. Age is a stumbling block on occasion, but it shouldnt be a brick wall.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to imtempting)

Post #: 19

RE: How to get noticed? - 11/8/2006 4:34:07 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

OK Im going to go against what most on here are saying. You dont need to put up a pic. If your are offering one that is enough. Mass mailings go for it. You may get turned down a lot but thats how it is on here. Everyone is seeking someone different. As was mentioned persistance pays off. Just dont be whiney about it. The main thing you have to have is patience. Without that your going nowhere.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 20

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