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grief - 10/22/2006 2:45:25 PM

seawavesbreaking

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline

This one wonders if there are O/others who have gone thru or perhaps going thru grief of One’s Master/sub/slave?
Are there ways to cope beyond the veils of pain? Is there an end to grief?
Is there a way of knowing that there is more to things than the heavy weight overcoat dragging as Y/you attempt to carry on?

Sometimes it feels as tho it is twilight forever locked in the time when it is permanent winter no growth no moving on. Does it ever return to spring?Is it disloyal to yearn for either death to return and claim you or even worst disloyal to hope that there is life out there I don’t know… help

Post #: 1

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 2:56:55 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Ah, yes; the Fimbul winter that presages the Ragnarok. Yes, spring does come, and everything shines anew. I can't believe that at 38 this is your first One love of your life that is lost.............

There is a song and KatyLied or someone will post it I am sure...........

Wash my car in the rain;
change my new guitar strings;
so on,

find other things to do than to opine fuck weasels. Nothing as over as christmas or a relationship gone south for the winter.

You live, therein art thou blessed!
You have time to commune with yourself, therein art thou blessed!
You have your youth and comeliness to attract another ne'er do well sort of fellow, therein art thou blessed!

Fold tent on the bad self talk and maudlin thought , wnch.

Find good and pleasant things, and chersish experience, for it is all you take to the grave.

(My apologies to Billy)

Buck up and show 'em your ass, kid!!!

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to seawavesbreaking)

Post #: 2

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 3:08:27 PM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline

I don't know your situation, but depression and grief can sometimes make you lose sight of the bigger picture. Life has low points where you feel alone and unable to go on. Give yourself time to heal. Reflect on things that make your life enjoyable. Ponder the things you like about yourself - skills and talents you have. Don't allow anything or anyone have the power to make you doubt your life.

(in reply to seawavesbreaking)

Post #: 3

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 3:10:04 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

I'm missing something here? Is someone dead, dumped, sick, sloshed or just in need of medication?

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Calandra)

Post #: 4

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 3:13:52 PM

givemyall

Posts: 620
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

I'm missing something here? Is someone dead, dumped, sick, sloshed or just in need of medication?

I missed it too, read it, re-read it and then wandered off scratching my head - it sure has caused me grief

(in reply to theRose4U)

Post #: 5

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 3:48:23 PM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

Ooooh, the CM Dear Abby writer is at it again. Look at grief this way. It is part of the healing process and when voiced the healing is almost there.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to seawavesbreaking)

Post #: 6

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 3:54:39 PM

SirLordTrainer

Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: seawavesbreaking

This one wonders if there are O/others who have gone thru or perhaps going thru grief of One’s Master/sub/slave?
Are there ways to cope beyond the veils of pain? Is there an end to grief?
Is there a way of knowing that there is more to things than the heavy weight overcoat dragging as Y/you attempt to carry on?

Sometimes it feels as tho it is twilight forever locked in the time when it is permanent winter no growth no moving on. Does it ever return to spring?Is it disloyal to yearn for either death to return and claim you or even worst disloyal to hope that there is life out there I don’t know… help

Ahh and yet I'll not go quietly into that good night.. WTF does this hafta do with 'General BDSM Discussion'

Edited to add that this is the 3rd such off topic post Ive read on this board in the last hour.

< Message edited by SirLordTrainer -- 10/22/2006 4:00:31 PM >

_____________________________

Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

(in reply to seawavesbreaking)

Post #: 7

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 3:57:48 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

I've seen an answer to this type of question that is really great, and I think it was from LA.......which is, if you have to ask "Are there others who......................(fill in the blank)" the answer almost certainly is "Yes".

< Message edited by windchymes -- 10/22/2006 3:58:16 PM >

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)

Post #: 8

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 4:02:17 PM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

i am assuming here that you left out a word or two in your OP. There are different kinds of grief for different kinds of pain. The grief i had finding out my former master had lied was very different from the grief i felt at losing my mom. Both very real, both very painful, but handled differently. Most importantly......both were survived; (however, i would give just about anything to be able to hug my mom and tell her i loved her, again). The former? well... an open manhole nearby?

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to seawavesbreaking)

Post #: 9

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 4:03:50 PM

seawavesbreaking

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline

am sorry wasnt sure where to place it but asks out of a sense that there must be others who have lost a Master thru illness as this one has ...

forgive this one for thinking it was a general discussion if needed will repost it where it should go

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 10

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 4:06:00 PM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

you left that part out of the OP. i am very sorry for your loss. .

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to seawavesbreaking)

Post #: 11

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 4:07:29 PM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: angelic

you left that part out of the OP. i am very sorry for your loss. .

Same here.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to angelic)

Post #: 12

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 4:12:50 PM

MasterRobsalayna

Posts: 212
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline

Yes, alayna lost a Master thru death over a year ago, though the relationship was over long before then. However, loss is loss and it is painful. alayna is sad that a very dear person left this earth way too soon. alayna has worked thru the grief of both losses and has come thru learning to love and be loved again and am with an amazing Master today. Feel free to email alayna on the other side if alayna can be of any help.

_____________________________

Master Rob's alayna
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only thing in life that i regret is living too many days regretting too many things. Life is for the living and i choose to live!

(in reply to seawavesbreaking)

Post #: 13

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 4:14:00 PM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

And there are those that have indeed lost their Masters through illness. Hopefully, they will see this and contact you on the other side. i do not feel right in giving their names here; however, if they see this post, i am sure they will contact you.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to seawavesbreaking)

Post #: 14

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 5:47:14 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

you're abit of a stickler for where "posts" should be arent you Trainer? <wicked grin> Do you often spend your time counting the mis placed topics?

(in reply to SirLordTrainer)

Post #: 15

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 5:56:37 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear seawavesbreaking, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Any death, regardless if a slave has lost a Master/Mistress or Masters, Mistresses having lost a slave, submissive; must handle grief in a manner which is tailored to your soul's/spirit's grieving processes.

It has no time limit, you cannot forget and move on but, you can look forward and occassionally return to the memories of what the past held for you and lessons learned.

No matter how much we prepare ourselves, it really isn't 'prepared enough.' I doubt if anybody is prepared to loose someone near or dear.

Best thing that you can do, is take your time and don't let anything rush you through. When it is time again, the door will open to another chapter and hopefully the new chapter will invite your mind, spirit and heart into a new realm.

Honor the memory but, do not be enslaved by it. It doesn't do either one of you justice.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to seawavesbreaking)

Post #: 16

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 10:59:46 PM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

Have not lost a Master but lost my vanilla husband on July 30 of this year. Grief is grief regardless of the status of the Master or husband. There are grief groups on line for widows and i know that some of the ladies were short a wedding ring but are accepted. The only problem is not being able to admit to being a part of this world for fear they will freak out. I would be willing to chat if you chose to email me. I know it is a sad time for you and that getting to know others in similar situations is helpful.

diamond

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 17

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 11:33:51 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Grief is always hard. Hell, I lost my dog today and I am absoultely wrecked. Ive lsot family members, Ive lost significant others...
IF you dwell on never mocing on with your life, then thats what will happen. You will never move on.
If you think about what youw ant to do once you have paid the proper respects to their memory and how they would wish you to continue on without them, then you'll eventualy move forward. They wont be replaced, but a new experience can follow.

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)

Post #: 18

RE: grief - 10/22/2006 11:45:06 PM

sunnydays

Posts: 116
Joined: 4/8/2006
Status: offline

my sympahties

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 19

RE: grief - 10/23/2006 1:52:41 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

greetings sea waevebreaking

i understand you grief i lost my sister and i can say i know how you feel i was lose for three years and i just come back to know i am okay i was given advice to take one second at a time, one mintue at a time and then one hour one day at a time, your not alone whom you have lost if you dream of them that is the other side coming to say i am okay. i was sick with grief for my sister i remember she would come to my sister dreams and never mine. so one day i cried and beg her to come to me in my dream i do not know when it was but i was lost in phillly i was tieing my shoes i look to the side and there was someone dress in a bright white nusres; uniform i look up and it was my sister she was a nusre she looked at me with a smile that made it so so much better she said to me " you look so sad " and then we hug i smelled her perfume and i felt her hold me as if no i was with her and i never felt the grief the way i did ever again she let me know she was ok this help me along with pray and a grief group. please if you wish wrote me i will help you. some may say my dream was no real and she did not come to me but i know she did it helped so much .

i do not know if you lose your master or a slave but whom ever it was he is still around you trust me on this i know of things and i seen many things you will understand he will come to you in your dreams listen to what is said

with much sadden but with hope

mons

(in reply to seawavesbreaking)

Post #: 20

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