RE: grief

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: grief

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: grief

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: grief - 10/23/2006 9:04:21 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

I had to beg release from my Master 7/29.
Though he did not die like your Master our relationship indeed did.
It's taken three months, but I'm feeling much more like my old self finally.
People you love never leave your heart.
Just remember to not let the negative or darkness overpower your goodness and light.
Keep your friends around, stay busy and this will pass.
suzanne

(in reply to seawavesbreaking)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: grief - 10/23/2006 9:22:25 AM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill

I had to beg release from my Master 7/29.
Though he did not die like your Master our relationship indeed did.
It's taken three months, but I'm feeling much more like my old self finally.
People you love never leave your heart.
Just remember to not let the negative or darkness overpower your goodness and light.
Keep your friends around, stay busy and this will pass.
suzanne

Hello A/all,

I read an article last year, I believe in Psychology Today, where the author proposed the idea that if a human being can be compared to a multi-tasking computer system, than the images of one's experience can be compared to software running in them.

For example, I am driving a forklift in the harbor today. There are a wide variety of sensory inputs, as well as my own thoughts as I work. When I go home tonight, I can sit back in my chair and think of the day I had. The day I had is over, it is gone, and yet it is not, because I am sitting in my chair at home thinking about it.

What he suggested in this article was that when a person loses somebody, be it breaking up or death or whatever, that person's phsycial presence is no longer with us. This does not mean that that person does not still exists in your mind, running like a software program interleaved within the rest of your consciousness. I have lost close friends and relatives over the years, and while it does not negatively impact my life, I can still laugh thinking about one of them as we broke into a part of the harbor to fish at the age of 12. I can still feel angry and helpless as another one shared with me how the only thing which kept her going during chemotherapy was to be stoned.

I think to try to forget and obliterate the memory of a person from my mind would be tantamount to disrespecting who they were and how much they meant to me in the context where I was gifted with their presence.

Having said that, I would recommend to you to feel whatever you feel when you are feeling it, and perhaps try to hold on to the memory of the times your life was blessed with this person in it.

Keep your chin up, you will get through this.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: grief - 10/24/2006 3:44:23 AM

AnAtlantaDom

Posts: 98
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline

There are any number of books on Death, Dieing, & Grief. Sounds like they would be worth finding.

(in reply to mons)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: grief - 10/24/2006 4:27:44 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Yes i have.

If he was your love a part of you will mourn until the end of days that is the way of grief.

The good news is that it is possible to find another or in my case a pair of others who can ease the the grief and close the door on your pain, that you can learn to love as much for someone again.

I am sorry for your loss, here is a poem i keep close to me for it expressed how i felt for many a year, still do occasionally. Though the careful gentle understanding and support of those who hold me oh so carefully in their arms now has eased this much.

"My heart has rooms that sigh with dust
And ashes in the hearth.
They must be cleaned and blown away
By daylight's breath.
But I cannot essay the task,
For even dust to me is dear;
For dust and ashes still recall,
My love was here

"I know not how to say Farewell,
When Farewell is the word
That stays alone for me to say
Or will be heard.
But I cannot speak out that word
Or ever let my loved one go
How can I bear it that these rooms
Are empty so?

"I sit among the dust and hope
That dust will cover me.
I stir the ashes in the hearth,
Though cold they be.
I cannot bear to close the door,
To seal my loneliness away
While dust and ashes yet remain
Of my love's day."

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to seawavesbreaking)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: grief - 10/24/2006 4:32:41 AM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

There are somethings in life that you can't get over. However, you can still get through it and keep moving on. It's not hopeless.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

(in reply to seawavesbreaking)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: grief - 10/24/2006 4:36:17 PM

seawavesbreaking

Posts: 3
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline

this one has nt been able to access the pc or these messages just wish to say thank you for all those that has written here or to this one personally

thanx

(in reply to mons)

Profile

Post #: 26