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RE: ratios of men to women - 10/13/2006 2:02:01 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

At some point the subject of these ratios came up and I was quite surprised to learn that for her, a submissive, she has a ton of submissive guys contacting her looking for a dom

I bet if you had asked, she would have said the vast majority of those "submissive" guys had extensive lists of kinky things they wanted done to them, and that they had no clue that the dominant is gonna call the shots and tell them what to do.

So, I think estimates of the numbers of submissive men are highly inflated by the "do me" HNGs.


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(in reply to hsagnev)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/13/2006 2:36:34 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert
I bet if you had asked, she would have said the vast majority of those "submissive" guys had extensive lists of kinky things they wanted done to them, and that they had no clue that the dominant is gonna call the shots and tell them what to do.

So, I think estimates of the numbers of submissive men are highly inflated by the "do me" HNGs
Highly inflated is a huge understatement.  The vast majority of self labeled male submissives who email me have never considered what the word means.  Now if a girl is looking for a boatload of male bottoms to play with, the playground offers an endless variety of boy toys.   M

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""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/13/2006 2:40:34 PM   
MasterC46910


Posts: 108
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline 		I have had rather good success with online dating.  Both BDSM and vanilla sites.  I have found that you have to make it a numbers game.  When I first started I would write to only a few and never hear back from any of them.  Then I figured out that you need to contact a number of women to hear back from only a few.  Even with polite well written messages, you will hear back from only about 10% and most of that will be not interested because of one reason or another.  But you will meet some rather nice women and a few of them will actually like you...LOL  You just have to work at it.

Like was said before, most women will get lots of mail, sometimes hundreds of emails.  A lot of men will make them promises,  as men will do.  They have to decide which men they want to believe and go from there.  Your message will, more then likely, end up deleted and forgotten.  So you just have to move on and hope to find a woman that will be interested in something you say.  My main advise is don't play the promise game and be truthful as possible.  Understand it is a numbers game from the mans side and just keep plugging along.  There are women out there for you, just be open to what you expect.  What someone portrays on their profile may not be the person she is, she may just be a whole much more...

< Message edited by MasterC46910 -- 10/13/2006 2:43:34 PM >

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/13/2006 2:55:31 PM   
ChainedExistence


Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		A survey is as only as good as the way the people are chosen who answer it. I can't imagine too many men sitting down to answer a 1400 question survey! How did he decide who to ask?
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

You may be interested to know that Trevor Jacques has conducted extensive real time surveys (if I recall correctly, 1400 questions per survey) that reveal more women are lifestylers than men, and more submissives than Dominants.
 
He's a trained statistician, and currently in the process of compiling the data to ascertain trends amongst lifestylers.  I saw some of the raw data at an event in Toronto earlier this year, and it's really quite interesting. 
 
John

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/13/2006 2:56:33 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		How on earth am I getting all these women in that case?

Mysteries of the universe...

quote:

ORIGINAL: hsagnev

something on the order of 100 men to 1 women

(in reply to hsagnev)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/13/2006 3:02:41 PM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

How on earth am I getting all these women in that case?


It's that huge elephant dick on Your pic over there

(edited because once posted, the arrow pointed at MY avatar. lol. dorks r us)

< Message edited by Mavis -- 10/13/2006 3:07:40 PM >

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/13/2006 3:12:28 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Chained, you will have to ask Trevor Jacques those questions directly.  But I remind you that he is a professional statistician, and demonstrated for the benefit of other statisticians in attendence how he was able to identify statistically significant correlations.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to ChainedExistence)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/13/2006 4:20:51 PM   
BuxomGoddess714


Posts: 91
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: So.California
Status: offline 		The statistics are a little different I believe on this particular site....  Too many "men" (I am using that term losely) have got more then one profile on here, which makes the ratio seem higher of males to females.  As others have said, very few are true "submissives" and fewer are who they say they are.  I don't think we'll ever know who is really on this site.  CM doesn't monitor repeat ISPs as other sites do, even tho they are very much aware of this.  I have discussed it with the Monitors and CMs policy is they just don't care.  The Monitors do know who you are.  The more profiles, the better.  So, duplicate ISPs, no credit card required, no age verification.  This is a lose site and people wonder why there are so many _____(fill in the blank)?  I always picture a whole bunch of males, swapping fake pics and cybering with eachother from this site.  I've never known a non-Pro real life genetic female to resort to such measures or change her identity around in order to con the most people so she can get laid or jerkoff.  LOTS of that going on here with the boys.  I was referred to this site by people I know in real time for decades from the lifestyle.  Every woman I know has now left or just comes to read the boards.  In my estimate, the ratio here would be getting even worse.  Its Econ 101, the Law of Supply and Demand.  What you whip out so free and easily, we are not about to have grief over.  Oxygen is free because its all around us.  Blame the horny wankers and posers for taking over CM.  I do not get flooded and bombarded on other sites like I did on here so I bet the ratios are very different elsewhere.  But I have been checking IDs and running background checks and the people I have met on other sites are exactly who and what they said they were, unlike some of the scum I met from CM.  IMAGINE THAT. So, this is a bad example of "onlie" dating.  Thats not a typo.

Be blessed,
Goddess

(in reply to Mavis)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/13/2006 5:13:52 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I don't know, BuxomGoddess714.  Before coming on here, I played an on-line text based role playing game for about 4 years and was duped so many times, and scammed in other ways, I'm finding this site a refreshing change.  If I'm interested, I try to meet as soon as possible for the reality check and otherwise take things at face value.  If someone wants to use more than one profile, that's their business.

I also haven't had all that many inappropriate mails.  I haven't done the math, but I'd guess that I've had decent conversations with about 75% of the people mailing and no one has really offended me.  If I indicate that I'm not interested, or am feeling pressured, people have thus far backed off and given me space.  Maybe I'm going about things all wrong, but I'm not getting the problem.

But yeah, on-line dating works for me because I can do it at odd moments during the day or after my kids are in bed as my schedule allows.  For younger people, it probably isn't as good as other avenues, but, given my situation, its practical.  And, if the ratios are skewed, they're skewed in my favor.  So, I have no complaints.

(in reply to BuxomGoddess714)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/13/2006 8:26:25 PM   
Asako


Posts: 3
Joined: 10/9/2006
Status: offline 		In my admittedly limited experience at this website, this hasn't been the case.  Maybe some of them are fakers, but a quick search within my city reveals exactly the same number of submissive males as dominant women.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/13/2006 8:29:35 PM   
jesskitty


Posts: 185
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

You may be interested to know that Trevor Jacques has conducted extensive real time surveys (if I recall correctly, 1400 questions per survey) that reveal more women are lifestylers than men, and more submissives than Dominants.
 
He's a trained statistician, and currently in the process of compiling the data to ascertain trends amongst lifestylers.  I saw some of the raw data at an event in Toronto earlier this year, and it's really quite interesting. 
 
John

it sounds intersting but i'm curious as to how he's getting the statistics out? say your single or in a relationship but don't prefer to go to bdsm events, then how would he record people that are 'lifestylers' under that category that don't go for whatever reason to these events? or do these not count?

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/13/2006 9:15:57 PM   
BuxomGoddess714


Posts: 91
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: So.California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl
I don't know, BuxomGoddess714.  Before coming on here, I played an on-line text based role playing game for about 4 years and was duped so many times, and scammed in other ways, I'm finding this site a refreshing change. 


EEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!  online role playing games.... where the losers are the biggest winners.  another place I'd avoid like Satan himself.  HA Thanks for pointing that one out!!!  HATE THE GAMERS!  They kinda forget where the virtual world ends sometimes cuz their real world is so small.... call em like I know them, sorry.  I'm with you, found them full of scammers.  Bars, Prisons, Psych Wards, The Jerry Springer Show are also places I wouldn't seek dates.  If You have a real career, life, aren't a psycho, drunk, criminal, etc. those are reasonable boundaries.  Sites that do some verification, require a credit card, thru a friend, somewhere you're reasonably assured the person is something besides High Lord of suchandsuch imaginary Land Legand in his own Mind are a little bit safer.  Thats all I am sayin, folks.

BG
btw.... never had an "onlie" relationship. scammers continue to scam in person.  prefer not to engage with them from the get-go.  too busy to be a damn spy just doesn't work for Me.

< Message edited by BuxomGoddess714 -- 10/13/2006 9:46:07 PM >

(in reply to gypsygrl)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/13/2006 10:08:31 PM   
felineone


Posts: 92
Joined: 6/24/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BuxomGoddess714

The statistics are a little different I believe on this particular site....  Too many "men" (I am using that term losely) have got more then one profile on here, which makes the ratio seem higher of males to females.  As others have said, very few are true "submissives" and fewer are who they say they are.  I don't think we'll ever know who is really on this site.  CM doesn't monitor repeat ISPs as other sites do, even tho they are very much aware of this.  I have discussed it with the Monitors and CMs policy is they just don't care.  The Monitors do know who you are.  The more profiles, the better.  So, duplicate ISPs, no credit card required, no age verification.  This is a lose site and people wonder why there are so many _____(fill in the blank)?  I always picture a whole bunch of males, swapping fake pics and cybering with eachother from this site.  I've never known a non-Pro real life genetic female to resort to such measures or change her identity around in order to con the most people so she can get laid or jerkoff.  LOTS of that going on here with the boys.  I was referred to this site by people I know in real time for decades from the lifestyle.  Every woman I know has now left or just comes to read the boards.  In my estimate, the ratio here would be getting even worse.  Its Econ 101, the Law of Supply and Demand.  What you whip out so free and easily, we are not about to have grief over.  Oxygen is free because its all around us.  Blame the horny wankers and posers for taking over CM.  I do not get flooded and bombarded on other sites like I did on here so I bet the ratios are very different elsewhere.  But I have been checking IDs and running background checks and the people I have met on other sites are exactly who and what they said they were, unlike some of the scum I met from CM.  IMAGINE THAT. So, this is a bad example of "onlie" dating.  Thats not a typo.

Be blessed,
Goddess

I've actually had the opposite experience here on collarme. I haven't had all the nasty pics e-mailed to me.. nor all the e-mails wanting a "hook up", or asking for measurements, etc. This site just seems less tacky, has  more serious minded people. In my experience, anyway.

Speaking of internet, and m/f ratios.. I told a friend once that he spent way too much time on the internet.. needed to get out in real life.. go out, find a club, what ever.. he said, well, in a club, I might have 10-20 women to choose from.. but online there are thousands and thousands.. like a smorgasboard!
I guess thats true.. but really, by the time you weed out all the phonies and fakes online..  and the hours and hours hunched up in front of a screen...well at least in a bar you can usually tell if you're talking to a male or female..;)

(in reply to BuxomGoddess714)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/13/2006 10:45:51 PM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		jess, I can't speak for Trevor or his statistical analysis, but I don't think it's possible to know about people who are not known.  Those who do not participate can't be accounted for in any survey, vote, census, etc. no matter the lifestyle, no matter the issue.
 
If you want to "count" for something, you have to be "out there" and participate.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to jesskitty)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/13/2006 11:46:36 PM   
hsagnev


Posts: 188
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mavis

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

How on earth am I getting all these women in that case?


It's that huge elephant dick on Your pic over there

(edited because once posted, the arrow pointed at MY avatar. lol. dorks r us)


I concur

(in reply to Mavis)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/14/2006 12:08:11 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

You may be interested to know that Trevor Jacques has conducted extensive real time surveys (if I recall correctly, 1400 questions per survey) that reveal more women are lifestylers than men, and more submissives than Dominants.
 
He's a trained statistician, and currently in the process of compiling the data to ascertain trends amongst lifestylers.  I saw some of the raw data at an event in Toronto earlier this year, and it's really quite interesting. 
 
John


I think more accurately it shows that women are more likely to sit and answer 1400 questions.  How many men will sit still for that long, especially if they're at some special event and want to go out and have fun?

I'd like to know the percentages of Dom/mes, switches and subs in the male and female populations.  And the ratio of male to female.  But I'm not sure this survey is truly representative of the population as a whole.

I agree, happypervert, I think a large percentage of supposed BDSMers are simply guys who think this is their path to instant sex, and this might be skewing the figures.

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/14/2006 4:18:00 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		To me it has always seemed about equal as far as the Dom/sub category. You have to throw out all the parameters and view it as the general population. Women are slightly more numerous than men.

As far as the male Dom, sub female ratios, there is one factor that distorts the issue. Women want to find someone who will see them more than once. It is a biological, emotional and physical security driven need. They find comfort with someone who is nice and protective of them. Someone they see often. Women become selective because of this fact.

They want to narrow it down to someone they think will become the man who will begin a relationship of sorts and give them that security. Men feel safe physically and emotionally in one time encounters and pursue these connections.

So men hit on women more, asking for a one time, no strings meeting, in effect, while women hold out looking for someone who will give them more. That makes it appear as if it is harder for men.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to hsagnev)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/14/2006 5:10:18 AM   
patina


Posts: 493
Joined: 9/14/2006
From: no
Status: offline 		I guess I was an oddball in that it was the character, personality, and just general humanity of the male that decided me not his looks, build, or wealth.  I have my own income I do not need his.  Looks can change, build too changes. 

There are just as many guys who want that Barbie doll woman and don't care what is in the brain, or lack of in it, for some.  Some gals with great figures also have great minds and actually use them.  I wish I could have that great figure but I am stuck with what the Creator gave me.  I was slender before my marriage since no way.   I will continue to lose weight for my masters pleasure but for me I am happy whichever way I am.

Patina   

_____________________________

a diamond in the rough

(in reply to hsagnev)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/18/2006 6:49:04 AM   
demistress


Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline 		Snapshot of the "New Members" along the left side of CM at this moment:

1 Domme
2 FemSubs
10 Doms
7 MaleSubs

_____________________________

Mistress Heather
www.niteflirt.com/MizzSpice

Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to patina)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: ratios of men to women - 10/18/2006 7:09:47 AM   
MzTlaz


Posts: 140
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline 		I find that though there are a decent amount of male submissives in real life they tend to number MANY LESS than online.  I can't say I have ever seen hoards of male subs at any club or event I've been to....yet my mailbox online says very different.  Men just want to get laid and many will adopt any title that they think will help them do so....hence the double/triple profiles. 

Personally I don't do the online thing, I'm here for the message boards.  Occasionally I have met a few good people from these type of sites, Mercnbeth, Viper and his girl spring to mind....but as for relationship material...nope, not met anyone like that.

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 40
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