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RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 2:28:49 PM

PrimitiveLogic

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As so many other posts in other threads refer to...what is non scene time filled with? I feel the less broad one's base is, the harder it is to maintain a balanced relationship. This also applies to those that work well. As to leaving and ending...the more intense one's flame burned; the deeper the scars linger when darkness spreads its wings. Your pain is the memory of that reality...something not easily moved aside. I'd recommend taking many small steps in a variety of directions...hoping one might bring you closer to some sense of warmth and light. Find ways to cherish what was good...then if all else fails, eat a shit load of fine chocolate...non of that cheap stuff, you deserve it.

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RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 2:36:48 PM

LotusSong

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I think it was Rod McKuen that said:

"It's good sometimes, to open your heart and little a little hurt come in.. it proves you're still alive".

Also my other favorite is "Change isn't easy, it's just necessary". (not by Rod)

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Post #: 22

RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 2:39:37 PM

ownedgirlie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsylee

quote:

ORIGINAL: songofeire

When you ask this question...it's already the end of the line.
Well, actually, it was awhile ago, but you just got ready to face it.

i disagree. there is way too little information in the OP to make that call.

I strongly second this.

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RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 8:17:42 PM

Sinergy

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Hello A/all,

I completely understand the original poster's comments. Or perhaps I do not. What happens with me is that I hit a point where I realize that my life would be better spent without being involved in the other person's drama. I realize that I have asked her to deal with it. I have asked her to solve it. I have recommended solutions. But the drama is the stable point in her life.

I dont want to live a life filled with drama. I have expressed this. I have indicated that they need to fix it. I have mentioned that I cannot live a life involved in their drama; I have things of my own that need to be taken care of.

So I express my feelings and walk away stating "no harm, no foul" in response to their emotional response.

When I am done. I am done.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

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RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 8:45:54 PM

teamnoir

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The same as the end of any other relationship really. Grief. Spend some time alone or with other friends or lovers. Then move on.

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RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 8:46:27 PM

mellian

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When they lose my trust in them, and how I recover depends on emotionally attach I was to them and how the relationship ended. I just know was hell trying to recover from the end of the first relationship, especially when they wouldn't get out of my life for a year until they socially shot their foot.

-mellian

< Message edited by mellian -- 10/8/2006 8:47:21 PM >

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RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 8:57:16 PM

juliaoceania

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The only D/s relationship I have been involved in that split was devastating to me... you know .. the first cut is the deepest...smiles. Honestly, it took bonding to another for me to really let go. I did not search out someone to fix my pain or anything like that, but I was determined to continue looking even as I healed from that experience. They say there is nothing like new romance to cure a broken heart. It is not healthy to stay in grief.

I will say that I usually am ready to move on from a relationship when I can see that my needs are not being met, that my mate has no plans of meeting those needs even after I have told them as bluntly as possible what my needs are. If I get to the point where it has become apparent to me that I am just throwing good after bad, wasting my time, and burning daylight, I usually will walk... although I tend to try to see if it will go somewhere. Life is too valuable to spend it fighting someone to be what you need, if they aren't they just aren't and you got to give up the ghost and move on. I tend to do this sooner than later as I get older and wiser. We can only change ourselves and no one else.

I do not give ultimatums, I just move on emotionally and once it gets to that point walking is pretty damn easy

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Post #: 27

RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 9:37:12 PM

becca333

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Mavis

back to the topic at hand.. i kind of think like the other poster, when you get to asking if it is, pretty good bet the time has come. But.. then, it could just be a good time to make changes to the exisiting relationship, not all reflection is bad. Maybe it's time to try to imagine what changes could be made and weigh if those improvements would be good?

i know when my marraige went flaky because He went through some midlife crisis thingie and did everythig but get the red sports car... W/we decided it really wasn't the end of the line for us, but it WAS the end of THAT line. O/our marriage has been re-defined, incorporating many of the things we wanted at this stage of O/our lives. W/we essentially "broke up" and "reunited" as two different partners. Some people divorce and marry others, W/we just did it without changing out the cast of characters.

That's such a great way to cope with change!

So many couples split up, and then each partner grows and changes, and ironically, if the changes had happened earlier they'd have saved the marriage. You two managed to do that - you should write a 'how to' book! It'd be whole lot more useful than most of the stuff on the market.

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Post #: 28

RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 11:35:28 PM

Mavis

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becca, lol. i'm still writing it. if somebody digs up my computer after i die, they're welcome to publish the rants!

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Post #: 29

RE: End of the Line? - 10/9/2006 2:47:37 AM

eyesopened

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

We both realize that we would need to stop these types of activities eventually.
We both know we have been blessed to know and be able to be D/s all these years.. but there comes a time when the party has to, not end, but change course.

This is something i've thought about quite a bit lately... At what point does one just give it up? i discovered myself too late and have been wondering when it's no longer healthy to keep searching. but that is probably a subject for a different thread.

To the subject here, i think a relationship needs to be over when there is more heartache than joy, when a person starts feeling more empty than full.

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RE: End of the Line? - 10/9/2006 4:45:12 AM

LotusSong

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quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

This is something i've thought about quite a bit lately... At what point does one just give it up? i discovered myself too late and have been wondering when it's no longer healthy to keep searching. but that is probably a subject for a different thread.

To the subject here, i think a relationship needs to be over when there is more heartache than joy, when a person starts feeling more empty than full.

You and I are the same age :) I have found, when you stop looking for something.. THAT'S when it shows up!

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Post #: 31

RE: End of the Line? - 10/9/2006 4:56:07 AM

kisshou