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End of the Line? - 10/7/2006 10:53:09 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		How do You know it's the end of the line
in Your Bdsm Relationships?
 
What do You do to recover?
 
quote:

"It's a life, It's just not Your life!"
 
Ant, & LilBecque
 
 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: End of the Line? - 10/7/2006 11:00:42 PM   
MasterC46910


Posts: 108
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline 		Just like any other relationship, you and/or your partner will make that decison.  There are different ways to recover.  It works differently for different people.

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: End of the Line? - 10/7/2006 11:04:02 PM   
songofeire


Posts: 40
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

How do You know it's the end of the line
in Your Bdsm Relationships?
 
What do You do to recover?
 
quote:

"It's a life, It's just not Your life!"
 
Ant, & LilBecque
 
 


When you ask this question...it's already the end of the line.
Well, actually, it was awhile ago, but you just got ready to face it.
And you deal with it by not dying when you are sure you are going to, maybe even wish you could just to end the kind of pain even masochists can't bear. And time passes, and very, very slowly, the pain recedes. And while time is passing you write down every lesson you paid so dearly to learn, so you don't have to learn them again.
But the thing you don't do is lose hope, lose your ability to trust, to submit, to love...because just because this wasn't The One, doesn't mean The One doesn't exist.
And later on, try to be friends with him. The ties that bind the heart are lasting ones, even when they have to take less intense forms to continue.

MarinMasoMama

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: End of the Line? - 10/7/2006 11:24:03 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Well said songofeire!

diamond

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to songofeire)
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RE: End of the Line? - 10/7/2006 11:33:30 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		umm.. i find something more entertaining and uplifting to focus on. 

i think the end of the line is when either party gives up.  Cos if yer not trying, yer dying. 

man my cat is so cute.. i should take a pic

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 1:16:54 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		My mom once gave me a pretty good piece of advice (as moms will do) in this area. She said, "Ask yourself, would life be better without this (person, thing, relationship) in my life?" If the answer is yes, it's time to walk away. If the answer is no, there's stuff to work on.

Getting over the relationship is like getting over any emotional hurt: you continue on through life, take care of yourself well and see that, with time, the hurt fades a bit.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 4:45:07 AM   
WhipTheHip


Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline 		Ten Ways to Know Its the End of the Line
 
10.   You're master always insists on eating vanillia ice cream,
        and having vanillia flavored cream in their coffee.
 
9,.    Your partner is spending more time with his horse
        then he spends with you.
 
8.     He ties you up spread-eagle to the bed and forgets
        you there, only to return a week later.
 
7.     He'd rather watch Jay Leno's monologue than spank
        you silly.
 
6.     You find out your master is really a gay queen, and dances
        in an all female girl revue.
 
5.      You are watching TV and hear on the news your master has
         just been electrocuted in some state electric chair for having
         committed mass murder.
 
4.       Your master takes your dog to obediance school,
           but comes back wearing a collar.  When your
           dog barks, your master asks, "How high?"
 
3.     You discover your master has 200 other subs in
         in every US state.
 
2.     Your master keeps typing the same line over
         and over again.
 
And now the number one way to tell your bdsm
relationship is over with.
 
1.     Your master hasn't contacted you in over a  year. 
          And there are cobwebs on all his toys. 

< Message edited by WhipTheHip -- 10/8/2006 4:48:36 AM >

_____________________________



(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 5:00:52 AM   
eroticangel


Posts: 272
Joined: 2/13/2006
Status: offline 		songofire i think you said it all....thank you!

(in reply to WhipTheHip)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 5:54:40 AM   
gypsylee


Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: songofeire

When you ask this question...it's already the end of the line.
Well, actually, it was awhile ago, but you just got ready to face it.


i disagree. there is way too little information in the OP to make that call.

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.


(in reply to songofeire)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 6:05:56 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		I've been debating whether to post my most recent development in my long D/s relationship with Slave.  It seems since this thread is here, this must be the time to share what has recently happened.  I do this because I feel it's important for everyone to know that you need to remain flexible and fluid in these relationships.
 
Slave and I have been together as M/s for 9 1/2 years.  This weekend we have decided to make a major change.
 
We had a wonderful time followed by a very serious discussion.  We both realize that we would need to stop these types of activities eventually.  He'll be retiring at the end of next year and his life will change drastically. He has plans for traveling quite a bit.  We both know we have been blessed to know and be able to be D/s all these years.. but there comes a time when the party has to, not end, but change course.  We have agreed to enjoy each other as friends and move into the next stages of our lives.    Being a romantic at heart I tend to categorize things in my mental scrapbook- It was a lovely bittersweet ending.
 
But we still have the base.. and that is our friendship.  If all there is holding you together is D/s, then it is my opinion.. that there isn't that much to begin with.

I will not be seeking another slave.  This type of perfection comes along but once in a lifetime.
 
Edited to add:
http://members.cox.net/lotussong/SOUL.TXT
http://members.cox.net/lotussong/SKYLARK.TXT- By Linda Goodman
 ( I just relate to a few lines in each-  I'm not sad at all- this is life)
 

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 10/8/2006 6:32:14 AM >

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 6:06:10 AM   
WhipTheHip


Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline 		He stops kissing you, or his kisses do not linger and
are superficial. 

_____________________________



(in reply to gypsylee)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 6:29:31 AM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Like any other relationship ... when you'd rather read a book than paddle the crap out of the sub/slave ... it's pretty much over.

Boredom is probably the number one killer of any relationship.  If you're just getting signs of that particular feeling ... change course a bit, begin a new hobbie or ... suddenly act unexpectedly.  You may get punished, but ... at least your Dom will be touching you.  Perhaps a spark will ignite again.  If not ... it's time to ask for your release.  Move on and take what you learned with you, the good, the bad, and the really horrifying ...

My 2 cents



_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to WhipTheHip)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 6:36:46 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		You know.  There's a moment when you're still trying to hold on, and then suddenly you just know it's time to let go. 

And it hurts like hell.

And you deal with it, and move on, and even though you don't believe it's possible, you find someone else and things are great again.  Not in the same way, but that's fine.

Breaking up can be hell, but no matter how bad it hurts it's still better to be out there trying than sitting back and never knowing.

(Edited due to typos.  Damn keyboard.)

< Message edited by becca333 -- 10/8/2006 6:38:09 AM >

(in reply to WhipTheHip)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 8:49:54 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

How do You know it's the end of the line
in Your Bdsm Relationships?
 
What do You do to recover?
 
quote:

"It's a life, It's just not Your life!"
 
Ant, & LilBecque
 
 

How do I know it's the end of the line? When one of us makes the decision to be honest about it and speak with the other.
 
How do I go on after? By being honest about what happened to end the relationship and by attempting to do better the next time around.

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 8:54:44 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: knees2you

How do You know it's the end of the line
in Your Bdsm Relationships?
 
What do You do to recover?
 
quote:

"It's a life, It's just not Your life!"
 
Ant, & LilBecque
 
 



Whatever decision you make, just be happy with it. 

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 9:12:11 AM   
makwa


Posts: 13
Joined: 9/30/2006
Status: offline 		A friend of mine explained it to me like this....  there are break ups but when a woman decides to give the last kiss....  That is when she is ready to move on and is done with it.....  At least that was how it was for myself and my x husband....  we broke up and went thru that time of unsure but all of  a sudden one day i just said this is over and that was that....  yes we argue (often over the children) but i am nolonger connected.....  i nolonger stay up at nights and wonder or worry about him....  that kiss off happend and i am now so much happier....  i am in such a better place...

* think of it this way all of the things you have been thru in your life is getting your ready for the ONE your ment for....  he too is getting ready for you


(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 9:30:12 AM   
SweetCaleigh


Posts: 59
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

I've been debating whether to post my most recent development in my long D/s relationship with Slave.  It seems since this thread is here, this must be the time to share what has recently happened.  I do this because I feel it's important for everyone to know that you need to remain flexible and fluid in these relationships.
 
Slave and I have been together as M/s for 9 1/2 years.  This weekend we have decided to make a major change.
 
We had a wonderful time followed by a very serious discussion.  We both realize that we would need to stop these types of activities eventually.  He'll be retiring at the end of next year and his life will change drastically. He has plans for traveling quite a bit.  We both know we have been blessed to know and be able to be D/s all these years.. but there comes a time when the party has to, not end, but change course.  We have agreed to enjoy each other as friends and move into the next stages of our lives.    Being a romantic at heart I tend to categorize things in my mental scrapbook- It was a lovely bittersweet ending.
 
But we still have the base.. and that is our friendship.  If all there is holding you together is D/s, then it is my opinion.. that there isn't that much to begin with.

I will not be seeking another slave.  This type of perfection comes along but once in a lifetime.
 
quote:



Hello LotusSong,
 
i have to say that this slave feels for You and can empathize.  i have had a Master for well over 10 years.  O/our relationship was that of DEEP love for each other.  When W/we first started this relationship on line W/we knew that there may be a day that things will change, but W/we didn't think about it much through out O/our time together except for the times i brought it up and asked to discuss it with my Master. 

When W/we first met W/we were both married.  W/we were B/both in the same place at the time and it worked well. W/we had an online relationship, but W/we also met several times during the year RT.  It would have been more but unfortunately He lives nearly 5 hours away from me. As time went on my husband and i separated and it has been over 4 1/2 years since then.  my Master has helped me all through this and more.  He has been a blessing to me.  i doubt i could EVER find another Master like Him and it saddens me. 
 
Anyway, in August of this year He has finally retired from His career which also saddened me because it was another step to what was about to happen.  (i am 41 and He is 65) This meant that after He retired it will be even harder for U/us to communicate, because He will be home with His wife there most of the time and it is difficult to make phone calls. So W/we finally had to make a decision as to what i was suppost to do.  i had to let go... and move on.  W/we are still very good friends and i do love Him, but it's time that i set out and try my wings on for a new relationship more RT. i hope that one day i may find the One i can eventually spend my life with and to serve and honor Him with all my being.

*sweet caleigh*

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 10:27:47 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		LotusSong, i am sorry to hear that Maam, it sounded like a really positive relationship.  Well wishes on the next phase of your life and friendship with him. 

So, You won't be seeking another slave?  Quick, put on Your runnign shoes, because bet there will be plenty seeking You, gonna have to run pretty fast to stay ahead of them. <grins>

(in reply to SweetCaleigh)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 10:33:36 AM   
Mavis


Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline 		back to the topic at hand..  i kind of think like the other poster, when you get to asking if it is, pretty good bet the time has come.  But..  then, it could just be a good time to make changes to the exisiting relationship, not all reflection is bad.  Maybe it's time to try to imagine what changes could be made and weigh if those improvements would be good?

i know when my marraige went flaky because He went through some midlife crisis thingie and did everythig but get the red sports car...  W/we decided it really wasn't the end of the line for us, but it WAS the end of THAT line.  O/our marriage has been re-defined, incorporating many of the things we wanted at this stage of O/our lives.  W/we essentially "broke up" and "reunited" as two different partners.  Some people divorce and marry others, W/we just did it without changing out the cast of characters.

(in reply to Mavis)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: End of the Line? - 10/8/2006 10:47:17 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mavis

LotusSong, i am sorry to hear that Maam, it sounded like a really positive relationship.  Well wishes on the next phase of your life and friendship with him. 

So, You won't be seeking another slave?  Quick, put on Your runnign shoes, because bet there will be plenty seeking You, gonna have to run pretty fast to stay ahead of them. <grins>


Thank you and Caleigh for the well wishes.  I didn't post this for sympathy.. I think it was something we need to address.  We all get older.  There are things you have no control over.. aging is one of them.  I wish it was another Mistresse or another woman or whatever.. but it's not.. it's Father time :)  (the old bastard!!!)
 
For those just starting out, you never see this coming.  while you might know it will.  it still takes you aback when it happens.  We have tried over the past 2 years to make the "healthy break"... it will last anywhere from 3 days to one week..  We just have to keep our resolve.  It'd be SO much easier if we hated each other LOL!
 
So everybody..I'M FINE.  I just feel like I've lost an oar for now..but that will pass.  It's just decompression time.

(in reply to Mavis)
Profile   Post #: 20
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