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I've decided to open my mail in front of you... - 10/7/2006 2:25:54 PM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
"IMPORTANT INFORMATION ENCLOSED":

Homefield finance wants to save me $700.00 a month in finance charges for my house (further reading in the fine print makes clear that Homefield is a rape artist and wants me to sign up for a mortgage that will allow them to give me a mortgage that causes $1,100.00 more per month to go to principal...DEBT....in essence, I will owe $1,100.00 more every month...but I'll "save" $700.00 a month refinancing with them).

Thanks, but no thanks.

The "Douglas Doniger" agency wants me to know (by addressing the correspondence as "To whom it may concern") that my commercial properties are of "significant importance", and they feel they could maximize my income potential by (I presume, addressing me as effectively "Hey YOU!").

(I actually didn't know anyone but my ex wife's divorce attorney even knew I owned commercial properties).

US News and World Report wants me to know that they're offering a "one time only!!!" opportunity to join "world reknowned, knowledgeable experts in economics" in the ongoing effort to educate "those of us who are world shakers" to maximize our investments.

(I sent them a very cordial response that the Douglas Doniger agency is handling all my maximization at this time, thank you very much).

Advanta (an agency for VISA) has opted to opportune themselves of my name (which by the way is "Owner" at {my address}), whereupon I can sign up, gain exactly $2,000.00 "Pre-Approved" and be on my way to flights of fancy, including "trips to Aruba, ski vacations in Switzerland..."

Thank you...no.

Wells Fargo.  Those are the very people that insisted that I didn't make enough to cover the refi I asked for....now they want to offer me a $175,000.00 second mortgage.

(I'm thinking...I wasn't good enough for a first mortgage...I say they're not good enough for a second.  SEE YA!!!!!).

The Wall Street Journal.  They want me to subscribe.  I'm afraid they'll have to speak to my representatives at Douglas Doniger...I'm simply far too rich to understand my current financial status (Hey...if you don't know how much your 73 Pinto station wagon cost...you can't afford it)....my agents at Douglas Doniger will inform you whether or not your publication will suffice for my needs. 

(Have your people call my people).

Another mortgage group...very classy paper...almost parchment....but...insurance.

Thank you...no.

This next one actually looks good...they even used my middle name.

OH !!!!

I won the International Clearing House Winnebago Sweepstakes!!!!

If I can assure them that I can spell "Winnebago" on camera....I will have a 1 in 27 katrillion chance of getting a check for some amount that's in excess of....ohhhh...someone's at the door....

(I am such a tease).

< Message edited by LTRsubNW -- 10/7/2006 2:31:13 PM >
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RE: I've decided to open my mail in front of you... - 10/7/2006 4:35:33 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
Hello A/all,

I gave my interest in my old house, and the mortgage, to my ex-wife 4 years ago.  Due to somebody's screw up, this was not reflected on my credit score until last year.

So now I get 4-6 calls a week from people offering to refinance my house.

These sorts of things always fascinate me.

It is like leasing an automobile.  If you buy a car, you pay $250 / month for 4 years and eventually own the car.  If you lease a car, you pay $280 / month for 4 years, pay penalties for driving more than 12k miles a year, and do not own the car at the end of the 4 years.

People are nice enough to tell me that buying a car is not a good investment.  I usually respond that I dont invest in my car, I use it to get to work.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to LTRsubNW)
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RE: I've decided to open my mail in front of you... - 10/7/2006 4:54:14 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
I know I've been getting a plethora of offers like you have. must be the last quarter rush to meet quotas!  They all go into the shredder

(in reply to LTRsubNW)
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RE: I've decided to open my mail in front of you... - 10/7/2006 5:35:44 PM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline
Gotta love junk mail.
 
I like the one's that tell me they can offer a better rate on my mortgage. I'm still tempted to tune them in that my house is paid for, so if they are offering a better rate, does that mean they are going to pay me to live here...lol?

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to LTRsubNW)
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RE: I've decided to open my mail in front of you... - 10/8/2006 2:51:56 AM   
seeksfemslave


Posts: 4011
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline
Talk about economic experts and finance, I remember reading the breakdown of the costs of running a quite modest Brit car; included in that cost was the interest you could have earned if you hadn't bought the car.

Well I thought they should have reduced the cost by including what you saved because you didn't buy a Rolls Royce.
Am I an expert ?

(in reply to ScooterTrash)
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RE: I've decided to open my mail in front of you... - 10/8/2006 3:03:23 AM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline
Thanks.  As if I did not get enough of My own spam.  It was a pleasure to share in yours.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

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