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RE: Sub to Dom - 10/3/2006 9:46:26 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Some do that as formal training to become a dominant. It doesnt work for everyone but alot have done it. I personally dont think living as a sub for a year prepares you for being a dominant but thats just my opinion. Its whatever works for that person.

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RE: Sub to Dom - 10/3/2006 9:51:44 AM

SassySue

Posts: 54
Joined: 2/12/2006
Status: offline

I started Domme. I wanted to learn more about why my submissive was able to give to me the way she did. The more I delved, the more fascinated I became. Before long, I was considering my submissive side. It took much time and pain to learn that I truly am both. I believe I am a better Domme because I took the time to explore. I learned more about being Domme as a submissive, than as a Domme. Does this work for everyone? Nooo.. we are not in a cookie cutter mold. I am as I am.

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RE: Sub to Dom - 10/3/2006 10:51:33 AM

MistressMelissa

Posts: 226
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline

Greetings,

When people come to this lifestyle some already know who and what they are. Others are just fascinated by it and don't really know where they fit. I've watch people come into our community and after talking to someone for 5 minutes they are deemed dom/sub.

Call it Old Guard or Leather, in the days before internet it was much harder to find your way into the community. Someone had to sponsor you and invite you into their community. The other person put their reputation on the line that you where worth the risk of exposing themselves to an outsider. Employers and the world at large was not very tolerant of us back then. For most these days there is little risk of loosing employment or your residence. You had to prove you where worth being allowed into the community. Heck it was not even called BDSM until the advent of the internet. You had bondage and you had S&M. That was it. Like the days of 3 TV station, the internet has added 200+ station to "what it is we do". Which in and of itself is an internet term.

While it might be tradition for a dominant to bottom for training, that is different than submitting to someone. When one has had to hit their knees before another, it does add a level of understanding and appreciation that might not be understood otherwise.

I would simply suggest that a deeper understanding is gained through actual experience than the regurgitation of information posted in chat rooms. Just as my worth as an owner is not measured based upon play skills or the number of posts on a message board, it is measure in the quality and happiness of those who freely choose to serve me.

This lifestyle is a journey of self discovery. Whatever path you need to take will be the right one for you. Just don't let you ego block you from the correct path.

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Melissa
Mistress of Ds Haven
www.dshaven.com

The person who says it can not be done, should not interrupt the person doing it. - Ancient Wisdom

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RE: Sub to Dom - 10/3/2006 11:57:23 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

(This cross posted in part from the 1950's thread in which I state-)

I guess I need to admit that this is pretty much how our household is (1950's style). It's what I was taught growing up. Do I make cookies and wear a dress with pearls? Nooo... but I don't start talking the minute he gets in the door. He gets his hug first. I look into his face to see just how he is feeling. If he's not talking..I'm there there asking "wassamatter? wassamatter?". I make sure there are munchies in the house and if he wants a beer.. it's there. If he is sighing as he is watching TV.. THEN I'll look over and say "rough day?" He'll either nod or not or tell me the gruesome details. It's a skill :)

I've always seen marriage as a merger of two lives. Much like a business partnership. He earns the money, I run the house and finances. I make sure life is as pleasant for him when he comes in that door as possible.

Now back to the post.. should a Dom be a sub first.. I say, depends on the person's background.

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RE: Sub to Dom - 10/3/2006 3:02:02 PM

TheShadows

Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline

Short Answer: I think people should do what's right for them.

Long Answer: I started out "submissive"/bottom and tried and tried to cram myself into that mold for 4 years. Did it work out? No. Did I learn anything about myself, what I want, and how to achieve that? Hell yeah.

It's the path less travelled, and for me, it made all the difference...Or something like that.

As always, YMMV...

MrsShadows

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