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RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 10:32:13 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

The people I'm talking about are the ones who feel that being treated like a slave is the only way they can be loved.

Can you tell me how you came to this conclusion about most of the submissives that you have seen in the lifestyle? I can understand the exterior judgment of the behavior of attention seeking Jerry Springer types as being overt and obvious... But this is a more intimate and internal judgment on submissives in the general and not the specific.

Did you ask them this? Or was there something in their behavior that clued you in that there was no other way to be loved other than by being a sub/slave? I am just curious as to how your opinion was formed... not snarking or judging it....

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MissJennifer001)

Post #: 21

RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 10:55:00 AM

gypsylee

Posts: 293
Joined: 9/18/2006
From: Melbournia, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedSavageSlave

I am not exactly sure what being an attention whore has to do with whether or not someone is submissive. I am a self proclaimed "Attention Whore Extraordinaire" and will try to get attention where ever I can get it.. but that has nothing to do with whether or not I am obedient. Whether or not I submit. Whether or not I follow the expectations and instructions of my owner. It happens to be a personality quirk. Being an attention whore is NOT being a brat or a drama queen. These are three different distinctions.

excuse me! i am the Attention Whore Extraordinairre!!!

i agree with you about it being a personality quirk not a submissive thing (but i think we sorta misunderstood the OP). i do think attention whore does go hand-in-hand with drama-queen and brat though and i'm trying to tone mine down a bit cos it annoys a certain person and i can see where He's coming from.

_____________________________

You're one twisted fuck... Nup, I'm just an ordinary girl with nothin' to lose.

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)

Post #: 22

RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 12:22:10 PM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

> There is nothing wrong with someone speaking from their experience.
> In his experiences he has met women who he feels have been in tune
> with themselves as opposed to those who havent. Why such an emotional rant?

1. I hate it when people judge other people.

2. It seemed to me the person was saying someone wasn't a true submissive
and questioned their lifestyle credentials because they were not the type of
person they were looking for.

3. I'm emotional.

_____________________________

(in reply to MissJennifer001)

Post #: 23

RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 12:22:50 PM

MissJennifer001

Posts: 39
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

The people I'm talking about are the ones who feel that being treated like a slave is the only way they can be loved.

Can you tell me how you came to this conclusion about most of the submissives that you have seen in the lifestyle? I can understand the exterior judgment of the behavior of attention seeking Jerry Springer types as being overt and obvious... But this is a more intimate and internal judgment on submissives in the general and not the specific.

Did you ask them this? Or was there something in their behavior that clued you in that there was no other way to be loved other than by being a sub/slave? I am just curious as to how your opinion was formed... not snarking or judging it....

Good question, Julia. These are observations I've made from personal interactions and relationships and also from talking to people. And as I said in my last post, I'm very keen to pick up on people's true motives in most situations. I would never pressume that anyone is this way upon first meeting them, but after a little time it's easy to read. Here's an example: I met a woman at one of my parties who had volunteered to help out (bartending, watching the coat check or whatever was needed that night). After her duties were done she had begun to play with a couple in attendance. Being the voyuer that I am, I watched their scene with great interest. The girl who had joined them immediately got into her sub-space and the scene was incredible. She came back to our parties often and played with this particular couple everytime. During play and scene related things she seemed so together and sure of herself, but after hanging out with her a few times outside of scene related events it became obvious that she had extremely low self esteem and couldn't understand why anyone would want to play with her or be involved with her in any way. So that's an example of where this observation has come from, Julia. And just to finish up, the sub in my example have become close friends and I am doing my best to help her see all the great things about herself that she can't see. And even though she makes it very obvious that she would like to further our relationship, I can't, in good conscience do it for fear that she is just latching on to me the way she does with others she seeks that type of attention from.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 24

RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 12:24:15 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

1. I hate it when people judge other people.

Then why do you do it so frequently?

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 25

RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 12:29:52 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I think a lot of women suffer from low self esteem in general if you look at the psych work done on women in the population at large. Now I am not saying that submissives women do not have this issue less or more so than other women either...just noting that many women suffer from this

In this society girls often get a tough break if they do not measure up... eating disorders, cutting, involving oneself in abusive relationships or addictions are just some of the ways in which these things can manifest. Most women I have been close with have had some issue with self esteem... I have myself, and as I get older it gets better... I am more comfortable with me.

Perhaps you know of dommes that suffer from self esteem issues and need to control relationships because they fear not being in control over the relationship? I do not know if there are many like this, but it surely would not surprise me if some were. It is just another symptom of the demon called low self esteem in my opinion.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to MissJennifer001)

Post #: 26

RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 12:40:09 PM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip
1. I hate it when people judge other people.

Then why do you do it so frequently?
~stef

Stef, for the same reason you so frequently pass gas.

< Message edited by WhipTheHip -- 10/3/2006 12:41:01 PM >

_____________________________

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 27

RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 1:04:05 PM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

Stef, for the same reason you so frequently pass gas.

That was classy.

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 28

RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 1:09:19 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

Stef, for the same reason you so frequently pass gas.

I pass gas because you're a hypocrite? Who knew!

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 29

RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 1:16:07 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

The people I'm talking about are the ones who feel that being treated like a slave is the only way they can be loved.

Sometimes it's all you know, especially if you equate 'being a slave' as being nothing. Nothing is ever good enough, nothing is ever right, you're always wrong, you're frequently beaten, then you discover 'this' and suddenly it's not 'just' you who is nothing, there's a whole bunch of other 'nothings' out there, too. So, maybe you're still nothing, but at least you are a part of 'something'.. and it's a place to start. Where you choose to go from there is up to you. I chose to get to where I am today and am quite grateful for finding a place to start.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to MissJennifer001)

Post #: 30

RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 1:23:15 PM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

Stef, for the same reason you so frequently pass gas.

I pass gas because you're a hypocrite? Who knew!

~stef

You got that backwards. I'm a hypocrite because you pass gas.

_____________________________

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 31

RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 2:31:55 PM

MissJennifer001

Posts: 39
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

The people I'm talking about are the ones who feel that being treated like a slave is the only way they can be loved.

Sometimes it's all you know, especially if you equate 'being a slave' as being nothing. Nothing is ever good enough, nothing is ever right, you're always wrong, you're frequently beaten, then you discover 'this' and suddenly it's not 'just' you who is nothing, there's a whole bunch of other 'nothings' out there, too. So, maybe you're still nothing, but at least you are a part of 'something'.. and it's a place to start. Where you choose to go from there is up to you. I chose to get to where I am today and am quite grateful for finding a place to start.

Celeste

That was well put, Celeste and a very interesting aspect of the topic. I do hope that others find it a learning experience and grow from it as you seem to have.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 32

RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 6:01:08 PM

SirLordTrainer

Posts: 820
Joined: 5/6/2004
From: Indy
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

Different whips and lashes for different folks. Different
strokes for different folks.

I couldnt give a shit less.. try practicing what you preach

_____________________________

Accepting one's own imperfections eliminates a roadblock to progress.

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 33

RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 6:36:56 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhipTheHip

You got that backwards. I'm a hypocrite because you pass gas.

Umm, ok. I suppose that's the level of logic I should expect from you after your posts to date. Do you always blame your glaring personality flaws on other people? It's not an attractive quality for a prospective Lord Master Domlytop.

In fact, I'd get comfortable labling myself as a "wannabe Dom" (as you call yourself in your profile) for quite some time if I were you because I'm not seeing anyone ever signing up to join your "community" or be your slave. Maybe you should stick to one-handed reading of those Dolcett comics that seem to turn your crank. It seems to be just about your speed and no one will have to suffer the indignity of in-person interaction with you.

I think that's just about the perfect "win-win" situation, don't you?

With love, lashes and endless hugs and kisses,

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to WhipTheHip)

Post #: 34

RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 7:05:29 PM

diamonddreamlove

Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

Wow glad i don't live in your glass house. Mavis where are we meeting and in which tent to sharpen the spears?

_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to MissJennifer001)

Post #: 35

RE: Observations about female subs.... - 10/3/2006 8:24:51 PM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: diamonddreamlove

Wow glad i don't live in your glass house. Mavis where are we meeting and in which tent to sharpen the spears?

i thought maybe the Red tent, but we may not need the added incentive of cramps to spur us on. i'm only wasting my spear if this thread gets to over 10 pages though.
<grins>

(in reply to diamonddreamlove)

Post #: 36

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