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The performance of our lives - 10/2/2006 4:14:34 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		Most threads here don’t start with a list of disclaimers.  This one is going to be a little different.

The post is going to be lengthy.  Please bear with me, and take the time to read it through to the end.

There have been a number of threads lately that have become very divisive on their issues.  Respect; love; control over others as well as self-control; the dilution of what we do in the Lifestyle today vs. how our forebears started; terms, phrases and definitions; what we wear and/or wish we didn’t.  While the dialogue can often be a good thing when there is some sort of progress made, when agreements cannot be made one way or another without resorting to attacks on others, then there might be a problem.

This thread is not directed towards any individual.  This thread is for the lovers and the unloved, those who respect and the disrespected, and all of the various types of people who call ‘kink’ their home using whatever label you do.

The purpose of this thread is to take us back to the basics, to our individual roots.  I think it is important to remember who we are, so we can deal better with others.  I want to do that in a simple, basic manner, and then work forward.

What better way to start in a simple fashion than with a childhood pastime?  Of course, I’m speaking of ……….. shadow puppets.  I’ve put it in my tagline before, and I believe the following to be true:

Shadow puppets are the perfect metaphor for life. 

There was a thread not long ago about what is ‘real’ and not.  Is an image of an apple more beautiful than the apple itself?  This thread is an extension of that, as well.

For those of you who don’t know, or possibly forgot, shadow puppets are those ‘things’ you create on the wall when you put your hands in front of a light bulb, to create shapes such as birds and such.  They are not static; they show movement.

So how is it I find any importance in this?

Unlike going to a movie (cinema), making shadow puppets are a performance.  When you go to a movie, nobody ever stares at the projection booth, because there isn’t really anything there to see.  But the mechanism of creating a shadow puppet can be as interesting as the shadow itself.

If we think that the two things happening here (the ‘action’ and the shadow) are divided by FACT and FANTASY, then, which is which?

The answer is it depends on where your focus lies.  Shadow puppets, like life itself, can be thought of as elegant, graceful, beautiful; but they are also complicated, ugly, difficult.  The only difference is how you view it.

So it is fair to say also that shadow puppets are an example of one or more dualities.  We will see a great deal of this here as well.

Let us apply all of this to US.  Who are we, really?  We think of ourselves as how we identify here (dominant, submissive, top, bottom, slave, etc.), but is that who we really are?

In truth, none of us are that 100% of the time.  Truthfully, if we had to identify as ‘something’ scene-related to describe our entire essence, we would have to call ourselves switches.  We do not go through life dominating everyone we meet.  The closest approximation of that would be a bully, and that person has no place here.  On the other side, nobody submits in every detail of their life.  When you go through the drive-through picking up the fast food, you placed the order and somebody else cooked the food and gave it to you.  If they got it right, then even the most thorough of slaves just got served.  As interesting as it might sound, we do not get to use that nice riding crop on everyone that crosses our path (although there are some that no doubt deserve it); nor is it appropriate to suggest to your boss, without topping from the bottom of course, to gag you because you spoke out of turn at the board meeting.

No, we take that aspect of our life that we speak of ‘here’ (call it a ‘role’ if you like), and we apply that to our primary relationship.  But is it a ‘fact’ that we are really vanilla people who only allow our ‘fantasy’ personage to come out when we are with our mate(s)?  Not necessarily.  The ‘fantasy’ of who we are could be the person going to work every day, and can only be ‘real’ when we finally get home.  Now, I spoke of ‘role’ but that is not to imply role-playing (although it could).  Another appropriate word is ‘persona’.  But if we hearken back to the shadow puppets, that really IS a performance, and the use of the term ‘role’ can be appropriately used.

(Side note:  we make fun of ‘real’ this and ‘real’ that.  We should alter our thinking to believe that those of us we find (or not) ‘real’ are actually ‘authentic’ (or not).  This would lend more credence to our arguments.)

So we ourselves have that duality.  Who we are, and who we are when we can’t be what we want to be.  But we aren’t 100% anything.

But when we are ‘this’ (dom, sub, etc.), and how we got here, it is because of a choice that we made at some point in our lives.  It is quite impossible we were ‘born’ to be, for example, a slave.  Yes, there are those that are raised in Lifestyle homes, but being humans of free will, even as they grow older they must exhibit some responsibility for selecting their own destiny.

And like any choice, we have the ability to choose something else tomorrow.  One of the Dommes amongst us said in a thread not too long ago her only regret is that in her past she never had the opportunity to serve, if only for a year (if I recall).  She went on to say that at this point in her life making that choice now would not be possible.  I’m not going to argue that, but the fact remains that that choice is certainly still available.  Any one of us could bear the appropriate mindset to be something ‘else’ tomorrow.  All we need are our individual motivations. 

You made a choice; do not forget that.  But you can choose again any time you like.  You can also choose not to be in the Lifestyle tomorrow, or to end your current relationship, regardless of your persona in that relationship.  So really, we are all just the same; we just chose our way to be on different sides of the duality.

When we interact with vanilla people, we do not often (if at all) show them ‘this’ side of us.  In other words, we are enacting our own version of shadow puppets, but we are manipulating the situation to ensure that their attention is on the part we want them to see, not the entire picture.  Whether we are showing them the ‘fact’ of us, or a ‘fantasy’ version, is how we view ourselves.  To take it further, whom are we actually ‘performing’ for?  For our partner(s), or everyone else?  The fact remains; unless we make ourselves known, we are not who we seem to be.  We use that to our advantage.

If we are, in fact, the same except for our personal choice, then why are we making such a fuss of basic relationship principles such as respect and love?  I suppose individually we think we either need these, or don’t; and we think that we should give these, or not.  But it cannot possibly have anything to do with the ‘choice’ we made as to who we think we are (today).

There are many necessary dualities in what we do.  Pleasure and pain.  Dom and sub.  The things we say, and the things we choose not to say while doing the first.  Master (or Mistress) and servant/slave.  Right and wrong.  Top and bottom.  Obedience and discipline.  In every single one of these cases you cannot have one without understanding (or having) the perspective of the other.  Fulfillment cannot happen without both.  It requires both to make a whole.

As I close here (I know, I know, you were waiting for the good stuff), please understand that there is no question to resolve here, although please feel free to discuss the merits of what I’ve said here (or expound on some things I might have missed – I fairly well threw this together in an evening).  I do, however, think that the issues I’ve brought here (even using a simplistic tool) are worth our consideration.  We do need to better understand ourselves, and by that same token we do need to understand that when we deal with others, we are trying to grasp what we can ‘see’, not necessarily the reality.  At times we are all performing, at times not.  We pick and choose those times, and our audience might not be able to tell the difference.

Thanks for your time.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.
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RE: The performance of our lives - 10/2/2006 5:31:39 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Well, when I'm in the drive-through, it's not as a dominant expecting to be served, it's as a hungry customer who expects to get what I've paid for and cooked in the manner which I've dictated. It's not a dominant they serve, it's a customer regardless of whatever other relationship I may hold at the same time, that is the relationship I have with that person in that moment. Fleeting and superficial. To me, it's not a BDSM thing or a vanilla thing, it's a food thing.

Same thing in most other life venues. At work, I'm an employee paid to do the job that my employer and I've agreed I should do for a set monetary value. If I mouthed off during a board meeting, no, I would not ask for nor expect a gag, but realistically I could expect to get fired.

I am a slave. Himself is my owner. That holds true whether I am also in line at the bank, bowling with my cronies or sitting in the CPA's office going over taxes. What needs to be known about me is directly related to how much needs to be known. My accountant needs to know about my finanancial health but only needs information related to my medical health as it relates to what's deductible on my taxes. The guy at Denny's who is taking my order only needs to know that I'm hungry, willing to pay for what I want etc. Superficial relationships only require superficial knowledge.

On the other hand, people with whom I am in an intimate relationship need to have more knowledge of me. A lover has the right to know if I have an STD or can get pregnant .. the butcher doesn't need to know that nor does he have the right to know it.

What I do in the outside work-a-day world doesn't effect my core nor change my orientation because, with few exceptions, I'm not interacting with anyone other than Himself on that level.

Good post, Mstrjx.

Celeste







< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 10/2/2006 5:33:05 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: The performance of our lives - 10/2/2006 5:35:50 PM   
swtsouthernsub


Posts: 477
Joined: 12/23/2004
Status: offline 		applauds you well said indeed I often wondered if people  lived this way 24/7 or was it just what  i myself thought everyone potrayed here  i realize some do but alot of us dont some dont even have a sanificant other in there lives and are seeking such but i once stated before people in genral have forgotten to stop and smell the roses along the way or to enjoy the beauty of a garden  and take what they have for granted they spue hate and judgement on others for there beliefs or there no beliefs  one reason i wont discuss religion anywhere is the fact i am a ministers daughter and i was brought up in a way many havent so what was instilled in me hasnt nessassarily been instilled in you i cant say either side is right or wrong  nor will i
people interpret  things in many different ways  judge not less ye be judge is what comes to mind .
kindness and respect  and curtousy is how i was brought up but have become slightly jaded because of such negitivitive  around me and from society  but i do try and continue to be nice kind courtious as well as respectful of others weather there views dont  go with my own views thank you so much for this thread

_____________________________

DEBBIE
Messenger Of Truth
Let the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart,
be acceptable in thy sight O Lord my strength and redeemer
Psalms 19:14

Those with a closed mind live a sheltered life.

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RE: The performance of our lives - 10/2/2006 5:46:30 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		Hello A/all,

Lovely post, mstrjx.  As a student of Taoism, I spend a great deal of my time considering oppositional dualities.  Your comments about shadow puppets as a lovely metaphor for people in a relationship are excellent.  I would want to indicate that the person other people see is often a reflection of who we feel we are inside.  On the other hand, often times it is not, and the person who believes themself to be the next best thing to sliced bread can appear to the rest of the world to be a waste of skin.

One thing that is curious to me about WIITWD is how I identify with my partner.  She posted on another thread that I see myself as a "relationship Dominant" and not necessarily a sadist or top.  Interesting way of looking at it, I suppose.  It just seems to be what happens when I end up being put in a group of people or a dynamic.  I have been told I am extremely convincing, rather charismatic, and very charming, and apparently these are all positive assets for somebody to take charge and run the show.

What worries me is that Ted Bundy had all these traits as well, and look at how well they worked for him.

It was difficult for me to learn how to play the role of a male instructor for the company I work for.  As the classes are taught by women for women, the men in the room must be in a deferential role.  I have been told I am wonderful to work for since I am so accepting of however she wants to run things.  I can paint my stage makeup on, so to speak, and play the assigned role of deferential, not-in-charge, not-giving-out-my-opinion male instructor without ever feeling my tender Dominant ego is being damaged.

Just me, could be wrong, but there you go.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


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RE: The performance of our lives - 10/2/2006 6:01:04 PM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I like this.  It gives lots to think about.

I really like the analogy with the shadow puppets, and have always thought of bd/sm as an aesthetic production in a way similar to what you are getting at with your analogy.  The creative activity of the artist includes a lot of very mundane stuff that is sometimes fascinating and sometimes boring but, whatever the case, different from the work of art, be it painting, poetry, musical performance or whathave you.  The same goes for what happens in the totality of a bd/sm interaction.  There's the preparation and behind the scenes work, then there's the scene itself.  There's little scenes that could potential form a part of an extended chain of scenes.   This take is very different from those oriented solely towards relationships.  You seem to be getting at more than this with your shadow puppet analogy, though.

Over the past couple years, I've increasingly come to rely on the idea of "persona" to understand my shifts between different spaces.  The idea of persona implies a mask, so its not entirely accurate.  Its more like different situations and interactions call out different personalities who co-exist within me.  In our culture, we are used to thinking of the self as a unitary integrated entity but, in my opinion, that doesnt capture the experience of many people who are then pathologized, and considered abnormal.  It certainly doesn't capture my experience because I'm not like the other girls. :)

Anyway, I can move between Top and bottom space, Dom and sub and have done this all my life.  I'm generally submissive, but if I feel threatened or in an out of control situation will move immediately into Top space and seek to assert control.  I am often successful, but I don't like doing it and it doesn't feel right to me.  If given the choice, I find submission much more gratifying.  It simply more my thing.  In the past couple years, I have found a third space which I call neutral space and can maintain this for longer and longer periods.  It is me, at rest. I'm confident my discovery of this space was much facilitated by my explorations with D/s because it gave me the opportunity to experiment and reflect on my experiments.  So, I agree that my self is alot more complex than any label would suggest, but I like the label because it allows me to be what I choose to be, if only for a little while when I'm playing in a fantasy world. :)

Anyway, you thanks for the opportunity to think more about this sort of stuff.


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RE: The performance of our lives - 10/2/2006 6:42:54 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP good post and accurate...and to Bita good response and accurate..Thank you both for what is to me a common sense way of looking at it all.To basically encompass the whole.....Tempting

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RE: The performance of our lives - 10/2/2006 8:13:08 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		FR

Great idea about the shadow puppets, Plato did that a few thousand years ago also.   If you haven't read "The Republic" you really should.  It's necessary reading for anyone interested in either philosophy and/or social dynamics.

Secondly, I WAS born to my orientation.  I simply have always been polyamorous and bisexual.  It's not something that gets turned on and off.

I simply do not EXPRESS it in all actions- my orientation has nothing to do with actions, but my innate desires and preferences.

I make a choice in who I get into a relationship with, NOT what I'm attracted to.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: The performance of our lives - 10/3/2006 12:45:10 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		WHO THE HELL THOUGHT UP THIS MESS???? (Oh.)

I really do dislike moderating my own threads, but I have to admit that I'm pretty moved by your responses so far.  I thank you all for that and I wanted you to know that.

Thanks again,
Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: The performance of our lives - 10/3/2006 1:33:08 AM   
OhReallyNow


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

I think it is important to remember who we are, so we can deal better with others. 

this slave knows who she is; she remember's where she came from, and how she got to this point in life. Furthermore, this slave has never had a problem with dealing with others.
quote:

  We think of ourselves as how we identify here (dominant, submissive, top, bottom, slave, etc.), but is that who we really are?


this slave does not use how she identifies HERE as a means of defining who she is. This is but a small part of this slave's life.
She is woman; she is a mother; she is a hospice nurse; she is property. However, each of these defines who this slave is, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
quote:

  In truth, none of us are that 100% of the time. 

this slave disagrees with you here.
This slave is a woman 100% of the time; she is a mother 100% of the time;  she is a caregiver 100%, whether at the hospital or not; and she is a slave 100% of the time, whether in the presence of Master or not.
 
This slave does not turn any of these off and on and will; they are constant and ever present.

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

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RE: The performance of our lives - 10/3/2006 6:41:54 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I appreciate the response, but the logic is not being seen in this instance.

It as appropriate to feel that we are many things.  Behaviorally, however, it is difficult to accomplish all of those things all of the time.

One of the unspoken, but heavily implied, dualities here, is that of the subject and the viewer.

As I stated in the original OP. regardless of how we see ourselves, the viewer cannot articulate more about us than what they see, which is not your entire essence.

In truth, to any given viewer, you are 100% of 'you' only to those people who have access to the knowledge of 'you'.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

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RE: The performance of our lives - 10/3/2006 6:55:26 AM   
deltadawn


Posts: 224
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline 		Jeff,

Thank you for this excellant post.

Though I am my Master's slave, I am also his wife, the mother of his unmentionables, his friend, lover, and sometimes pain in the butt.  To my friends, I am usually the serious one who worries too much about their lives.  To my parents, I am always their baby girl (even at my age...lol).  At work I am the bosses wife..now that is my hardest role! 

Through all of my "selves" I am a happy, well rounded person.  Life could not get better!

dawn

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RE: The performance of our lives - 10/3/2006 7:12:32 AM   
Bearlee


Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline 		Jeff, I’m not sure I understood your puppet analogy because it seemed like play-acting to me.  While I do believe we create our own reality, I don’t think what we do IS play-acting.  Those puppets make me think of the man behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz.  I dunno; I probably have it all wrong.
 
I think that we are extremely complex creatures who are all of what we are, all the time; but there is fluidity to what we are expressing at any given time.  I don’t think we are creating fantasy when we do not express ourselves the same way all the time; but nor do I think we can express every facet of ourselves all the time.  We are so complex that we rise to the occasion with an aspect of ourselves that works for that occasion.  But…it’s still who we are and not roll-playing…to me.
 
I liked your word ‘authentic’… but I don’t think its duality or roll-playing when we don’t show certain aspects of ourselves in particular circumstances.  Perhaps it is like a lion lounging under a tree in the sun; does it make her less a hunter when she is not hunting?
…or roll-playing at not being a hunter?  I see the big cat as a hunter 100% of the time. 
 
Ha, I wonder if we’re not just confusing nouns and verbs?  I think that we are what we are, regardless if we are actively participating in what we do.
 
The choice you discussed regarding BDSM, is of course a choice; because BDSM is an activity.  I don’t think people generally choose to be dominant or submissive; they just are.  Yes, there is choice in how one expresses that personality type and one way is with a BDSM lifestyle.
 
So yes, I agree there is always choice in how one chooses to behave.  I also happen to believe nobody is 100% anything.  Not 100% straight or 100% dominant; we’re just too complex.  For that reason, it’s possible (to me) that as a person grows/develops/ages/ one might decide to move one way left or right of where they were in some regard.  But I still can’t see that that is faking or roll-playing.
 
Anyway, those are my thoughts.  And I liked your topic and the responses its engendering.  Not sure I understood all of it; but enjoyed that they all made me think. 
 
beverly

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RE: The performance of our lives - 10/3/2006 9:54:07 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Dualities, archetypes, oppositional relationships... well it sounds like my formatting for my novel I have been working on (not so much lately...smiles)

Seriously, I have been mulling over these things in relation to WIITWD... is it an opposite or a continuum? Daddy and I have talked about these things since before we even met. It is a pet discussion of mine in fact, so much so I tend to save it for verbal discourse in that it is something that I prefer to engage in one on one.

Personally I try not to live a label of submissive or daughter, or mother, or girlfriend, or female. I am who I am, I am all these things, yet none of them are truly me. No one is their label 100 percent of the time.

Dualities define each other, without one we would not have the other. I think many people forget this.. without evil there would be no good, without white there would be no black. Without dominance there would be no submission

In fiction we develop archetypes within characters or objects in order to encapsulate and define them. I think about LOTRs and the ring that seemingly carried the weight of all the evil and avarice in the world within it. I think this is why such stories hold such interest for human beings.. because rarely are we so cut and dried and easy to define. We are contradictions along a continuum perhaps?

I love Jung for this reason, also, I am finding myself embracing Taoism as I grow older and have less answers about the world I live in... it sucks to get older and less certain about anything... and to think I used to know it all

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: The performance of our lives - 10/3/2006 10:39:10 AM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		Jeff,
 
Allow me to ramble: *smile
 
It is the yin/yang thang that sums it up for me.  i enjoyed reading your thoughts on dualities.  As for shadows, photography is my hobby, and after each of my series, my shadow is my signature for each group of photos.  Whether it be my shadow over the shells on the beach, or on the wall atop a mural, my shadow represents my alter image and hidden essence of self in my photos.  So of course i enjoyed your analogy and /or metaphorical applications with shadow puppets.
 
i am one (to the dismay of some who don't believe-lol)  that has been simply born with these certain tastes, maso tendencies, and a mindset for M/s, and it has always been my nature since babe-hood.  It has been a natural progression as i matured. i never made a distinction, based on sexual preferences, it just never occured to me, UNTIL i was introduced into the M/s leather way of living where others DID feel it necessary to make a distinction. They felt to single themselves out as different, unique and special.  All of my life since meeting them, i just avoided that whole way of thinking, for i found it to be less than healthy for myself to feel that i should lift myself up and separate myself from society or from the world, because  i am unique and special because of my sexual preferences.  i don't believe that different ways of intimate expression change the nature of the person i am, elevate me, or lower me as an individual, or affect my line of integrity, what i am most passionate about, my causes i believe in, or my value and self worth, or the way i love myself. Or, the way i love and accept others for the people they are.
 
i do not identify or define my identity by the way i interact in my relationships with others as a person. i attract those to my being because of the person i am, i never needed a lifestyle membership to do that.  i am here because now that i know about the lifestyle, i find there are areas that interest me.  Nothing more than that.  i have met many a man who have known nothing about the lifestyle, and yet, have displayed all the attributes of a potential lifestyle Master with all the props of the label attached.  In turn i have met many a woman who could be slaves in the making all natural.  i have met many a dominant woman who if chose to embrace the lifestyle would be hell on wheels, in a good way. LOL!  My ex was a latent sub male, i have no doubt now. *grin  i believe that for some folks this is and can be simply a natural part of their inherant and intrinsic nature that they were simply born with.  That is how i see it for myself.
 
i believe in dualities to the extent that in each individual there are both dom and sub tendencies, and that it is perfectly okay to have them.  All this labelling and separating and categorizing makes me feel like i am in an experiment, and when the whole is broken down and dissected to its minutia, what is the desired outcome supposed to look like anyway?  We are simply people with diverse interests who come from diverse environments, who are looking to find fulfillment with others who are like minded.  Nothing more or less.  This lifestyle lately for me has become dishearteneing with all those folks out there who take the words and definitions of others, and try to *fit* themselves neatly into someone elses fantasy definitions and desires like sort of a package deal.  The problem arises when they don't know what to do with the remaining extra parts that don't neatly fit.  There are many who have become disconnected and confused within themselves due to this process.  Anyway just my opinion and thought, not speaking for or against anyone, just a rambling response. *smile

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RE: The performance of our lives - 10/3/2006 12:07:37 PM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline 		I am Me 100% of the time.

I am also many things a "Wife",Lover,Mother,Sister,Aunt,Grandaughter...
Each of those things requires a certain "puppet"(if you will),but all the puppets are Me being Me at the core of who I am.  Does that make sense?

Instead of puppets I have referred to it as the Many Faces of Shelly,not to mean I am two faced but that different situations call for different parts of Me at certain times.I act accordingly but always with that flair that is who I am.



_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

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RE: The performance of our lives - 10/3/2006 1:32:55 PM   
LordODiscipline


Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

Great idea about the shadow puppets, Plato did that a few thousand years ago also.   If you haven't read "The Republic" you really should.  It's necessary reading for anyone interested in either philosophy and/or social dynamics.

 
Yes - the allusion of "The Cave" - excellent prose and pose... sincerely - you should read that short story - it is exactly what I had in mind as well when I was reading this...
 
What is real and what is simply not.
 
~J

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: The performance of our lives - 10/3/2006 1:44:10 PM   
LordODiscipline


Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I appreciate the response, but the logic is not being seen in this instance.

It as appropriate to feel that we are many things.  Behaviorally, however, it is difficult to accomplish all of those things all of the time.


Although I appreciate the thoughts involved... even when we consider the many aspects of our "self" - we have to remember that they all comprise the 'one' - and, so despite our consideration that "we are not <insert facet of our personallity here> all of the time" - we are "ourself" all of the time...
 
So the elements that comprise the many are always present and manifest when required in any instance... we are not something *NOW* and not that *NOW*... it is all a melding and we utilize what we require as it becomes required.
 
I tend to think of myself as one person with many aspects that is a unique yet solitary being -rather than one of many (we need a Joke here about Star Trek and those aliens flying about in cubes).
 
The -
The secondary duality of belief in who we are by others is (of course)
 
that
 
We are not anyone but ourself (Let's call ourself "X") -
 
but, people see us as X1 or X2 or X3 or X4...
 
They think that because they see us at work, at play, with our significant other, with our insignificacnt other, etc... that we are "that person (X2) whom they see at those moments rather tna a person who they have little understanding of and knowledge of in reality... and, if you were to ask people about "me" (you, her, him etc) they would tell you with certain assurity that "X is exactly like <THIS> - no doubt about it at all"
 
("He could not be a mass murderer - he was such a sweet person to the animals in the neighborhood")

This phenomenon of understanding others might best be seen as the parable of the elephant and the three blind men - if you know the story... "X" being the elephant and the belief of the blind men being X1, X2, X3, etc.
 
Just a few thoughts.
 
~J

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The performance of our lives - 10/3/2006 2:09:16 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline 		Hello mstrjx,

I read and enjoyed your post.

I'm not 100% anything. I might be a Mama but I DO switch off from that. I project what I feel I have to sometimes and can contort myself deliberately, too, at others.

Nothing I project ISN'T me, but it's what I want, or feel comfortable choosing, to magnify at any given time. It doesn't always seem like a choice but I know it is. The degree of effort it takes influences how easy it is.

Being a slave is, absolutely, a choice............it's not something I was *born to be* nor is it an intrinsic part of me. It's a role in a hierarchal relationship that I asked for. If I had to live without my Master for any reason, I wouldn't pine for that role, or seek to have the same role with someone else,.........I'd pine for *him*.

As there are so many contradictions about me ( and probably most people,...not sure there) as I get older I tend to say less and less.......I'm probably lazy........but unless someone seems able to understand that I'm everything and nothing like I appear, then I make little effort.

....My 14 yr old wrote this today...

**I open the wardrobe and take out my collection of masks. I put one on. Meanwhile, the familiar thoughts plague me. Why must I do this every day? Why can't I show my face? What does it even look like? I sigh and make a final adjustment. It's showtime.**

.....and  he wrote it from the angle of knowing he does it and knowing that he chooses to.

I never say * What you see is what you get*........because it really isn't the case, at least, for me.

agirl












(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: The performance of our lives - 10/3/2006 2:45:00 PM   
LordODiscipline


Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

**I open the wardrobe and take out my collection of masks. I put one on. Meanwhile, the familiar thoughts plague me. Why must I do this every day? Why can't I show my face? What does it even look like? I sigh and make a final adjustment. It's showtime.**


Very Nice -
 
Now go buy your child a copy of Billy Joel's "The Stranger" and put on the movie "All that Jazz" ;)
 
They will probably appreciate it
 
~J

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
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