RE: Is this asking too much?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Is this asking too much?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Is this asking too much?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 5:57:32 AM

zenfull2

Posts: 62
Joined: 12/4/2005
Status: offline

A lot of it would depend on the questions and some of it would depend on how I am feeling at the time of being asked.

_____________________________

"I aim to misbehave!" -Serenity

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 6:00:16 AM

pleazuredpain

Posts: 29
Joined: 9/27/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiningGem

So my question is............if You were interested in a sub/slave/switch.......and were asked to answer some questions(ok there are 22)..........or are a sub/slave/switch and the Dom/me asked you to fill one out.......would Y/you?

Just wondering if I am way off base here.

gemmie

No, I would probably not answer them. I would however answer questions in a conversing method. Here by email, locally over a cup of coffee or dinner. The questionaire would make me feel that we were discussing some 'sterile' procedure and not the chance of a relationship. But that is only my take.

_____________________________

"You're going to do WHAT!!!!!!!!!"

(in reply to ShiningGem)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 6:12:11 AM

SweetSarijane

Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline

It's doubtful I would answer the questionnere. If a person can't take the time to talk with me and get to know me as a person, then honestly they are not worth my time.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to pleazuredpain)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 6:54:55 AM

MasterRobert1

Posts: 225
Joined: 7/18/2005
Status: offline

I'd have no problem answering questions. If I did refuse to answer questions, that would put me in the catagory of being a hypocrit, because I ask a LOT of questions. Trust is the very keystone of a BDSM D/s relationship. And trust is built on knowledge. If I'm not wqilling to answer questions, then I shouldn't expect someone to answer the questions I will most certainly be asking at some point.

(in reply to zenfull2)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 6:58:37 AM

Aubre

Posts: 478
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline

Do you like me? check yes _____ or no ______

(in reply to MasterRobert1)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 7:34:06 AM

tcl0712

Posts: 113
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline

Personally, i would feel more comfortable answering questions back and forth. Feeling out a questionaire would be a little awkward for me.

_____________________________

tina

(in reply to Aubre)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 8:05:27 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

I'd be much more inclined to do it if the sub/slave shared their answers by sending them along with the blank from. I ask that my questionnaire be filled out when someone is interested in my household. I send answers AFTER they give me theirs. I suppose that means that I expect the sub/slave to make the first step towards establishing trust. That wouldn't change is the sub/slave was asking questions of me.

Of course, what you could do is simply ask one question per email. If they get through all 22 questions (meaning they've kept up communication for 22 emails), that's a decent start to something that might be worth pursuing.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to ShiningGem)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 8:15:24 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

In theory I think what you are asking for is fine with the catch all many have said and that depends on the questions. Though in reality if one of the very first things I got sent to me was a form of many generic questions to answer my reaction could very well be that I do not want to be treated like a job aplicant and that would come off as way too impersonal too soon. Are you helping your cause in getting rid of the "fakes" sure, but are you also eliminating possible matches as well?

Personally I think it would be better if you ask these questions over a series of messages. Actually I am a huge believer in asking questions for weeding out people, getting to know people and keeping the communication going. Too many people write such close ended messages that it is like getting your teeth pulled to talk to them.

Lin

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 8:17:24 AM

jesskitty

Posts: 185
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline

if you truly are interested in someone, and know how men or women or both act on here at times, i think it wouldn't be a problem! lots of times when i explain i don't give my im out to random people or why i do or act a certain way relating it to the nasties on this site i will get a response such as i'm sorry for doing that i won't do it again and then when i try to respond i'm blocked by the user..i think yours is pretty much doing the same thing, these people i think have the mindset of a child, they want it and they want it now and not have to worry about real life complications or getting to know someone..so i think it's weeding out the people you want to weed out. i say keep it!

(in reply to ShiningGem)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 8:22:05 AM

Frank01

Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline

Just how much transparency do you expect in a first exchange?

(in reply to jesskitty)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 9:29:39 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

FR

I find questionairres useful on a second date as a way to get to know EACHOTHER and have fun going through lists and sharing experiences. I don't find them useful in the way that you are using them and I wouldn't be interested in someone who wanted me to fill it out after just chatting once.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Frank01)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 9:33:16 AM

thisishis

Posts: 278
Joined: 5/11/2006
From: Southeastern MA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiningGem
So my question is............if You were interested in a sub/slave/switch.......and were asked to answer some questions(ok there are 22)..........or are a sub/slave/switch and the Dom/me asked you to fill one out.......would Y/you?

i'd have no issue with answering any number of questions of any type* in the form of a questionaire as long as they have no issue with returning the favor, and agree that it should only be used as a spring board of types to determine whether enough compatability exists to lead us on to the deeper waters of communicating in person and sans questionaires.

*barring credit card info, where i hide the spare car/house keys, passwords to any of my online stuff, .... things of that nature..... etc ect ect

_____________________________

Sincerely, his

How I'm kept busy these days: http://modelmayhem.com/member.php?id=368120

(in reply to ShiningGem)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 10:05:54 AM

Amaros

Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

I do hate personality tests, and consider them to be grossly and crudely misleading at best, but sure, why not? I'll play your silly game, it's not like I'm gonna get pigeonholed, right?

It's actually not a bad idea, I would tend to see it as an icebreaker of sorts, i.e., not precluding further conversation, that's just silly. And you might be able to get any major dealbreakers out of the way at the same time.

They are typcially crude things though, I'll check your out when I get a chance.

There's a dating community called OKcupid, where you can write your own tests, kinda cool.

< Message edited by Amaros -- 9/28/2006 10:09:45 AM >

(in reply to thisishis)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 10:12:18 AM

OhReallyNow

Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiningGem

So I decided (with the help of my sub) to send a questionairre out to Those who semed interested,and asked that it be filled out to not only provide us with information about them but also as a safety precaution...............to help weed out the fakes and sexaholics...........

The responses have been less than flattering........a few said They wouldnt fill them out because it was demeaning.........I was even told that doing so showed I didnt trust them(well duh I don't know You).........and One was so kind as to tell me it was a waste of time because I apparently wasn't slave material for Him(well gee my profile does state that) .

So my question is............if You were interested in a sub/slave/switch.......and were asked to answer some questions(ok there are 22)..........or are a sub/slave/switch and the Dom/me asked you to fill one out.......would Y/you?

Just wondering if I am way off base here.

gemmie

in the first weeks that this slave first started corresponding with Master, our conversation could have been seen as a form of 'question and answer' session to determine if what we both wanted and were looking for COULD be found in the other.

Granted, if Master had just out of the blue,sent to this slave a questionaire, she most probably would have just deleted it and never given it another thought.

So, to answer your question directly, NO, this slave would not have filled it out.

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to ShiningGem)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 12:34:41 PM

Amaros

Posts: 1363
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline

Oops!

< Message edited by Amaros -- 9/28/2006 12:36:02 PM >

(in reply to OhReallyNow)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 1:02:45 PM

cheekysmile

Posts: 44
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline

if i was given a questionair to fill out id do so, and if by chance id find a question i felt too personal at that time id say so on the reply and ask to come back to that at a later date when id feel more comfortable with it.....but in all id do all this respectfully, hopeing id be pleaseing in the persons eye.

does that help??

cheeky

(in reply to Amaros)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 1:16:35 PM

ShiningGem

Posts: 6
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline

I am honestly greateful for all the replies...........and I have tohught about breaking them down into a series of questions.........I dont hand it to just anyone who contacts me (unless they ask for it as I did post I have one in my journal)...........this is something that would be asked for further clarification after talking several times..........

I have been asked to fill out more in depth "limits" lists......so to me this is basically the same thing.

Thanks to everyone who has replied.........

(in reply to cheekysmile)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 2:19:43 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

FR

I find questionairres useful on a second date as a way to get to know EACHOTHER and have fun going through lists and sharing experiences. I don't find them useful in the way that you are using them and I wouldn't be interested in someone who wanted me to fill it out after just chatting once.

I remember as a novice going through such a list with my former dominant, and it was the first time I had ever even heard of some of these things... he was asking me "Is this really a limit?" Or saying "I do not understand why that is a limit, will you explain?" and finally he said "If you are going to control the scene through limits that is negating any future D/s dynamic we can build" (I do not agreee with him by the way)

So when it was all done, I got really whiney and really defensive and he asked me what what wrong. Mind you we had not scened yet...and I replied "Are you going to cut me, burn me, beat me, and abrade me all on the first date or what?" He laughed so hard.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 2:26:54 PM

ToGiveDivine

Posts: 650
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

... like getting your teeth pulled ....

Lin

I've never seen a checkbox for that particular fetish either :-D

(in reply to toservez)

Profile

Post #: 39

RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 2:32:45 PM

WhyteRavenne

Posts: 125
Joined: 9/16/2006
Status: offline

Maybe breaking it down to a few questions at a time.. make it more personal, might help.

_____________________________

Last night, you were, unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me.... do it again! - Morticia Addams

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)

Profile

Post #: 40