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Is this asking too much? - 9/27/2006 10:15:50 PM   
ShiningGem


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		So I decided (with the help of my sub) to send a questionairre out to Those who semed interested,and asked that it be filled out to not only provide us with information about them but also as a safety precaution...............to help weed out the fakes and sexaholics...........
 
The responses have been less than flattering........a few said They wouldnt fill them out because it was demeaning.........I was even told that doing so showed I didnt trust them(well duh I don't know You).........and One was so kind as to tell me it was a waste of time because I apparently wasn't slave material for Him(well gee my profile does state that) .
 
So my question is............if You were interested in a sub/slave/switch.......and were asked to answer some questions(ok there are 22)..........or are a sub/slave/switch and the Dom/me asked you to fill one out.......would Y/you?
 
 
Just wondering if I am way off base here.
 
     gemmie
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/27/2006 10:20:43 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiningGem

So my question is............if You were interested in a sub/slave/switch.......and were asked to answer some questions(ok there are 22)...........would Y/you?



No, (certainly not 22 questions. lol) I prefer things more free-formed. But that's just me.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to ShiningGem)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/27/2006 10:26:59 PM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		It would depend on the questions. If you were asking me my bank account numbers, no, probably not. However, no I don't think its unreasonable to answer a couple questions. I give newbie submissives a 7 page survey to fill out and use as a starting point for negotiations. When I'm with someone more experienced, I tend to let things be a little less formal, and let those points come up naturally in conversation.

Seriously though, it depends on the questions within the survey.

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to Misstoyou)
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RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/27/2006 10:27:51 PM   
DomKen


Posts: 19457
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		A lot would depend on the questions and how well I knew that person already.

For instance I'm not about to share identifying information with anyone until I'm fairly confident they're not flakes or nutjobs.

Also 22 questions could take hours to answer so it would matter a lot how close a match I thought I was with the person and how they asked.

(in reply to Misstoyou)
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RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/27/2006 10:29:33 PM   
ShiningGem


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		The questions are along the lines of.......How long in the lifestyle.......have Youe ver colalred anyone..how long ago.are You still friends with them.....................what is Your preferred form of punishment etc

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/27/2006 10:31:03 PM   
shadevarr


Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline 		I do not see it as too much, then again I tend to use conversation to filter out all the subbies who can't take a decent beating nor degredation.

(in reply to DomKen)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/27/2006 10:31:52 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		your questionnaire is working perfectly, it is designed to separatethe chaff from the wheat....and it looks like that it is exactly what it is doing

< Message edited by crouchingtigress -- 9/27/2006 10:36:42 PM >

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to DomKen)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/27/2006 10:32:55 PM   
innatedesire


Posts: 111
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline 		For me no I would not fill out a "form", to me that feels way to impersonal and lacks any genuine interest and is just like those that have a "generic" response that they cut and paste in response to a profile. If you come across a profile that interests you is it really so hard to take a few moments to write a genuine response? If you were out in a social setting would you hand someone a questionnarie to fill out?
I believe that what you put out is what you get back, if you don't make the effort why should the other person? I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt when it comes to trust untill proven otherwise and still maintain common sense. I wish you the best in your seach as we know it can be daunting but IMHO you might try a different  approach.

(in reply to ShiningGem)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/27/2006 10:34:28 PM   
ShiningGem


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		Oh definately.....it works...........and  I know 22 is a lot of questions but some require little time to answer,and I dont expect it back in 5 minutes..........lol.
 
And honestly it doesnt ask for age rank and serial number......it was compiled from questions newbies should pose before any meeting for the first time........I may not be a newbie,but I figured it couldnt hurt.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
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RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/27/2006 10:34:28 PM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		Its generally seen as bad form to ask about past relationships on the first date. And as this is BEFORE the first date.. well... my opinion is questions like "how long have you been in the lifestyle" or "what is your preferred method of punishment" are ok, you might want to save questions that are too personal, like "are you still friends" until you know them a bit better.

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to shadevarr)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/27/2006 10:34:40 PM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		I'd probably not be terribly interested in doing that unless of course I was terribly interested in the person who sent it.  I've learned though that, for me, it's best to not invest a lot of time until/unless I know the other person is serious and has a sincere interest.  I've previously been asked by Dominants who contact me or who I contact, to write about myself and/or why I am submissive and/or about my fantasies (I suspect for purposes of compatibility), all of which I took the time to do only to never to hear back from the person.  So now, during the 'get-to-know-you' phase, I only put in the time that the Dominant is willing to put in with the thought that there will always be time for detailed essays, journals, etc. after we get past initial conversations and we both know it is something we wish to pursue further.    

_____________________________

"...we must learn, each one of us, that the world was not made for us, and that, however beautiful may be the things we crave, Fate may nevertheless forbid them."
-Bertrand Russell

Mainstream...The New Alternative

*Beware of dog*

(in reply to ShiningGem)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/27/2006 10:37:25 PM   
BrutalAntipathy


Posts: 412
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline 		I get annoyed when potentials do not ask me questions.

(in reply to innatedesire)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/27/2006 10:42:59 PM   
ShiningGem


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		I have thought about breaking it down into a few sections just to lessen the amount .......maybe organize it into sections according to what I either dont know already about Them or what pertains to each situation.
 
It doesnt get sent out to someone just messaging me..........it usually gets sent after a few discussions...............
 

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 12:00:18 AM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline 		I probably would not mind answering 22 questions in writing if a person had spent some time getting to know Me first, I was STRONGLY interested in them and felt there was potential for a relationship developing.  However, if a submissive applied to Me, then asked Me right away to fill something like that out, frankly, I'd blow him off.  I cannot even keep up with the e-mail I receive as it is, let alone filling out questionnaires. 
 
What I would really prefer is that he just ask Me the questions directly, without them being in a questionnaire format.  I will honestly answer any question put to Me by a potentail submissive to the best of My ability.
 
At one time, I had a 23-question form I sent out to potential submissive, but I have gotten away from that.  Now what I do is just ask them the same questions when W/we meet in person or talk on the phone.  I will still refer to that list to make sure I have covered everything I need to know, but no longer send it out in questionnaire format.  For Me, I have found that a free-flowing dialogue works better than a questionnaire, but that's just Me.
 
I don't think your request to have them fill out the questionnaire is unreasonable, since you spend a little time getting to know them first.
 
Lady Topaz

(in reply to ShiningGem)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 1:07:40 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiningGem

So I decided (with the help of my sub) to send a questionairre out to Those who semed interested,and asked that it be filled out to not only provide us with information about them but also as a safety precaution...............to help weed out the fakes and sexaholics...........
 


I don't see anything wrong with sending it out if that's what you want to do. I'm not so sure it's going to actually help you weed out fakes because some very 'real' people might not want to do that sort of thing because they can't write well or they prefer to give information in person.. oh, all sorts of reasons up to and including just plain old fashioned lying.

When I ask someone a question, I tend to want their 'off the top of the head' answer, not the answer they come up with after being allowed to sit and ponder about it for long periods of time. I think that's why I prefer to meet quickly and not do a lot of emailing back and forth. The old saying goes, a picture is worth 1000 words. Well, a single touch is worth a 1000 pictures in my world. ;)

Does my touch make you tremble? Can you look into my eyes or do you glance away afraid of what you see in them? Do you speak with confidence, courtsey, fear? Those are much easier to answer when I'm sitting across from a bottom and having a casual conversation rather than prolonged email contact. I want to 'feel' the energy, not read about it. ;)

YMMV

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to ShiningGem)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 2:33:16 AM   
MasterC46910


Posts: 108
Joined: 4/17/2006
Status: offline 		I personally would not answer a 22 question form.  Especially just after or at first contact.  I may answer a few questions, just in a getting to know you type thing but I am not filling out an application.  

I also keep my pass relationships private.  What happened between pass partners and me are between me and them.  Without their approval it will stay between them and me. 

I can see your intent and belief for your questionnaire, but personally do not see it working all that well.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 3:06:41 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I have to admit that I doubt if I would answer a 22 question form.  I, too, prefer answering questions in person and only after we both know that we are interested.  I think I'd find a form somewhat artificial, but it would depend upon what was asked.

(in reply to ShiningGem)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 3:16:25 AM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		I'd say thanks but no thanks and decide that anyone who can't ask a question when an opening in the discussion arose, and remember the answer, is someone I wasn't interested in. The other thing, and more important is that your questionaire is solely interested in their kinks. Or do you really ask if they sleep with the window open or closed, morning or night person, like or dislike mini-golf or roller coasters.

What your questions say to me is that you aren't interested in having me for a friend. Because the only things you ask about are things you want in a convenient warm body. And what I extrapolate from this is that when I need a friend, not a playmate, fuck buddy, one night stand, you won't be there. Now this may not be true, but it is what comes across from that cold a list that focuses solely on play stuff.

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 5:46:59 AM   
AnAtlantaDom


Posts: 98
Joined: 7/13/2006
Status: offline 		Maybe that sub in FL who had to have emergency surgery the other day should have sent a questionnaire!!

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Is this asking too much? - 9/28/2006 5:52:53 AM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiningGem

The questions are along the lines of.......How long in the lifestyle.......have Youe ver colalred anyone..how long ago.are You still friends with them.....................what is Your preferred form of punishment etc


I am sorry.. but to me this is just freaking lazy. You dont want to take the time to get to know someone... you just want them to lay themselves bare to you so you can say yes no or maybe.

Would I answer a "questionaire" from someone.. NO..and that is exactly why..I am not looking for someone so lacking in social skills that they reduce communication down to simple "filling out a form"

(in reply to ShiningGem)
Profile   Post #: 20
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