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Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 2:59:16 PM   
guywithcutebutt


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline 		I have been on this site for a year or so now, and have met some fairly nice people.  I have however encountered others (primarily dommes as I am a sub) that are completely clueless and out to lunch. 

While I understand that D's means something different to everyone, I have found that many dommes that are seeking a sub to 'completely' serve them (and only their needs) are wishful thinking.  D's- as are all relationships, is give and take.   Now, I don't doubt you'll get some wankers on here, that will promise you their first born for some kinky chat/correspondence, but how many of these people will actually meet someone (this frustration becomes evident when you read domme profiles).  Those who promises the bull, usually give you the horns I suppose. 

But let's be serious.   We live in a real world today-- people have jobs, lives, families and priorities.  While I can't speak for all subs, I am real and it simply wouldn't be even a remote possibility to meet someone and completely (without question) serve them without having regard for my own needs/life.

I don't really mean to be critical, but am hoping to perhaps enlighten a few who may really wish to win the heart and mind of a sub.  If you're really interested in finding a good sub-- as like all relationships, both parties have to put their time in and take a genuine interest in learning about one another and their likes and dislikes.  The general misnomer with all of this is that just because two people are into D's, doesn't necessarily mean they'll be a fit/match. 

One particular domme I met was a wonderful older (large) woman.   By most standards she was considered overweight and un-attractive, but her kindess and willingness to understand her subs needs (as well as relaying her own) made her (to me) the most wonderful women in the world. Case and point, she never had to ask for submission, service or obedience, it was a given.  She was firm but never rude, she took but was not greedy, she had wants but was not presumptuous.  It was only thru the free flow of ideas (of both parties) was I able to achieve such spiritual growth. 

Just wanted to share that. 

M
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 3:40:27 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		Very beautiful.  Thanks for sharing that :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to guywithcutebutt)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 3:55:00 PM   
Steelriven


Posts: 300
Joined: 12/26/2005
Status: offline 		Yes, thank you! *applauds*

_____________________________

steelriven who's just a lil_twisted

-Don't asume, instead ask.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 4:30:16 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: guywithcutebutt

Those who promises the bull, usually give you the horns I suppose. 




I love that, also known as "if it sounds too good to be true it usually is". If I were a domme with 100s of supplicants vying for my attention I would rather have one sincere and honest person respond to me with reasonable needs and desires like you seem to have then 100s of "yes men" that are only in it for the kink and promised the service just to get it. I enjoyed your post.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to guywithcutebutt)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 4:55:05 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		hey guy with a cute butt, nice post, dont be such a stranger from now on, ok?
 

 
 

_____________________________


Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 6:22:58 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		It's nice to hear from subs who think along these line...ok, so mostly I think that 'cause you think like me. And, after all, this IS the Universe According to Master Fire, right? 

Keep posting...we have a wealth of really great subs and slave who post in the forums...but there's ALWAYS room for one more.

Master Fire



_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to guywithcutebutt)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 6:39:19 PM   
angelwingrazor


Posts: 26
Joined: 8/10/2006
Status: offline 		Sound advice there. Totally agree with the post.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 7:10:23 PM   
Kahri


Posts: 70
Joined: 8/30/2006
Status: offline 		I agree that is all very true, and only disagree that it is addressed only to Dommes.  Everyone - Dom, Domme, sub, slave, bottom, etc. needs to keep that in mind.

(in reply to angelwingrazor)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 7:12:20 PM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		I agree! Sometimes people (newbie subs) tend to look at me kinda funny because I insist on open and honest communication with my submissives. It's nice to know there are other people out there who think the same.

Also, congratulations on finding someone special!

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to angelwingrazor)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 7:15:52 PM   
corsetgirl


Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		Now, that is what I call the real definition of power exchange - Bravo!  You give us domless subs hope and encouragement.

< Message edited by corsetgirl -- 9/20/2006 7:16:19 PM >

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 7:21:17 PM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you so much for sharing this experience. You sound very "grounded" and seem to have an understanding of what is needed to make a real life D/s relationship flourish and survive.  i agree that many have unrealistic expecations of what should be expected and it can get quite lopsided.  Over time if needs aren't being met, even if the sub stays, it's going to be at a cost.  It's nice to read an intelligent post that addresses this problem so eloquently!

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to Lorelei115)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 7:32:21 PM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Bravo ... Though We are not seeking a sub.  I have preferred when We had one that they be well mannered as We are and reasonably intelligent.  We have always seen to a sub/slaves needs and desires through communication and give and take.  I have to agree as well and add one thing ... it really gets me when a slave states they have no hard limits ... everyone has them.  Or saying they will do anything.  And what is with the willing to relocate from TimBuckTwo ?? *lol* ... ah well, here we go around again.

Anyways ... Bravo.



_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Get "real?" - 9/20/2006 8:24:28 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: guywithcutebutt

But let's be serious. We live in a real world today-- people have jobs, lives, families and priorities. While I can't speak for all subs, I am real and it simply wouldn't be even a remote possibility to meet someone and completely (without question) serve them without having regard for my own needs/life.


I am lost for words over the mild insinuation of non-reality in what I know and love when juxtaposed against this "real world" I obviously have yet to consider.

In the shadow of this unveiling, words of another come to mind, and since you have been so generous in sharing, I feel it is only right to reciprocate, in turn: "Why not" is a slogan for an interesting life.





< Message edited by amayos -- 9/20/2006 8:38:16 PM >

(in reply to guywithcutebutt)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 8:38:11 PM   
WhyteRavenne


Posts: 125
Joined: 9/16/2006
Status: offline 		I'm going to say this: (since the chance of me shutting the Hel up is impossible), I totally agree with your post.  HOWEVER, there are possibilities for those who WANT that sort of life, and to say it can not be done, the 24/hr bitch on their knees slave is out there, the 24/hr Dom that wants to be King, is also...  Lets let these people play without ridicule.  I've met a few that have lasted a few months.  For these people, it was relaxing, refreshing and enjoyable.  Mind you, it would drive me completely batty!

Newbies, however, PLEASE, PLEASE.. keep your fantasy out of your intuition and common sense.  You have to PLAN for this event, prepare finances and realities.  It's better to meet each other as people with something in common, and grow into something (hey, even a one night stand is a relationship, don't forget), and treat the relationship with respect.

_____________________________

Last night, you were, unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me.... do it again! - Morticia Addams

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 8:39:44 PM   
closertonova


Posts: 50
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline 		I would simply have to say we should keep the clue-less A-holes as they are, as a submisssive, the first emaisl with one line commands, a list of demands, the assumption i would bend for anyone with a loud voice or presence, they get deleted, no mess quick clean up. I am warry of being burned and i would like all the abussive people who will end up hurting me to wear large flashy signs. with honesty in mind there are still people who sound nice that one ought to be warry of, best bet, keep reality in focaus and act like the people we are and let the D/s on the back burner for a while till you have the trust and communication that makes a good scene and a life-role oh so yummy.

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 8:41:09 PM   
WhyteRavenne


Posts: 125
Joined: 9/16/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: guywithcutebutt

One particular domme I met was a wonderful older (large) woman.   By most standards she was considered overweight and un-attractive, but her kindess and willingness to understand her subs needs (as well as relaying her own) made her (to me) the most wonderful women in the world. Case and point, she never had to ask for submission, service or obedience, it was a given.  She was firm but never rude, she took but was not greedy, she had wants but was not presumptuous.  It was only thru the free flow of ideas (of both parties) was I able to achieve such spiritual growth. 

Just wanted to share that. 

M


This is the only part that bugged me... when giving a compliment.. how about leaving it as a compliment without justifying it with an insult?  Many men and women like overweight people.. and beauty is simply in the eye of it's beholder...

(yes, I do have pictures posted... and I'm wonderfully sexy!  Just waiting for them to be approved.. *sigh*)

_____________________________

Last night, you were, unhinged. You were like some desperate, howling demon. You frightened me.... do it again! - Morticia Addams

(in reply to guywithcutebutt)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 8:52:50 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		Quite frankly, when I was looking, the "it's all about me" in my profile worked quite well as short-hand for "don't bother me with your laundry list of things you want me to do to you." I own two wonderful men who understood this and perservered. I don't anticipate having to start looking again for, well, maybe never if I believe my submissive/puppy {smiles}, but if I ever do, I'm going to unapologetically use the phrase again.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


(in reply to guywithcutebutt)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 9:07:17 PM   
Frank01


Posts: 270
Joined: 9/7/2006
Status: offline 		Only a foundation that's built on bedrock can support a reach for the clouds.

(in reply to Misstoyou)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 9:08:47 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I love that you learned to see past the physical.
Kyst

(in reply to guywithcutebutt)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 9:10:17 PM   
Badkitty0810


Posts: 223
Joined: 2/18/2006
From: NH
Status: offline 		Beautifully and eloquently stated.  Nicely done.  :)

(in reply to guywithcutebutt)
Profile   Post #: 20
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