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RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 9:15:18 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		I R TEH DOMINATE.  U R TEH SUBMISIV.  IF U R REEL SLAV U WILL ALL WAYS B NEKKID & IN BONDIGE.  CHANED 2 MY DUNJUN FLOOR.  REEL SLAVS R NOT ALOWID 2 OWN NE THING SO U WILL GIVE ME ALL UR MONEYS.  B4 WE MEET.  U WILL BE COLLARID & BRANDID.  ON TEH FORE HEAD.  ALSO B4 WE MEET.  I AM 4 REEL SO U B REEL 2.  ALL OF YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US.

You mean like that?  ;)
  

(in reply to guywithcutebutt)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 9:18:33 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP///I can certainly appreciate what you are saying..It would take a common sense wise Dominant personality to realise that though a TPE is the objective one must always take into account both parties other life responsibilities and baggage and to make allowances for such....but then again it certainly does help weed out the wankers rather easily when such things are not even taken into consideration...Tempting..

(in reply to Frank01)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/20/2006 9:25:38 PM   
LeeMN


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/26/2005
Status: offline 		Its a delight to read a submissive address the Dom/me side of things much the same way I have been addressing the sub side of things. 

Bravo on finding your lovely lady. 

Your quote describing her "Case and point, she never had to ask for submission, service or obedience, it was a given.  She was firm but never rude, she took but was not greedy, she had wants but was not presumptuous.  It was only thru the free flow of ideas (of both parties) was I able to achieve such spiritual growth. " is the ideal that I hold out for myself and my submissive.

Thanks!

Lee

(in reply to guywithcutebutt)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Get "real?" - 9/20/2006 11:11:37 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		Oh good, I'm not the only one who thinks guywithcutebutt's reality isn't necessarily what I want mine to be.
I would rather remain single forever and use the occasional fun person, than settle for someone with too many other priorities.  My father who was not a submissive taught me that when a man is an adult and takes on a serious relationship, she becomes his priority.   To be my man's priority is the minimum I require, otherwise, I'm fine with remaining single.   
quote:

One particular domme I met was a wonderful older (large) woman.   By most standards she was considered overweight and un-attractive, but her kindess and willingness to understand her subs needs (as well as relaying her own) made her (to me) the most wonderful women in the world. Case and point, she never had to ask for submission, service or obedience, it was a given.  She was firm but never rude, she took but was not greedy, she had wants but was not presumptuous.  It was only thru the free flow of ideas (of both parties) was I able to achieve such spiritual growth. 
The backhanded compliment didn't sit well with me either.
Besides that, if she were so right, than why are you two no longer together?    M


_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Get "real?" - 9/20/2006 11:23:52 PM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

Oh good, I'm not the only one who thinks guywithcutebutt's reality isn't necessarily what I want mine to be.
I would rather remain single forever and use the occasional fun person, than settle for someone with too many other priorities.  My father who was not a submissive taught me that when a man is an adult and takes on a serious relationship, she becomes his priority.   To be my man's priority is the minimum I require, otherwise, I'm fine with remaining single.   
quote:

One particular domme I met was a wonderful older (large) woman.   By most standards she was considered overweight and un-attractive, but her kindess and willingness to understand her subs needs (as well as relaying her own) made her (to me) the most wonderful women in the world. Case and point, she never had to ask for submission, service or obedience, it was a given.  She was firm but never rude, she took but was not greedy, she had wants but was not presumptuous.  It was only thru the free flow of ideas (of both parties) was I able to achieve such spiritual growth. 
The backhanded compliment didn't sit well with me either.
Besides that, if she were so right, than why are you two no longer together?    M



I think that is a very salient question on your part, M, and very intuitive.

_____________________________

Anyone can overpower; not many can INSPIRE.....

This is only MY opinion. If it's not yours, let's agree in advance to agree to disagree, OR, you can just get the fuck over what I had to say:)

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/21/2006 3:19:28 AM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		I did have a slave that worked outside the home.  It's rare in our household.  And of course I have that question ... what do they lack or give up for a 24/7 TPE?  Nothing.




_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to Badkitty0810)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/21/2006 3:21:03 AM   
DivaDuchess


Posts: 402
Joined: 8/17/2006
Status: offline 		Also ... exactly WHY are you not with the 'wonderful' person?

I too saw the backhanded compliment ... interesting.




_____________________________

Duchess

Courage is not the absence of Fear,
But rather the judgement that,
Something else is more important than Fear.

The Brave may not live forever,
But the Cautious do not live at all.

(in reply to DivaDuchess)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/21/2006 5:01:53 AM   
guywithcutebutt


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline 		I didn't imagine that my post would appeal to everyone, but for those who saw words of encouragement and were able to extrapolate something positive from it, thank you for your kind words. 

There was no intent of a backhanded compliment.  In hindsight, I didn't mean to sound disrespectful or offending when I mentioned she was a large woman, I mentioned it for the sake of demonstrating that prior to meeting her, I may have been a bit discriminatory in this regard myself (forgive me for being a visual creature- speaking from a purely evolutionary standpoint, men typically are ;-).   Life (and D's) is a learning experience I suppose, and I'm thankful thru her kindness and ability to win my trust, I was able to see beyond it.  

The focus of my post was simply that just because one is a sub doesn't mean they don't have limits/expectations in all of this.  D's is a part of my identity, but it is not my whole identity, nor does it define me completely (how boring and dangerous would that be?).  In my own naive little world, I like to think that most of the posters here are seeking correspondence, chat and perhaps real time contact with interesting people who may offer insight and perspective with respect to their different perceptions/experiences in this interesting world.  I offered mine. 

Cheers!




(in reply to DivaDuchess)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/21/2006 5:40:51 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Welcome to collarme cutebutt. Don't let some of the answers bother you. No matter what you post on here someone will turn it around. Who cares if your still with that person. It is what you got out of the relationship that counts.

(in reply to guywithcutebutt)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/21/2006 6:47:31 AM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear guywithcutebutt, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I thought your post was well thought out and the spirit of intent was good, as to make it hopeful for all concerned.
 
I will add, that in some relationships that may be transending, they are not meant to be long standing.  This phase that some dominants enter into a submissive/slave's life is, more that of a Guardian, Healer and a brief oasis of kindness, compassion and support, in an otherwise judgmental and at times most cruel community. 
 
Those dominants that can give empathy to those who hurt, who are healing but wounds still unclosed, lost or wandering; have that 'been there done that' experience. 
 
Those dominants and slave/submissive/servant types who match up for that period in time where both match and grow, then renew themselves, heal themselves, gain confidence and or anything that shoves them from one phase into another, no matter how brief is no less invalid.  With a good many M/s and D/s relationships don't last but a few years.  They end and then there is the next phase to journey in.
Some may see it as stages as in education, like 'grades.'  However, individuals must pick for themselves where they wish to be and judge for themselves.
 
Most dominants that I associate with, what their slaves/submissives/servants to be happy.  If it means moving on, they are happy for the slave/submissive/servant that keeps true to their quest for happiness.  Most slaves/submissives/servants I know have the same wish, when dominants move from their world and keep on their quest to find peace.  Both roles are entitled to find 'that joy' in a relationship where the ceiling has been touched and the search is finished.
 
A good many individuals have been judged on their exterior appearance rather than the content of their spirit, their honor, their 'spirit of intent.'  Beauty is, that makes our (in general terms) lives worth living.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 

(in reply to guywithcutebutt)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/21/2006 7:24:22 AM   
mam


Posts: 54
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		I thought the op was very nice and relevant. It is hard sometimes to get people to understand this. Yes, many things are possible, but are they practical?

(in reply to LadyHugs)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/21/2006 7:49:37 AM   
hypnoticblue


Posts: 130
Joined: 9/20/2006
Status: offline 		Very nice! 

(in reply to Badkitty0810)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/21/2006 10:07:54 AM   
guywithcutebutt


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline 		By the way, I am currently interested in meeting a dominant woman-- so any firm, lovely ladies out there who feel I may be a good fit, feel free to send me a note.  It could be an on-line friendship, it could be real time.  I'm open to the possibilities.  And just so we're clear, age and weight are not issues for me.  In fact, larger women are most welcome to respond :-)  Relocation is a possibility for the right woman, so long as you live in the US. 

I would be happy to provide a pic or two if I feel we are compatible.  

Thanks! 

(in reply to hypnoticblue)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/21/2006 11:16:33 AM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear mam, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
Life is not always practical.
 
Where practical fits for one set of individuals, it isn't for another set.
 
Sure is not practical for me to give measure of myself into helping others but, I still do it.  No different from buying stilettos which aren't practical, rather than getting female dominant track shoes as to chase after all the escapees from bondage once I get a few torture toys out.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration, with a bit of wit.
Lady Hugs
 

(in reply to mam)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/21/2006 2:16:29 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mam

I thought the op was very nice and relevant. It is hard sometimes to get people to understand this. Yes, many things are possible, but are they practical?


Submitting is not always practical, no. Often times it requires serious sacrifice of what may feel like a competing priority.  However, when it boils right down to it, Master is my ultimate priority.  I will find a way to work around all other situations.  He has common sense, too, which helps.  It's not like he'd call me and tell me to walk off my job to take care of something for him.  But he has, on occasion, caused disruption to my work.  He is my priority, and I manage.  Sometimes it just takes extra creativity to figure it out. 

(in reply to mam)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/21/2006 4:57:57 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Submitting is not always practical, no. Often times it requires serious sacrifice of what may feel like a competing priority.  However, when it boils right down to it, Master is my ultimate priority.  I will find a way to work around all other situations.  He has common sense, too, which helps.  It's not like he'd call me and tell me to walk off my job to take care of something for him.  But he has, on occasion, caused disruption to my work.  He is my priority, and I manage.  Sometimes it just takes extra creativity to figure it out. 
Precisely what I was trying to say.  If one wants a relationship, and takes one's Dominant seriously, I don't see how one can make 5000 excuses as to why life is in the way.   Life will always be in the way, and if in fact remaining single, doing what one's doing, with one's current boatload of priorities is what one wants, than by all means, remain that way, and don't pretend to be interested in putting in time and effort into forming a relationship, especially one with a fem dominant.

Even in vanilla, I expect to be on the top of my man's priority list;   this isn't to say I'd want him to ignore anything else, but simply to be considered in decisions he makes...  So it would only make sense (to moi) that the fem dom would expect and require you to follow her lead and make her your priority if interested in showing you care to become hers, and that you trust her.    M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/21/2006 6:31:45 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Ahh this was something that totaly frustrated me and brought me to tears when I was searching and made me totaly beleave that I was a bottom at best as I wanted none of the things that the Doms demanded (LOL yes male Doms are as guilty of this as well) not in a million years would I have thought i was a slave because of these experiances. Now i want to be a slave more then anything in the world to my Master (Yes this was an apifany(SP) that happend AFTER me and Master had become Dom/sub) I started my relationship with him so jaded by these Doms that I was sure that at best I could be a sub. But my Master is so unlike these ok Ill call them Do me Masters because I dont know what els to call them. The ones that demand that only they matter and everyhting the op said. That he brought out the slave in me and the funny thing is that wasnt even what he was trying to do or had wanted to do not that he isnt totaly pleased with it cuz I know he is but that wasnt his intent he didnt want more from me then I had said in the begining I wanted to give. Any way I am now his slave and so very happy. my point is to the OP good ones are out there I promise you that!!!

Magik's very happy and content SLAVE!!

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to Badkitty0810)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/21/2006 9:36:25 PM   
guywithcutebutt


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline 		[Precisely what I was trying to say.  If one wants a relationship, and takes one's Dominant seriously, I don't see how one can make 5000 excuses as to why life is in the way.   Life will always be in the way, and if in fact remaining single, doing what one's doing, with one's current boatload of priorities is what one wants, than by all means, remain that way, and don't pretend to be interested in putting in time and effort into forming a relationship, especially one with a fem dominant. ]

Depending on the level of submission and expectations from some of these 'way out' posters, life can and does get in the way.    How can one be self sufficient, while living in a cage or completely relinquishing control?  It's simply not a practical arrangement in the 21st century.   I myself do not seek a dominant woman for security or to 'take care of me'.  I can take care of myself.  I am also not seeking to be financially dominated.  I enjoy submitting-- but I'm not keen on slavery.  Does this mean I am any less capable of providing a level of happiness to a (genuine) woman who might enjoy my submission and her role as a dominant?    Does this imply my understanding/desire of D's is any less authentic than anyone else here? I guess that would depend on the expectations and level of intent of the parties involved.   

I am not seeking to be 'owned', branded, electrocuted, have my appendages mauled, or subject myself to any extreme physically abusive behavior just to find a dominant woman.  In this light, I would rather remain single.  I'm really my own person, but do enjoy pleasing and get enjoyment out of making a dominant woman happy (provided she has taken the time to get to know me and my likes as well as sharing her own).  I have identified with a need, but it just hasn't consumed me.  I have my own thoughts, ideas, desires, and priorities-- it is hoped I can share these with a person who can recognize this, and also understands and nourishes my need to submit.  Above all, I am not so 'hard up' that I would need to promise away my identity (nor my limits) to find a dominant woman (I prefer not to set myself up for failure).  I suppose you could call me a 'masculine' sub. 

No matter what type of relationship we settle into, ultimately we seek happiness.  A sub may find happiness by submitting, a domme by controlling but ultimately we have to appreciate and respect each other's space in and out of the world of D's to make things work in the long run. 

I believe it was Dale Carnegie who once wrote in "How to win Friends and Influence People" that 85% of all divorces are due to a lack of appreciation by one of the partners.  The pendulum must swing both ways when it comes time, effort and appreciation.    At least it would for me. 

Just my thoughts.


(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/21/2006 9:52:29 PM   
guywithcutebutt


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline 		-----------------------------------------------------
I did have a slave that worked outside the home.  It's rare in our household.  And of course I have that question ... what do they lack or give up for a 24/7 TPE?  Nothing.
-----------------------------------------------------

What do they lack or give up for a 24/7 TPE?  

Pardon my moment of reason here, but wouldn't this depend on the submissive and their wants/needs outside of D's?   Or have you just assumed they don't have any other needs?   Your post seems to conveniently lump all submissives into one big mindless category and aside from your guidance, they aren't missing out on anything.   

Thank god there's more diversity in the D's world than just this mindset.  Sounds a bit mean spirited to me.   

(in reply to DivaDuchess)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Come on ladies, get real.... - 9/21/2006 9:57:17 PM   
guywithcutebutt


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/28/2005
Status: offline 		MagiksSlave... you have said the golden words..

Good masters/dommes don't have to demand submission-- they bring it out in their sub.  I have always despised bullies. 

Congratulations! 

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
Profile   Post #: 40
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