RE: Come on ladies, get real....

RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (Full Version)

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ownedgirlie -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/21/2006 10:02:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: guywithcutebutt ----------------------------------------------------- I did have a slave that worked outside the home. It's rare in our household. And of course I have that question ... what do they lack or give up for a 24/7 TPE? Nothing. ----------------------------------------------------- What do they lack or give up for a 24/7 TPE? Pardon my moment of reason here, but wouldn't this depend on the submissive and their wants/needs outside of D's? Or have you just assumed they don't have any other needs? Your post seems to conveniently lump all submissives into one big mindless category and aside from your guidance, they aren't missing out on anything. Thank god there's more diversity in the D's world than just this mindset. Sounds a bit mean spirited to me. Okay wait a minute. You speak of the error of lumping all submissive into one big mindless (??? where did THAT come in ???) category, and you say thank god about diversity, but then look at your previous posts, which clearly state that anyone who does completely give him/herself over is....what - unrealistic? And how do you know what is best for someone else's submissive or slave? Maybe that person wants such an arrangement? Just because you don't see it as a reality does not mean it is not a reality. If only I could give up working full time to stay in my Master's home and serve him full time - if only. Do you knw how absolutely rewarding it would be for me to be learning new things for him? About his work? About all his volunteerism? About his family? About those things in his life in general? Do you know how cool it would be to be in his presence all the more, sharing with him my own knowledge on subjects he has not be previously subject to? It would be my absolute delight! So please, please...keep your mind open to the endless possibilities around you. You do not wish to be enslaved - cool. Negotiate an agreement that works for you. But please be cautious of undermining the reality that many here live. It's a big ol' world out there, my friend. You'd be amazed what goes on [;)]

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/21/2006 11:03:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: guywithcutebutt Depending on the level of submission and expectations from some of these 'way out' posters, life can and does get in the way. How can one be self sufficient, while living in a cage or completely relinquishing control? It's simply not a practical arrangement in the 21st century. LOL, I don't know who you're talking about.... Never said I didn't want a thinking, self sufficient person who is submissive/slave to moi. Want to retain control, steer clear of me is all I'm sayin', LMAO. quote: I myself do not seek a dominant woman for security or to 'take care of me'. I can take care of myself. I am also not seeking to be financially dominated. I enjoy submitting-- but I'm not keen on slavery. Does this mean I am any less capable of providing a level of happiness to a (genuine) woman who might enjoy my submission and her role as a dominant? Does this imply my understanding/desire of D's is any less authentic than anyone else here? I guess that would depend on the expectations and level of intent of the parties involved Nothing about what you said makes you less authentic. Nothing about what you said makes the domina for you less domme because we approach this differently. I responded because you said you wanted to clue us in (suggesting that those who do it differently are out of touch/unrealistic), and I wanted to clue you in to some differences; so that while my style isn't what works for you, it is no less authentic/reality based for me quote: I am not seeking to be 'owned', branded, electrocuted, have my appendages mauled, or subject myself to any extreme physically abusive behavior just to find a dominant woman Is anyone offering to do these things to you? If they are, exercise your right to stay or walk away from what you feel crosses the line of sanity. quote: I have my own thoughts, ideas, desires, and priorities-- it is hoped I can share these with a person who can recognize this, and also understands and nourishes my need to submit. Above all, I am not so 'hard up' that I would need to promise away my identity (nor my limits) to find a dominant woman (I prefer not to set myself up for failure). I suppose you could call me a 'masculine' sub You're suggesting that any man who submits to her expectations is hard up and not masculine? quote: I believe it was Dale Carnegie who once wrote in "How to win Friends and Influence People" that 85% of all divorces are due to a lack of appreciation by one of the partners. The pendulum must swing both ways when it comes time, effort and appreciation That's kind of belaboring the obvious, dontcha think? I mean who among us walks away from someone who annoys us (or whom we no longer apreciate) to go find another exactly like him/her? Yes both people have to derive satisfaction in order to stay in a relationship. In order for me to remain in a relationship with a man, he cannot be so involved with everything else that I become the secondary thought in his day to day... I've never been too unreasonable to understand life interferes, but for me a man has some idea of how to treat his lady, even if he isn't submissive. In that I seek a gentleman who is submissive, I do demand some things of my man especially if he submits at my pleasure. M

illuminati1 -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/22/2006 5:11:57 AM)
One of the things that I found with me being a sub is that i HAVE to have an open and honest Master/Dom. When I get a message from a Master/Dom i expect nothing but honesty. That's all i wnat/need is honesty. If they are willing to lie to you about little things then they will more then likely lie to you about the big things as well. When talking to DOm's the first thing i look for is indescrepancies(sp?). If they can not keep things straight adn you find that there are inconsistancies(sp) then they are more then likely lieing to you. I want an open and honest Dom/Master and to be honest it's one of the first things i look for when speaking with ANYONE meaning anyone in the D.s/M.s lifestyle as well as the 'nilla life. Us sub/slaves have needs as well and when i look at profiles if it seems to be too much "all about me" then it's obviously going to be a waste of my time. (And sorry if that came out wrong. its 7am and i had 3 hours of sleep adn can not for hte life of me fall back to sleep ARGH!!!)

guywithcutebutt -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/22/2006 6:19:18 AM)
[If one wants a relationship, and takes one's Dominant seriously, I don't see how one can make 5000 excuses as to why life is in the way. Life will always be in the way, and if in fact remaining single, doing what one's doing, with one's current boatload of priorities is what one wants, than by all means, remain that way, and don't pretend to be interested in putting in time and effort into forming a relationship, especially one with a fem dominant.] [I've never been too unreasonable to understand life interferes...] These statements sort of contradict each other. In the first paragraph you seem almost intolerant of any sub's priorities which may get in the way of your wants-- and that he / she shouldn't boher trying to form a relationship (or don't pretend to be interested in putting in time and effort) if they don't have their priorities straight (you). In the second statement, you make a U turn and suggest you understand life interferes? [You're suggesting that any man who submits to her expectations is hard up and not masculine?] Let's try and stay on topic here. In my initial post I made the observation that "some" of the female dominants here (and I'm sure submissives) seem a bit unrealistic in their wants-- and similiarly, some subs 'promise away' their real ideas / limits just to attempt to cultivate a contact. This becomes woefully evident when one reads the personals on this site as many dommes start out with 'If you're not real, then don't waste my time'... etc. etc. etc.... I imagine that many folks who visit collarme.com are doing so because they have an interest in D's, but we must remain at least open minded enough to understand that they may not be able to offer the type of 24/7 committment (TPE) some dommes may require or seek. Does this mean they don't understand D's? Does this mean they can't enjoy this interest on a less intense (consuming) level? What I implied was "I" am not willing to prostitute away my limits just to foster a relationship of this nature. [I wanted to clue you in to some differences; so that while my style isn't what works for you, it is no less authentic/reality based for me] You internalized my post... My initial post was not aimed at your style... it's evident we have different approaches/ideas with all of this. I can certainly live with that. I made the observation while looking thru the personals section, that many dommes are quick to discredit / discount subs as insincere, when in reality there are quality subs (as there are quality dommes out there) but that relationships of this nature (as all relationships) require communication, broad agreement of shared interests (including D's), and understanding that some folks may have limitations / priorities that may not always allow complete TPE. To march down the street banging on trash can lids about our wants, with little regard for anyone else's (even a sub) is likely just going to get us ingored. Hey, I'm not attacking anyone who wants this--- I just know it wouldn't work for me. Cheers

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/22/2006 6:35:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: guywithcutebutt [If one wants a relationship, and takes one's Dominant seriously, I don't see how one can make 5000 excuses as to why life is in the way. Life will always be in the way, and if in fact remaining single, doing what one's doing, with one's current boatload of priorities is what one wants, than by all means, remain that way, and don't pretend to be interested in putting in time and effort into forming a relationship, especially one with a fem dominant.] [I've never been too unreasonable to understand life interferes...] These statements sort of contradict each other. In the first paragraph you seem almost intolerant of any sub's priorities which may get in the way of your wants-- and that he / she shouldn't boher trying to form a relationship (or don't pretend to be interested in putting in time and effort) if they don't have their priorities straight (you). In the second statement, you make a U turn and suggest you understand life interferes? It is not a contradiction at all to be his priority while understanding life interfering. If a guy calls home to say, may I be excused from being home to perform the usual after work routine Ma'am? My manager has asked me to do A, B, or C or my mom is not feeling well, etc. would I understand? I just might understand and permit it. You would have to know me and trust my judgement to allow that type of interference on your activities. My understanding of your position is that you will make any and all decisions, and when you show up, she should understand... See the difference? quote: I imagine that many folks who visit collarme.com are doing so because they have an interest in D's, but we must remain at least open minded enough to understand that they may not be able to offer the type of 24/7 committment (TPE) some dommes may require or seek. Why do I get the feeling that for you 24/7 means being tied up/detained, with CBT 24hours a day? Too funny. Have a good day, and welcome to the boards. M

MsKatHouston -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/22/2006 7:42:22 AM)
(quick reply...and I have not read the entire thread) quote: made the observation while looking thru the personals section, that many dommes are quick to discredit / discount subs as insincere, when in reality there are quality subs (as there are quality dommes out there) but that relationships of this nature (as all relationships) require communication, broad agreement of shared interests (including D's), and understanding that some folks may have limitations / priorities that may not always allow complete TPE. While I do not discredit/discount subs who have differing ideals and limits than I do as a whole, I do discount them for me. On this site alone there are plenty of wonderful submissives and slaves, both male and female who are a credit to their owner and to themselves. That does not make them compatible with me, though. I may admire them and I may be friends with them but a D/s relationship would not be successful with them because in order to have one I would have to greatly compromise my own ideals, preferences and limits. I choose not to do so. I choose not to because there are also plenty who DO gel with my tastes. As I do no think a submissive should change their big preferences and limits solely to be in a relationship, nor do I think a dominant should. It's all about finding someone who is compatible.

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