Come on ladies, get real.... (Full Version)

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guywithcutebutt -> Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 2:59:16 PM)

I have been on this site for a year or so now, and have met some fairly nice people.  I have however encountered others (primarily dommes as I am a sub) that are completely clueless and out to lunch. 

While I understand that D's means something different to everyone, I have found that many dommes that are seeking a sub to 'completely' serve them (and only their needs) are wishful thinking.  D's- as are all relationships, is give and take.   Now, I don't doubt you'll get some wankers on here, that will promise you their first born for some kinky chat/correspondence, but how many of these people will actually meet someone (this frustration becomes evident when you read domme profiles).  Those who promises the bull, usually give you the horns I suppose. 

But let's be serious.   We live in a real world today-- people have jobs, lives, families and priorities.  While I can't speak for all subs, I am real and it simply wouldn't be even a remote possibility to meet someone and completely (without question) serve them without having regard for my own needs/life.

I don't really mean to be critical, but am hoping to perhaps enlighten a few who may really wish to win the heart and mind of a sub.  If you're really interested in finding a good sub-- as like all relationships, both parties have to put their time in and take a genuine interest in learning about one another and their likes and dislikes.  The general misnomer with all of this is that just because two people are into D's, doesn't necessarily mean they'll be a fit/match. 

One particular domme I met was a wonderful older (large) woman.   By most standards she was considered overweight and un-attractive, but her kindess and willingness to understand her subs needs (as well as relaying her own) made her (to me) the most wonderful women in the world. Case and point, she never had to ask for submission, service or obedience, it was a given.  She was firm but never rude, she took but was not greedy, she had wants but was not presumptuous.  It was only thru the free flow of ideas (of both parties) was I able to achieve such spiritual growth. 

Just wanted to share that. 

M



LotusSong -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 3:40:27 PM)

Very beautiful.  Thanks for sharing that :)



Steelriven -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 3:55:00 PM)

Yes, thank you! *applauds*



juliaoceania -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 4:30:16 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: guywithcutebutt

Those who promises the bull, usually give you the horns I suppose. 




I love that, also known as "if it sounds too good to be true it usually is". If I were a domme with 100s of supplicants vying for my attention I would rather have one sincere and honest person respond to me with reasonable needs and desires like you seem to have then 100s of "yes men" that are only in it for the kink and promised the service just to get it. I enjoyed your post.



crouchingtigress -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 4:55:05 PM)

hey guy with a cute butt, nice post, dont be such a stranger from now on, ok?[:)]
 

 
 



MasterFireMaam -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 6:22:58 PM)

It's nice to hear from subs who think along these line...ok, so mostly I think that 'cause you think like me. And, after all, this IS the Universe According to Master Fire, right?  [:D]

Keep posting...we have a wealth of really great subs and slave who post in the forums...but there's ALWAYS room for one more.

Master Fire




angelwingrazor -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 6:39:19 PM)

Sound advice there. Totally agree with the post.



Kahri -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 7:10:23 PM)

I agree that is all very true, and only disagree that it is addressed only to Dommes.  Everyone - Dom, Domme, sub, slave, bottom, etc. needs to keep that in mind.



Lorelei115 -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 7:12:20 PM)

I agree! Sometimes people (newbie subs) tend to look at me kinda funny because I insist on open and honest communication with my submissives. It's nice to know there are other people out there who think the same.

Also, congratulations on finding someone special!



corsetgirl -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 7:15:52 PM)

Now, that is what I call the real definition of power exchange - Bravo!  You give us domless subs hope and encouragement.



velvetears -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 7:21:17 PM)

Thank you so much for sharing this experience. You sound very "grounded" and seem to have an understanding of what is needed to make a real life D/s relationship flourish and survive.  i agree that many have unrealistic expecations of what should be expected and it can get quite lopsided.  Over time if needs aren't being met, even if the sub stays, it's going to be at a cost.  It's nice to read an intelligent post that addresses this problem so eloquently!



DivaDuchess -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 7:32:21 PM)

Bravo ... Though We are not seeking a sub.  I have preferred when We had one that they be well mannered as We are and reasonably intelligent.  We have always seen to a sub/slaves needs and desires through communication and give and take.  I have to agree as well and add one thing ... it really gets me when a slave states they have no hard limits ... everyone has them.  Or saying they will do anything.  And what is with the willing to relocate from TimBuckTwo ?? *lol* ... ah well, here we go around again.

Anyways ... Bravo.




amayos -> RE: Get "real?" (9/20/2006 8:24:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: guywithcutebutt

But let's be serious. We live in a real world today-- people have jobs, lives, families and priorities. While I can't speak for all subs, I am real and it simply wouldn't be even a remote possibility to meet someone and completely (without question) serve them without having regard for my own needs/life.


I am lost for words over the mild insinuation of non-reality in what I know and love when juxtaposed against this "real world" I obviously have yet to consider.

In the shadow of this unveiling, words of another come to mind, and since you have been so generous in sharing, I feel it is only right to reciprocate, in turn: "Why not" is a slogan for an interesting life.






WhyteRavenne -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 8:38:11 PM)

I'm going to say this: (since the chance of me shutting the Hel up is impossible), I totally agree with your post.  HOWEVER, there are possibilities for those who WANT that sort of life, and to say it can not be done, the 24/hr bitch on their knees slave is out there, the 24/hr Dom that wants to be King, is also...  Lets let these people play without ridicule.  I've met a few that have lasted a few months.  For these people, it was relaxing, refreshing and enjoyable.  Mind you, it would drive me completely batty!

Newbies, however, PLEASE, PLEASE.. keep your fantasy out of your intuition and common sense.  You have to PLAN for this event, prepare finances and realities.  It's better to meet each other as people with something in common, and grow into something (hey, even a one night stand is a relationship, don't forget), and treat the relationship with respect.



closertonova -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 8:39:44 PM)

I would simply have to say we should keep the clue-less A-holes as they are, as a submisssive, the first emaisl with one line commands, a list of demands, the assumption i would bend for anyone with a loud voice or presence, they get deleted, no mess quick clean up. I am warry of being burned and i would like all the abussive people who will end up hurting me to wear large flashy signs. with honesty in mind there are still people who sound nice that one ought to be warry of, best bet, keep reality in focaus and act like the people we are and let the D/s on the back burner for a while till you have the trust and communication that makes a good scene and a life-role oh so yummy.



WhyteRavenne -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 8:41:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: guywithcutebutt

One particular domme I met was a wonderful older (large) woman.   By most standards she was considered overweight and un-attractive, but her kindess and willingness to understand her subs needs (as well as relaying her own) made her (to me) the most wonderful women in the world. Case and point, she never had to ask for submission, service or obedience, it was a given.  She was firm but never rude, she took but was not greedy, she had wants but was not presumptuous.  It was only thru the free flow of ideas (of both parties) was I able to achieve such spiritual growth. 

Just wanted to share that. 

M


This is the only part that bugged me... when giving a compliment.. how about leaving it as a compliment without justifying it with an insult?  Many men and women like overweight people.. and beauty is simply in the eye of it's beholder...

(yes, I do have pictures posted... and I'm wonderfully sexy!  Just waiting for them to be approved.. *sigh*)



Misstoyou -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 8:52:50 PM)

Quite frankly, when I was looking, the "it's all about me" in my profile worked quite well as short-hand for "don't bother me with your laundry list of things you want me to do to you." I own two wonderful men who understood this and perservered. I don't anticipate having to start looking again for, well, maybe never if I believe my submissive/puppy {smiles}, but if I ever do, I'm going to unapologetically use the phrase again.



Frank01 -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 9:07:17 PM)

Only a foundation that's built on bedrock can support a reach for the clouds.



Missokyst -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 9:08:47 PM)

I love that you learned to see past the physical.
Kyst



Badkitty0810 -> RE: Come on ladies, get real.... (9/20/2006 9:10:17 PM)

Beautifully and eloquently stated.  Nicely done.  :)



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