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Respect - 9/14/2006 5:42:44 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		I'm not really sure where i want to go with this, but its something i've randomly been thinking about lately.  Some really awesome person just recently taught me about it.  I dont think i've ever met anyone with so much respect in my life.  Sorta blows me away.  Self respect, respect for others, respect for the collar.  We pretty much focused on respect for the collar.  Even if the one "wearing" the collar doesnt respect it, the collar still deserves respect.  Even if NO ONE respects the collar, it still deserves respect.  Granted its just one point of view and it doesnt make it right, but hmmmmm 

you know, its a point.  Creates a re evaluation point of oneself i think.  Atleast it can.    hmmm, i dunno.  What does it mean to you all?  "Respect for the collar"??   How do you respect it?  What does respecting it mean to you?

dur i dunno.. i'm just thinking out loud again i guess. 
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 5:55:02 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		Actually, in an email I am simultaneously writing, I speak of how BDSM is bigger than any given one of us.  How it needs to be revered and respected by us, so we do not spoil it for others.

Overly romantic?  Clueless?  Don't know, don't care.  It's how I've seen WIITWD forever.

Can you not see the collar as an embodiment of BDSM, symbolically?

If so, I've already answered your question.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 6:02:30 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Riotgirl, how's about showing some "respect" to the people on these boards and putting up a Profile so we know who we're talking to?

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 6:09:45 PM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

you know, its a point.  Creates a re evaluation point of oneself i think.  Atleast it can.    hmmm, i dunno.  What does it mean to you all?  "Respect for the collar"??   How do you respect it?  What does respecting it mean to you? 



It is a symbol, much like a flag to some folks.  For some folks, it stands for something.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 6:13:50 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

I'm not really sure where i want to go with this, but its something i've randomly been thinking about lately.  Some really awesome person just recently taught me about it.  I dont think i've ever met anyone with so much respect in my life.  Sorta blows me away.  Self respect, respect for others, respect for the collar.  We pretty much focused on respect for the collar.  Even if the one "wearing" the collar doesnt respect it, the collar still deserves respect.  Even if NO ONE respects the collar, it still deserves respect.  Granted its just one point of view and it doesnt make it right, but hmmmmm 

you know, its a point.  Creates a re evaluation point of oneself i think.  Atleast it can.    hmmm, i dunno.  What does it mean to you all?  "Respect for the collar"??   How do you respect it?  What does respecting it mean to you?

dur i dunno.. i'm just thinking out loud again i guess. 


I agree with the idea that BDSM and D/s are big issues or at least, for me they are.  I believe that one is just as important as the other. ( I know that there are those that say that D/s will consume more time than BDSM, simply because play does not occur all the time.  That is true but the play that does occur can enhance intimacy or it can delve into a deeper link between those playing and solidify it OR show where it is weak or it can just be for fun (but there again, if the play is occurring between the two people involved in a D/s relationship with each other, it is something fun being done "together") or it can do all of these together...or it can be a mess that breaks things between the two. )

I know there are those for whom D/s occurs without there ever being any of the play elements of  BDSM being involved.  These couples draw on the strength of the power exchange between them to enhance their lives. 

A symbol for either of these types of couples and their commitment is a collar.  However, for some, the collar has also become something "to have".  I've watched people become collared after only 2 weeks who are still together 5 and 6 years later.  I've heard tell on here of couples and poly groups who came together quickly and who have managed to build relationships that have lasted several years or more.  I've also watched couples become collared after only a couple of weeks only to see them split 3 months, 3 weeks, 3 days, 3 years into the relationsip.  I've had one submissive leave without following through on any of the submissive tenets she had agreed to (not during the relationship...but especially during her leaving.  One of the reasons I was thrown off-kilter when it happened) and based on all of that, I have to say I wonder whether or not there is all that much respect for the collar or even if there should be.   Perhaps we'd do better by basing our respect on how well the relationship between the people involved works, in the good times and...maybe more important...the bad,  rather than for the collar.  After all, the collar is just a symbol and it can symbolize a fleeting relationship every bit as much as a strong one. 

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 6:15:15 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: raiken

quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

you know, its a point.  Creates a re evaluation point of oneself i think.  Atleast it can.    hmmm, i dunno.  What does it mean to you all?  "Respect for the collar"??   How do you respect it?  What does respecting it mean to you? 



It is a symbol, much like a flag to some folks.  For some folks, it stands for something.


I seriously agree with this, for me the collar is just an object, it is the relationship the collar symbolizes that matters. Marriage licenses and wedding rings are only symbols too... it is the meaning we attach to them that matters.

I have zero respect for "a" collar..If I was wearing someone's collar it would mean the world to me

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to raiken)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 6:29:07 PM   
raiken


Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline 		Creative and julia, well said.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 7:06:14 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		Hmmmmmmmmmmmm

interesting points.  See, well.... hmmmm  Aye, it is just an object - but is it one we should respect as for what it should mean?  Or for what it means to you?  Respecting ones self, and ones collar, that extends out to others and their collars?  Even if the "others" dont respect it?  Having your own honor and integrity and it expand into how you see things and do things?

Whether or not, others have honor.. you yourself has honor.  Same as, whether others have respect for a collar, you yourself have respect for it.  No matter who its on or the status of it being used.  It still deserves the respect you give it

something like that, i think

(in reply to raiken)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 7:13:14 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I respect other people's collars as I would other people's wedding rings... it is a symbol of a relationship that exists between people. I would not make a play for that person with a wedding ring and I believe collars should be treated this way also. It is not that much to contemplate in my mind. Walk into any pet store and it is filled with collars, like a jewelry store is filled with rings... all these things are inert until someone choses one as a symbol of something larger

If a collar is laying there unused it has no respect for me, put it on someone and they view it as a deep symbol it has that meaning to them and I respect that meaning

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 7:20:37 PM   
OhReallyNow


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		for this slave, respect for the collar is the same as respect for Master. Though this slave does not wear a 'collar', the principal behind the idea is still the same. This slave is owned property; she respects the ownership that Master has, and therfore, respects the 'collar'.
 
How does this slave respect it? by doing her best to make Master happy, in any and every way that she is able to. By following the rules that Master has set down to the best of her ability. To disrespect Master in such a way, would be to disrespect myself.

_____________________________

~ When anger rises, think of the consequences
CONFUCIUS ~

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 7:21:34 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

Riotgirl, how's about showing some "respect" to the people on these boards and putting up a Profile so we know who we're talking to?


Ummm.. i've a new profile.. devilslilsister.. but dont email me under it pls.

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 7:40:14 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		 
Hello A/all,

Respect.  So often I find it lacking in our society.

This (so-called) Dominant on here (who shall remain nameless) sends a bunch of emails to the submissive I am currently seeing.

She responds and asks him several times to stop contacting her.  He continues to contact her, and his emails are basically of a "why dont you want to talk to me?" variety, coupled with a "gee, Im a nice guy" facade.  Seems to me that he wants her to respond.  So I indicated to her that she not contact him any more, regardless of what he writes, and let me deal with it.

Dont get me wrong, she is a big girl and probably smarter and more articulate than 99% of the people on the planet, and can certainly handle the problem.  But I take that whole Dominant making the sandbox to keep the submissive safe and happy thing rather seriously.  Besides which, she gets all squishy and yummy when I beat on my chest, drag her into the cave by the hair, etc.

So I write him a polite email, asking him to respect our relationship,  and tell him to cease and desist contacting her, or I will notify the collarme moderators that there is an on-line stalker if he continues to do so.

He writes back with "Why are you contacting me?  Are you both idiots?..."

What was curious about his email is that it seemed to beg for a response from me.  Then I sat and thought about it for a minute.  This is a person who is demanding a response from other people, perhaps because he lacks a real deep sense of self identity.  I figure that to him, any response, even a negative one, is better than 0 response.  I am not going to respond to his non-consensual kink.  I read somewhere the line "It is better to be hated than ignored."  I did keep the email so I can forward it to the moderators if I need to.

And if he contacts her again, I will contact the moderators and let them deal with the problem. 

Just me, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 7:46:02 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Block him.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 7:51:18 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Block him.


Thank you for the advice.

This is allowing some other Dominant to exercise control over somebody I am seeing.

I have issues with that.  If I want her to block him, I will instruct her to do so.

In the meantime, people who post or email things often open themselves up to things which range from simple ridicule to criminal and civil charges.

Where is the fun in simply blocking people?

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 7:52:20 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Well, it's only fun if you insult them first.




_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 7:54:03 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Well, it's only fun if you insult them first.





Silence is so deafening.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 8:35:56 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		For me "the collar" is a symbol of D/s so for that reason I respect the idea behind it whether the person wearing it is behaving in manner deserving of respect.

Some people don't respect their own collar, or collared submissive, and some people don't respect other people's collared submissives. There are jerks everywhere but it doesn't negate my respect for the idea that the collar represents. As juliaoceana said, it's like the respect given to a wedding ring. I respect the ideal that ring represents all the while being aware that there are many others who do not.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 9:13:46 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

"Respect for the collar"?? How do you respect it? What does respecting it mean to you?



For me, a collar is merely a collar. It is a tool, and to be respected as such. If you are using the word to symbolize the relationship between a slave and her Master, then I would say it is the relationship—the bond of submission and ownership—that I respect.

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Respect - 9/14/2006 9:21:32 PM   
ayasha


Posts: 149
Joined: 12/10/2005
Status: offline 		one doesn't respect objects, per se.  It is the Master/Mistress that would have the respect, just as it is the husband/wife and not the wedding ring.  Symbols like this have become meaningless as so many people wearing them don't respect their own relationship, and so many giving/wearing a 'collar' have absolutely no clue of the history behind it.  So one will respect people that deserve respect - but not a meaningless object. 

(in reply to RiotGirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Respect - 9/15/2006 4:55:58 AM   
Devilslilsister


Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		Ha ha Sinergy.  i get alot of dweebs like non stop.  They come in all shapes and sizes.  Sometimes they are useful to have abit of fun with, sometimes not.  i say, dun get yer panties in a twist about it. 

And i wouldn some up the person as a "Dominant" because if he was a dominant, this behavior wouldnt be going on.  Its just some tard harrassing you two.  Ignore him, have fun with him, block him w/e. 

Hell i've some guy right now insulting me about the fact that i "saw" the end of the rainbow.  I basically sent back an educational email about manners, perspective and the like.

I say, its ALWAYS fun to pick apart some ones email and show them what a dumb ass they are! 


_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 20
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