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RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 1:59:06 PM

ExSteelAgain

Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline

I have to say that is a lot of negative generalizations about the people here for a first post. Heh, not that I exactly entered meekly, but when you start with a negative post you should have something concrete to back it up with. In any case, welcome to the boards and I hope to see you posting more.

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You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to rcblkmaster)

Post #: 21

RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 2:13:31 PM

justheather

Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline

To the OP:

I think that the longer one is "here", the better one becomes at recognizing what is someone else's baggage and filtering it out. People tend to post from a relatively consistent perspective.

You just figure out as best as you can what that perspective is, read with a grain of salt and take from the post whatever you think might be helpful to you. Anything else (and that includes, but is not limited to negativity), you are free to leave behind on the message board floor.

Everyone here potentially has something to teach you or remind you that you already know.

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to rcblkmaster)

Post #: 22

RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 2:22:32 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

Your profile

quote:

Seeking an open-minded White, Asian, or Hispanic lady with specific interest in being trained to serve and owned by a Black Master. Discreet preferred. Married ok.
Daytime sessions preferred

doesn't scream open-minded to me, but more requiring others be open minded to your desires/current state; I could be wrong, and if I am, my apologies.

Either way, welcome to the boards where you will meet many judgemental (usually in a good way), and mostly open minded folks. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to rcblkmaster)

Post #: 23

RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 2:26:12 PM

Sunshine119

Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

*fast reply*

ah.....now I see what his dilemma is. I looked at his profile and discovered that he is (most probably) a married man looking for something on the side. He is after all looking for "discrete" afternoon meetings....lol.

Yeah....there actual is alot of judgemental stuff going on around here regarding men or women who are cheating on their spouses without their knowledge.

Hmmmm.....stick around though.....you might find a woman who wants just that. Don't expect too many polite replies from those who have not contacted you first.

Not your totally average whine though.........

_____________________________

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 24

RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 2:29:46 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

I felt the same way when I found the lifestyle. I simply felt that because I felt so "at home", everyone should feel and act the ways I try to. What I learned is that there are crappy people everywhere. There are also lovely people everywhere. So, don't set aside the common sense you use on a daily basis to avoid stepping in the crap.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to rcblkmaster)

Post #: 25

RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 4:56:19 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

For a while, I accepted everyone. And then I realized that most of the people I was so accepting of, under any other circumstance, I wouldn't have spent time with. It's not to say they weren't good people or that I'm better or anything silly like that, It's just that those people would not have been the people that I would have developed strong friendships with. That's when it occurred to me that I didn't HAVE to accept everyone in the same light.

I've said before, I'd rather know me better than to be like some leaf, blowing this way and that by whatever wind should happen to gust past me. In order to do that, it means I have to be judgmental. I get to make decisions regarding what I think and what I feel is right for me. That means that not everyone is going to agree with me. And if that's judgmenta, then, by all means, color me judgmental.

However, it doesn't mean I have to be cruel.

The other side of that coin however is the realization that because I have the right to disagree with people, there will be some who will think me judgmental and even cruel.

I can live with that.

juliet

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 26

RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 5:17:53 PM

CreoleCook

Posts: 321
Joined: 10/9/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

With the best will in the world, even open minds are not necessarily like minds.

Damn well said.

Here's a quote I love...

"Let any man who wishes to keep his slaves, wear those same chains for just one day. Then let that man come back to me, and ask to keep his slaves." ~~Abraham Lincoln

Now getting to the statement above... friend, you came to find yourself on the edge of discovering a new world, based on sensuality, and sexuality, where taboos are public discussion, and passion is as rampant as compassion is. But now, here you are, on a public chat forum, directing anger at the world you are discovering, because its not perfect like you once imagined. There is hate, strife, lust, greed, and gluttony here as well.

None of us are perfect. No one is. Perfection is unattainable, but a goal many have, in the way of relationships, and intimacies. Quit looking for Miss Perfect, and just try to find Miss Right. You'll be ahead of the game.

CC

< Message edited by CreoleCook -- 9/11/2006 5:18:23 PM >

_____________________________

"If I owned Texas, and Hell, I would rent out Texas, and live in Hell." ~Gen. John Sheridan, 1855

"I was thinking of the immortal words of socrates, who said, 'I drank what?'" ~Chris Knight, Real Genius

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 27

RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 6:51:31 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

Positive or negative people ....you learn from both, if only you keep your mind open....Tempting

(in reply to CreoleCook)

Post #: 28

RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 6:53:40 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

quote:

I have definitely met a large number of folks who are kind, generous, understanding and open.

If that's the case then why focus on the other type?

If he/she/it did not, who would?

Sinergy

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"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 29

RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 7:03:33 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rcblkmaster

I was so excited when i first came upon this site. I expected to find a community of people with open minds and arms, given that vanilla society has such a closed mind to these types of lifestyles. What I have found in my short time here is an abundance of angry, harsh and closed-minded people who think that there is only one way to be dominant or submissive.

I have definitely met a large number of folks who are kind, generous, understanding and open. Yet, I am dismayed at the disproportionate amount of closed-minded folks who think they own the site and that all on it must live down to their expectations. I'm amazed at the number of venomous profiles on here with personal attacks against those with a different slant than theirs. It's really disheartening.

Why can't we all be open-minded enough to accept that everyone has their own way of living the lifestyle? Just because someone approaches it from a different road doesn't mean that theirs is any less or more valid than yours.

Bring on the open-minded, whether or not we match.

At the very least, please be civil.

That was a huge thing I noticed too and had started a thread having to do with being nice (its long since been buried).
I see this crap about people having to earn respect,I think respect should be a common courtesy until its found out that person doesnt deserve it.It shouldnt be for the few who agree with you.
I also have to say when I was newbie here when asking a question you get 10 links to that question,as a newbie how are you too know its been asked,it could take all day to find them.Some of the links to past threads are helpful when not presented in such a way as to make a person feel like crap,and you know some do it just that way.

All I can say is stick around and ignore the bad seeds and look for the ones who are truely amazing people who give some of the most intelligent info.My top vote for that would go to LadyHugs,She is a very Wise Woman.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to rcblkmaster)

Post #: 30

RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 7:05:50 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rcblkmaster

I was so excited when i first came upon this site. I expected to find a community of people with open minds and arms, given that vanilla society has such a closed mind to these types of lifestyles. What I have found in my short time here is an abundance of angry, harsh and closed-minded people who think that there is only one way to be dominant or submissive.

I have definitely met a large number of folks who are kind, generous, understanding and open. Yet, I am dismayed at the disproportionate amount of closed-minded folks who think they own the site and that all on it must live down to their expectations. I'm amazed at the number of venomous profiles on here with personal attacks against those with a different slant than theirs. It's really disheartening.

Why can't we all be open-minded enough to accept that everyone has their own way of living the lifestyle? Just because someone approaches it from a different road doesn't mean that theirs is any less or more valid than yours.

Bring on the open-minded, whether or not we match.

At the very least, please be civil.

Can we all hold hands and get a round or two of kumbaya from the masses?

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to rcblkmaster)

Post #: 31

RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 7:37:48 PM

NINASHARP

Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

All I can say is stick around and ignore the bad seeds and look for the ones who are truely amazing people who give some of the most intelligent info.My top vote for that would go to LadyHugs,She is a very Wise Woman.

I had the same thoughts when I first signed on here, with all the discussions going on with so many topics addressed, I was glad to find this place. I never understood the bickering between those asking sincere questions and some of the responses, but I realize that there are those who have a history on here and it goes back awhile.

I like the diversed opinions even if I don't always agree with them and find that most of the people here are those I respect because of how they reply on certain subjects. There are posters I seek out to see what they commented on, not because I am a big fan of them personally, but because reading many of their past posts doing a search option on a particular subject, it appears they know their shit, and even if coming across harsh, they don't hold back.

I second LadyHugs, she is always polite and helpful, and always puts it elegantly.

Nina

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

Post #: 32

RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 8:48:25 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

Im sorry but honestly I dont know what you expected to find (OK thats not true cuz you told us) but we are people like all others and it seems all people are judgmental (well most) no matter how hard some of us try not to be (and face it most of us dont try not to be) iv actually found people in the "life" are more judmental then venillas because venillas dont have any preconsived notions about what real D/s M/s S/m BDSM or what ever is really suposed to be. But when you come here you get a bunch of people that know about this stuff and have this idea in their head about how things are supposed to be done and seem to think that their way IS the way and the ONLY way to do things... I dont know if that made any sence. I hope it did.

(in reply to angelic)

Post #: 33

RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 8:55:34 PM

marieToo

Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NINASHARP

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

All I can say is stick around and ignore the bad seeds and look for the ones who are truely amazing people who give some of the most intelligent info.My top vote for that would go to LadyHugs,She is a very Wise Woman.

I had the same thoughts when I first signed on here, with all the discussions going on with so many topics addressed, I was glad to find this place. I never understood the bickering between those asking sincere questions and some of the responses, but I realize that there are those who have a history on here and it goes back awhile.

I like the diversed opinions even if I don't always agree with them and find that most of the people here are those I respect because of how they reply on certain subjects. There are posters I seek out to see what they commented on, not because I am a big fan of them personally, but because reading many of their past posts doing a search option on a particular subject, it appears they know their shit, and even if coming across harsh, they don't hold back.

I second LadyHugs, she is always polite and helpful, and always puts it elegantly.

Nina

Kudos to Nina and MSassy.

I didnt really know what to say, because I see alot of it too, hell im probably part of it at times. But you both cut to the chase and offered the positive side, which I think is a refreshing change. I hope the OP got something out of it. It was a good reminder for me as well. :)

_____________________________

marie.

I give good agita.

(in reply to NINASHARP)

Post #: 34

RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 10:01:14 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline

Those in the kinky life have the same morals as most do vanilla or not, cheating is not OK. It appears from your profile you are cheating and looking for one who could be also cheating.

Dont get me wrong there are those in an open relationship or in the poly lifestyle however they are not cheating. All partners are fully aware of who is doing what and whom

You maybe fortunate to find a female who is interested in something on the side in the afternoon, however dont think you will get some flack along the way.

I will give you credit though for being upfront and honest about your status, the only thing worse than a cheater is a liar who is cheating.

Have fun and enjoy the boards, becareful tosing stones the glass walls just might break.

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 35

RE: Judgmental - 9/11/2006 10:08:36 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

Thank you marie,
I do try to stay positive.I wish I could say I wasnt guilty of some of that "crap",
but that would be lying.I think WE can all do that at times,the important thing is to own it and move on,so dont feel too bad we are all just human at the end of the day.

Be Well and Stay Positive...you can do it I know you can...

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to marieToo)

Post #: 36

RE: Judgmental - 9/12/2006 5:26:32 AM

WhipTheHip

Posts: 1004
Joined: 7/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rcblkmaster
I was so excited when i first came upon this site. I expected to find a community of people with open minds and arms, given that vanilla society has such a closed mind to these types of lifestyles. What I have found in my short time here is an abundance of angry, harsh and closed-minded people who think that there is only one way to be dominant or submissive.

I have definitely met a large number of folks who are kind, generous, understanding and open. Yet, I am dismayed at the disproportionate amount of closed-minded folks who think they own the site and that all on it must live down to their expectations. I'm amazed at the number of venomous profiles on here with personal attacks against those with a different slant than theirs. It's really disheartening.

Why can't we all be open-minded enough to accept that everyone has their own way of living the lifestyle? Just because someone approaches it from a different road doesn't mean that theirs is any less or more valid than yours.

Bring on the open-minded, whether or not we match.

At the very least, please be civil.

Sadly, this is always the way it is in any group. The purists always insist that if you don't
do things their way, you are not a true: Muslim, Christian, Republican, Democrat, Vegetarian,
Enviromentalisit, Animal Lover, Lesbian, etc.

_____________________________

(in reply to rcblkmaster)

Post #: 37

RE: Judgmental - 9/12/2006 5:35:41 AM

pinkee

Posts: 487
Status: offline

well, i know what the Op means, but P/pl who have told You to focus on the positive are right....not everything written here is or is meant to be taken to heart...some P/pl i think are just blowing off steam. pinkee

(in reply to MistressSassy66)

Post #: 38

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