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humiliation - 9/5/2006 7:12:55 PM

rubyleu

Posts: 63
Status: offline

this is the first time im trying this out. hope it works.

im supposed to be a slave, but im not quite sure anymore. as a slave, im supposed to accept everything, and have no limits. but im having a hard time with something.

i want to ask subs/slaves, how would they feel about being part of this particular scene. we meet this Domme/male slave couple. a scenario is planned to have both me and the male slave bound and humiliated with Master and Mistress fuck and tease us.
how would you feel about it?
Say this is a not a 24/7 relationship, but rather a very casual one.

thanks for yr opinions, replies

Post #: 1

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 7:16:24 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Strangely, my Master will allow others to fuck me, but anything that comes close to D/s and it's completely off limits.

So, on the one hand...the tease/fuck thing...I could do.

And on the other, the humiliation by someone other than him - I couldn't. Doesn't mean I wouldn't if he wanted me to, just means that right now, at this time, I have a hard time imagining that happening.

juliet

(in reply to rubyleu)

Post #: 2

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 7:21:12 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

First off, in my opinion, fuck that "not supposed to have any limits" garbage. If you have 'em, you have 'em. If you think you'd like that, then it's fine. If you've not discussed having others fuck you then you need to talk to your Master about it. Personally, I think I'd have a very hard time if we're talking a casual relationship. In fact, I'd have a hard time being a casual slave.

(in reply to rubyleu)

Post #: 3

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 7:22:50 PM

rubyleu

Posts: 63
Status: offline

strangely too, my Master has allowed others to use me while He watched. i felt strange to be serving another, but i did it anyways. But the fact that another woman would humiliate me is just a hard limit for me, especially by fucking my Master. is it jealousy? is it normal? is it because i wait too long for my Master that when i am with Him, i want Him to myself? am i selfish?

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 4

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 7:29:48 PM

xkittenishx

Posts: 38
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline

This is a good example of why discussion is so very important before going into any kind of collaring relationship. You said in your original post that you're 'suppose' to be no limits but in your first reply you said that having a woman humiliate you was a hard limit. Did you discuss limits with your Master before the collaring at all?

While I completely understand wanting to please your Master in every way humanly possible (something that I, as a slave, strive for as well...) it's equally important to be partnered with someone who has similiar wants and interests as you.

Could others have done that scene? I don't really think that should be your question since it's something that you did do and now have issue with... my best advice would be to talk to your Master about this and why it's left such a mark on you, perhaps he didn't realize just how deeply it would've effected you.

(in reply to rubyleu)

Post #: 5

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 7:31:47 PM

Owned1

Posts: 847
Joined: 7/6/2005
From: Toronto, Ontario
Status: offline

I would suggest it is truly difficult to be a slave in a casual or not 24/7 relationship. imho there needs to be constant contact to build to the point of being a slave with no limits (the Master/Mistress's limits).

Under this assumption then this would not be a M/s relationship but rather a D/s relationship which would then have very specified guidelines limits etc.

I cannot answer any further as this is the framework from which I work when it comes to M/s relationships.

Owned

_____________________________

~~in His Chains i am free~~

(in reply to rubyleu)

Post #: 6

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 7:32:53 PM

rubyleu

Posts: 63
Status: offline

i have to correct the scenario. my Master and this Mistress would fuck each other while the slaves watched helplessly. this was suggested, or described as a fantasy by the male slave to me. my Master enjoyed this male slave's description of scenario. as for me, im not sure.. why?.... because its a casual relationship and i crave to be His fuckhole, and be abused and used by Him. i will talk to my Master, in fact, i sent a message asking we need to talk. but im so afraid.. afraid that it will turn against me. it always does, because i just dont know how to express myself.. Being alone most times, i need to be reassured. its just me. but i also believe most female subs would feel the same... unless they are in in 24/7, and do have a chance to do other stuff with their Masters.

(in reply to rubyleu)

Post #: 7

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 7:33:37 PM

Contesaluv

Posts: 173
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

My first question would be. How do you feel about it? As always, I stick to what's true to my core and I guess I expect and/or hope that others are doing that too regardless of whether they're a Dom/me or a sub/slave. At your core you know what turns you on and off and also what you can endure. You should have your own code that you live by even as a slave. A code which is based on your moral fibers and your ethics, standards and such. If this doesn't fit into that then perhaps you should still be looking for your One. However, if you feel you've found your one then I would say a request for discussion should be made to your Master/Mistress. We don't know unless we have feedback from you what's going on in your head and during a scene we can confuse facial expressions of disdain for a mere roleplaying aspect of the scene itself. Just my 6 pense.

_____________________________

Mistress C.

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.
William Shakespeare
------------------------
In a world of so many variables, why do you have to be the norm? Anonymous

(in reply to rubyleu)

Post #: 8

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 7:44:04 PM

rubyleu

Posts: 63
Status: offline

The scenario has not been done yet. i have contacted this couple where the male slave wrote back to me. he described his fantasy and some experiences with his Mistress. he explained that this is a fantasy they both have. my Master has replied to him saying that it would be very interesting and that it might be a possibility. i do know my Master likes to surprise me and doenst write to me about any plans, though i read them sometimes. in the past, i was judged jealous and i was told i ruined potential meetings with others. however, we worked over those issues. i needed more communication, and when things got like that, i got reassured. but i feel ...incompetent to not be able to see this as all play and not take it so seriously. my Master knows its a tough limit, and seems to want to push my limits constantly. but why do i feel this would, or could devastate me.

(in reply to Contesaluv)

Post #: 9

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 7:52:11 PM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubyleu

i have to correct the scenario. my Master and this Mistress would fuck each other while the slaves watched helplessly. this was suggested, or described as a fantasy by the male slave to me. my Master enjoyed this male slave's description of scenario. as for me, im not sure.. why?.... because its a casual relationship and i crave to be His fuckhole, and be abused and used by Him. i will talk to my Master, in fact, i sent a message asking we need to talk. but im so afraid.. afraid that it will turn against me. it always does, because i just dont know how to express myself.. Being alone most times, i need to be reassured. its just me. but i also believe most female subs would feel the same... unless they are in in 24/7, and do have a chance to do other stuff with their Masters.

I see a lot of issues here. It's almost difficult to address all of them in one comprehensive post. I looked at your profile. I got the sense that he wrote it. I don't know whether that's germane, but so be it. It creates tension within me.

I thought I understood your scenario before you reposted, and it turns out I was right. He will be with another woman while you watch.

In your first post you say that as a slave you're 'supposed' to accept anything. (I'm going to step over the limits trap.) But again, the way you write this, I get the impression that 'he' is imposing this feeling on you, and you're trying to hang on to the ride. It isn't a feeling that you've embraced yourself. 'You're my slave.' 'Well, I guess, if you say so.'

If you really felt this way, and if had a clearer understanding within yourself of what it means to be a slave, then I believe you would be able to understand your own feelings in this. If your trust in your Master is such that your surrender to him is his due, then you perhaps should not be quibbling over a decision that is not yours to make. I'm not saying that THIS scenario should sound keen to everyone; what I'm saying is that ANY scenario is outside your control, limits aside.

That you would use the words 'casual' and 'slave' in nearly the same breath unnerves me to no end, as I believe has already been mentioned. I'm sure that you are probably using the 'slave' terminology in some romantic sense and not how others here might treat it, but perhaps this will be a lesson that someone can learn from.

I believe the part that is most telling is how you say you have difficulty expressing yourself. In a relationship type that involves a great deal of communication from both parties just to get to the degree you describe it (slavery), your inability to communicate is going to be very difficult for you to recover from. It goes back to my small conversation above. This is definitely something you need to learn for yourself and your self-preservation.

If you are uncertain of your status or feelings from the thought of this proposed encounter, then you should have the sense to understand where this particular relationship is likely to end. Where you land and how you proceed from there depends a lot on how you judge yourself and what lessons (or damage) this particular relationship have cultivated.

Jeff

< Message edited by mstrjx -- 9/5/2006 7:56:47 PM >

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to rubyleu)

Post #: 10

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 7:53:50 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

I'm afraid only you can decide for yourself whether this action will ultimately be good for you or if it would compromise your sense of self.

And only you can decide if he's doing this with actual good intentions and judgement in mind, or whether he's just letting his hormones and cock take over.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to rubyleu)

Post #: 11

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 7:54:23 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubyleu

The scenario has not been done yet. i have contacted this couple where the male slave wrote back to me. he described his fantasy and some experiences with his Mistress. he explained that this is a fantasy they both have. my Master has replied to him saying that it would be very interesting and that it might be a possibility. i do know my Master likes to surprise me and doenst write to me about any plans, though i read them sometimes. in the past, i was judged jealous and i was told i ruined potential meetings with others. however, we worked over those issues. i needed more communication, and when things got like that, i got reassured. but i feel ...incompetent to not be able to see this as all play and not take it so seriously. my Master knows its a tough limit, and seems to want to push my limits constantly. but why do i feel this would, or could devastate me.

It sounds to me that the issue is fairly simple. You've recounted that this isn't the first time that other parties have come into play or been a consideration. It seems obvious that your master has an interest in doing this in some regard. Unfortunately you feel as if you're to blame when things don't pan out as planned. Up until now you believed yourself to be one without limits and have stumbled upon one that you have. It isn't the fact that you're jealous or insecure that is truly holding you back. It is merely the fact that you don't desire to share your master intimately with another that is the real culprit.

If you wish to progress with the person you're with you will have to adapt to his preferences, hope he'll have a change of heart, or merely find one that doesn't harbor a desire for casual relations. There is no shame in admitting what is true for you. The biggest disservice you can do to yourself and the one you service would be to deny these things instead.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to rubyleu)

Post #: 12

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 7:56:10 PM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

What do you get out of it?

Will he abandon you if you do not carry through?

(in reply to mstrjx)

Post #: 13

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 7:59:43 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

As a slave, supposedly, you do whatever your Owner tells you to do. On the other hand you say it could *devastate* you. you have a decision to make here do what Master says or what your own heart/mind tell you to do. I would say you need to talk to him and tell him that this maybe a limit he cannot push and with that said, be prepared for anything he may decide. If he tries to push and you cannot deal with it, you may have to walk.

Life is too short to be miserable, do whats best for you.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to rubyleu)

Post #: 14

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 8:01:27 PM

Homestead

Posts: 1005
Status: offline

The long run cut off is this.

A master who does not care if he damages you is a poor steward. It then becomes time to leave.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 15

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 8:01:50 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I think the first thing you need to do, before you start asking OTHER people for advice, is make sure you're clear about why exactly this situation bothers you.

And then explain that to your master or mistress.

Edited to add: Oh, I see that you went on to explain it. Well...if it bothers you, it bothers you. No one else's opinion can or should change that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubyleu

i want to ask subs/slaves, how would they feel about being part of this particular scene. we meet this Domme/male slave couple. a scenario is planned to have both me and the male slave bound and humiliated with Master and Mistress fuck and tease us.
how would you feel about it?
Say this is a not a 24/7 relationship, but rather a very casual one.

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 9/5/2006 8:03:14 PM >

(in reply to rubyleu)

Post #: 16

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 8:07:47 PM

rubyleu

Posts: 63
Status: offline

i wrote the profile myself but its been modified here and there over time. i agree to everything on that profile. i just was curious to know if another sub or slave, female specifically, cos sometimes i feel male subs are wired differently, would feel seeing their Master fuck another woman, a Domme, while she was bound, and humiliated. i know i have to talk to my Master about this, badly.. because its bothering me so much at this point.. i just dont get it how some could do it. how do they do it..

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 17

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 8:09:55 PM

deltadawn

Posts: 224
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline

"casual relationship" "no limits" "slave"

Seems there are already many things wrong here, or for me there would be.

To answer the question, If you feel there is a problem, there is a problem and it seems that in asking this on a public board, there is a problem.

Advice: Speak to your Dom. Communication is always the best option.

dawn

_____________________________

Beneath his wings, I can fly.

(in reply to rubyleu)

Post #: 18

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 8:28:00 PM

wonderland

Posts: 7
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline

I can't see how casual and slave go together.
You seen very attached to a relationship that is supposed to be casual.

(in reply to deltadawn)

Post #: 19

RE: humiliation - 9/5/2006 9:01:49 PM

GeekyGirl

Posts: 905
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline

I would tend to agree that "casual slave" is an oxymoron.

I have been a slave, one time exactly, and to me it is the ultimate expression of submission. It's not something to be given casually. To me a Master/slave relationship implies the ultimate level of devotion, love, service, and trust. Anything less than that is, IMHO, not a true Master/slave relationship.

I certainly can't imagine having "no limits" within the context of a casual relationship.

But in answer to your question, you need to have an open talk with him and explain to him that this scenario makes you uncomfortable. The mental and emotional well-being of the slave is the responsibility of the Master, and he must take said responsiblity seriously enough to occasionally put aside his own kinky fantasies in regards to maintaining an emotionally healthy slave. I'm all for pushing limits, but it sounds to me as if you are obviously not ready for this yet, and he should respect that.

(in reply to wonderland)

Post #: 20

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