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RE: Roleplaying vs. being who you are - 8/30/2006 4:04:19 PM

SusanofO

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I don't really have enough experience to be able to tell, yet. But, with my one Dominant, I did tend to "step into" my submissive mind-set with more focus when I visited his home for a scene (we did not live together). But, I feel submissive, as a person, most of the time in general.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 8/30/2006 4:44:59 PM >

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Post #: 41

RE: Roleplaying vs. being who you are - 8/30/2006 4:05:29 PM

cuddleheart50

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There is no stepping in and out of it for me...its who I am.

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Post #: 42

RE: Roleplaying vs. being who you are - 8/30/2006 4:42:54 PM

subsa

Posts: 196
Joined: 8/3/2006
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quote:

I know that people will be found at every point on the spectrum. Some will step in and out of their Dominant/submissives roles in a capacity that only appears during play. Some will step in and out of it while being in a committed relationship. For some, there is no role, it is simply who they are and there is no stepping in and out. Where on the spectrum do you fall?

funny you should ask this... some of the other responses have helped to clarify something Master and i have been discussing. we've only been trying the 24/7 lifestyle for a short time. previous to this we didn't have a name for how we lived and 'stepped in and out of roles'. we each have our own strengths and weaknesses (and we both recognize this) so the person with the most 'strength' in a particular area was the 'dominant'. since we both recognize the other's strengths its easy to know who would be in charge. for example, i really suck at finances while Master is a whiz with money. naturally He makes (and always has made) the financial decisions. as far as sex was concerned, it kind of depended on the moment. i guess you could say that we were both 'switches' as each of us played the dominant role on different occasions in the bedroom. but on a day to day basis the 'stepping in and out' came very naturally to us. now we're trying to have a 24/7 lifestyle and it's difficult (confusing) to let go of the 'stepping in and out' part. what can be confusing at times is to retain the D/s positions when it's not the 'natural' way we've done things in the past. so you think its confusing to step in and out and i think its confusing to not have the person with the greater abilities be the dominant. how we've resolved it is to say it's our relationship and so as long as we think the exchange of power is working in a D/s dynamic it doesn't matter what it looks like from the outside. and of course now He decides whether it's something i should take care of or if he wants to no matter the strengths (me: ' but you're a much better grill man than me' Him: 'fire up the bbq, pet, and get cooking' .

for us one of the big changes has been in the sexual area as i've given up ever being the dominant. it was never a good fit for me anyway and we mostly did it for the variety. now we've discovered variety aplenty ...lol

(in reply to spankmepink11)

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Post #: 43

RE: Roleplaying vs. being who you are - 8/30/2006 5:09:09 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
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I'm always a Dominant.
When I played with my former sub I didn't "change" for the scene I was just myself.
I might "change" a bit for "Role Play" to become a Teacher for a student but I can do that very easily.
When we'd be out to a show in Boston for instance dressed up nicely, I'd be a Dominant and she a sub.
I agree with Raven," what you see is what you get."

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Post #: 44

RE: Roleplaying vs. being who you are - 8/30/2006 5:30:11 PM

WhiteRadiance

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Joined: 9/8/2005
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It is interesting to me that people identify with one particular trait and use this quality to describe their entire personality. No one is ALL dominant or ALL submissive, we all have both qualities. We choose to embrace one or another, or both.. depending on what we find most rewarding.

To define myself as "a Domme" all the time is to limit the other parts of myself. In my relationship, I am the Dominant. I do not try to dominate anyone else nor do I try to assert my power over everyone in my life. However, we do not role play all the time, as Mistress/slave.

I am always the dominant in the relationship but this does not mean the slave cannot speak his mind, nor does it mean he is naked and collard and waiting on me every moment of the day. I set aside times for high protocol and intense play, and during those times the rules are adhered to and the lines are drawn.

I hope I answered the question in some way.. without confusing the issue. Great topic.

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Post #: 45

RE: Roleplaying vs. being who you are - 8/30/2006 5:41:30 PM

MasterFireMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRadiance

To define myself as "a Domme" all the time is to limit the other parts of myself. In my relationship, I am the Dominant. I do not try to dominate anyone else nor do I try to assert my power over everyone in my life. However, we do not role play all the time, as Mistress/slave.

This is why I rather see "Dominant" and "submissive" as being adjectives describing action and "Master" and "slave" as being nouns....AND I say that what we do doesn't define who we are. Who I am is Master Fire. What I do is either top, bottom, submit, dominate or none of the above as I feel the urge or see the need. Doesn't make me any less a Master to be flogged, to serve my friends or to be nice to my boss. But then, I have been accused of being weird.

Master Fire

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Post #: 46

RE: Roleplaying vs. being who you are - 8/30/2006 6:43:30 PM

popeye1250

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From: New Hampshire
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRadiance

To define myself as "a Domme" all the time is to limit the other parts of myself. In my relationship, I am the Dominant. I do not try to dominate anyone else nor do I try to assert my power over everyone in my life. However, we do not role play all the time, as Mistress/slave.

This is why I rather see "Dominant" and "submissive" as being adjectives describing action and "Master" and "slave" as being nouns....AND I say that what we do doesn't define who we are. Who I am is Master Fire. What I do is either top, bottom, submit, dominate or none of the above as I feel the urge or see the need. Doesn't make me any less a Master to be flogged, to serve my friends or to be nice to my boss. But then, I have been accused of being weird.

Master Fire

MasterFireMaam, I don't think you're "weird"
Different people are just different is all.
I'm Dominant 24/7 but I don't act Dominant 24/7 if that makes sense.
If someone met me in public they'd never guess it.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

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Post #: 47

RE: Roleplaying vs. being who you are - 8/30/2006 7:01:27 PM

LaMspeach

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I am always LaM's slave no matter if i am kneeling at His feet, being a mom, or at work. Being his slave is as much apart of me as breathing is. It isnt something i put away when i come home.

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Post #: 48

RE: Roleplaying vs. being who you are - 8/30/2006 8:49:19 PM

WhiteRadiance

Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRadiance

To define myself as "a Domme" all the time is to limit the other parts of myself. In my relationship, I am the Dominant. I do not try to dominate anyone else nor do I try to assert my power over everyone in my life. However, we do not role play all the time, as Mistress/slave.

This is why I rather see "Dominant" and "submissive" as being adjectives describing action and "Master" and "slave" as being nouns....AND I say that what we do doesn't define who we are. Who I am is Master Fire. What I do is either top, bottom, submit, dominate or none of the above as I feel the urge or see the need. Doesn't make me any less a Master to be flogged, to serve my friends or to be nice to my boss. But then, I have been accused of being weird.

Master Fire

I do not consider you weird in the least. I think you have it together.

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Staci

The drop of rain makes a hole in a stone not by violence, but by often falling.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)