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ORIGINAL: PassionWolf

It seems that the question of who is who in a poly household always seems to come up. However reality is what you need to remember. A girl that has been with her Master for say 6 years has seniority and has aquired many perks along the way no matter what Master it is all will give a little leway to a girl that he knows or she knows does something they might not allow from another girl or boy simply because the new one has not proved the intent of the action. So no matter what you do you will find that all households that have been around forever seem to have this structure. Human nature is that once you have someone long enough you do tend to allow actions that you know to be cute or desireable in one, that you might not find that desirable in another. My girls dont obey each other, they help each other to accomplish what is needed for the house, yet there are things allowed and not allowed with each that are laid out because of who each is. In the end, everyone serves the house, that is the goal,, Even I as the head of the house serve the house, then my girls, then myself, if each keeps that structure, we all live by the same rules, we all are accountable with each having our strengths and weakness. That is the nature of life itself. Poly when done as a family works, and in a family there is always the eldest.. and the youngest.

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ORIGINAL: Jasmyn

Imagine a Victorian home ... you had the butler, cook, male & female servents, etc ... in charge of their various areas for the smooth running of the home ... same with the miliarty and it's various ranks ... they don't aspire to equality in rank .. equal appreciation one would hope...but works on a type of delegation ... from one to another ... and those lower in 'rank' are bound by the orders of those above them ... and their Master/Mistress being the ultimate authority ...
 
I don't think it's about switching at all. 

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ORIGINAL: Homestead

quote:

ORIGINAL: PassionWolf

It seems that the question of who is who in a poly household always seems to come up. However reality is what you need to remember. A girl that has been with her Master for say 6 years has seniority and has aquired many perks along the way no matter what Master it is all will give a little leway to a girl that he knows or she knows does something they might not allow from another girl or boy simply because the new one has not proved the intent of the action. So no matter what you do you will find that all households that have been around forever seem to have this structure. Human nature is that once you have someone long enough you do tend to allow actions that you know to be cute or desireable in one, that you might not find that desirable in another. My girls dont obey each other, they help each other to accomplish what is needed for the house, yet there are things allowed and not allowed with each that are laid out because of who each is. In the end, everyone serves the house, that is the goal,, Even I as the head of the house serve the house, then my girls, then myself, if each keeps that structure, we all live by the same rules, we all are accountable with each having our strengths and weakness. That is the nature of life itself. Poly when done as a family works, and in a family there is always the eldest.. and the youngest.

Good point Passionwolf.  But I have also seen Masters who never allowed alphas as such. I think they were a bit more objective in how they viewed thier slaves. The main issue being that the older slave brought the new one up to speed when the master was not around to supervise.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

FR:

Operating under anothers authority is operating under anothers authority.  It's not switching to take the responsibilities that your owner has given you to take.  Instead of being a boss at a job, or over kids, or over house workers...you just happen to be a boss over people you're in a personal relationship with.  You still don't have the ULTIMATE authority over them, you've just been delegated duties that you must fulfill.

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ORIGINAL: raiken


Ideally this works well among people who have that natural respect and understanding for natural order and balance, and are not in constant ego competitions, but rather seeking, and are likeminded, toward the same goal of unity, team or family structure.  Just offering some food for thought.

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ORIGINAL: PassionWolf

It seems that the question of who is who in a poly household always seems to come up. However reality is what you need to remember. A girl that has been with her Master for say 6 years has seniority and has aquired many perks along the way no matter what Master it is all will give a little leway to a girl that he knows or she knows does something they might not allow from another girl or boy simply because the new one has not proved the intent of the action. So no matter what you do you will find that all households that have been around forever seem to have this structure. Human nature is that once you have someone long enough you do tend to allow actions that you know to be cute or desireable in one, that you might not find that desirable in another. My girls dont obey each other, they help each other to accomplish what is needed for the house, yet there are things allowed and not allowed with each that are laid out because of who each is. In the end, everyone serves the house, that is the goal,, Even I as the head of the house serve the house, then my girls, then myself, if each keeps that structure, we all live by the same rules, we all are accountable with each having our strengths and weakness. That is the nature of life itself. Poly when done as a family works, and in a family there is always the eldest.. and the youngest.

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ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: raiken


Ideally this works well among people who have that natural respect and understanding for natural order and balance, and are not in constant ego competitions, but rather seeking, and are likeminded, toward the same goal of unity, team or family structure.  Just offering some food for thought.

I would imagine this is very rare, but possible.  I wonder how smoothly things really run in such households.  I mean, its gotta be hard to turn off all emotional response and operate like a soldier.  For me anyway.  For some, maybe thats how they thrive best.

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ORIGINAL: HisChatelaine

Personally, I could not imagine a household, or a busines, or an army - any group of people with a common goal, properly functioning  in any other way.

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ORIGINAL: marieToo
I could have been more specific.  In the household that Im speaking of , the senior slave is in authority to the slut slave, but is not sexually involved with her, so I wouldnt consider her a switch. 

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BUT...the slut slave and her master are in search of a 'pet slave' for her, that the slut slave WOULD be sexually dominant too, as she is bisexual and 'switchy' too.   So in this case,  we have those who are simply in authority to others, and those who are in authority and also 'switch' on a sexual level as well.  which to me, would add even more conflicting and confusing feelings to the mix

edited for a typo

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ORIGINAL: twicehappy

Sounds like the Alpha system to me, you do see it in some Gorean households as well. You know; first slave, second slave etc....

There is no way i could do this one. Imagine answering to everyone in the house or having to answer for somebody else's mistakes. It works for the military i'm sure but i would never join the army either.

I still get pissed at sub/slaves that were here prior to me and failed to put things back where they belonged or stored things in their proper place. When I go looking for a tool(we are restoring an old Victorian home)that belonged in a certain box that has not been needed for a year only to discover after 6 hours of searching that said previous subbies just stuffed in a closet I could beat them myself. So there is no way I would want to be responsible for somebody else.

This system is also probably psychologically and emotionally hard on the slaves further down in the hierarchy. Whether or not they were valued less would likely be a question in their minds.

In our house all subs/slaves are equal, we have (in the past and will again if we find another) separate duties but all such duties are perceived as having equal value.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

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ORIGINAL: marieToo
I could have been more specific.  In the household that Im speaking of , the senior slave is in authority to the slut slave, but is not sexually involved with her, so I wouldnt consider her a switch. 

I'm not sure how you're dragging sex into the definition of switch/switching.  A person can be a switch with or without sexual interactions, and a person can be NOT a switch with or without sexual interactions.  Being sexually involved in and of itself is meaningless.

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You made what I thought was an excellent point when you said in your first post that being a submissive to one, but being in 'authority' to another doesnt make a person a switch.  
In my mind, I define a switch as someone who likes to submit sometimes and dominante other times in a sexual sense.  Perhaps we define switch differently.  How do you define switch?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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ORIGINAL: Homestead

Marie, most D/s poly relationships fail by making the last slave in feel like a third wheel.

The master playing favorites pretty much guarantees it happening. Eventually the added slave begins to feel taken for granted, no matter how hard she tries to achieve higher status. And achieving "rank" should not be what this is about. Especially when you know there is a built in glass ceiling-one that will ever be allowed breaching.

The nest step is usually slave three finding her own way to the door-and the clueless primary couple labeling her self-serving and jealous. Too bad they never gave her a chance-it might have been happier.

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ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

hi marie,
 
you know it really is not that confusing when you are living it....especialy if you are a follow your gut sort of person, because my Dominance and submission are very intuitive, and come form the way i respond to the energy around me....if all the people involve have clear lines of communication and clearly defined rolls with intimately defined duties and expectations, it is a system that i find works better then the all slaves are equal model, simply because in that model often times you see an undercurrent of jealousy and competition for the doms attention.

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
You made what I thought was an excellent point when you said in your first post that being a submissive to one, but being in 'authority' to another doesnt make a person a switch.  
In my mind, I define a switch as someone who likes to submit sometimes and dominante other times in a sexual sense.  Perhaps we define switch differently.  How do you define switch?

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo
You made what I thought was an excellent point when you said in your first post that being a submissive to one, but being in 'authority' to another doesnt make a person a switch.  
In my mind, I define a switch as someone who likes to submit sometimes and dominante other times in a sexual sense.  Perhaps we define switch differently.  How do you define switch?

For me, sex has nothing to do with it.  Just like sex has nothing to do with the definition of "a dominant" or "a submissive."

Doms and subs can engage in sexual acts if they want or...or not.  It has nothing to do with their definitions.

You also have different types of switches.  Some switches enjoy topping and/or bottoming, but do not switch in their orientation- they are a slave, but may enjoy topping and bottoming to other people, or they are a master, but may enjoy bottoming and topping others as well.  Their kinky activities do not change their primary relationship orientation.

Some switches do switch orientations, they are both a dom and a sub- but NOT within the same relationship.  They are ONLY a slave to their master, never a top, never a dom, but they may have a submissive of their own.  Or they may be a slave to their master, but vanilla with another partner.

And some switches switch orientations within one relationship- they are a dom and a sub and that partner is also a dom and a sub and they both switch with eachother. 

Again, in none of these situations is sex necessarily involved.  Hope this clarifies.