|
mistoferin -> RE: D/s interrupted by illness (8/24/2006 6:13:43 AM)
|
I have been on both sides of this coin. When two people love each other, they deal with whatever life chooses to throw at them. My heart goes out to you because I know how difficult it can be. Don't feel badly for asking questions....answers from a variety of sources can help us to be more prepared to deal with the possibilities. What I am hearing from you is not that you are looking for a way out...but that you are asking for understanding and advice on how to work through this thing together.
My husband was in a very bad motorcyle accident. He spent nearly a year hospitalized and then many years recovering. For a couple of those years, he could only get up to use the bathroom. Now his condition was a physical one...but over time it also affected the D/s dynamic on a mental level. When one is injured to that level it changes them. In many ways he could still maintain a degree of Dominance, however, over time that became less as he grew to depend upon me for all of his decisions. It was a difficult time, but I loved him and that love carried me through. The people that came out on the other side of the experience were not the same people that went in though. As he recovered and became more confident in asserting control...the D/s dynamic once again strengthened. I believe though, that he also saw me in a new light....one that gave him a deeper respect for me. He saw that I was a strong and capable woman who could manage heavy burdens on my own...and he told me that it actually made my submission to him seem more profound as he realized that the only reason for it was the desire that came from within me. It wasn't born of need.
Later in our relationship I became seriously ill and needed his care. He told me that the one thing that he never questioned was whether or not he could....because he had been shown by my example how. When I became sick he said the thought that struck him was simply...ok, now it's my turn. Granted, during the times that I was not hospitalized, I tried to keep our lives as normal as possible and do as much as I could. There were many days however, that the burden fell upon him as it just simply hurt too bad to get out of bed. I found, as he did, that over the course of that time, that I grew a new respect for the man that he was.
Our relationship ended many years ago....but not because of our illnesses. We remain close today and continue to have great respect for each other.
|
|
|
|
