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Question - 8/4/2006 10:36:49 PM

DoolbSnogard

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline

Well I'm not realy shure where the best place to post this is and this thread seamed as good as any so hear it gose.

Lets see. Well for starters honestly I'm not exactly where to start. I am looking for a slave that I could have as my own and I do know that they do not grow on trees. I also know from a differant sight that to be a Master of a slave brings on quite a bit of responsibility on my part which honestly I would be willing to deal with. The thing is that so far any that I have ever sent a message to be them here on coller me and or some other sight expresing an intrest on my part to get to know them and see where things go from there they seem to all go unansered.

I know that for the longest time my profial was out of date and just a few days ago I went and updated it. So I do not know if that is part of the problem or not. If it was than hopfualy it has been corected. But at the same time I do not know what else I could be doing wrong. Could it be my aproch or still something else that I am intirly unshure of.

I guess that is why I am making this post tonight, lol. My delema I guess is how dose one aproche another expressing any leval of intrest and not scare them away or better yet at least is able to get a responce back?

I hope that made sence, lol. Any ways I think it will be intresting to see what others from all sides of the fence have to say as well as see if I can pick up a few tips here and there to hlep me in the future.

Post #: 1

RE: Question - 8/4/2006 10:57:53 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

I suggest you have someone edit your spelling before sending emails, and also in your profile. Poor spelling doesn't bother a lot of people on the message boards, but on a profile and in emails it can be a turn-off. You might also want to say more what you are looking for in a sub and what your interests are in your profile. Good luck to you.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to DoolbSnogard)

Post #: 2

RE: Question - 8/4/2006 11:04:38 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

What would you do if it was a vanilla situation?

Just be yourself, and be polite, casual and social as you would in normal vanilla company, if you're not a sucky person, eventually you'll connect with someone.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DoolbSnogard)

Post #: 3

RE: Question - 8/5/2006 12:10:23 AM

Satyr6406

Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
Status: offline

In my humble opinion, the best thing you can do is to "put yourself out there" as honestly and straight-forwardly as possible (I dislike people that "put their best foot forward"). Be yourself. Tell us as much as you feel comfortable sharing.

A submissive/slave that appreciates who you are and what you have to offer will find you and take the time to get to know you, at a deeper level than just letters on a computer screen.

I disagree with the suggestion that you have someone edit your e-mails. You are a bad speller. Anyone that wishes to serve you will understand that.

Also, know that finding "the one", here, is no different than anywhere else. It's VERY difficult. It is, I believe, even a little more difficult, on-line because of the "anonymity" that this type of communication allows.

I wish you luck in your long and arduous search.

Michael

_____________________________

Peace and comfort,

Michael

Former Vice-President Gore didn't invent the internet but, he DID make up global warming!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: Question - 8/5/2006 12:20:26 AM

Estring

Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Your profile is a bit on the wimpy side. And you need to put more information about who you are and what you can offer a woman. Remember, women on this site get bombarded with tons of messages. You need to give a reason for her to want to respond to you. And yes, spelling is important. Good luck.

< Message edited by Estring -- 8/5/2006 12:21:32 AM >

_____________________________

Boycott Whales!

(in reply to DoolbSnogard)

Post #: 5

RE: Question - 8/5/2006 2:12:34 AM

Samwhiplash

Posts: 191
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

I suggest you have someone edit your spelling before sending emails, and also in your profile. Poor spelling doesn't bother a lot of people on the message boards, but on a profile and in emails it can be a turn-off.

Couldnt agree more. This is a topic that I have recently raised within the Irish bdsm group that I belong to - and the general consensus was that people agree. Producing an introductory email of a good standard is very important.

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 6

RE: Question - 8/5/2006 3:47:59 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub

I suggest you have someone edit your spelling before sending emails, and also in your profile. Poor spelling doesn't bother a lot of people on the message boards, but on a profile and in emails it can be a turn-off. You might also want to say more what you are looking for in a sub and what your interests are in your profile. Good luck to you.

Ditto!

Also when you fill out your profile do include a description of you vanilla interests as it cannot be fun and games all the time even if you go 24/7.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 7

RE: Question - 8/5/2006 9:29:50 AM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

There have been suggestions about having someone spell check your profile and e-mails, and that's a great point, poor spelling and grammar do seem to be huge triggers for most of us, myself included.

However, my hubby is a horrible speller, and dyslexic, and has been known to spell the word WHO three different ways in one short note.. (who, hoo, and huw) Using a dictionary is almost useless for Him because He can't look up what He can't spell, and it still doesn't mean He'll copy it right from the dictionary if He does find it.

Satyre makes a good point, if beautiful prose attracts someone to Your profile, then it turns out it's not YOUR writting, that's going to cause a lot of false starts for you, so better to be honest.

i would suggest You do have someone edit for You, append the profile to say something to the effect that You've had it done for the readers ease, because spelling is not Your strong suit. That is honest, and it gives You some time to build a spelling list.

Just go over the words that are common to this lifestyle that You'll use frequently, and keep the list tacked to the computer. That way You can be growing, while You're not sending off good potential partners. After a while, You'll only be mis-spelling the least common words, and anyone interacting with You has had some heads-up on it, and let's hope that You have qualities that balance that out. W/we A/all have things to improve on, so let's not believe You're out of the running because of something that doesn't matter if You're face to face with someone You care about.

Good Luck! :)

(in reply to twicehappy)

Post #: 8

RE: Question - 8/5/2006 10:00:21 PM

DoolbSnogard

Posts: 5
Joined: 12/9/2004
Status: offline

Thanks all. Defenatly a few things for me to look at and think on. My spelling has always been a problem for me. Expecaly seams that I spell things the way they sound and well to be honset the english language (at last here in the states) just is not the best language to do that with.

Also Mavis I can literaly put my self in your husbands place in regards to spelling and the dictionary. I find it a pain in the ass to try and look something up when I dont even know how to spell it in the first place and I also happen to be dyslexic as well. Though that I think over the years I have been able to adapt to. My spelling on the other hand still obiviously something that needs work. Past that I realy dont know how others preceave me.

Humm so from what the general opinion is is that my spelling in regards to e-mails and my profial are the bigist turn offs. Defenatly will have to look in to corecting that.

Thanks again all and if any one else has other opinions and or sugestions that they would like to shere I would love to hear them.

(in reply to Mavis)

Post #: 9

RE: Question - 8/6/2006 3:21:27 AM

tbear4759

Posts: 55
Joined: 5/27/2006
Status: offline

getting spell check would help you

_____________________________

"I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection. She pulled a switchblade on me."

"You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view."

(in reply to DoolbSnogard)

Post #: 10

RE: Question - 8/6/2006 3:38:13 AM

nzaurelia

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/18/2006
Status: offline

My advice would be to find someone with whom you form a human relationship first, and that takes time. So many seem to rush in looking for a "Master" or a "slave", hook up, and fail just as quickly as they started. Is there a compatability of interests? Do you have the same goals? Do you have enough in common and enough chemistry to build a strong human relationship which will be the foundation for any D/s or M/s? (I have assumed you are seeking full time, live in in time).

Make yourself as attractive as possible. What do you have to offer a submissive? Those Dominants who seem obsessed with themselves and have little empathy or thought for others are likely to be less successful at establishing or sustaining any type of relationship. I have heard estimates there are 10 male Dominants seeking for every 1 female submissive, yet submissives seem generally cynical about the quality of the Dominants "on offer".

Most of all I would say be yourself. There is nothing more appealing than a man who walks to the beat of his own drum, demonstrating his own real inner confidence, security and individuality.

(in reply to DoolbSnogard)

Post #: 11

RE: Question - 8/6/2006 5:24:28 AM

ShiftedJewel

Posts: 2492
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline

First, a picture speaks a thousand words.

Second... as a serious dictionary addict I will add that spelling is a big thing to me. For the most part you spell your words phonetically "correct"... so maybe it isn't a dictionary you need, but instead you need to learn the "rules" of phonics. Little things, like when a long vowel says it's name and so forth. Along with the fact that "sh" isn't the only thing that makes the shhhh sound. Learning the rules of spelling would help you far more then a dictionary to start out with.

Aside from that... a potential partner needs to know if you are married? Do you have little ones? Are you settled in a secure job? Do you live with your mom, sister, grandparents? Are you into micromanagement or are you just pretty laid back in general? And being honest here... they don't care if you've been unsuccessful in the past, in fact, because you are here searching pretty much says that already.

Then putting what you are looking for.. something other then "anything that submits", would be a good idea. Does she need to enjoy fishing? Camping? Shakespear? Everyone has a life outside of wiitwd and compatibility is a biggie. Kink is great but it's also a training issue most of the time. But if you have nothing in common but the kink then what do you build a relationship on?

I would suggest that if you have a close friend you can ask them how they would describe you and take it from there.

Jewel

_____________________________

Don't ask, trust me, you won't like the answer... no one ever does.

(in reply to DoolbSnogard)

Post #: 12

RE: Question - 8/6/2006 5:45:44 AM

collaredheart

Posts: 23
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline

I just wanted to say how impressed i was at the mature way this thread has been handled. Mavis raised good points about dyslexic people and language as a whole. I also think DoolbSnogard responded very admirably. I know many would have been annoyed and defensive at any kind of criticism.
I think the advice others have given here is good. On the whole i would say just be honest and be yourself. In my opinion what is inside the heart and soul is far more important than your ability to spell correctly.
best wishes to you and good luck in your search.

(in reply to DoolbSnogard)

Post #: 13

RE: Question - 8/6/2006 8:07:56 AM

LokisBrat

Posts: 431
Joined: 12/5/2005
From: Mayberry, Illinois
Status: offline

You better get used to the idea of scaring people off..............News flash, not everyone is "into" being whipped or degraded.

Straighten your profile up, and carry yourself with a bit of pride. You should reek with confidence, not uncertainty.

LOKI

_____________________________

"My pleasure, your pain. Doesn't matter, its all the same"

-Loki

(in reply to collaredheart)

Post #: 14

RE: Question - 8/6/2006 8:14:39 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Ohh hon, as a Dominant looking for a submissive, you better get after that spelling ASAP, get a ghost writer and a dictionary--that won't fly I can assure you. If English is your second language, then you need to specify that up front--or you will have a tough uphill battle establishing credibility.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to DoolbSnogard)

Post #: 15

RE: Question - 8/6/2006 8:35:42 AM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

Hi and good morning. i agree that this thread is going much better than some i've seen..lol.

Since you spell phonetically, i have 2 suggestions that may help. First, the forum has a spell check (the check mark with ABC on top of the writing window. Secondly, I also downloaded a program called "ieSpell" that will check other things i write. Both programs have "faults" -- they can't always tell if the spelling you chose is wrong because it's a "correct: word, for example, their, there, they're. They all sound the same..but it would perhaps give you a place to start. I've also been known to copy a note into Word or WordPerfect to double check myself.

BTW, welcome to the forums and good luck.

(Now if i can just remember how to type I'll be fine..lol)

cheers
jimini

_____________________________

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 16

RE: Question - 8/6/2006 1:40:48 PM

Mavis

Posts: 828
Joined: 2/8/2004
Status: offline

Doolb... i forgot to mention, your punctuation is great! That tells a reader you're not uneducated, or unintelligent, just a poor speller. Usually people who spell poorly due to not giving a shit have no clue where a sentence ends or begins.

You show a lot of diligence, and that is a very attractive trait.

(in reply to krikket)

Post #: 17

RE: Question - 8/6/2006 11:08:42 PM

SirDarkside357

Posts: 393
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

Patience, patience, and more patience...... seldom does anything worth having come to you over night.

(in reply to DoolbSnogard)

Post #: 18

RE: Question - 8/7/2006 12:19:17 AM

formenteralady

Posts: 76
Joined: 8/4/2006
Status: offline

but Fedex comes over night. O.o

Seriously you're right though. Just keep an eye out, and have fun, because usualy these things happen best when you're not out ferverntly looking.

(in reply to SirDarkside357)

Post #: 19

RE: Question - 8/7/2006 1:00:17 AM

enigmabrat

Posts: 2383
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline

I order you to send a message and we shall see if your the true one.

Im sorry but this would be a MAJOR turn off.. you cant order a sub that isnt yours to do anyhing.. its kinda like saying kneel bitch on a first e-mail

_____________________________

Leather strap $85.00 on Master card
Wooden paddle $50.00 on Master card
ratten cane $48.00 on Master card

a Master that can use them all Priceless

(in reply to formenteralady)

Post #: 20

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