JassWolf
Posts: 59
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
quote:
ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Now, you are correct in that whether I serve as shoe-removal-service when he comes in and sits, or open my mouth in urinal service, both are submitting. But one required a lot more effort than the other, and his appreciation for that effort (perhaps that is how I am defining "value") is greater.
I agree, and I think it's valid that someone understands what they value- they value X activity more than Y activity in this particular way due to the responses it invokes within them.
The problem is the slippery slope it can create- such that subs will sacrifice more and more and more in an attempt to prove themselves and lose sight that submission is not about how much you sacrifice- but about being true to yourself and creating a fulfilling relationship. They become martyrs and not happy fulfilled people.
And, for a lot of subs and slaves, in order to validate their sacrifice, they call themselves better than others who are not making those sacrifices. That leads to all sorts of problems as well.
This is pretty much the reason I wrote the OP. And while I didn't want to post my opinion with the starter questions, I'll say now that I don't value her submission as of greater or lesser worth because s/he likes or dislikes it.
While services aren't, for me, greater or lesser in value, they certainly are different, perhaps even opposite, in the quality of submission they represent. Enthusiasm is not the same as resignation; initiative is not the same as acceptance. Yet each of them are of great value to me.
Another question might be: can a "healthy" D/s relationship grow without striking a balance among these two submissive reactions?
I mean:
I am proud and gratified when my Pita makes a complete effort (without regard for success) in some task that is very difficult or merely unpleasant for her ... or both.
I am also satisfied, and share her enjoyment, when the task is something she looks forward to with pleasure.
Don't each of us need both experiences for us to thrive and grow: challenge and delight?
But while I understand why pita says: quote:
if I do the “unpleasant” then yes I value it more then doing the thing I know I can readily do. I would say that I value them the same, but in different ways. They are experiences that are different in kind, and while I expect her to make a total effort to accomplish both (without caring whether, in one sense, she likes it or not), I also prize both acts of obedience, if differently.
Hey, it's all about control. She yields, obeys, and I smile.
JW
_____________________________
The greater part of what my neighbors call good I believe in my soul to be bad, and if I repent of anything, it is very likely to be my good behavior. What demon possessed me that I behaved so well? -- Thoreau
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RE: The Smiling Submissive? - 
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