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The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 2:39:07 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		"The measure of a Domme is how he/she treats the slightest offence".
 
True?  False? 
 
"Discuss. Tawk amoungst yerselves."- Linda Richards (of Coffee Talk fame)

_____________________________

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RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 5:31:31 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It's a bit too inapplicable even as a platitude.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 5:36:07 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I dont agree with that. Anyone can deal with an offense. A Dom/me is much more than a disciplinarian. The love, support, and knowledge a Dom/me gives is much more measurable to me.

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 5:45:57 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		"Measure" meaning fairness and/or quality

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


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RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 5:52:26 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
"Measure" meaning fairness and/or quality

Same answer.

If you have to re-interpret a platitude, then it's not a workable platitude.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 6:13:01 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		Hi LotusSong, good topic!
 
I think the measure of a "person" is how they treat an offense.
 
If someone is quick to anger, easily offended, or unreasonable in the face of a sincere apology, I walk away fast.
 
If someone is slow to anger, difficult to offend, and/or peacable whenever possible, I tend to draw closer... and when/if this person ever DOES take offense, I sit up and listen.
 
It's much harder to pursue peace than it is to wage war...

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 6:21:24 PM   
Cloudz


Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline 		Calandra -

I could not have said it better. I am in complete agreement.


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~Cloudz

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RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 6:37:33 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		exactly
quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

Hi LotusSong, good topic!
 
I think the measure of a "person" is how they treat an offense.
 
If someone is quick to anger, easily offended, or unreasonable in the face of a sincere apology, I walk away fast.
 
If someone is slow to anger, difficult to offend, and/or peacable whenever possible, I tend to draw closer... and when/if this person ever DOES take offense, I sit up and listen.
 
It's much harder to pursue peace than it is to wage war...


_____________________________


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This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 7:25:27 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

Hi LotusSong, good topic!
 
I think the measure of a "person" is how they treat an offense.
 
If someone is quick to anger, easily offended, or unreasonable in the face of a sincere apology, I walk away fast.
 
If someone is slow to anger, difficult to offend, and/or peacable whenever possible, I tend to draw closer... and when/if this person ever DOES take offense, I sit up and listen.
 
It's much harder to pursue peace than it is to wage war...


Thank you :)  I knew SOMEONE would understand the post :)

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to Calandra)
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RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 7:55:02 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Are you talking about offence as in "wrongdoing/broken law" or as in "lack of regard to others"?

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 8:07:27 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		great topic... very simply for me... if He is slow to find fault with me.. then He has the patience of Job!!!

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RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 8:18:54 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I look at it this way, I'm not perfect, NO one is and so I don't go looking for faults or perfection. If something bad happens then we talk about it, if someone owes an apology it is given regardless if its Myself or him. We don't point fingers we just talk it out and come to a solution.

I personally think totally one sided relationships are really set up to fail. Someone will be short changed in them. We are all human and we all have faults, no one is perfect. So I think if a Dom/me goes off the handle for every small offense, then they are being unrealistic and maybe a bit to touchy. It might be time for them to leave the caffeine alone.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 8:45:17 PM   
DoctorDubious


Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

"The measure of a Domme is how he/she treats the slightest offence".
 
True?  False? 
 
"Discuss. Tawk amoungst yerselves."- Linda Richards (of Coffee Talk fame)



Hey Lotus Song ... and all...

I must say that  luckyalbatross makes an excellent point.

But, if nobody jumped for platitude-bait
on forums, there'd be cobwebs and dust-bunnies
all over the  forum software in every niche....

So, without further adoooo,

#1. the context of the "slightest offence" makes a huge difference
#2. your "slightest offense" is another's highest "moral value"
#3. the nature and state of the relationship makes a huge difference
#4. implicit contracts and agreements vary vastly in relationships,
especially the power-exchange ones, which are sooooooo easy
to judge and mis-judge from the outside.

#5. no offense....
but isn't it kind of a "bozo-idea" to measure another person.  I kinda think that BDSM-folk, more than others,
should at least struggle in vain to resist this kinda judgemental crap.

#6.  measure for who? 
One subs delight is another's crappy domme,  eh?

#7.  Even though I totally share that bird with the 7' wingspans
suspicions of platitudes.... here I go anyways...

The only measure of a domme/dom
is how well the relationship works for those in it.

DD

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 11:08:30 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra
We don't point fingers we just talk it out and come to a solution.


I agree wholeheartedly. Pointing at someone else's actions is usually a quick way to an argument and resulting hurt feelings. It's usually better to focus upon how certain actions/comments make you FEEL, and enlist the person's aid in helping to resolve it.
 

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 11:30:56 PM   
planomaid


Posts: 77
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		The only measure of a domme/dom
is how well the relationship works for those in it.

DD
[/quote]

THAT is the true answer (of just about any relationship that I can think of).  The only caveat to that would be the interaction of the people within the relationship to the greater community at large.  IF the people did not care for or require the approval of the community, then you are correct, the measure can only be defined within the relationship itself.  Otherwise some accomodation may be necessary.


(in reply to DoctorDubious)
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RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/27/2006 11:32:33 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

"The measure of a Domme is how he/she treats the slightest offence".
 
True?  False? 



This one I would call false. I believe the measure of a (hu)man is in how they behave when no one is looking be they dominant, submissive or something else.

'Slight' and 'offenses' are both too subjective.

Celeste

_____________________________

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/28/2006 1:41:10 AM   
TNstepsout


Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline 		ummmm well I'm also not sure what you mean. I'm kind of thinking "slight offenses" are the ones I don't even bother with so I don't understand how you can measure someone by something they shouldn't be doing.

I'm wondering if it wouldn't be better to consider how one treats the greatest of offenses.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/28/2006 4:43:37 AM   
wandering4u


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline 		Treat or not treat the slightest offense, I think misses the point.  Consistency (sp) is key. If the relationship allows small offenses, then that's how both parties defined it, if the relationship doesn't, then it does not.

Personally, I don't worry too much about the small stuff. Talking it over works well, but when the offense is in the "don't even think about it" category, then it is definitely dealt with.

(in reply to TNstepsout)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/28/2006 5:36:15 AM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

"The measure of a Domme is how he/she treats the slightest offence".
 
True?  False? 



This one I would call false. I believe the measure of a (hu)man is in how they behave when no one is looking be they dominant, submissive or something else.

'Slight' and 'offenses' are both too subjective.

Celeste


I agree with Celeste.

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: The Measure of a Dom/me - 7/28/2006 5:39:19 AM   
SaphireLynn


Posts: 145
Joined: 2/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

exactly
quote:

ORIGINAL: Calandra

Hi LotusSong, good topic!
 
I think the measure of a "person" is how they treat an offense.
 
If someone is quick to anger, easily offended, or unreasonable in the face of a sincere apology, I walk away fast.
 
If someone is slow to anger, difficult to offend, and/or peacable whenever possible, I tend to draw closer... and when/if this person ever DOES take offense, I sit up and listen.
 
It's much harder to pursue peace than it is to wage war...


very wise I agree totally...

_____________________________

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But he that dares not grasp the thorn
Should never crave the rose.
~~~Anne Bronte~~~
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
Profile   Post #: 20
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