The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self.

The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (Full Version)

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knees2you -> The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 10:49:29 AM)
Was just reading a profile where this Woman had been a Submissive all Her life. But today She decided since nobody was paying Her any mind, that today She was going to be a Financial Dom. This is Disturbing, yet i can't help wondering if this some sort of Personality Disorder?[&:] I Believe some who is Straight all His life doesn't just wake up oneday and decide he is gay that day. Really just a thought. Always, Ant, & LilBecque.[;)]

agirl -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 10:58:26 AM)
Just shows you never can tell.......If she's not getting the attention she'd like and is off to try* a domly* path..... the best one can hope is that she'll be satisfied........ I'm not at all cynical about that ...smirks agirl

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 11:03:09 AM)
Why would you leap to "personality disorder"? That's a pretty strong thing and not any real basis for it at all. You hear subs all the time saying they are giving up and going vanilla. You have tons of vanilla people suddenly signing up to collarme saying they realized yesterday they were really submissive. SOmeone changing their mind suddenly about their life perspective just shows that they are in a state of identity flux and working out where they want to be. That's nothing about a personality disorder.

Sekhemet -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 11:28:09 AM)
Seems to Me people "wake up and realize they're gay" all the time. Indeed it was quite a fashionable thing to be doing for ohhh about a decade there. Also LOTS of people within the community start out on one end of the spectrum and then in time decide and realize that they would be far more comfortable on the other end of it, or somewhere in the middle of it. What I personally find disturbing is your jumping to judgement calls which you are completely out of line in making, on many levels and for many reasons. An oppinion is fine, and tolerated when it is your own - but when you do as you have done on the first post of this thread; that is called a personal attack, and really has no place here. If you do not agree with and are not conmfortable with someone you don't need to send them a message - But you are also NOT welcome to be referring to people in any manner becoming a psychiatrist unless, you are one. This would thus be a reminder ... If you have nothing constructive to add ... shut up. Good day. XxoxX

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 11:39:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sekhemet Seems to Me people "wake up and realize they're gay" all the time. Indeed it was quite a fashionable thing to be doing for ohhh about a decade there. Also LOTS of people within the community start out on one end of the spectrum and then in time decide and realize that they would be far more comfortable on the other end of it, or somewhere in the middle of it. What I personally find disturbing is your jumping to judgement calls which you are completely out of line in making, on many levels and for many reasons. An oppinion is fine, and tolerated when it is your own - but when you do as you have done on the first post of this thread; that is called a personal attack, and really has no place here. If you do not agree with and are not conmfortable with someone you don't need to send them a message - But you are also NOT welcome to be referring to people in any manner becoming a psychiatrist unless, you are one. This would thus be a reminder ... If you have nothing constructive to add ... shut up. Good day. XxoxX I think the OP was simply stating a thought or a question,not a flaming war.However you definitely got your panties in a wad ! What are you the posting police?..Having a bad day?.....I hope your day and attitude improve..be well..Tempting

LeatherBentOne -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 12:06:54 PM)
knees2you, Besides posting here, I'm just short of a 10 year membership on another site that includes BDSMers. I can truly understand how the transition you speak of can be misunderstood. A while back, I decided to sub for a while to better understand what submission was all about so that hopefully I would come to understand my counterparts better. When I became a member on the above mentioned site, it was during those 5 years that I subbed. So of course, there was a name change involved; however, I included my sub name on my profile, not intending to hiding anything, but clarify. Well . . . since everyone had known me as a sub and I come waltzing into chat as a Domme all of a sudden, the remarks I received were the typical run-of-the mill negative assumptions I was fully aware that Id be bombarded with. Few people knew Id been in the Scene since 1982, had been a Domme from the beginning, took a lil side trip subbing for 5 years to learn more about subs first-hand, and now all of a sudden Im "Insta-Domme." Perhaps thats the case with this person you mention in your post so I'll clump your remark about a personality disorder with the ones I received because I took your remark as nothing more than sarcasm. But on a cautionary note, it's better to get more facts before we jump to our own conclusions. LeatherBentOne

KennelDeSade2 -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 12:16:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sekhemet Seems to Me people "wake up and realize they're gay" all the time. Indeed it was quite a fashionable thing to be doing for ohhh about a decade there. Yeah, then AIDS was identified and that fell apart real fast. But one thing I just realized is that one of the most positive things about this kind of group, is that it does serve to remind us of a lot of things we may not have thought of in quite some time, and the reminders keep the old mental pathways clear of debris. And can keep us from jumping to really studid conclusions. lol

crouchingtigress -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 12:25:08 PM)
I really dont make judgements to how other people want to get off....i guess because i dont want them judging me ....plus i dont really see a point.

indigo302 -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 1:14:57 PM)
Nah it's not a personality disorder - she's short on cash....and what easier way to get some than to have male slaves sending it, since the Doms won't! chuckles

kiska -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 1:25:37 PM)
Or ... Ya know ... Maybe she's feeling a little bitter about all the Doms ignoring her and she was being sarcastic? Who knows ... If she isn't hurting you, why do you care?

IndigoDadesi -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 1:32:55 PM)
I have a friend who thought she was straight for a very long time, until she realized she really wasnt interested in men and decided she was a lesbian. For years she thought this. Then she met a man in her 40s who flicked the switch I guess and now she's decidedly bisexual. I guess it just depends on where you are in your life and what you are capable of being open to.

LaTigresse -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 1:35:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IndigoDadesi I have a friend who thought she was straight for a very long time, until she realized she really wasnt interested in men and decided she was a lesbian. For years she thought this. Then she met a man in her 40s who flicked the switch I guess and now she's decidedly bisexual. I guess it just depends on where you are in your life and what you are capable of being open to. Idigo..............do I know you???[:D]

Vancouver_cinful -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 1:46:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KennelDeSade2 quote: ORIGINAL: Sekhemet Seems to Me people "wake up and realize they're gay" all the time. Indeed it was quite a fashionable thing to be doing for ohhh about a decade there. Yeah, then AIDS was identified and that fell apart real fast. Sekhemet: I was living right in the centre of the Vancouver gay community through the 70s and 80s. This misconception that a bunch of straight people became gay because it was fashionable is such utter rot. More people came out as gay, and stopped denying their homosexuality, or bisexuality, at that time simply because the times were changing and they were more comfortable doing so. They were also finally getting the information they needed to make the connection between their feelings and the label. It's no different now with BDSM. I came out as a sub around 6 years ago, because the internet allowed me access to what I needed to explore my feelings and realize it in reality. I didn't just become kinky because it's fashionable, I've always been that way. Sure, to many people it looks right now that myself, and many other people, are suddenly turning kinky because it's fashionable. Hogwash. As for the AIDS reference, KennelDeSade, may I ask if you were being sarcastic?

Arpig -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 3:49:56 PM)
Brace yourself LA....I agree 100% with what you said [:)]

knees2you -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 5:57:55 PM)
In one of the Communities i was in, If the The Order of the Group New that someone was Submissive all their lives and suddenly 'Woke up" and became a Dom, They would not get to play with anybody in the Group and they where to show Dom leadership first! But then like I said just flip the Switch and "PooF" Not trying to affend anybody just wanted people's thoughts. If She never swung a Paddle before that day, She wouldn't be hitting me! Ant, and LilBecque[;)]

ICGsteve -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 6:59:52 PM)
It just goes to show how people play around at BDSM without getting in touch with who they are. There are only two possibilites, either this person has no clue who they are, or they can be a switch but either does not know it or is not honest about it. No matter which one is true, this is a person to stay away from.

TheShadows -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/26/2006 7:24:51 PM)
What's the difference? You woke up one day and decided you needed something more/different than vanilla, and that you were going to take the steps to make it happen. Why can't anyone else decide something isn't right for them, and take the steps to change it? It's not a personality disorder for someone to have internal conflict over what's right for them. Just as some gays and lesbians hide in the closet for long periods of time before coming out, I'm sure it wasn't something she just decided this morning when she rolled out of bed. Just because she decided to go Dom doesn't mean she hadn't been contemplating it for quite some time. I'm proud to tell everyone that after struggling with the question/decision for months, the lightbulb came on over my head during a flogging, the last one of my 4 years as a "submissive". If going Dom is what makes her happy, I say more power to her. It was the best decision I ever made. Maybe if you spent a little more time worrying about yourself and what makes you happy, you'd be less disturbed by people who're concentrating on doing what's right for them. MrsShadows

knees2you -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/27/2006 12:16:48 AM)
quote: IGC Steve It just goes to show how people play around at BDSM without getting in touch with who they are. There are only two possibilites, either this person has no clue who they are, or they can be a switch but either does not know it or is not honest about it. No matter which one is true, this is a person to stay away from. Very nicely put! Ant and LilBecque[;)]

TNstepsout -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/27/2006 5:30:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: knees2you In one of the Communities i was in, If the The Order of the Group New that someone was Submissive all their lives and suddenly 'Woke up" and became a Dom, They would not get to play with anybody in the Group and they where to show Dom leadership first! But then like I said just flip the Switch and "PooF" Not trying to affend anybody just wanted people's thoughts. If She never swung a Paddle before that day, She wouldn't be hitting me! Ant, and LilBecque[;)] I understand how that might cause concern, but try thinking of it a little differently. There are newcomers to BDSM who have never swung a paddle who have to learn. They have to start somewhere. In many respects an experienced sub has much more knowledge to start with than most newbies. She knows exactly the kinds of thoughts, feelings, and emotional responses a sub might have. She's been around experienced Doms and knows how things should be done. It tends to confuse people when a person makes a drastic change in their life, especially when that change seems to be directly opposite to the way they were percieved before. But that's just because our brains like to put people, things, experiences, into neat little boxes for organization and storage. But it just doesn't work that way.

ClassAct2006 -> RE: The Bdsm Light Switch. Changing ones self. (7/27/2006 5:32:32 AM)
People differ. I've always been submissive and never not understood it or practised it but some people aren't even sexual until quite an advanced age and some people are asexual. Also a lot of financial dommes aren't dominant, it's just a way to make money.

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