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are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 1:42:45 PM   
maysubgirl


Posts: 61
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline 		if  a  slave  make mistake  her dom  have option either to punish her  or  forgive her ...  slaves normally beg for  mercy etc etc ... so its easy for  slave .... but what if  a  dom make some mistake  ??slave can simply  run out of  dom's life .

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 1:50:48 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Or the Master might admit a mistake or perhaps He won't.  Sub/Slave can leave if she wishes we are here by consent and can withdraw the consent.  Personally i would not lol want to be the one to point out a mistake made by the Doms i know unless i was granted permission to do so.  There again pointing out a mistake is not my job.  My job is to serve and please and i have met few in the vanilla world or here that are pleased when their mistakes are pointed out.

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 1:55:01 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
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quote:

ORIGINAL: maysubgirl

if  a  slave  make mistake  her dom  have option either to punish her  or  forgive her ...  slaves normally beg for  mercy etc etc ... so its easy for  slave .... but what if  a  dom make some mistake  ??slave can simply  run out of  dom's life .




Well, in that context.....a *dom* also has the option of *running*......but that all seems rather silly.

If a *dom* makes a mistake ..it's not really beyond the realms of possibility that he could utter the words...* I think I made a mistake*.....Heaven won't implode, the sky won't fall down and the moon will rise again...........lol

( and... no, Master, I know I won't hear those words....lol )

agirl

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 1:57:04 PM   
maysubgirl


Posts: 61
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline 		but why  a slave get punished for same mistake while dom not

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 2:02:44 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Everyone makes mistakes, to think a Dominant is free from that is living in a fantasy and if one is involved with a Dominant who cannot admit to making a mistake, I'd say, time to rethink things.

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 2:08:29 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: maysubgirl

but why  a slave get punished for same mistake while dom not


Erm.......That's the nature of the beast....lol

What would you suggest the situation ought to be if a dom made a mistake?.....You punish him?

Edited to add....

If I make a mistake, I don't get punished, actually. If I intentionally or wilfully disregard rules or instructions, then I will get punished.

The same situation doesn't apply to my Master, cos he's the boss....lol

agirl


< Message edited by agirl -- 7/21/2006 2:12:26 PM >

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 2:12:47 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		That's why we call it a power imbalance, rather then egalitarian.

A Dom knows that he will lose his power base, if he does not make corrections.

That is the control.

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 2:15:57 PM   
LaTigresse


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Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: maysubgirl

but why  a slave get punished for same mistake while dom not


I don't know about anyone else but when I realize I have made a mistake I am far harder on myself than anyone else could be. Especially if it involves another person.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 7/21/2006 2:16:20 PM >

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 2:18:49 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
If a *dom* makes a mistake ..it's not really beyond the realms of possibility that he could utter the words...* I think I made a mistake*.....Heaven won't implode, the sky won't fall down and the moon will rise again...........lol
agirl
Who's to say the sky won't fall down?   Why take the chance?   M

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 2:22:07 PM   
agirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: maysubgirl

but why  a slave get punished for same mistake while dom not


I don't know about anyone else but when I realize I have made a mistake I am far harder on myself than anyone else could be. Especially if it involves another person.


I'm not terribly hard on myself if I make a mistake...I like to put them right as swiftly as I can, though.
agirl


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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 2:24:12 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl
If a *dom* makes a mistake ..it's not really beyond the realms of possibility that he could utter the words...* I think I made a mistake*.....Heaven won't implode, the sky won't fall down and the moon will rise again...........lol
agirl
Who's to say the sky won't fall down?   Why take the chance?   M


LOL...... Best not, eh?.......grin

agirl

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 2:48:42 PM   
Jnj


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Joined: 9/28/2004
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First, I don't think punishment/forgiveness are the only two options my owner has when I make a mistaken. Often, he searches for a reason the mistake happened, and if he finds one, we work together to solve the problem -- sometimes that means physical discipline, but it can also mean memory building exercises, clearer communication, or some other method that involves fixing the problem, not fixing me.


Second, I don't think that dominants get off scott free when they make a mistake. They do experience punishment, it simply isn't generally physical or from a third party. When my owner Jim makes a mistake that unintentionally harms me, he feels that, and it hurts him. He doesn't walk away unscathed, and personally I think someone beating themselves up emotionally is generally a harsher punishment than an ass paddling.

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 2:57:15 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		fast reply,

This is my opinion (disclaimer up front).  A mature dominant is going to know that he isn't perfect and makes misjudments and even acts poorly at times. If he values the respect of his submissive then he is going to apologize if he does something wrong. Because the power is his he has the responsibility to be self correcting. He accepted this responsibility when he signed up to be a dominant. In a way it is the  harder role to play within the relationship because he is assuming responsibility for you and for himself. Like any parent knows, it is not easy to discipline those who count on you, those who love you, and those you only want the best for... at times this is necessary. That is why I say a good dominant can admit to their own mistakes and take responsibility for them... a good parent does too. A good parent doesn't punish because they want to or because it is easy, they do it because they care. That to me is what a good dominant does too... and dominants that discipline wisely will have to do it rarely. A dominant that is wise will address his own failings before he points out yours... just my thoughts

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 3:32:00 PM   
LeatherBentOne


Posts: 469
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline 		juliaoceania,

I agree whole-heartedly.  That's what humility is all about and keeps us from getting too cocky. 

It's much more difficult to apologize than punish when the time comes that a Dom/me is at fault.  However, I think that its more difficult for a sub to understand and amend her mistakes if s/he sees that her/his Dom/me doesnt understand and make amends for their behavior but places it on his/her sub.  Does a Dom/me who does this, think the sub is not intelligent enough to know where the source of the problem arises from?  Hardly.

I have no problems if a sub asks to speak her/his mind and heart, explaining in a soft and respectful way, that she/he is having a problem she needs to ask for my input.  The best way to sound non-judgemental to me is to use the words, "I feel such and such, when I do such and such."  It takes away the blame, the Dominant saves face and the submissive receives expectations.

LeatherBentOne

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 3:36:39 PM   
SaphireLynn


Posts: 145
Joined: 2/15/2005
Status: offline 		Now another question for you maysubgirl why do you have 7 Masters/Mistress? Can one not handle you? Does it take 7 to control you?

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 3:39:31 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: maysubgirl

if  a  slave  make mistake  her dom  have option either to punish her  or  forgive her ...  slaves normally beg for  mercy etc etc ... so its easy for  slave .... but what if  a  dom make some mistake  ??slave can simply  run out of  dom's life .


it's not punish her OR forgive her!  It could be both it could none or it could be either.  It might even be something different.

NO slaves don't normally Beg for mercy etc etc etc.! 

making mistakes is part of being a human being.  be you Master slave, or the garbage man.  Mistakes are made.... and consequences occur.... there is not magical universal rule on this is what Masters do and this is what slaves do.

If you expect your Master to be prefect... you will fail them when they need you most!

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 5:13:26 PM   
desertdancer


Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: maysubgirl

if  a  slave  make mistake  her dom  have option either to punish her  or  forgive her ...  slaves normally beg for  mercy etc etc ... so its easy for  slave .... but what if  a  dom make some mistake  ??slave can simply  run out of  dom's life .


Who-ah whoa whoa, slow down here spunky, I absolutely DO NOT beg for mercy.  If I've messed up, then I take whatever punishment that is coming to me and I try to do so with grace.  There is NO squirming or wheedling or begging out of punishments.  Nor is there just up and leaving Master for punishing me.  In fact it's quite the opposite, if he takes his time and energy to punish me for my misdeed, I THANK him. I do not run from him, but turn and embrace him for loving me enough to correct my behavior.



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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 5:31:13 PM   
peta


Posts: 29
Joined: 7/20/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: maysubgirl

but why  a slave get punished for same mistake while dom not


Hmmmmmmm, Let me see.......because He is the Boss???????

ROFL

peta

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 5:53:08 PM   
Fawne


Posts: 462
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: maysubgirl

if  a  slave  make mistake  her dom  have option either to punish her  or  forgive her ...  slaves normally beg for  mercy etc etc ... so its easy for  slave .... but what if  a  dom make some mistake  ??slave can simply  run out of  dom's life .


Dear may:

If only it were that simple. Respectfully, we are all human. Personally, I admire a Dominant who is strong enough to admit a mistake. Anyone can make mistakes, act out, have a bad day etc.  No one is super powered and bullet proof. The boss does have a heart too, ya know ;)  
I humbly admit to having made many silly "mistakes" and yeah, it hurts when I goof up etc. It is not the punishment I fear, but the fact I have disapointed someone special. Now, I can only work on bettering myself as a person- one with a slave heart.

Besides people care. We get attached. D/s is powerful stuff emotionally and isn't always easy.

Good luck to you, fawne

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RE: are slaves more safe than dom's - 7/21/2006 7:21:15 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: maysubgirl
if  a  slave  make mistake  her dom  have option either to punish her  or  forgive her ...  slaves normally beg for  mercy etc etc ... so its easy for  slave .... but what if  a  dom make some mistake  ??slave can simply  run out of  dom's life .

No one is more safe, certainly not in terms of dealing with the consequences of their actions.  While the sub may not have the authority to say "go sit in the corner" the dom DOES have to deal with the negative consequences of their mistakes and ill behavior.

And anyone can end a relationship.

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