Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 4:30:20 PM   
earthylaughter


Posts: 15
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline 		Hello everyone. I don't post here often, in fact only have posted once to the introduction board so far. But....

Not extremely often, but frequently enough that it is bothersome, i find a Dom that contacts me by email treats me with no respect, orders me about in the first email, is rude or just very abrasive. Actually treating me more as a disobediant child, or as if i was an owned slave that deserved chastizment.

What is up with that? At first meeting? Do these men really think that is attractive? Is it to other women and I'm the weird one??

questioning minds need to know
earthylaughter
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 4:39:32 PM   
enthralled


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Nashville, Tn
Status: offline 		Hmmm ... I'm a little confused. Are you talking about just an email, on a first meeting, or do you see the two as the same??

If it's just an email, why get upset? It's JUST an email.... hit delete and choose not to let it bother you

~enthralled

_____________________________

A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's.-Jean Paul Richter

(in reply to earthylaughter)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 4:46:14 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Like everywhere, there are those who will act in an appropriate manner, treat you with at least the respect that a person should have, and even perhaps prove helpfull and be mindfull of your ststus. On the other hand there are thoise who haven't any manners and possible are clieless as well. These are ignorant pillocs and should be avoided at all costs. Emails? Block and delete. There are naturally a who mass of Dominants who are spread between the other two.. Beingon the net the idiots can wrek havoc and be abuseve to all for they remain hidden in cyberspace with out the courage to show their actions and attitude in face to face situations where other more ballaced BDSM folk can witness and even deal with them.. 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to enthralled)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 4:54:13 PM   
Controladora


Posts: 10
Joined: 7/14/2006
Status: offline 		There are rude people in all areas of life, both Dominant and submissive.  Although you don't appreciate that sort of communication, there are indeed some who like and seek that sort of treatment.
 
If its not your cup of tea just delete the e-mail and continue. 
 
Controladora

(in reply to IronBear)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 4:55:16 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		Some people have a fetish for blowing thier feet off with shotguns.

(in reply to Controladora)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 4:55:29 PM   
mp072004


Posts: 381
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline 		Submissives should treat dominants with courtesy, but not deference. Dominants should behave similarly toward submissives. Really, just act as though you're meeting a friend of a friend or a new (equal) coworker.

If a person conducts himself in a way you dislike in the initial email, that just indicates to you that you're not compatible. It's a pretty efficient way to get rid of people you don't want--just delete the email, or give a brief "Sorry, not interested" reply. If you really want to respond further, tell people why you're refusing them when you refuse them, e.g. "I'm not interested in talking further because I found the hostility [or other nasty behavior] demonstrated in your initial email [insert example] unattractive."

Monica

(in reply to earthylaughter)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 4:58:19 PM   
sharainks


Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		I hate to be the bearer of bad news but e-mails get a whole lot worse than what you are describing. 

(in reply to mp072004)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 4:58:50 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		You got what is referred to a "wannabe" or a "horny net geek" who thinks that WIITWD is simply a way for them to treat submissives as if they are owned by any and all who describe themselves as Dominants any way they choose.These kind of people make it easy for you to know them for what they are, so hence it cuts back on you wasting your time, for they are all too stupid to actually be able to fool any intelligient submissive for even a modicum amount of time.So I say woo hoo for the stupid idiots, they make it all so easy to spot them..be well..Tempting

(in reply to earthylaughter)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 5:03:23 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear earthlylaughter,
 
Like most others that have been in your place and in your stage of being on Collarme.com; the unfortunate fact that some people have no clue on what they are doing, as they flood mail boxes with the first group send to a batch of submissive women or women in general, with the attitude of 'on your knees [insert any label desired].  Such people don't get it--that slaves/submissives are not automatic door mats and must submit to every e-mail dom about.
 
Just consider the source and look beyond such individuals.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to earthylaughter)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 5:05:08 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caretakr

Some people have a fetish for blowing thier feet off with shotguns.


... or sitting on the barrel and pulling the trigger (I hate that when that happens)

I agree with IronBear.. some people are just oafs.



_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to Caretakr)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 5:12:07 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		This would be an excellent opportunity for us to hear your earthly laughter as you click the buttons that make them go away.

Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to earthylaughter)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 5:24:47 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Me thinkest old cobber of mine, that we mayest hearest "UN-earthlylaughter" at the button clicks. What say thee? 

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 5:52:29 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline 		dear earthly
i know exactly what you mean i put up with arrogance as cute when lets face it only a masochist can apply to it ;most people dont like arrogant persons  at all...
so thank god for us!
but to me its personality embedded ;
so i expect it sometimes,but , i have been lucky and had tops who knew me intimately first ;were sophisticated;demure;were attractive no matter what and worshiped ;anyone else knowing me as slave/ masochist who didnt respect me ,at all,and just booted out orders ,and public degredation ceremonies were deviant outcasts to me;
they can go have a nice day without me
i need clear understanding of who i am ,if they are to be understood of their position 
;lets face it no matter what the relationship with no respect ;there is no love for you, so forget it ;they really dont know you and dont want to ,so there's no relationship possible.
how can you respect a top who doesnt respect your  image.
one time a professuer at college said: "masochist ;youre not gonna get much out of ,THAT relationship".... ,so i always remembered that....
maybe tops get unattracted to us too....,so they act unattractive enuff ,for us ,not to function w/ them.
one question i have is :do all slaves like to be trod upon;do you ? does, that have anything to do with your name ,earthly,?
are m's a dime a dozen?

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 7/16/2006 5:55:17 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to earthylaughter)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 6:02:05 PM   
champagnewishes


Posts: 1310
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Orange County
Status: offline 		There is always one thing i can count on....every time i think i have heard it all, it's not long before someone else comes along and says it cruder and ruder.  Being the level headed person i am, i delete one with no more nor any less emphasis than the previous..

_____________________________

Nirvana cannot be described, it is only understood truly by a person who has experienced it.


(in reply to jamesthehumanrug)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 6:14:37 PM   
irishbynature


Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: earthylaughter

Hello everyone. I don't post here often, in fact only have posted once to the introduction board so far. But....

Not extremely often, but frequently enough that it is bothersome, i find a Dom that contacts me by email treats me with no respect, orders me about in the first email, is rude or just very abrasive. Actually treating me more as a disobediant child, or as if i was an owned slave that deserved chastizment.

What is up with that? At first meeting? Do these men really think that is attractive? Is it to other women and I'm the weird one??

questioning minds need to know
earthylaughter


When I get "odd" emails such as "Bow before me little one, I am a Dom"...I normally hit "Delete" and laugh...sometimes in fun I've been very bratty and replied, "OH YEAH!!!...I'm an INSTA-SUB...JUST ADD WATER!"...then I block their name from my account.

*Giggles*
Irishbynature


_____________________________


What seems nasty, painful, or evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength, for those who have the vision to recognize it as such. Henry Miller


(in reply to earthylaughter)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 7:14:30 PM   
deltadawn


Posts: 224
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: earthylaughter

Hello everyone. I don't post here often, in fact only have posted once to the introduction board so far. But....

Not extremely often, but frequently enough that it is bothersome, i find a Dom that contacts me by email treats me with no respect, orders me about in the first email, is rude or just very abrasive. Actually treating me more as a disobediant child, or as if i was an owned slave that deserved chastizment.

What is up with that? At first meeting? Do these men really think that is attractive? Is it to other women and I'm the weird one??

questioning minds need to know
earthylaughter


The wonderful thing about emails is you can just delete and block.  Enjoy that feature!!

dawn

_____________________________

Beneath his wings, I can fly.

(in reply to earthylaughter)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 7:41:16 PM   
popeye1250


Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline 		Earthly, it's just a rude and immature thing to do.
When I write an e-mail to someone on here who I don't know  but would like to, I try to be as polite as I can and to tell them a little about myself that may interest them.
My purpose is to attract them not repulse them!
I don't know why some guys are like that, probably inexperience or maybe a "wannabe."
In my opinion you should be mostly vanilla until you get to know someone and you both trust each other.
As for that "Cyber" stuff I have no interest in it.
As another poster said; "some net geek wannabe."
Just delete and move on.

(in reply to deltadawn)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 8:26:13 PM   
MisterBAR


Posts: 4
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Hey, my friend - what they said. Delete and move on. A Dom should be a gentleman first and foremost. There is more power to the restraint shown in proper, polite behavior, than in all the attempts to claim non-existent power, by brazenly asserting it and making clear that there is actually nothing but wishful thinking there.

Regards
MisterBAR

(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 8:41:04 PM   
outlier


Posts: 1111
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		Dear earthylaughter,

First of all I must tell you you have chosen a wonderful name.

I believe the answer to your question is that being anonymous
allows some individuals to behave in a way they would not dare
face to face. They do not speak or act for all of us.

The sort of person who sent you those emails is a bane to all
of us. Not just you and the other ladies who have to read them.
But also those of us who are trying to reach you and others like you.

I suggest that in addition to block and move on you take the
initiative and search among the profiles on the other side and
then you can initiate contact with the sort of person with whom
you would like to have a dialogue.

This is simply a time when you cannot let the bad rob you of the
opportunity to reach the good.

All the best with your search.

Outlier


(in reply to popeye1250)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned - 7/16/2006 8:41:22 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

"OH YEAH!!!...I'm an INSTA-SUB...JUST ADD WATER!"...


Are they selling those retail yet? I thought you still had to special order them from Domme Depot?

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to MisterBAR)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Correct Dom behavior to a sub that is not owned Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.188