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Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 3:57:59 AM   
JessieMe


Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		Ok..I am sure this has been said and done before but I am in an ornery mood so here it goes again...

Can we PLEASE get rid of the term "wannabe / want to be" from this lifestyle? It annoys me to no end that everytime someone doesnt get their desired reaction from someone, said second someone becomes <gasp> a "wannabe".

Maybe its just me but I believe there is nothing wrong with a wannabe.. we ALL started out that way. It should not be a term of derision, merely an indicator of education. If there were no "wannabe's", this lifestyle would have died a fast / slow death long ago. I agree there are ways of going about learning in this lifestyle, but how do people learn if all we do is label them in derogatory terms and toss them out as worthless without even giving them the benefit of accepting their need for education in some area.

ARRGGHHH!!!!

OK>. rant over.. anyone have any thoughts on this?

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That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 4:05:10 AM   
KennelDeSade2


Posts: 210
Joined: 9/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JessieMe
Can we PLEASE get rid of the term "wannabe / want to be" from this lifestyle?


I started out as a wannabe.  Then I determined to be a gonnabe.  Now, I are an am.

Are we all clear on it?  lol


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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 4:06:45 AM   
JessieMe


Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		Absolutely clear Kennel.. welcome to the club <wink>

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This is who I am
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That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 4:06:53 AM   
wandering4u


Posts: 167
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline 		Good point from a past wannabe. Maybe the true term should be "pretendstabe"

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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 4:07:05 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		That works only for those people that get past the wannabe stage.  Some of them never do, never want to, never see themselves in that way.

What do you propose we call them?

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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 4:08:18 AM   
SirCumsSlut


Posts: 433
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JessieMe

Ok..I am sure this has been said and done before but I am in an ornery mood so here it goes again...

Can we PLEASE get rid of the term "wannabe / want to be" from this lifestyle? It annoys me to no end that everytime someone doesnt get their desired reaction from someone, said second someone becomes <gasp> a "wannabe".

Maybe its just me but I believe there is nothing wrong with a wannabe.. we ALL started out that way. It should not be a term of derision, merely an indicator of education. If there were no "wannabe's", this lifestyle would have died a fast / slow death long ago. I agree there are ways of going about learning in this lifestyle, but how do people learn if all we do is label them in derogatory terms and toss them out as worthless without even giving them the benefit of accepting their need for education in some area.

ARRGGHHH!!!!

OK>. rant over.. anyone have any thoughts on this?


JessieMe,
 
After reading this post I have to agree with you in regards to lumping all those NEW to the lifestyle as "wannabes or want to be's".  As you said we all have to learn sometime, and imho that is why we call those wanting to learn "Newbie's" and those looking for wanking material "wannabe's or want to be's". 
 
I do understand where you are coming from, (at least I think)  We as a community deal quite a lot with being "judged" by others outside of the life, and yet here "we" are instantly jumping to "judge" others and that is a definite, let's see, oximoron, bigotted(spelling), two faced, whatever we want to call it.

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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 4:09:22 AM   
JessieMe


Posts: 510
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

That works only for those people that get past the wannabe stage.  Some of them never do, never want to, never see themselves in that way.

What do you propose we call them?



quote:

ORIGINAL: wandering4u

Good point from a past wannabe. Maybe the true term should be "pretendstabe"


LOVE IT!

_____________________________

This is who I am
And this is all I know.
That I must choose to live for all that I can give
The spark that makes the Power grow
<Immortality by Celine Dion>

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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 4:12:02 AM   
ScooterTrash


Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

That works only for those people that get past the wannabe stage.  Some of them never do, never want to, never see themselves in that way.

What do you propose we call them?
I usually refer to them at the "wannabe's, that will never be"

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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 4:12:53 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with SirCumsSlut.  We are judged an awful lot.  Is that why some are so quick to judge?  Everyone is just a person and there are many different kinds of people in this world.

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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 4:46:50 AM   
NastyDaddy


Posts: 957
Joined: 9/8/2004
Status: offline 		It do get confusing with judgeabee's nailing wannabee's pretending to be somebodee's...

Jeesh, why can't we all just get along and bee happy sniffing each other's asses?

Lookout!... there went yet another killerbee...  or was it just another africanized honeybee... not sure, better just kill em' all! 



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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 4:50:37 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Well...that'd be ok if there weren't idiots out there doin shit to people that causes them harm and naming it dominance, or idiots suckin up every kind of abuse that causes them harm and namin it submission.

Hey, maybe we should call them idiots!!!

That won't work, that's what I call my ex-husband and his only kink his forgettin ya ain't supposed to get your niece drunk and fuck her, even if she is over 20.

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 4:54:37 AM   
Tamerofwild1s


Posts: 1765
Joined: 12/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

That works only for those people that get past the wannabe stage.  Some of them never do, never want to, never see themselves in that way.

What do you propose we call them?


 "Couldabeens"

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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 4:59:09 AM   
sharainks


Posts: 499
Joined: 12/13/2004
Status: offline 		Idiots work for me feastie, they come in bdsm and vanilla both.  Heres the dictionary version.  http://www.wordreference.com/definition/idiot   I like some of the others too, cretin, imbecile, etc

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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 5:26:28 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Someones wannabee is another persons somebody.
 
Most humans want to rise themselves above others - name calling is just another fact of that.
You can tell alot about a person who uses these terms.
I dislike terms like wannabees, newbies and vanillas - I do not use them unless it is the only way to communicate with another person who uses such slang.  And even then it makes me uncomfortable, but ease of communication has to take priority at times.
 
Peace and Rapture


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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 5:53:01 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		I do disagree .dark. Referring to someone as vanilla or newbie is no different from referring to someone else as gay, experienced or M/s.  The words themselves are not derogatory although the motivation behind the word may, indeed, be meant in a less than flattering fashion.

Just because someone uses it doesn't mean you can glean an idea of their character unless you know the motivation behind the use.

If I say sub X is a newbie, but sub Z is experienced, does that speak to my character or to the experience levels of those particular submissives?

My son is vanilla, my daughter is M/s. I don't believe speaking the truth here is denigrating to my son or up lifting to my daughter.. it's just the way of things. If that speaks to my character in the eyes of some, I would venture to say that it's only because they don't know me so are putting their own perceptions onto my motivations.

Celeste

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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 8:04:13 AM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Oh, I completely agree that the terms if used -  are not always derogatory - depends on who uses them, but at the present time - people do use it as though they are some terms of lesser people - and that is what I am uncomfortable with.  I don't agree that they are the same as using the word gay, however, because it isnt used by the non BDSM community, whereas 'gay' is used and accepted and made to be that communities own specification.  My discomfort comes from giving labels or words to people who do not accept them within the normal flow of their life - that is just me.  If someone describes themself as 'vanilla' - more power to them and I will respect their wish to be called that - but I haven't met anyone as yet who likes it - so that hasnt been an issue.
 
Peace and Rapture


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...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/15/2006 9:47:48 AM   
trippingdaisy


Posts: 113
Joined: 6/3/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Very good point, actually. :)

i dislike the term myself, as well. We were all 'newbies' at one time, we were all wanting something. i can't help but notice that a majority of the time, the 'wannabe' term is used too often for those that just aren't educated/experienced enough in and about the lifestyle, and so, they're judged.

People have to learn somewhere.


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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/16/2006 5:36:41 AM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		In days long past  when most bikers were bikers and not just Sunday afternoon riders and motorcycle always meant a Harley we had a term for wannabes, we called them Prospects.

They were people who wanted to be a biker or a patch holder but had just started out so an older rider would guide them through the learning process and have a little fun tormenting them along the way. But it was understood these prospects who learned the codes of honor and brotherhood would one day be accepted as bikers themselves.

Of course there are always those who never learn, so maybe we could call them prospects until they prove they are incapable of learning then we could take Scooter’s (Master) suggestion and call them never will bees.



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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/16/2006 5:40:05 AM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		hahaha NastyDaddy,

Did you hear the scientific  'prevention' for being killed by the Africanized bees.. make sure you are with people who run slower than you do.... honest to god... I was dying laughing (maybe because I run so slow?)!!

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RE: Terminology Rant - 7/16/2006 5:51:47 AM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		In answer to Feastie, I believe we'd use the word voyeur. 

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