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Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 3:53:35 AM

NINASHARP

Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline

Hello all,

Since being here I’ve seen a lot of topics discussed over and over again, and I’m not saying I’m annoyed by this, because sensitive issues are always open for discussion or a new point of view, in my mind. Yet, I find that if I’m looking for something specific that hasn’t been brought up in the last few days of “discussion,” I use the “search message” function and find more than enough reading material for 3 days. I can honestly say, I am never bored here and learning through the words of the wise/er.

It is strange that I find that I’m now also thinking differently about certain things, that before I may have never question myself on. Having a light bulb moment from some of the members here. I also see a lot of elder members in older threads, and it appears some who have opinions that far differ from the stance they have currently.

So my question is, in discussion here on such forums, has anyone stopped themselves or changed their mind about what they were about to do or maybe have done, because of the thoughts and views and opinions posted by others? Ok I am prepared to get a lot of yeah I now use my block function now, but maybe by approaching an idea with a little more clarity thanks to the openness of these forums?

Nina

Post #: 1

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 4:05:07 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I don't hesitate to ask or speak---heavens knows I've gotten more than My share of flaming---however, I do stop and think about questions---its at times hard to get them across in the written word or to try and give them a new "face".

I have found for Myself though that some of My ideas have changed as others have opened My eyes and I have become more enlightened. I personally like it here, I find it informative, amusing and a great place to destress---well most of the time!

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to NINASHARP)

Post #: 2

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 4:05:35 AM

enthralled

Posts: 249
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Nashville, Tn
Status: offline

My opinions vary from others on many many topics here. At times, in this venue, opinions are perceived as people being told that they are wrong, that they are being judged, or that the opinionated person is being self-righteous when it's JUST stating a personal opinion.
So........ unless I'm feeling really masochistic, yes- I've changed my mind about posting just to avoid misunderstandings

~enthralled

_____________________________

A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another's.-Jean Paul Richter

(in reply to NINASHARP)

Post #: 3

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 4:11:47 AM

NINASHARP

Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline

Actually, you have been one of the many that have had an eye opening effect on me!

Edited for stupidity.

< Message edited by NINASHARP -- 7/13/2006 4:17:25 AM >

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 4

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 4:15:19 AM

NINASHARP

Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline

Yes I have wondered if I should ask things or post in an area I can relate with, because of how my opinion might be viewed by others members, however a few replies later, I sometimes find myself not having that opinion that I would have orignially replied with. And sometimes someone will say the same thing I would have said, but better.

< Message edited by NINASHARP -- 7/13/2006 4:18:03 AM >

(in reply to enthralled)

Post #: 5

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 4:21:33 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

There is only one issue which a thread on here got me to make a 180' on. Like many starting out on sites like this one, I began by thinking it was a lack of manners behind the number of mails that go unanswered.

Of course the first few posters tried the "Your wrong because I say you are wrong" which got treated with the distain it deserves. However later others brought up very valid points which I had not prieviously considered. I altered my stance and attitude on the topic.

I can't be browbeaten, I'll take on all comers in such situations because I actualy don't give a flying fig about what others think of me. You want to change my mind, you need to win the argument. Show me why I am wrong and I'll happily learn from it.

However I think you mean do I alter what and/or how I say things because of concerns about how others will react. The answer is no. Sometimes I will take a softer tone, sometimes a harsher more abrasive one.... that isn't about how others will react but about what I am trying to do. If I feel someone needs their attitude challenging, I challenge it. If I feel they need reasuring, I reasure.... I don't spare a second thought about what 'peanuts from the gallery' the post might get.

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to NINASHARP)

Post #: 6

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 4:37:11 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline

There are topics or issues that I do feel differently about today. Part of the reason that I come to these boards is to learn. The diversity here offers the perfect setting. Just because I have been doing this a long time does not mean I am incapable of learning more...or learning differently. If someone states an opposing or differing view...or just comes at something from a different perspective...and their words strike a chord, of course I very heavily weigh my thoughts against theirs. If theirs make more sense to me at this point of my life, then it does have the power to change how I feel. I have learned a lot here...sometimes about lifestyle issues...sometimes from someone older and wiser....sometimes from someone brand new....sometimes I have even learned about myself. I hope I never stop.

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~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

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"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to NINASHARP)

Post #: 7

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 4:37:12 AM

twicehappy

Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

I think you reached the heart of the reasoning behind the forum boards.

I am fairly sure the open debate and discussion has caused more than a few of us to alter our perspective from time to time. Often it is simply a chance to look at the varying issues from another angle.

Reading what others have posted gives us an opportunity to glimpse inside the minds of others like us, allows us a peep at our opposites and promotes a better understanding for those who take this as a resource to do so instead on a chance to begin a war.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to NINASHARP)

Post #: 8

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 4:41:05 AM

cynthiamarie

Posts: 205
Joined: 3/11/2005
From: Bluefield, WV, USA
Status: offline

quote:

So my question is, in discussion here on such forums, has anyone stopped themselves or changed their mind about what they were about to do or maybe have done, because of the thoughts and views and opinions posted by others?

While I was writing my anwers in this forum? No. I read everything posted by everyone else before leaving my own post, and the enlightenment happens before I decide what to post.

As to how these forums affected me in my daily life...I'm new to the lifestyle and often to wish to see as many sides to something as I possibly can, before I decide what action of my own to take. Recently I wanted to learn how to handle subdrop better, and spent over 3 hours hearing what everyone in these message boards had to say about it these last few years. I appreciated all the wealth of information...and took it to three subs I know to show them that they are normal and not freaks. We will all deal with it better in the future...there will be chocolate and fruit juice in my toybag as well.

The influence spreads wider than we think...

I often talk with my cousin about D/s and things I'm learning here, and on my own...and she will be joining CollarMe soon.

She also had a surprise when her 17 year old started sporting a collar, and because of me, she understood the significance, had a talk with him and found out that he was a sub and had an online Domme he'd met on MySpace.com. I'll be mentoring her, and later, him.

(in reply to NINASHARP)

Post #: 9

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 4:58:45 AM

NINASHARP

Posts: 295
Joined: 4/23/2006
From: NJ/NYC
Status: offline

Fast reply,

TY all for responding, I have found myself recommending the forum to others also. It is very educational, without actually witnessing the physical, but getting a chance to live through others by looking at things from another's mental/emotional pov. Though when I don't respond in threads, and I read what others here say, sometimes I want to reach out and shake the OP for not getting it, because of the obvious train wreck signals the thread has.

Nina

(in reply to cynthiamarie)

Post #: 10

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 5:10:58 AM

KennelDeSade2

Posts: 210
Joined: 9/19/2004
Status: offline

Nothing makes me more happy, than to have some fact or viewpoint presented that changes my mind or proves me wrong. Learning from my mistakes and being enlightened by the experiences of others is one of the things that proves to me that I'm still alive.

_____________________________

Rules? Just one: I say, she does.
Everything else, is just details.

(in reply to enthralled)

Post #: 11

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 5:32:00 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

I have been enlightened on more occasions than I can remember. There are many people I hold in high esteme and would have no hestiation or have any embarrasement in contacting them privately to ask for information, assistance or help in matters here. I too often reccoment CM Forums generally to newish people and the Gorean Lifestyle Forum to those who share that bent..

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to KennelDeSade2)

Post #: 12

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 6:24:31 AM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

There are any number of things that I have begun to question in my short time here. People like Iron Bear have made me realize that there are islands of sanity in the Gorean world. I have seen a teeny tiny speck of what I might consider to be females in actual slavery/servitude in a relationship that seems to actually be healthy. I have also seen this board as a mirror to see myself in a fresh light and gained perspective on myself as well.

Thanks to all for your thoughts.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 13

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 6:32:03 AM

MistressOfGa

Posts: 2929
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

There are any number of things that I have begun to question in my short time here. People like Iron Bear have made me realize that there are islands of sanity in the Gorean world. I have seen a teeny tiny speck of what I might consider to be females in actual slavery/servitude in a relationship that seems to actually be healthy. I have also seen this board as a mirror to see myself in a fresh light and gained perspective on myself as well.

Thanks to all for your thoughts.

Crappy Dom,
I havent read the whole thread yet, but this little snippet caught my attention on the "Quote scroller" and I had to come and respond to you. I have seen a huge difference in your writing since you first started posting here. I have gradually seen your acceptance here. Like the commercial once said "You've come a long way baby" lol

_____________________________

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 14

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 6:45:26 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

I have found that it is only an Opinion if everyone agrees. If not, it's then a Judgement :)

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Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to enthralled)

Post #: 15

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 7:32:38 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

I think people tend to be influenced, whether mildly or greatly, by their environment and surroundings. I think it would be difficult not to be influenced by hanging out, even in an online forum, with a group of people each day, reading and absorbing various opinions and such. Whether a blatant "Oh my GOD, I never thought of it that way," or a subtle slow nudging of the mind, exposure to new ideas and concepts ultimately helps us shape our own, even if only by a slightly clearer understanding of something we do not agree with.

(in reply to NINASHARP)

Post #: 16

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 7:36:36 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I really love reading thru the forum threads. As much as I am sure it seems I am blabbing inanely and making no sense I do read ALOT. If a thread is really significant to me and I can contribute nothing productive, I often just read and follow it. I sometimes get a little pissy at the attitudes I see about there being nothing to learn on here as I have learned alot. I know that hands on, face to face is incomparable but I also think that there is alot of value by listening/reading to others. It is usually pretty easy to see who is full of themselves and only thinks they know what the hell they are talking about versus those that are speaking from experience. They are at least good for a few laughs.
Quite a few people on here I have been known to read a thread just because I saw they contributed. Either for a tidbit of info or for a few giggles.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 17

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 8:01:56 AM

JohnWarren

Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline

As I've said before, prior to coming to this forum, my opinion, based on real world interpersonal contact and online observation, was that the Gorean groups didn't contain serious sane people.

I know accept that there are a number of Goreans who seems to have made it work in a real world situation. That's a pretty significant change in my outlook.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to NINASHARP)

Post #: 18

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 8:14:29 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

I have grown by influence from here as well as many other places. Reading other's opinions and comments causes me to examine my own beliefs and WHY I have those beliefs. One of the things I've discovered off forum is that we hate or love ideas, people and concepts because we subconsiously hate or love those things or characteristics in ourselves, but don't see them. So, when I run across something that just burns me up or that I really, really like, I can look at it and try to uncover something from my hidden shadow (our shadow is that piece of us that is hidden from us...it contains both positive and negative). One of the things that has happened along these lines is my total adversion to Female Supremacy. I've had to look at why I find that abhorant. It's been an interesting trip.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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(in reply to NINASHARP)

Post #: 19

RE: Is there influence in these forums? - 7/13/2006 10:05:38 AM

hizgeorgiapeach

Posts: 1672
Status: offline

There are some people on here who's statements and opinions are far more apt to potentially influence how I look at something than others. There are also some whom I can honestly say that their opinions/statements are generally read simply because I know it's going to give me a chuckle and a sneer towards the moniter. (Nope, not gonna name any names on either side of that coin lol. The ones that I admire don't need the propping up, and the ones that I detest would simply ignore it.) I can't say that my opinion has (as of yet) been significantly changed on any given subject. Though my understanding of certain other perspectives about those subjects has certainly increased significantly. Even in the couple of months that I've been actively posting, I've noticed changes in myself - not the least of which is finally accepting within myself the simple fact that I don't want and won't tolerate (In My Own Life Only) things that I wanted a great deal in my past. And even that statement, looking at it, isn't 100% on the mark. In small ways, I still want certain things. I've simply come to accept that those things don't particularly work for me, and most likely never will, so why bother to continue striving for something that has consistantly made me miserable in the past?

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Rhi
Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Essential Scentsations

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