RE: Older experienced Doms (Full Version)

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SusanofO -> RE: Older experienced Doms (7/12/2006 5:06:52 PM)

Age just isn't an issue for me, it has never been. I think I could date someone 60 as easily as I could date someone 30 - it makes no difference. It might matter to the other person, bit it certainly doesn't to me.

- Susan



LadyHugs -> RE: Older experienced Doms (7/12/2006 5:20:15 PM)

Dear BitaTruble,
 
Your disagreement is perhaps not understanding what I posted.  Age maturity and 'scene' or 'lifestyle' maturity are to different things and the standards for age and standards for lifestyle/scene marks 'age' or maturity in the scene.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear Kara, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In my mind's eye it boils down to personal preferences of the type of men you wish to associate with.
 
Indeed it is true, there are many men who are older but as virgin as one can be when it comes to the lifestyle and or experience in the BDSM arts.  Unfortunately, age causes assumptions because of what our mind and our social teachings have us believe.
 
Age does give maturity however, one must consider that scene/life style age has it's own markers of maturity.  Each have qualities to which a person must decide what preferences are to be made.
 
Often I do ponder, as I have young lads approaching me 30 years junior to me or older, what they seek in me.  I am equally sure it works for any gap in ages and genders.
 
I am currently talking to a lass from California who is 49.  Close in age, a slave and brought up in the Leatherman venue so, we do have many markers to reference, standards we recall and such, as to make it a very pleasant match.  Although preference is towards men--a slave is gender neutral so, I can indeed picture myself with a female slave.
 
Perhaps the summary of this would be, that you will never know if regardless of preferences, the one who matches so close to what you seek, the package of the one you seek may come as a total surprise.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs


Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs



sublizzie -> RE: Older experienced Doms (7/12/2006 5:22:35 PM)

At my age there just aren't a whole lot of Doms who are older than me. The majority, by far, are younger than me. I have no problem with a Dom who is within 10-15 years either side of my age. Age is just a number in my mind. I know some people who are much older than me who act like small children. I know some very mature, responsible people in their 20s. Since my progeny are in their 20s, having a Dom who was their age would be.....difficult.



Mavis -> RE: Older experienced Doms (7/13/2006 1:28:29 AM)

Things i love about males over 45, be they Dom, sub, or neutrals:

Their Kids are usually grown.
They are over taste-testing every beer ever brewed and racing Fords for pink-slips.
Some of them have nice bikes, They can afford Harleys or Goldwings.
They understand Why Stevie Nicks is hot, Pink is just cute.
They have that little bit of silver at the sides, or they sport the shine.
Yoda-Speak some do well.
The AARP discount comes in handy!
They have been bosses, and they have been grunts. 
They respect both positions, and it shows in how they treat others.

(ok, to be fair, young men share much of list list, but they haven't "settled in" yet, and that is what makes all the difference.)

i would rather serve a newby Dom of 45+ than an experienced Dom of 25, because i think there is something about "time on planet" that tempers the male mind.  If they have the general personality for Dominance, they have the life-background to be able to learn the Domli-skills and Topping stuff.   Just avoid the Mid-life Crisis years! 

(exceptions always exist, and duly noted)



enigmabrat -> RE: Older experienced Doms (7/13/2006 1:34:30 AM)

Honestly even when dateing in the venilla world I always sout out men older then myself i guess in my eyes the man should be older dunno why



srllile7 -> RE: Older experienced Doms (7/13/2006 3:03:48 AM)


Im younger, 22 and it seems if I went for someone younger then I then it would be feasible to say they do have less experience and maturity. I do believe in the old souls so maybe maturity is questionable. But experience there is still the point that 18 year olds haven’t yet been able to rent their first apartments, buy alcohol (in my state at least), or legally cohabitate with anyone of legal age lol. So I think for me right now older is defiantly what I look for, this was in my vanilla relationships as it was when I started looking for a Master. Im attracted to older men I find it seems to stay with in a 10 year range as I slowly get older lol, but just being 4 years past 18 well see what happens in 10 more years. But that is the other point I don’t know, id even say I don’t think that 10 years or 20 years from now I would still be primarily looking for older men.

However 'the have it all together factor' isn’t the only reason I like older men either, granted it is a factor but not the only. Sexual I find the older men more attractive. I wouldn’t say it’s a daddy kinda thing ,because in actuality if the men get over 45 I’m usually not interested because they remind me too much of my dad, well except for Brad pitt (grins hehehe). But still there is some underlying sexual appeal for me.



feastie -> RE: Older experienced Doms (7/13/2006 3:32:15 AM)

I prefer men in my own age range.  Too much older and they're closer to my parents ages (not appealing) and too young, they stir up my maternal instincts.  I have my search set for men between the ages of 35 and 50.  Naturally, I may consider someone just the other side of that search, but not much.



NINASHARP -> RE: Older experienced Doms (7/13/2006 4:23:37 AM)

My former Master.. is 23 years older.  I enjoyed the maturity he brought into the relationship, for unlike most of the men who were with-in my age range, he was always a gentleman first, and always treated me and his other subs, like ladies. For instance, he always opened doors for me, and pulled my chair out in restaurants, assisting in taking my coat off, etc. There were so many things to the level of his maturity that brought out a certain respect for him not just because he was my Master, or because of old guard mentality (he wasn’t old guard but understood those who were), but because he had dignity and integrity and displayed a kind of chivalry that is hard to find in younger men today. Yes, he had many experiences in life which gave him quality, but I think that it was his patience that made me attracted to him, he took time with me to explore my desires and fantasies as long as they coincided with his own, and didn’t, as he would put it,  go into it, “In a bum’s rush.”

Nina



irishbynature -> RE: Older experienced Doms (7/13/2006 4:48:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kara

As a sub i am drawn towards Doms that are older than myself.  Any adds i see where the Dom is younger i tend not to post too.  The groups i have been too there also seems to be a good proportionate of Doms older than their subs.
 
Is that a tendency amongst subs to look for older Doms?
 
Just wondering kara


Kara, I certainly understand you post/question. When I began dating in college, and thereafter,  I dated men my own age and it never seemed to 'click' for me. I then dated men who were 5 to 10- to 15 years older. I got along better with them, understood them and vice versa, and things just clicked more. The same was true w/ the friendships I established with female friends.

I often asked myself why I was drawn to them. Finally, I realized that (for me),  they'd seen more, and had more life experience...not necessarily wisdom, they just had been through more of life's highs/lows. As a child, I was thrust into the adult world of responsibility and decision making and my emotional maturity level had to quicken more so than many of my same-age friends.  Although I had friends in high school and college, I never identified with 'issues' of my same age level. I found I was often the advice giver and the caretaker, so to speak.

Warmly,
Irishbynature
FSSP




ownedgirlie -> RE: Older experienced Doms (7/13/2006 7:16:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

...sitting on a park bench.....


Hey I know Jethro Tull when I see it!

As the youngest kid in a large family, I grew up relating to people older than me.  But I will agree that age is not indicative of wisdom or experience.  I've been equally impressed/unimpressed by those on both ends of the age scale.



wild1cfl -> RE: Older experienced Doms (7/13/2006 7:19:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

...sitting on a park bench.....


Hey I know Jethro Tull when I see it!

As the youngest kid in a large family, I grew up relating to people older than me.  But I will agree that age is not indicative of wisdom or experience.  I've been equally impressed/unimpressed by those on both ends of the age scale.


Knowledgeable about Jethro Tull, very impressive LOL no matter what age you are !!



ownedgirlie -> RE: Older experienced Doms (7/13/2006 7:36:32 AM)

Ha!  Why thank you!  [:D]



KennelDeSade2 -> RE: Older experienced Doms (7/13/2006 7:57:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sub03
There is a really big age difference between me and my Master. I wont say exactly what it is because I have already been flamed for it before on these boards, but I didnt originally start out looking for someone that much older then me. I've dated people my age and one that was a lil younger then me.


Let them flame.  If asked I would like to say that I've got an age floor of  35 as a guideline.  I'd like to say that, but having a collared slave six years younger than my daughter made me realize that I needed to bring my guidelines a little closer into line with my reality.  How could such a thing happen?  We had common interests, we talked, we met for lunch, we decided that we might meet and play maybe twice a month for a few hours.
So much for quaint resolutions.  It had been three years since I'd put a collar on anybody, but at the end of nine hours, I put one on her.  And she really looked great on a chain under my desk.

How will it end?  I've no clue, but if you ask in 20 years I'll be happy to let you know how everything turned out.  No, she isn't collared to me any longer.  Some things have their time, and end.  But love and friendship can be forever, even if a collar can't.  So if people have a problem with the age difference, it's only because you are happy, and they aren't, and it's the only thing they can think of to point out in an effort to make you just as happy as they are.

Living well, is truly the best revenge.



Kara -> RE: Older experienced Doms (7/15/2006 3:08:23 AM)

I would like to thankyou all for your replies, as you can see i have  been away so its nice to read through all of the messages.
Thanks regards kara



porchia -> RE: Older experienced Doms (7/15/2006 3:46:58 AM)

     Maybe it is all just an age thing---my first Dom (i was early 20's) was ten years older than me.   my second Dom i was in my early thirties was a couple years young and now that i am pushing forty my Dom is just my age---younger by a couple months.   i'll have to admit that this relationship has been one of the best.   Simply because we find more things to talk about.   We grew up in the same era.  
   i once had an older Dom ask me if i remembered the tv show 'My Friend Flicka".   i was wrong Flicka wasn't a dolphin that was Flipper.   But He didn't know who HR Puffenstuff was either probably cause he was working some job on Saturday mornings while i was laying on the couch in my feet jammies, watching that big Orange whatever he was (a dragon i guess).  
   The point is after experiencing both sides of the fence---at two different periods of my life---i think i am content to stay right where i am---with my same age.    



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