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RE: pain vs tenderness - 7/12/2006 8:05:09 AM

Driver1961

Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
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He enters, dips His lid,

Umm, nice thoughts here and all of healing, LittlePita, place your fears behind you for in your One's presence He embraces your being with protection...without ridicule but in care and respect for you as worthy of His presence.

I realize pains of past are difficult to reconcile and could go on about child development theorists but will say, we all have locked away our inner child experiences to some degree and utilize our 'since'learning to protect ourselves, often protecting ourselves inappropriately and entering the Lifestyle challenges our 'locked away' inner child. It can be an easy or extyremely difficult process and its success is based upon a Dominant's ability to communicate, analyse and diffuse inherent (inner child) misunderstandings or damage that have shaped our behaviour.

tenderness, caressing, it's difficult for me to explain, it almost feels like a lie that i am not willing to accept. i mean i know that i am worthy of tenderness, kindness, consideration, and caressing but why do these things cause my heart to ache... i would much rather endure a beating and think that it is more positive than these other emotions? This being a valid example. You may know you are worthy but you have to ACCEPT WITHIN that you are worthy...

We all function daily with irrational thoughts and identifying this improves our wellbeing. Congratulations to all on growth.

Warm regards
Driver1961. Sir to His loving Wildchild, (and her nemisis innerchild hence her pet name!)

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RE: pain vs tenderness - 7/12/2006 4:14:42 PM

OTKkindaGirl

Posts: 447
Joined: 12/26/2005
From: NW Arkansas
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i appreciate everybody that let me know, that my feelings are not that uncommon. most of the people i surround myself with in my life are dominant or alpha types. just attracted to the strength i suppose, so i don't really have submissive friends that i can talk or share with. i honestly believe you are all beautiful people, i thank each and every one of you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. bless you all.

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RE: pain vs tenderness - 7/12/2006 5:32:24 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I think that you cry because you're in a place that you know is safe to do so.

This is exactly what I was thinking. I have certianly felt this, and recognized that it was my adult barrier going down, and feeling as safe as child with a loving parent. Very cathartic!

quote:

It is something that occurs when I am with someone that I am in a committed relationship with where I feel safe to just let it all go. When the tenderness happens and you see that he has compassion for you...it's kind of like permission.

What a wonderful and rare feeling. Something I sure miss right now. ::sigh::

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RE: pain vs tenderness - 7/12/2006 6:45:55 PM

denika

Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
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I relate completly. I have a hard time crying,
I don't know if it was that whole 'stiff upper lip' up bringing I had or what, but I find it almost shameful, as if I failed myself when I cry.
That I am weak.
Put it in play tho, add in what is happening to my body and I can let it go I can sob and let out things I have held back and was afraid to release. One of the most powerful plays I have ever experienced involved coming to terms with my mothers death in January. Accepting that I couldn't change her fate and to really and truly greive for her. I hadn't even realised that her death was such an issue hovering in the back of my thoughts. I was filled with sorrow and did what every good Brit would ,I tucked it away in the back of my mind, nice and tidy and clean. Unfortunatly doing that it was just waiting to come out, day to day stress built up, one bad call at work after another and I couldn't keep that tidy box of greif tucked away any more and my Top helped to pull it out, I never gave my self permission to truly grieve for her or cry with such abandon. I felt as if a heavy coat had slid off my shoulders. I knew I was safe, and He wouldn't let me hide from myself.

denika

< Message edited by denika -- 7/12/2006 6:48:26 PM >

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