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RE: Married or other vanilla relationships - 7/8/2006 10:23:51 PM

michaelGA2

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i would have jumped at the opportunity, but unfortunately Her "reply" was alittle overbaring and forceful for my taste. meaing She was a little "harsh" in Her reply to me so i passed

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RE: Married or other vanilla relationships - 7/8/2006 10:32:49 PM

GoddessDustyGold

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michael, unless your situation has changed, and I am unaware, you also limit yourself in the fact that you do not go out. You have no transportation, you do not get to any local munches, you don't want to ask for a ride, and you stay pretty much holed up with your computer as far as this lifestyle goes. You want a Domme, but you really don't do anyting positive to make it happen.
Yes, having the vanilla g/f will limit your potential with some Ladies, but there are people out there. You need to be more proactive, as well as happy, confident and aware of what you specifically offer. I think you are still somewhat hazy on that, and you have so many reasons why you can't do this or that, or won't do this or that, that it gets tiring. In other words, you present the negative side of things, instead of the positive side, i.e. "This is what I can't or won't do" as opposed to "this is what I can and will do". I agree that the Lesbian Domina might have been a good match. Then again,. maybe it wouldn't have worked out. But what happened? It sounds like that possiblity died very quickly and you need to ask yourself why, so that you can get things turned around and make the next good possibility more than a fleeting chance that fades away.

**Edited to add: You were posting when I was, so now I guess we have the answer. That one was a little too harsh for your taste.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 7/8/2006 10:35:00 PM >

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RE: Married or other vanilla relationships - 7/8/2006 10:37:52 PM

michaelGA2

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let's just say that Her tone was rude and i felt threatened by Her.

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RE: Married or other vanilla relationships - 7/8/2006 10:46:48 PM

MistressOfGa

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quote:

let's just say that Her tone was rude and i felt threatened by Her.

Unbelievable.

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RE: Married or other vanilla relationships - 7/8/2006 10:48:03 PM

michaelGA2

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perhaps, but it is true, Ms. Karen

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RE: Married or other vanilla relationships - 7/9/2006 12:27:15 AM

jamesthehumanrug

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well greetings ,my question is: what's more salient? being single ,or vanilla ,when you present yourself?
couples are safe-mistakes ,cause, they enjoy picking on the single one ,and, support each other ;the arrogance is quite attractive ,to most masochistic- personalities ,but, who has time for "vanilla" ,when looking ,for apeal ;everyone knows vanilla practices are just after the meat factories ....

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 7/9/2006 12:30:04 AM >

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RE: Married or other vanilla relationships - 7/9/2006 12:51:13 AM

Wickad

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Joined: 3/12/2005
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Hello micheal,

I have to say.... I am looking for an attached male slave. I am finding it hard to find a male slave who is not fucking around on his partner.

That being said, you do not qualify for me because you are 1) a submissive, 2) live to far away, 3) into some things I'm not (though this could be worked around if you were closer), 4) not into some things I really am into, and 5) I'm not sure if there is a 'click' between us having never met you.

Possibly these reasons, or a combination of some of these reasons and/or maybe some not mentioned are the reason you are not finding what you seek. Not availing yourself of every opportunity to 'show-off' your submissive skill set probably isn't helping either (aka going to local munches and fet. events).

I hope you find what you seek.

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RE: Married or other vanilla relationships - 7/9/2006 1:07:28 AM

michaelGA2

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you're probably right, Ma'am. am revamping my profile (with help, thanks Goddess) after discussing things with gf i am making some changes.

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RE: Married or other vanilla relationships - 7/9/2006 3:56:20 AM

twicehappy

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I think possibly because both partners who are married are looking together, not apart. While in your case it appears your vanilla girlfriend is not involved which many consider to be cheating or at the very least an issue in your being able to fully commit to a D/s relationship.

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RE: Married or other vanilla relationships - 7/9/2006 5:47:53 AM

MsSonnetMarwood

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The reality is that attached/involved/married subs bring a lot of extra issues to the table that a single sub does not.

~ limited schedule
~ limited emotional availabilty and overall relationship potential
~ the Domme is MAYBE # 4 on the list (after partner, job, kids) and that's not a position many Dommes would be happy with - hard to have authority over someone that way
~ issues between the sub and his partner affect the relationship affect the relationship between the sub and Domme so the Domme has to deal with issues that are not specifically hers (i.e. jealousy, etc)
~ the hassle of setting up and meeting the partner which can be very awkward

My bottom line is that in order to put up with a very limited relationship with limited potential, the sub in question needs to show me that they are really worth the extra hassle it is to deal with them rather than a single submissive. And frankly, that's where many subs fail miserably - in showing what they bring to the table.

And since this is another why-can't-Michael-find-a-Domme-thread, I'll also point out that having no transportation and apparently not working on resolving that, having no experience, being rejecting of any positive suggestions to help himself, and generally having a poor attitude towards Dommes and life in general doesn't help.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 7/9/2006 5:50:02 AM >

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RE: Married or other vanilla relationships - 7/9/2006 8:05:55 AM

diamonddreamlove

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Married staying that way and he is vanilla. We have an open marriage and through our discussion have come to the conclussion that both worlds have problems to some degree with marriage. Our committment does not undermine who we are and requires even more honesty than simple vanilla as we have found. I think you just have not found the right Domme. As for asking my spouse and if i can obey a Dom/Master that does not happen any more than he asks if he can go on a date. Is not the easiest situation but i see it as two different loves. Both are equal just different just as one might love 2 different animals or children in different but equal ways. I do understand that the poole of Doms interested in me because of my marriage may very well be smaller but then i also have certain preferences that shrink that poole and i don't plan to be dishonest about those things either. Don't know You so don't know what You say before a meet or during a meet but either way for me i spill it cause i don't want the Dom or myself to waste time when we both could be finding someone more compatable. The wait can be long but is worth it.

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RE: Married or other vanilla relationships - 7/9/2006 9:34:23 AM

MistressOfGa

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quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelGA2

you're probably right, Ma'am. am revamping my profile (with help, thanks Goddess) after discussing things with gf i am making some changes.

This is exactly what I am talking about Michael. You have to discuss things with your girlfriend before making any changes. This would include, before doing anything your Mistress tells you to do. I am not saying you cant have a girlfriend, but she has to realize that she may come second at times.

From your journal entry:
"every day i come online and occaisionally, i see someone in my city...unfortunately, i do not fit into thier criteria...maybe it's because i'm in a relationship and do not hide that fact from people here or my gf or, perhaps it's because maybe they want something i cannot provide...SEX. is it just me or are there alot of oversexed people here?"

You act like you hate sex. I wouldnt call myself an overly sexed person, but I do enjoy it and I do make sure I get it. You seem to think that the only reason a Mistress wouldnt want you is because you wont have sex with her, hogwash! It is your attitude Michael. It is the way you present yourself in your journal writings and your profile. None of which have anything to do with whether you will have sex with your Mistress or not. But one thing that is certain, I don't know any dom who will put up with being told that she cant have a part of her submissive.
On your "interests", you hardly have anything listed that includes bdsm activities. You have alot of hobbies, music and sports. Your hard limits have nothing to do with this lifestyle. You have shared alot of information about you, but nothing to do with why you are even on this site to begin with. As a Mistress, I look at the interests of the submissive I am interested in. I want to know if we are going to be compatiable in the areas of why I am on this site. If I want to know about their vanilla interests, I will ask, but I want to know right off the bat if a submissive likes to be restrained, likes anal, likes spankings, ect. Hell, isnt that why we are on here? To meet like-minded people? I see nothing in your "Interests" that suggest you like anything related to it.
In short, why are you here Michael? What is it that you hope to find? I would like to see that listed on your "Interests" page.

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