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D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 3:45:30 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

I wrote this for an ezine I participated in. It held my thoughts aabout my situatinand how D/s enhanced my situation and made it a bit more bearable. I share it with you now. I've copywrighted it in case I ever write a book :) This slave is with me to this day :)
******************************************************
I can't walk in heels..so I'll wear them when I sit.
Sometimes my hands fumbled with a knot or putting on his parachute.. he'll quietly reach down and helped.
When I'm tired.. he puts his own "needs" aside and sits an rubs my feet or simply lays his head in my lap.
On my "good days.. I can flog with the best of them. On my not so good days.. I'm fortunate to have a friend who will assist :)
The most difficult thing was to have him push me in a wheelchair for the first time, while visiting a friend in the hospital. I don't walk long distances so I'll catch a ride if there is one available. I was so embarrassed and I told him so. He told me it was an honor to serve me in this fashion too. I sat a little taller, but oh my pride!
Where were my clothespins? Where was my flogger?? How the hell am I a dominant in this situation?? I should be the one up on my feet.. he should be on his knees! MS in a Double Aries has got to be one of God's better jokes. Talk about humbling.

It was then I learned- we have something very special.
It doesn't matter that I need a "toy" (wheelchair) on occasion. I had surgery last year. When I was looking like crap in the hospital, he told me I was beautiful.
When he had to go in for a couple surgeries also, I was there in acceptance for him also. HE felt badly not being able to "serve" me. He's as bad as I am at self-flagellation.

Did I go get another slave to fill in until he recuperated? Nah- they're too hard to
housebreak.. I could wait.

It's not the trappings of dominance or submission that makes you what you are.. YOU make you what you are. You are no less or more than each other. It's not about the individual..it's about the unit of both. A blending of souls. The caring.

"They, too, serve.. who sit and wait".
Property of LotusSong copywright 2001 All rights reserved

"The highways of life are full of flat squirrels who couldn't make up their minds."
-Unknown

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

Post #: 1

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 3:56:24 PM

MistressTheaZ

Posts: 155
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline

I like to read things like this, LotusSong. So much of what We read (and write) at times is centered around the issues and difficulties We all are having; nice to take a moment in gratitude of what We *do* have.

Thank you for posting it. ;)

Best,

~Thea

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 2

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 3:58:03 PM

zumala

Posts: 1121
Joined: 6/16/2005
Status: offline

Very sweet.

zuma

(in reply to MistressTheaZ)

Post #: 3

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 4:21:19 PM

LadiesBladewing

Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline

This is a great post. I, too, have MS, and had it on both sides of the collar in the same enclave I'm in now. No matter which side I've been on, our servants and my mate (and our gentlemen when they were alive) have been extraordinary. In the same way, I hope that I have also been exemplary towards my mate, who has severe endometriosis, endometriomas on both ovaries, and a failed hysterectomy that caused endometriosis implantations throughout her abdominal cavity and in and around her intestines. Several days a month, she is completely crippled, and a second surgery to correct the first surgeon's mistakes is complicated by extensive adhesions, making even the outstanding GYN who is working on providing the surgery for her nervous about trying to get everything cleaned up without doing more damage. We make it clear to prospective servants that, if they have an issue with attending to their goddesses' physical bodies during illness, they will be uncomfortable in our house, because when one of us is having issue, everyone chips in to make life easier and sweeter for the one in pain.

I consider myself blessed to be in the family that I am in.

I've provided pastoral care to several couples ravaged by illness. It is disappointing when I encounter situations where one who has yielded or who has taken on the responsibility for another willingly is cast aside when xhe develops an "inconvenient illness". On the few occasions I've encountered this, usually because I'm working with the one discarded, trying to help them to find resources to assist them in their struggles, it has been a reminder to count my blessings yet again and make sure to tell those with whom I share life how much they mean to me.

One of the most difficult cases I have ever had to deal with, on a personal level, was an amazing dominant, with a quick wit and a ready smile, and a true "presence" who was discarded because of pancreatic cancer. This dominant was married to the individual in the submissive half of the relationship without a prenuptual agreement, and was left destitute when the submissive half filed for divorce, took the house, the savings, and the car as the "half" of the marital assets, since all the liquid assets were tied up in medical care, and had the police literally -evict- the dominant, by the submissive individual claiming fear that the dominant would cause injury out of anger. (Now I have to clarify -- this dominant was undergoing heavy chemoradiation prior to having surgery for the cancer, and was not a large person to begin with.). I'd been seeing them as a couple since the dominant was diagnosed (about 4 months prior to this), and when the dominant individual showed up on my doorstep with no where to go, I was shocked. I wasn't shocked when the dominant died of post-operative complications 2 months later, though. To this day, I swear that the cause of death was a broken heart.

No matter what happens to our family, they will not be abandoned -- thru surgery, illness, emotional turmoil... we wouldn't have it any other way. Even our "temporary" trainees are cared for when they're ill, and aren't asked to leave just because of illness. The ones who do choose to cut their service short are always kept in our thoughts and prayers, and we check in occasionally to make sure they're doing alright and don't need our help in any way. To me, this is just what seems "right".

ZWD

_____________________________

"Should have", "could have", "would have" and "can't" may be the most dangerous phrases in the English language.
Bladewing Enclave

(in reply to zumala)

Post #: 4

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 4:24:27 PM

DoctorDubious

Posts: 267
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

It's not the trappings of dominance or submission that makes you what you are.. YOU make you what you are. You are no less or more than each other. It's not about the individual..it's about the unit of both. A blending of souls. The caring.

Hey Lotus, and all....

Sometimes I get all wound up
and write thousands of words...
in my personal journal, a blog or 2,
even the forum here in recent times.

You captured, for me, the whole thing
in those 45 wonderful words up there in red.

Thank You

DD
PS, I come from one of the MS hotspots
of the world, southern Alberta,
and have seen it a lot, in friends and family.

I have seen it ennoble the spirit
of a few who have it,
and it appears to have done that for you.
Bravo.

Be well.... in your heart,
which is where it matters most.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 5

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 4:29:14 PM

Curiossdragnlily

Posts: 105
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline

Very well said Ma'am. Y/you B/both are very fortunate P/people and You are very wise. You are very correct with saying that it isn't the trappings. It is what Y/you are inside for B/both the Dominant/Master and the submissive/slave. That is what makes U/us W/who and what W/we are.
with respect,
lily, collared and owned slave of Master Curios
srn 308-692-331

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 6

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 4:50:13 PM

givemyall

Posts: 620
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

Its not often that you read a post like this - its from the heart - thats nice!

I can't say that I understand disability, I dont think anyone that hasn't been there, or dealt with it 24/7, can possibly do that without making it sound condescending (my opinion). But thank you for sharing your post. We all live our lives, and we think that the bad things are never going to happen to us...who honestly believes that we are going to age and that the old lady doddering in the supermarket queue is going to be them? I cant imagine myself as someone that one day will need help - we are all eternally young arent we?

Your post has touched my heart and made me realise that beyond all the shit, there are some wonderful people out there.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 7

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 5:01:20 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

To me this is what a true..(yes that word..eekk) D/M/s/s relationship is all about, not just the good and fun times.But the trials and tribulations that befall us all at one time or another.The caring for ,on both sides of the whip so to speak, either the submissive caring for her/his Dominant in crisis or the Dominant caring for his/her submissive the Dominant who does not see this as beneath him, the submissive who wont abandon him/her because he/her is unbale to be oh so strong at these times..My best to you and yours..truly inspirational...Tempting

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 8

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 5:17:23 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
It's not the trappings of dominance or submission that makes you what you are.. YOU make you what you are. You are no less or more than each other. It's not about the individual..it's about the unit of both. A blending of souls. The caring.

This is beautiful and its exactly how in my opinion relationships should be. I don't think its all *about* one person, it should be about all the parties that are involved and they should all work together to hold each other up when times get rough.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 9

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 6:21:11 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

It is a wonderful, heartwarming tribute to both of you.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 10

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 6:50:42 PM

MasterCurios

Posts: 156
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline

i applaud you both for sticking by each others side thru the good as well as the not so good...i preach this to many but it still does wonders to read such posts as your thank you!!!!

_____________________________

may the pain be with you

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 11

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 8:33:14 PM

jonathan

Posts: 196
Joined: 8/5/2004
Status: offline

i was on the phone with my Goddess when She mentioned You and i told Her of Your new OP. i read it to Her over the phone this evening (EDT). i think that this ought to be required reading for many who aspire, especially 24/7. They might get a clue.

~still a whole squirrel

_____________________________

jonathan
http://www.slaveregister.com/000-515-587

"But in purple, i am stunning!"
"Before You slip into unconsciousness, i'd like to have another kiss, another flashing chance at bliss, another kiss, another kiss"

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 12

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 8:38:18 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

I am so sorry to hear about your MS. I can only say I admire your courage.
Of course you can be a Dominant; I'll bet you're a wonderful Dominant.
And isn't it nice when you have asubmissive who realizes your inner strengths and beauty?

That's the dividing line, isn't it? Whether someone is really going to be there for you in a very challenging situation, or bail. That really separates the sheep from the goats, in my opinion. So glad you have found one who will be there, and that you reciprocate, too - they are just as lucky to have found you.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 7/8/2006 9:19:35 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 13

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 8:49:24 PM

reticence

Posts: 180
Joined: 2/28/2006
Status: offline

Thank you for this inspiring post. It brought tears to my eyes. Keeping a committment is easy when things are going well, it is during the difficult times that one's mettle is really tested. I can only hope that I will be as courageous and worthy as the two of you if I am ever in a situation such as yours. God Bless

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 14

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 9:01:23 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

Nice! To me that is what a relationship is supposed to be all about; helping one another!
If I had a sub lady who was living with me and became ill of course I'd want to take care of her! Bath her if that was neccessary, cook meals, get medicines whatever needed to be done!
I'm a "kind" Dom who protects and cares for my sub and that would mean especially in illness!
I don't understand how someone could just abandon someone who was sick. That is the time when you need to stand up and be counted!

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 15

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 9:01:58 PM

Irishblu

Posts: 61
Status: offline

For me, this is what I call "unconditional". Your service, your protection, your love, your everything (depending if you are a D/s or M/s) to the other person in your relationship is completely and totally UNCONDITIONAL! You don't judge a person by their health or wealth. You accept them for who/what they are and are there for the long haul.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. MS isn't an easy disease to live with. Not that there is any that is easy.

Be safe and be well,
irish

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 16

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 9:04:52 PM

wild1cfl

Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

Truly a moving story, my wife and I are touched by it and wish the best for you both. Truly a remarkable relationship you both have.

_____________________________

Wild

My Falcon now is sharp, and passing empty; And, till she stoop, she shall not be full gorg'd, For then she never looks upon her lure. Another way i have to man my haggard, to make her come and know her keeper's call. Wm. Shakespeare

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 17

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 9:07:26 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

To The Lady LotusSong,
You are the epitomy of what every Femdom should strive to be.
I am proud to know you, and I thank you for being so generous to share this with all here. I agree with My boy, jonathan, that this should be required reading for all who aspire to this sort of relationship. My best to you, and your lovely boy who I am also privileged to know. This is the relationship we are working towards, and it is wonderful to have these feelings put into such beautiful words.

~another squirrel who is still three dimensional.

To The LadiesBladewing,
One of the first things I try to discuss with any boy under consideration are health and family issues. We are all human, and acceptance of the tougher times is very important. Such a shame that so many do not have the time or the inclination for that much of a committment. Thank you for sharing, also.

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 18

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 9:12:19 PM

LadyShoshin

Posts: 492
Joined: 7/19/2004
From: Burlington, Ontario
Status: offline

Thank you for sharing that, I am going to post a question of my own, but you have answered for what life can be like in a D/s relationship where health issues and disabilities are a part of life.

_____________________________

PHLOX: “It’s unethical for a doctor to cause harm...I can inflict as much pain as I like.”

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 19

RE: D/s In sickness and in Health - 7/8/2006 9:16:58 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

That was so beautiful it made me teary.... thank you so much for sharing it.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 20

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