quote:

ORIGINAL: AlexisANew

Interesting about facing the pain but never owning it. But I have to ask about a thread I read on here or perhaps it was on FL about rape. The first woman declared that she was raped by an uncle and then more and more women came forward and revealed they had also been raped. The rapes grew more horrifying with one woman declaring that she'd been raped half a dozen times, had her pelvis broken in one of the incidents and left for dead. The thread felt alarmingly competitive and I will openly admit that doubt started crossing my mind.

Doubt is one of the reasons people choose not to declare their inner trauma. Are we, the listener, going to put it down to histrionics ? and can they take that risk ? Remember beth from Merc and beth? she recently wrote a post on the other side about telling someone about her past and the person came back with, 'that was good but needs a little more work'. People who tell all take the risk of their truth being rejected and if part of their past trauma is 'rejection', I can't start to imagine how that would feel.

I think there are many dominants that need therapy but your right, to lead openly and with confidence you have to be free of any demons or at least like you said, 'own it'.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AlexisANew

DaddySatyr, I tried to send you a private letter but it looks as though your mail box is switched off?

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ORIGINAL: pg4g

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ORIGINAL: GoddessManko

LOL...right...

From re-reading his and your posts, you took everything SwitchBloke said, and turned it into something else.

He said he has trouble communicating.
You said he was being deceptive.

He said he held back cos he didn't want a dom to go through the motions for his sake. He wanted the dom to actually want to do it.
You said he was being manipulative.

He said he found someone pressuring him in an interrogative sense to be helpful to order his thoughts.
You said he had a kink and he was twisting his dom to do it. If he was twisting his dom, why didn't he even mention it? He said he wasn't mentioning anything at all! Specifically BECAUSE he didn't want a som to go through the motions for his sake.

You said this:

quote:

You said "he doesn't care". "My first Dom tied me to a chair and interrogated me". You stated in your OP LITERALLY that unless this Dom does the same you're going to purposefully miscommunicate until he fulfills this kink. It is incredibly dishonest and yes, you should come clean.

Actually, he didn't say that at all. He said that he couldn't form what he felt into words, it always came out wrong, or he'd only be able to get out the easy portion. That's not "purposefully miscommunicating" - that's being UNABLE to do so.

All I see is you taking everything he said out of context.

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ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Many highly introverted people have trouble talking about their emotions, what they want, what's bothering them, etc. They may have a few things they can converse about (like a favorite hobby) but it tends to be an issue across the board when trying to communicate.

Even trained therapists can have a hard time with this type of person.

If this sounds like you, you're not alone.

I suggest buying a cheap notebook and calling it your journal. Write in it everyday, it can be basic stuff like where you went, what you ate, anything you can come up with. If you get in the habit, I think eventually you will find your journal is a place you can say anything to anyone.

I would make a point to keep that journal private, unless you come up with something you want to share with your dominant.

Over time that sharing *might* become easier.

As for wanting your dom to interrogate you, you could want that for a long time if you can't tell him about. I did get a bit of you thinking your dom should be able to read your mind about this. That's an unrealistic expectation in my book.

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ORIGINAL: GoddessManko
Can you please stop addressing me as if a one worded answer was an invitation to start a shameless display on the forum?
I'm above this type of nonsense and I choose to withdraw, thanks.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

Many highly introverted people have trouble talking about their emotions, what they want, what's bothering them, etc. They may have a few things they can converse about (like a favorite hobby) but it tends to be an issue across the board when trying to communicate.

Even trained therapists can have a hard time with this type of person.

If this sounds like you, you're not alone.

I suggest buying a cheap notebook and calling it your journal. Write in it everyday, it can be basic stuff like where you went, what you ate, anything you can come up with. If you get in the habit, I think eventually you will find your journal is a place you can say anything to anyone.

I would make a point to keep that journal private, unless you come up with something you want to share with your dominant.

Over time that sharing *might* become easier.

As for wanting your dom to interrogate you, you could want that for a long time if you can't tell him about. I did get a bit of you thinking your dom should be able to read your mind about this. That's an unrealistic expectation in my book.

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ORIGINAL: SwitchBloke

I agree, I'm a bit like this. I'm going to try journalling. I can get my thoughts out better writing them. Thank you.

To GoddessManko, you keep saying I didn't try and I was being deceitful, but I did try.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SwitchBloke

Throughout my life I've always found it very difficult to put what I have to say into words. One day, someone tied me up to a chair and started asking me questions, sort of interrogating me. I found this very relieving... that someone was interested enough in me to go to all this effort to get to the bottom of matters.

I'm just wondering, am I alone in this?

My partner is dominant and won't ask me any questions. Just doesn't seem interested, and I feel bad volunteering stuff because it either comes out wrong or I only tell half of the truth... the half that isn't difficult to say. I feel like he lacks interest in me, that if he really cared he'd be pushing me for information, that he'd not be going "ok" to the few deep things I told him about my past that are very difficult for me to discuss, like abuse and stuff, and then the next moment acting like I'd just told him the sun is out outside.

Am I stuffed up for wishing the guy would push me, and interrogate me to get me to open up? And should I tell him about this, that it's helpful? I feel like I'm just basically telling a dominant how to get through to me, and he'll do it just cos I asked. Whenever I suggest things, he seems to just do them as a matter of courtesy. I feel like he'll be doing this as lip service... like if he cared he'd actually try and find out this stuff instead of having it handed to him.