RE: Patience IS a needed virtue

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RE: Patience IS a needed virtue - 7/7/2006 2:54:07 PM

IronBear

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I'm going to look at this from a different perspective MH my friend.. In toay's fast moving preasured society Patience may be a virtue for those who have time to persue virtues. For the rest it is a basic survival skill they need to learn or be drowned with the hurrah of life...

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RE: Patience IS a needed virtue - 7/7/2006 8:08:06 PM

jonathan

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i'm very new to the boards, but old in the search arena, and patience always seems to become a topic. There's been a lot in a similar vein going on here lately, and even among serious candidates there is still weeding to be done. i think that the lack of it is part plain lacking in simple civility, part no appreciation that others have lives, and part a byproduct of the instant gratification that this society breeds. The instantaneous nature of the Internet just fuels it. Unhappy? Take a pill. Want something? Buy it, now. Why wait, satisfy yourself.

"yes I want time, I want courting, I want slow walks along shady lanes, I want slow food restaurants, I want lazy days in the hammock---"

A mutual acquaintance of ours feels the same, and that's why we're getting so well. We get it.

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RE: Patience IS a needed virtue - 7/7/2006 10:22:48 PM

juliaoceania

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fast reply

Isn't patience a subjective term anyways? I think people have different time frames in their mind about what "fast" is. For example it is not unusual to meet people that dated for a decade before they actually got married... I would not exactly call that rushing into things. In fact I sense a lot more reticence to actually commit these days than there seems to have been in the past... this speaks to me of not a lack of patience in this society, but a lack of commitment to things. We seem collectively afraid to commit.. hence there are more singles out there than ever! I think it is important not to allow ourselves to confuse patience with fear of commitment.

Like I said, I am a patient person, but by the same token do not take me off the market when you have no intention of buying me. It is unfair.. and I have been through this "have patience" garbage in the not so distant past... So there is a healthy patience which is a virtue, and then there is throwing good after bad, which is not a healthy thing at all...

Just my thoughts

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RE: Patience IS a needed virtue - 7/7/2006 10:59:08 PM

ExSteelAgain

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Now that sounds like a message to me. :)

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RE: Patience IS a needed virtue - 7/8/2006 4:14:57 AM

GoddessDustyGold

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

fast reply

Isn't patience a subjective term anyways? I think people have different time frames in their mind about what "fast" is. For example it is not unusual to meet people that dated for a decade before they actually got married... I would not exactly call that rushing into things. In fact I sense a lot more reticence to actually commit these days than there seems to have been in the past... this speaks to me of not a lack of patience in this society, but a lack of commitment to things. We seem collectively afraid to commit.. hence there are more singles out there than ever! I think it is important not to allow ourselves to confuse patience with fear of commitment.

Like I said, I am a patient person, but by the same token do not take me off the market when you have no intention of buying me. It is unfair.. and I have been through this "have patience" garbage in the not so distant past... So there is a healthy patience which is a virtue, and then there is throwing good after bad, which is not a healthy thing at all...

Just my thoughts

I understand what you are talking about, Julia. But I think we are actually referring to two different issues here that are strangely related.
Patience is about taking the time and making the effort to build something that will enable a strong commitment. And you are right. That timeline depends on the individuals involved.
The lack of commitment or the inability to even think about anything beyond the quick fling, or the short term relationship is where much of the perceived lack of patience comes in. There seems to be no need, because, if it doesn't work out, one can just move on? Right? Wrong! At least for Me it is wrong. I want something more than that.
I have too many boys who want to take shortcuts. They begin by ignoring any guidelines in My profile. They request immediate IM or cam. They say they are ready to move, and want to serve Me as a no limits slave for the rest of their life. Yada, yada, yada...These are all immediate turnoffs for Me.
These types of attitudes come from either a lack of ability to court a women or a need for instant gratification. If it doesn't work out, no harm, no foul. But that is not so. There is no patience for journaling, emailing daily, waiting to make an important phone call, and committing to that r/t meet.
If a boy is local, I have no problem meeting for coffee in a safe, public place, within a few days or a week. I also host a munch each month, so any locals can meet Me (and other Ladies) there, if preferred.  Instead, what I find is a constant plea for IM and cam...even local phone calls which are manipulated into a phone domination session. It is safe, and doesn't take much effort. (Note: this does not work, and I do not do it, but it doesn't stop them from trying! *Smile*)  But there is no real interest in Me as a Woman, as a mother, as a business person, or as a volunteer in My community. The only facet that interests these boys is the fact that I am a Dominant Woman and they apparently like My photos. To the extent that My profile is not really comprehended and I actually get emails referring to Me as a beautiful Cuckoldress, or the Sadist they have been seeking. I keep re-reading My profile to try to figure out where I say I am either of these.
Patience is important. I have a reasonable timeline. Long Distance, a meet within 2 months or so if all is going well. Local? Better get your butt to the munch or arrange to meet for coffee within a week or so. In that respect, others would find Me not so patient.
But there is a reason I have specific guidelines set out in My profile. It is a matter of steps. First you do this, then you do that, then we move on to the next stage and finally we may do the other thing. Most of them want to just do the other thing, and they want to do it on IM with a cam.
No patience. And...no committment.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 7/8/2006 4:17:45 AM >

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RE: Patience IS a needed virtue - 7/8/2006 4:30:13 AM

LadiesBladewing

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We -are- seeking a face-to-face relationship, and even -then-, I agree wholeheartedly with the OP that there still must be patience and taking one's time. Life has it's priorities, and as much as we enjoy bringing new servants home and working with them, it is a time-consuming process both to bring someone new into the household -and- to work through the training process to help them to meet our needs. Work, family, and school have to be our top priorities, and it is surprising how many -adults- simply do not understand this.

I let people who correspond with us know up front that we may not be quick to respond all the time. SR and I handle things together, and must coordinate around our responsibilities here, both of our paying jobs that fund the rest of our lives, her homeopathic client schedule, her research, my pastoral responsibilities, my writing deadlines and speaking engagements, our family responsibilites, our -relationship- responsibilities (I will not apologize for the fact that a "date" with my beloved, and a chance to get away and talk and celebrate together takes precedence over meeting yet another potential servant)... the list goes on.

There have been a few individuals who have grasped this concept, even without us having to spell it out in so many words. They've read our -profile- and figured out that we were busy women, and that getting to know us was going to take time. I can't even begin to describe how much of a relief it is to encounter one of these individuals -- and the truth is, they get "priority" kudos from us when it -does- come to scheduling things. All other things considered, the prospective servant who is conscious of and respectful of our time commitments (and even the reality that our life may require that we reschedule on occasion, because both of us have "semi-emergent" work that may demand our attention at any time) will get bonus points from the get-go. Considering that we have a limited number of individuals that we can work with at any given time (as is true of -most- dominants...even those who are comfortable with attending to multiple servants), it's a good thing to be patient and courteous if we can't jump right online the moment someone sends an email to write back.

ZWD

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