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LadyHugs -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/6/2006 5:25:59 PM)
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Dear KennelDeSade2, Ladies and Gentlemen;
You wrote in response;
quote:
ORIGINAL: KennelDeSade2
[There is no forum for adjudication, and while it is a great concept, I have yet to hear a workable proposal for one that would work. And yes, I'll grant you that there are many oxygen thieves in I can name in my local community, and I am amazed how the most egregious villains can move twenty miles and find themselves rehabilitated as if by magic through the virtue of the "he hasn't hurt anybody in our local group" method. Forget the net, these are well known local personalities.
Unfortunately, you are correct. The scene and or the community at large does not have a support system to have a 'court' per se. Whereas, the 'court' of public/scene/community opinion flows with consistant inconsistancy. Often times it boils down to he said/she said or what becomes a popularity/personal conflict to which the home group gets sucked into by default. Case in point in Virginia group two individuals in the local scene went through a ugly divorce. So, one made the choice to leave everybody from the scene out of the divorce and the other who was a BoD member made the choice to 'out' everybody and lied as to entice scene members into being served with court subpeona.
Having violated the rules of the group, this BoD member went on a smear campaign and besmirched everybody who they felt took sides. No such facts existed but, was an emotional retaliation. Hurt lots of people. Now this person is, like you mentioned in a different BDSM group's jurisdiction. Now playing victim and playing on other's sympathy and support.
Cliques, well, they are everywhere. But I will have to say that in recent years the problem of new males entering the scene and meeting hostile reception has nearly vanished in the local scene from Bellingham to Portland. When I began, it was only two Dommes that took a liking to me that gave me the great start I had. You would have sworn that the established tops where in mortal fear that somebody new would steal all the women away, and not one would answer a question for another male.
Rank inflation is something of a problem, but my own view is that a person who can carry the weight of a title, deserves it without some bogus time in service requirement.
Sir, I wish sincerely that all men did not need to meet the hostility you did and that such has vanished on a global scale. That said, perhaps those established Tops indeed were in mortal fear that the women would be stolen away before you lifted a whip. It takes more to be a Master than whip and bondage skills. As men on men interaction is stand-off like for new men into the scenes, so to it is the same chilly reception by new women in the scene with some established female Tops. So, I do understand. I do extend my welcome most often as to be contrary to this behavior.
However, I must proffer for your consideration, as to what if the two female dominants did not step up and give you a hand up.
The us vs them viewpoint where we are fighting only within our ranks, is one I disagree with. Or will say that the reason that it might look like a fight within our ranks, is because we have no standards and the only requirement for inclusion in is to claim membership. I think a little exclusion would do the whole scene a world of good from a PR standpoint, and serve to raise the level of expectations in the scene as well.
May I offer for consideration, that though I respect your disagreement of the "us vs. them" mentality; as there are no standards and mere participation creates entitlement as a member of the scene and or community. However, the 'sense of' being politically correct is only a mask of which hides underlying prejudices. This has been manifested occassionally even on this forum. This is where I have concerns.
The stalemate per se, is to which specific group, class and or style of M/s, D/s, S&M, BDSM, Gorean, etc., will dictate what is to be excluded and or sit in judgement over any other. Even if representatives of each group formed a series of standards as to exclude, just like politics--you'll never see total satisfaction. What keeps in my mind's eye is what might be a majority now may be a minority later. Perhaps, at a later time and a future group will form standards, to which all would be agreeable to comply with. Hopefully, it will start with a code of civil behavior, that will enhance what we (in general terms) have today.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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