Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support.

Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (Full Version)

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KennelDeSade2 -> Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/5/2006 5:09:28 PM)
Top solidarity is a wonderful concept and all, but I'm afraid that I've going to have to shift my default attitude away from giving somebody benefit of the doubt. Any support or solidarity will now be reserved for those who can first show me the smallest indication they understand the the basic application of all the words they read on the Internet So, I'm talking with a girl who tells me about having just met Dom Wonder, fifty years in the lifestyle. Master of shibari (sic) rope bondage learned at the knee of a master of one of the ancient houses Japan where he studied from birth. Skilled practitioner of all forms of sensation play, able to weave pleasure and pain into a net that will ensnare the senses of any who have at least two of five senses still working. One who is not only in charge of his own destiny, but ready to have her move in and take charge of her life within three days of first meeting. But. She has a few reservations. When she shows up, it seems the master of intricate bondage owns one length of rope, and his studio is an eye bolt screwed into a two by four roof truss in his garage. It also seems that the Svengali of Sensation play owns one flogger that looks like something that was discontinued as a Cracker Jack prize because people complained it was too cheap and demanded the paper puzzle prizes instead. Then, Master O Destiny needs to borrow a couple bucks for gas so they can get to Mc Donalds so she can buy them dinner.But, every style of play and conduct is valid, isn't it? Since everybody has a style that varies so much, at most times in the past I've held my tongue in the name of top solidarity. But, no more. These moron masters are doing too much to give the lifestyle a bad name, and I can't see going on the offensive and being accused of dividing the cause, as doing a tenth of the damage done by the corps of MasterDomTopWonderDudes. I'm not looking to lead some new movement. But perhaps it's time we all take another look at the idea of accepting every type and style of conduct in the lifestyle/scene/whatthefuckever as just as valid as any other. For myself, nobody gets benefit of “able until proven otherwise” from here out. The level of abuse has become too large to continue otherwise.

MistressDREAD -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/5/2006 6:05:16 PM)
quote: For myself, nobody gets benefit of “able until proven otherwise” from here out. I just told someone today to not judge My credentials untill You come and personally experiance them. Unfortunatly even tho many have started to come out of the closets and secret societies and private groups, just as some Old Guard/ Experianced over 30 Group are becomming more confortable to show some of theirselfs those who come here or to alternate lifestyles farily new or with differing views and narrow views with out acceptance of another have now split Our alternate ways with new munchies popping up all over the world who only allow members who are D/s and live with in societies norms and UNDER 30 years of age. Makes a lifestyler wonder whats threatening these new lifestyle folks with such creations......... LOL

feastie -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/5/2006 6:10:14 PM)
Why thank you, Kennel! You've illustrated a perfect example why no one gets a honorific out of me just because. It's the Dom Wonder dudes and dudettes that have spoiled that one. I know you're not trying to start a movement, but I hope some people will at the very least, take your post into thoughtful consideration.

CrappyDom -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/5/2006 6:12:18 PM)
Thank god none of us are like them, we are all the good ones...

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/5/2006 6:41:07 PM)
Ahh the internet such a fabulous tool..........such a pain in the ass.....thinking maybe that is why we love it so..<weg>..We all would love to have solidarity without reservation for something we feel passionate about, however, sometimes a few bad apples does truly help spoil the barrel...So hence it does cause one to give solidarity but with many an exception..ach well such is life..be well...Tempting

Caretakr -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/5/2006 7:32:38 PM)
Just grins. This is why I think proper definitions matter-dogs don't meow.

diamonddreamlove -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/5/2006 9:17:24 PM)
Dang met a few lost their email addresses and don't answer them anymore. Not rude just survival. I agree and i am tired of wannabees that have no clue. Being a newbie is tough enough but to have someone pretend to know what they are doing is well quite disheartening.

EvilGeoff -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/5/2006 9:36:33 PM)
WonderDoms (We wonder how the hell they figure they can call themselves Dominants) DangerDoms (so called because they are a danger to to those they play with) J. Studley Cyber-Hungwells (who, in their cyber-fantasy wonderlands are capable of beating and fucking all night, thank you very much!) and others of their ilk are why I preach over and over and over and OVER again: GET OUT FROM BEHIND THE DAMNED COMPUTER AND GET INVOLVED IN YOUR LOCAL SCENE COMMUNITY! Predators and posers as a general rule do NOT like groups, it's harder to hide there. In groups you have someone to watch your back when meeting someone new. You have people to bounce ideas off of and learn from. Get an f'ing clue, learn to ask for, AND CHECK REFERENCES. And for God's sake don't rely on EMAIL REFERENCES. Get PHONE NUMBERS and actually talk to the references. I could give someone 8 different email addresses to use as references and I could answer my own reference requests. Yeah Master Ropefiend can claim 50 years in the lifestyle and may even have legit reasons no one in a group knows him, but he had bloody well better have some names and phone numbers of previous partners, friends, lifestylers that know him and will vouch for him. No verifiable references = no play until you safe meet a few times and get his face and id known to YOUR friends and kink family. Never, ever EVER take anyone on the freaking internet at face value. Including me. Yours In Kink, - Geoff

Sirandlittle1 -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/6/2006 2:54:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KennelDeSade2 Dom Wonder, fifty years in the lifestyle. Master of shibari (sic) rope bondage learned at the knee of a master of one of the ancient houses Japan where he studied from birth. Skilled practitioner of all forms of sensation play, able to weave pleasure and pain into a net that will ensnare the senses of any who have at least two of five senses still working. Have him bathed, and brought to me! But people are people darling - whatever lifestyle you look at. And that goes for the submissive out there too. Some are plain inexperienced in life skills. And thus, more at risk than say, me, who's just started, but 42. I have honed my character assessment skills over decades. But when i was young, i have made some pretty amusing mistakes. They will serve me well for memoires when im old to laugh at. That's part of growing up, growing wise. and Time is what cures that. Some submissives, might of gone along with MrFABulousDom. Swallowing his line hook and sinker. This scenario makes, the submissive look like a twat. In some ways, deserving what she gets. For not educating herself before she leapt, on how to make a informed consent decision. And that is soley HER responsibility, not the Dom's. This scenario makes the MrFABulousDom look like a bad date at best. And just as another point. You do not require specialist tools to be a Dominant.

feastie -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/6/2006 3:54:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff GET OUT FROM BEHIND THE DAMNED COMPUTER AND GET INVOLVED IN YOUR LOCAL SCENE COMMUNITY! Predators and posers as a general rule do NOT like groups, it's harder to hide there. In groups you have someone to watch your back when meeting someone new. You have people to bounce ideas off of and learn from. Yours In Kink, - Geoff Geoff, I agree with everything you said, but this bit... DomWonders as well as subwonders often do get themselves involved in the local lifestyle. Depending on where that is, their crap often becomes someone's reality.

Brosco -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/6/2006 4:42:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: feastie quote: ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff GET OUT FROM BEHIND THE DAMNED COMPUTER AND GET INVOLVED IN YOUR LOCAL SCENE COMMUNITY! Predators and posers as a general rule do NOT like groups, it's harder to hide there. In groups you have someone to watch your back when meeting someone new. You have people to bounce ideas off of and learn from. Yours In Kink, - Geoff Geoff, I agree with everything you said, but this bit... DomWonders as well as subwonders often do get themselves involved in the local lifestyle. Depending on where that is, their crap often becomes someone's reality. I agree feastie, in my opinion its on the net that we hear most about the 'horror stories' because we are here. What we don't hear about are many of the horror stories in r/l. Online there is plenty of documentation of experiences and what to look for - but I see very little for offline by comparison. Meeting a person at a munch does not make them any safer than meeting them online or in a bar or wherever. Everywhere has its victims. And its not the environment, in many cases its the 'new' Dom/sub frenzy that allows a person to be taken advantage of before they have learnt to look for the red flags. And on the OP - don't ya just love those that were trained in a 400 y.o. Europen secret house, the skills being passed from father to son and being taught from the age os 13! Brosco

TNstepsout -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/6/2006 4:59:40 AM)
Ok, I'm all for making sport of DomWonder, but what of CluelessGirl? When I logged in here for the first time nearly a year ago, I didn't know the first thing about D/s, and hadn't even dated in 20+ years, but I would never EVER have fallen for that BS. Are you making this up or did she really go to his house on the first meet? shakes head I'd say if all it cost her was a couple of Big Macs she got out cheap. Is there such a thing as "bottom solidarity"? If so, count me out.

feastie -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/6/2006 5:26:20 AM)
Brosco, We agreed on something! Maybe we should have a party! [;)]

LadyJulieAnn -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/6/2006 5:28:07 AM)
It gets tiring hearing people blame online as the reason people have lost all sense of personal responsibility. All of my initial contacts were made online. Some gave me the creeps and some became long time friends. I met my loving sub online and we have been involved almost two years now. I never made the decision to move from online to meet anyone in person who seemed weird or dishonest to me. How did I know? Intuition, long conversations, and a lack of desperation on my part. Be well, Julie

KennelDeSade2 -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/6/2006 11:25:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn It gets tiring hearing people blame online as the reason people have lost all sense of personal responsibility. All of my initial contacts were made online. Some gave me the creeps and some became long time friends. I met my loving sub online and we have been involved almost two years now. I never made the decision to move from online to meet anyone in person who seemed weird or dishonest to me. How did I know? Intuition, long conversations, and a lack of desperation on my part. Be well, Julie I'll address your remarks as a beginning, then continue on with a few others. So please bear in mind what follows isn't directed towards only your remarks. First let me say I love the Internet. I'd have voted for Al Gore if I had believed he invented it. Sure I met the single worst disaster of my life online. (Ignored that little voice in my head screaming for me to run, I did) But I met one who would have made having to deal with ten like the disaster a worth while proposition, if that was what it took to find her. And, I found that one right here on this site. So one disaster, one that couldn't mean more to me if we where married. Plus, nine of every ten people I have met in the last dozen years, and some of the best friends and relationships I've been graced with, are people I met from online. (Three collars, for those of you who feel the need to keep score) I found BDSM by chance on CIS and AOL back when people could claim membership in the Old Guard, and The Great Houses of Europe and the Orient in a chat room, and not be laughed right off the net. Now the only silly thing left from that time is Gor, but that's a whole topic alone. For those who aren't that old, I'll mention that AOL was the first place where a female nick had a better than fifty percent chance of actually belonging to a person born with two X chromosomes. So. Let's save bashing AOL for another time, shall we? At that time, it was fairly easy to get away with some outlandish claims because the audience didn't have much in the way of easy to find information. One of the most often cited sources for expert advice was a web site put together by two BDSM soul mates who had nearly no real time experience together, but their web site was the go to source for net newbies. And guess what? The worst horror stories that came out of that time where fewer in number and of lower severity than those told all my life about vanilla venues like singles bars and holy matrimony. It was easy to stick with the whole solidarity thing because some poser claiming to be a member of the fictional Old Guard (no Virginia, the one everybody claims to be a member of, is a myth) was using the lightweight net porn of the time as a guide for conduct. Back then, "sadist" was a bad word, and peer pressure kept those with more intense desires pretty quiet if they wanted to be accepted. In a word, nobody suffered permanent damage often enough to outweigh the perceived benefits of one and all, marching shoulder to shoulder, brothers and sisters, united in our alternative belief system. Damn this takes a long time to write, so, more later.

KennelDeSade2 -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/6/2006 11:53:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TNstepsout Ok, I'm all for making sport of DomWonder, but what of CluelessGirl? Is there such a thing as "bottom solidarity"? If so, count me out. I'm gonna take a real fast swipe at this one. I'll grant your point, but offer no sympathy. For me it's simple. My belief is the moment I claim to be in charge, I also accept the responsibility for conduct and outcome. The captain of the Titanic may not have been at the helm when it hit the iceberg, but regardless, he was responsible. Any leader worthy of his command understands the concept, and does not quibble the point, or make excuses. There is no problem with bad submissives. There for damn sure is a problem with those who represent themselves as Dom, Master, or Owner, and snivel about how the girls don't respect them, or can't be controlled. Let's leave passive aggressive in the vanilla world where it's most at home, shall we? If people who don't have a spine can stand up straight, square their shoulders, and give the appearance of striving to do the right thing regardless of personal sacrifice, a surprising number will find the reality is less work than the pretense, and develop a spine in the process. I will never fault anybody making a good faith effort.

LadyHugs -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/6/2006 12:26:59 PM)
Dear KennelDeSade2, EvilGeoff, Ladies and Gentlemen; Although I would use a bit different vocabulary personally, EvilGeoff expresses extremely well of what is in my mind's eye. quote: ORIGINAL: EvilGeoff WonderDoms (We wonder how the hell they figure they can call themselves Dominants) DangerDoms (so called because they are a danger to to those they play with) J. Studley Cyber-Hungwells (who, in their cyber-fantasy wonderlands are capable of beating and fucking all night, thank you very much!) and others of their ilk are why I preach over and over and over and OVER again: GET OUT FROM BEHIND THE DAMNED COMPUTER AND GET INVOLVED IN YOUR LOCAL SCENE COMMUNITY! Predators and posers as a general rule do NOT like groups, it's harder to hide there. In groups you have someone to watch your back when meeting someone new. You have people to bounce ideas off of and learn from. Get an f'ing clue, learn to ask for, AND CHECK REFERENCES. And for God's sake don't rely on EMAIL REFERENCES. Get PHONE NUMBERS and actually talk to the references. I could give someone 8 different email addresses to use as references and I could answer my own reference requests. Yeah Master Ropefiend can claim 50 years in the lifestyle and may even have legit reasons no one in a group knows him, but he had bloody well better have some names and phone numbers of previous partners, friends, lifestylers that know him and will vouch for him. No verifiable references = no play until you safe meet a few times and get his face and id known to YOUR friends and kink family. Never, ever EVER take anyone on the freaking internet at face value. Including me. Yours In Kink, - Geoff I will mention though, that there have been preditors within groups. Black Rose in Washington, DC has Scott Tyree [was in national news]; and a few others that have harmed people in so many ways and put the general community in a poor light. There is also the case in North Carolina which hit national news for consensual removal of genitals. I am aware of other cases where it hasn't hit the national news wires, so names are withheld to comply with the rules of Collarme.com. I know of a few rape and assault cases by a "dom" in the Tidewater, Richmond and was prowling in West Virginia. This same person showed up at The Crucible and attempted to lure two ladies, even though known to have tied up, raped and assaulted a girl down south leaving her to be found by her young boy. So, this is why I may proffer of the personal opinion, that people who hurt others may mingle with and within groups. And, I will add there is a couple of females that have done great deal of harm to men--so it is not a gender specific issue or concern. But, I echo EvilGeoff's comments if they can avoid groups they will. So, the hunting field is easier via Internet chat rooms, private rooms and or even through this site. The reason being in my opinion, is much like a thief--Thief won't steal if someone is watching and, especially when the someone has the power to adjudicate some action. However, I do have concerns independent of the many 'hum dingers' that roam about. I worry about vigilantes within our community at large. Being a mobile society now, people move. Strangers that come into any group are really given a hard time. Another, is that novices come in and still learning their craft. I've seen some pretty mean spirited attitudes and behaviors to those making inquiries. Another concern, is those who use their power as to tarnish the reputation of another over a personality conflict, not by facts and evidence. I have seen often where cliques that are made with the mindset to destroy others if they do not conform to what the clique deems 'proper.' I've seen the cliques be more dangerous via technique, skills and such, than a few loners attempting to fit in but, won't join into the danger per se. And, I will also submit for consideration; that the handicaps of many of those in our community is not addressed, to which impedes their access to dungeon spaces, meetings, parties and other venues. I have seen where people who have a bad case of sour grapes do much harm. In my mind's eye; I see individuals desperately trying to be accepted 'as is.' We (in a general sense) always ask, what training, what references do you have, etc. My spirit of being 'fair,' I do wonder outloud; if we (in a general sense) have created the problem. Has it forced people to embellish as to just be given a bit of respect, a bit of acceptance. Frustrating as it may be, it must be acknowledged that there exists a "Us or them" mentality. The "Them" is not the enemy outside the community at large but, within. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

LadyHugs -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/6/2006 12:54:36 PM)
Dear TNstepsout, Ladies and Gentlemen; I have witnessed several 'on line Dominants' (males and females) talk a great scene and such. When they have shown up, they have what the original poster has mentioned, to the degree of a 'dead leather' key ring fob that is a micro-miniature of a flogger. Twirling it hitting the submissive and thinking they were today's bread. I have seen this one female dominant who looks up at the rafters, and shifts her hips and yawns as she is flogging or caning. She wears outfits that are loud and 'look at me' and all the while the chap is being hit in dangerous places as this female watches everything and everybody other than the lad in her bondage and under her tools. I have had an individual identifying themselves as a dominant with some years, asking me what was on my toy rack-- floggers, crops, cat o nines, quirts and single tails. Then had the nerve to ask me if he could borrow my whips and canes to do a scene with. Fact is--he never had a toy bag, never held a flogger or cane. I've seen a few dominants (mix of men and women) hang their submissives up by their collar in a dangerous manner in my mind's eye and luckly in the whole dungeon's consensus, to which they were promptly ushered out. Some even left their submissives hanging and walked off! I will also add, that I have seen experienced players do things contrary to their own rules and teachings, doing bondage scenes, fire play and doing medical play. I also remember a lass from New York, to whom I met over the Internet who came down with Furf, a known maker of beautiful collars and attended a collaring ceremony where he joined the metal to make it solid and nobody could remove. The lass went to Washington state to meet up with a chap and beyond his words and such that enticed the lass there, he was in a wheelchair, didn't have one flogger or BDSM toy. The slave that he claimed to have living there--was him in a different role play, as a mute Japanese geisha. Neck ties was his source of bondage. She also was iscolated, he locked up her possessions and her identity papers. It took her two years to save enough to get back to New York. She had to go to McDonalds and get ketchup packs, mustard, relish and other grab and walk out condiments to just eat something. She didn't have enough money to even buy a soda let alone a burger. I best stop as I find myself moving into a angry state of mind thinking about such. As far as I know this chap still out there. In summary, it is in my mind's eye that we (in a general sense) want to trust people and give them a benefit of a doubt. However, there are people who are just out to hurt others or to leach of others. It is to be recognized that such individuals are a minority however, will still lurk about regardless how much the over all community does to thwart them. Respectfully submitted for consideration, Lady Hugs

KennelDeSade2 -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/6/2006 1:21:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHugs hacked for reference brevity. So, the hunting field is easier via Internet chat rooms, private rooms and or even through this site. Thief won't steal if someone is watching and, especially when the someone has the power to adjudicate some action. I do have concerns independent of the many 'hum dingers' Another, is that novices come in and still learning their craft. mean spirited attitudes and behaviors to those making inquiries.those who use their power as to tarnish the reputation of another I've seen the cliques be more dangerous , than a few loners attempting to fit in but. individuals desperately trying to be accepted 'as is.' if we (in a general sense) have created the problem. Has it forced people to embellish. it must be acknowledged that there exists a "Us or them" mentality. The "Them" is not the enemy outside the community at large but, within. There is no forum for adjudication, and while it is a great concept, I have yet to hear a workable proposal for one that would work. And yes, I'll grant you that there are many oxygen thieves in I can name in my local community, and I am amazed how the most egregious villains can move twenty miles and find themselves rehabilitated as if by magic through the virtue of the "he hasn't hurt anybody in our local group" method. Forget the net, these are well known local personalities. Cliques, well, they are everywhere. But I will have to say that in recent years the problem of new males entering the scene and meeting hostile reception has nearly vanished in the local scene from Bellingham to Portland. When I began, it was only two Dommes that took a liking to me that gave me the great start I had. You would have sworn that the established tops where in mortal fear that somebody new would steal all the women away, and not one would answer a question for another male. Rank inflation is something of a problem, but my own view is that a person who can carry the weight of a title, deserves it without some bogus time in service requirement. The us vs them viewpoint where we are fighting only within our ranks, is one I disagree with. Or will say that the reason that it might look like a fight within our ranks, is because we have no standards and the only requirement for inclusion in is to claim membership. I think a little exclusion would do the whole scene a world of good from a PR standpoint, and serve to raise the level of expectations in the scene as well.

Slipstreme -> RE: Master OneRope. Dom Wonder. Needs your support. (7/6/2006 1:50:25 PM)
quote: I think a little exclusion would do the whole scene a world of good from a PR standpoint, and serve to raise the level of expectations in the scene as well. begin off topic rant>>Yes, and then newbies such as myself would never be given a fighting chance. It is bad enough I have heard from others about the lack of new blood in the lifestyle, and heard about the untimely demise of the GAPE group here, which started over, guess what, exclusion. I did get to meet a wonderful group further south, and found the welcoming to be a lot like being among family, something that, although a 2 hour long drive, may be the incentive to bring me out there more often despite gas prices. This same group also lamented about the lack of youngish people in the lifestyle, even with the acceptance age being 18. If you start excluding, what standards would you use? Once a decision is made to deny people entry, even for the protection and safety of the family, you may start to exclude people who truely do belong. <<end off topic rant. ........................................................ LadyHugs, your posts make me feel lucky I tend not to be so trusting in the beginning of getting to know people. At the same time, it does beg the question of whether or not even I could serve to use some more caution with the local scene, and this might be a good idea for everyone.

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