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RE: Lifestyle friends - 7/5/2006 7:34:55 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
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I actually only have one life style friend a male Dominant.I find him to be a good resource of help, and a good friend.But mainly I have many nilla friends that I am close to, one in particular who knows of my proclivities and the rest ...not a clue..As KOM stated my friendship develops more from the character of a person and not their lifestyle choices..be well..Tempting

(in reply to mistoferin)

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Post #: 21

RE: Lifestyle friends - 7/5/2006 9:29:34 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Simple answer is no... I do not judge depth of friendship on an interest. My best friend is a submissive, but we did not meet as a result of our BDSM interests. My Dom and I share many discussions about the lifestyle, but we both are interested in many other things.

I have other friends, mostly I am closest to my family, and they know nothing of this

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(in reply to mistoferin)

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Post #: 22

RE: Lifestyle friends - 7/5/2006 9:43:58 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I have far more male friends than female, and the majority of them are lifestyle and sub.. but thats just happenstance. My vanilla friends all know about my lifestyle, some accept it, some dont. The ones that dont, they just sort of ignore it and we dont talk about my pets as pets, but as boyfriends or lovers.
Actually, one of my best friends MAY be becoming my collared pet ina week or so.
I also have a dominant partner... one of the few doms I get along with witout there ever beinga power struggle.
However, I dont think the shared lifestyle makes me closer to the one that are in it than the ones that are out... it just gives us something different to share.

DV

(in reply to KnightofMists)

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Post #: 23

RE: Lifestyle friends - 7/6/2006 5:30:29 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyrdRich
Assuming the people involved are heterosexual, some level of sexual thinking is going to occur eventually, even if it's just the phrase "nice ass" passing through your mind. Perhaps it is more of a testosterone thing in general. With drinking buddies etc, these are just passing thoughts that don't amount to anything but to go beyond that, into the deeper realms of a lifelong, one-on-one friendship, they have to be addressed somehow.

I understand. Thank you for clarifying. Most of the people I call "friends" are those of the long term, lifelong variety. I have a lot more acquaintances than friends...those would be the people that I see here and there at events of common interest...or who I connect with on the phone now and again. In the group of friends that I have of the opposite gender, yes there is some degree of lighthearted joking in regards to sex...but both parties are aware that is all it is. Now that you mention it, I'm not sure now how we ever came to that knowledge...we just did. Perhaps there may have been a conversation at some point...if there was I just simply don't remember it. Most of my very close male friends have been in my life for a long time...some as long as 28 years.

quote:

ownedgirlie
Now I am a slave, she is married and coming to learn things about herself through what I share.

I have one girlfriend who considers herself vanilla but she is as kinky as they come. We talk about lifestyle stuff and she understands me quite well. She too, tells me that she learns alot about herself talking to me. I tell her all the time that she'd make a great Domme...lol. I have another vanilla girlfriend who is one of the most submissive women that I know to her partner. She has a very hard time though reconciling that part of herself. She's hung up on the message that society sends out about women of today.

quote:

KinghtofMists
No... my lifestyle is not a fundamental requirement for the depth/connection I may have with my closest friends.... Character of the person has been and always will be the most important aspect.

I think that this is what all friendships have to be based on....friendships that can be sustained in the long term anyway. I have never chosen a friend based on their interests. They have to be people that I connect with and respect on many levels. You are correct in that character being the most important aspect. Thank you.

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Post #: 24

RE: Lifestyle friends - 7/6/2006 5:41:10 AM

mistoferin

Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
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I have been blessed with a good circle of friends...some vanilla, some not. I sometimes think that my kink friends understand me in ways that my vanilla friends can't. It's like they just "get" certain aspects of me without words having to be said. I'm very open with most of my friends...there is one that I "limit" what I say to her...but only because the topic makes her very uncomfortable. Whenever we do discuss it I always feel like deep down she wishes she could "cure" me....lol. I've tried to explain a million times over...but some part of her always sees "abuse".

< Message edited by mistoferin -- 7/6/2006 5:49:45 AM >

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to mistoferin)

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Post #: 25

RE: Lifestyle friends - 7/6/2006 5:47:24 AM

bondagemastertj

Posts: 26
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

First of all I found that living in the Southeast that either there arent that many practicing Dom's or they are all "in the closet", so a friendship like that, although good, isnt possible.
I try and seperate My lifestyle and My friends. Half of them dont even know I am one. So therefore all of My close friends are male and very vanilla

(in reply to mistoferin)

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Post #: 26

RE: Lifestyle friends - 7/6/2006 7:21:38 AM

kisshou