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RE: The Safety Police - 7/4/2006 9:00:17 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne
We are all adults who are resposible for our own choices and actions. Much of what we do is "unsafe" and most of us here or neither morons or idiots so no need for lecturing poeple as if they are a toddler.

K

*shrug* Until we rid ourselves of the desire for mentors/protectors/trainers and allow alcohol and sex to be fully available as an option- we can't really consider ourselves a culture anywhere NEAR actually allowing adults the freedom to consent as adults.

But we do like to talk about it a lot- until someone tries to do something that crosses the "bad" line.

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RE: The Safety Police - 7/4/2006 9:23:03 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

People sharing their knowledge, expertise or safety concerns, to me, is a service and one I'm grateful for as there are lots of folks who are newly discovering BDSM and may be unaware of 'how' dangerous some things can be. Passing along that knowledge, hopefully, is something which will lead one to do their own homework and access any risk as it relates to their particular situation. That said, no need to continually beat someone over the head once a point is made because as you said, Level, much of what we do is unsafe (and illegal) ... and we choose to do it anyway.

Celeste

edited to add:: actually, it's not just those folks who are new which can benefit from safety tips.. folks who've been around can benefit as well!

My Dom was telling me just today about someone that posted they were new to the lifestyle and he had bought a singletail whip to beat his wife with. My Dom went on to explain how whips could kill a person in the hands of someone inexperienced. He also explained how whips tend to recoil on the whipper, and not just hit the whippee. He could have ignored the post I suppose and just cheerlead for the guy and say "Way to go dude! Have fun man, and whip her once for me!" But he did tell the guy what he was planning was extremely unsafe and unwise. I think he was right to do so, but opinions vary.

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RE: The Safety Police - 7/4/2006 9:42:22 PM

ownedgirlie

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~fast reply~

I think there is a balance somewhere. I have seen some "Oh my god, don't do THAT!!!" posts about some things I would consider really mild. I have had people email me that if my Master is not careful, he will kill me, and I shouldn't trust him as I do. (um, okay, thanks) Then again I have seen some really informative stuff that I would not have thought of. I guess it's one of those, take the good with the bad type of things, and filter out what you don't want.

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RE: The Safety Police - 7/5/2006 3:15:16 AM

stellina

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Joined: 2/22/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne
We are all adults who are resposible for our own choices and actions. Much of what we do is "unsafe" and most of us here or neither morons or idiots so no need for lecturing poeple as if they are a toddler.

Yes, and the responsible and adult thing to do is warn someone else of health and safety issues when they publically announce they are going to add something like blood play to their list of kinks. Also, the -adult- road goes both ways. Just ignore how the advice is offered, and evaluate the advice itself on its own merits. They are only trying to help.

< Message edited by stellina -- 7/5/2006 3:19:39 AM >

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RE: The Safety Police - 7/5/2006 3:56:23 AM

MstrTiger

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There are some people who post things like “don’t to that it is dangerous” etc and nothing else, though I don’t really see that as being actual safety advice it is more like pointless criticism and I think you need to differentiate between the two.

I think people also should be considering the fact that other people will be looking at the thread also, and if the person who has written the opening message has not included at least basic safety advice then I see nothing wrong with other people providing it to ensure the people reading the thread are getting a rounded picture.

I don’t think agree with your point that peoples safety issues are only relevant to themselves, I think safety considerations are relevant to a situation, you might personally choose to rule some of them out though I don’t think it is justifiable to criticize people for posting them. When it comes to safety I like to read as much information as I can find on things and then take informed decisions on which ones I think are unnecessary rather than not being fully informed about it.

You might say that people are beating other people with their over zealous safety advice though personally I would rather see people post the hyper sensitive stuff rather than a watered down version in the hope that it will not hurt the feelings of the person who wrote the opening message.

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RE: The Safety Police - 7/5/2006 6:22:18 AM

IronBear

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I take more notice from some one who will say that in their opinion that what I'm looking at may be wrong or dangerous and then give me examples of the dangers and even better alternative safe ways I can approach something.

A Long time ago I learned that is you tell some one they are wrong, their first reaction is to shut down all receptiveness and then become defensive. the more you tell someone they are wrong the more they will defend their stance. (Good example the long winded thread on gun ownership in the Gorean Forum). What I have learned is if you want to disagree with some one you can start of with somethig like "I may be wrong, but this is the way I see it.." This gives some one a back door and not be forced to loose face. Carnegy deal with this in "How To Win Friends And Influence People" An excelent read for all communicators.... Before anyone decides to jump down my throat for me not always using this, what can I say? I'm human, not a God, I make errors and even get so wound up in a heated debate especially with one or two people that I forget.

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RE: The Safety Police - 7/5/2006 7:33:22 AM

ArtimisBlack

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Personally, I'm glad of the "Safety Police". For example, in that thread about silk scarves...I didn't know that they could form edges and cut if tied too tightly. I'm glad that I know that now. Nowhere did I see it recommended that silk scarves never be used under any circumstances. Whenever I see someone point out something unsafe with enough information to back it up, I listen. I check it out and if they are wrong, toss it in the pile of "bad advice". If they're right, I make sure to remember it. Forewarned is Forearmed.

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RE: The Safety Police - 7/5/2006 8:06:46 AM

truesub4u

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne
and most of us here or neither morons or idiots so no need for lecturing poeple as if they are a toddler.

K

Morning Mr Kyle... I understand where you're coming from with this post. But it's the others feel they must be. Myself included. I've been harsh in a few post of where I personally thought someone was doing something I thought to be totally fucked up.

But i've also taken notice to the fact that subs will try to warn.. where doms will try to command someone not to do something. It's all in the wordings. I know i've had some respond to me..... talking to me like i'm a toddler as well.... that's when I reply back with a smartass remark...

Safety police might be a harsh choice of words when some seeing it as trying to help. But then you are right... when someone is trying to shove their advice.. reminds me of a rental cop who thinks he's a real cop....

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