The Safety Police (Full Version)

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PlayfulOne -> The Safety Police (7/4/2006 4:15:52 PM)

Lately when people mention certain kinks or activites here on the board there is a rash of  "helpful" posters jumping into the fray to explain wyy that pursuit is unsafe.  What many of this recent "helpful friends" actually mean is , "Your kink is not my kink and since I think that is sick, disgusting,  or pointless I am going to explain to you why I think its unsafe because obviously if you knew what I know you would think this was sick, discusting, or pointless also."  Now heaven help the poor person if they do not agree that the activity is unsafe and now see the error of their ways.  They now get berated as dangerous, stupid,  or just simply scum.

It is one thing to mention safety issues, another entirely to club someone over the head with "Your" safety issues because you don't like their kink.

We are all adults who are resposible for our own choices and actions.  Much of what we do is "unsafe" and most of us here or neither morons or idiots so no need for lecturing poeple as if they are a toddler.

K



JessieMe -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 4:21:56 PM)

If I say something is unsafe, I will generally attempt to back it up with information as to why it is unsafe and most often only deal with medical health issues. (keeping in mind of course that all of us suffer from some form of pre-alzheimers and there may be a time or two I dont recall) Otherwise.. I like to think in terms of RACK practice.. which is Risk Aware Consensual Kink.. As long as you are aware of the risk and it is still consensual... hey.. have fun!



JohnWarren -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 4:23:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne

What many of this recent "helpful friends" actually mean is , "Your kink is not my kink and since I think that is sick, disgusting,  or pointless I am going to explain to you why I think its unsafe because obviously if you knew what I know you would think this was sick, discusting, or pointless also." 


How wonderful you can read minds.  I understand you're getting a show this Friday on the USA network.

For myself, I tend to take people's words at their face value without trying to hold an envelope to my forehead and announce what they are thinking



BitaTruble -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 4:35:38 PM)

People sharing their knowledge, expertise or safety concerns, to me, is a service and one I'm grateful for as there are lots of folks who are newly discovering BDSM and may be unaware of 'how' dangerous some things can be. Passing along that knowledge, hopefully, is something which will lead one to do their own homework and access any risk as it relates to their particular situation. That said, no need to continually beat someone over the head once a point is made because as you said, Level, much of what we do is unsafe (and illegal) ... and we choose to do it anyway.

Celeste

edited to add:: actually, it's not just those folks who are new which can benefit from safety tips.. folks who've been around can benefit as well!



slavejali -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 4:37:01 PM)

I havent found that so much on the forums Playful (but maybe I'm just not involved in threads like that as I prefer self-exploration threads and relationship dynamic threads)..but I used to find it happening a lot when I was involved with internet chats. People condemning others or jumping to an extreme conclusion about the person because they participated in regularly accepted bdsm activities. It was kinda odd really, used to make me tilt my head and think "wtf?"



PlayfulOne -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 4:48:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: PlayfulOne

What many of this recent "helpful friends" actually mean is , "Your kink is not my kink and since I think that is sick, disgusting,  or pointless I am going to explain to you why I think its unsafe because obviously if you knew what I know you would think this was sick, discusting, or pointless also." 


How wonderful you can read minds.  I understand you're getting a show this Friday on the USA network.

For myself, I tend to take people's words at their face value without trying to hold an envelope to my forehead and announce what they are thinking


Does that mean youi've purchased your tickets?  Buy them early and I'll get you free drink coupons.

Just smple reading,  when one post several times within a thread starting out telling someone why they think it is unsafe moving into why now think the person is unsafe becasue they don't agree the translation is pretty obvious. 

K



Arpig -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 4:49:01 PM)

Playful.
When somebody raises a "safety" issue with a kink, I simply read what they posted, and either discard it or file it away for looking into.

As to which category any given "warning" falls into, well usually that is dictated by the rationality of the post itself. Those who seem to base their safety concerns on imaginary or to my mind irrelevant issues get discarded, thoise whose concerns make sense to me, I follow up on.



LadyHugs -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 4:51:34 PM)

Dear PlayfulOne, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
It has been my observation that some people will be darned if they do and darned if they don't,when it comes to safety within the scene and or community pursuits.
 
In my mind's eye, I can understand if someone was to have concerns over a scene for safety reasons and there are ways to be civil about expressing the concerns.  I choose my words carefully, as to request their consideration on the matter, as to perhaps ask if they had given thought to or researched the area of my concern(s).  There is a way to be passionately concerned without, as you say 'club the person over the head.'
 
Personally witnessing a change in scene fads and techniques, things tame to extremes.  Some I have no knowledge what so ever, so after their scene is done I do politely inquire, as to learn, understand and as well as to perceptions I had and what they are when I have asked.  Nobody can be an expert in everything, nor should it be expected. 
Most of my questions come from the medical side of concerns more than a desire to annihilate a certain kink, fetish and or fad, style and or technique and or the person/persons, et.al.
 
We are all adults but, unfortunately; not all behave as adults.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 



Emperor1956 -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 4:51:39 PM)

quote:

Lately when people mention certain kinks or activites here on the board there is a rash of  "helpful" posters jumping into the fray to explain wyy that pursuit is unsafe.


Could you give some specific examples of these "helpful" posts?  Offhand, and without any research, I recall recently very valid safety comments about ethyl alcohol enemas, using sounds with a violet wand and multiple play piercings in a session, and in none of those posts did I see anything like what you are talking about.

I agree with John Warren -- your ability to read our minds makes you better than Uri Geller! (said with all due respect to both you and that fraud).

I suspect someone stepped on your weenie and made you cry.  I enjoy learning from most of the CM crowd, and find the safety comments very helpful and temperate.

E.



Caretakr -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 4:57:08 PM)

Safety concerns are usually posted when the pesron mentioning the activity fails to mention safeguards.

If you dislike the effect,redefine the cause.



darkinshadows -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 4:58:22 PM)

You are making a judgement on someone elses judgements.  Pretty much the doing the same thing really as you are mentioning.  Now theres nothing wrong with that at all, as long as people are aware its personal judgement.  Second guessing.
 
Personally, I haven't seen much evidence of this recently, nor in the past - not for the majority.  But this is a BDSM site and the forums do have people coming to talk things through and offer/ask for advice.  No 'idiots or morons' (cringes because thats such a nasty, horrid word) - but people sharing vicariously.
Just take that which interests you and leave the rest alone.
 
Forums tend to be like that.
Peace and Rapture



feastie -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 5:17:15 PM)

The most recent example of people jumping on safety issues was the thread where friends of the poster enjoyed binding the woman in the wilderness and leaving her.  Lots of folks pointed out safety issues, myself included.

But, to put it in perspective, we weren't given much information beyond the fact that the couple was doing this and that they were seeking more information about it.

I rather feel like everyone that posted was simply attempting to provide information based on the knowledge given them in the OP. 

I will say, however, that if someone feels at any time that he does not require safety information, doesn't need to review safety issues or believes he knows all there is to know on that particular activity, he should not participate in that activity. 
People become complacent and forget.  That's why, for instance, hospitals require annual reviews of all safety practices, even down to handwashing.  Handwashing is simple, but you'd be surprised how many people forget how to do it correctly, or when to do it.

Most of all, he shouldn't bitch about safety posts, because even though he may be comfortable in his knowledge, the posts may well be of value to someone else.




slavejali -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 5:22:13 PM)

I guess the thing to remember is, a lot of people posting and asking questions are new or have little experience, so what they post should be taken on face value and the appropriate safety advice given, it could prevent someone getting hurt.[:)]



Caretakr -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 5:28:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

I guess the thing to remember is, a lot of people posting and asking questions are new or have little experience, so what they post should be taken on face value and the appropriate safety advice given, it could prevent someone getting hurt.[:)]


Yes, I just adore the idea that some chest thumping ass, boasting about how cool breath play is, is being read by a lurking newbie couple who decide they'd like to try it tonight-for the very first time.

But of course,the buffoon who inspired it mentioned nothing about the timing. Too bad, so sad.

Dial 911.[:'(]



diamonddreamlove -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 5:45:34 PM)

I for one am always glad to hear about safety issues.  It gives me a new resource and informs me as to the risks i may not have considered.  I then consider the new information and decide if it is worth it to me to proceed.  If not perhaps the information saved my life or someone elses and for that i am grateful.  I am a newbie and will be until the day i die hopefully in about another 100 years,  hoping is from natural causes and not a bdsm mishap that reading the risks about could have prevented.



cynthiamarie -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 6:02:29 PM)

Um...the phrase comes to mind..."Be careful what you ask for, you might get it."

[:D]  This is especially true with opinions.

I've dealt with issues, not gone after people nor tried to judge anyone...treat others the way we'd want to be treated, and all that.  I've learned a lot from reading the perspectives of other people, even ones who annoy the heck out of me, and I'm very glad to have other safety concerns brought to my attention so I won't do unintentional harm, nor by my inaction, allow harm to come to someone who is bottoming for me. 

When someone asks for opinions, they will get my honest...and possibly falliable...one. [;)] Don't let the blonde hair fool ya, I'm not here to be some mindless cheerleader.

Many who ask about safety issues or others' experiences have only dreams in their minds, and need to hear everyone's opinion so they can really make a consensual decision about a scene. 



CrappyDom -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 6:56:40 PM)

Many of the more frequent posters here LOVE extreme play and I haven't seen much of the hand wringing over whip wrapping and other BS minor injuries here at all.

I have seen some idiotic comments about things like tearing of the rectum being no big deal and I pointed that out.  As someone who dislikes the concept of SSC and DMs I am not exactly a poster boy for safety.

I think someone stepped on your kink somewhere or something.



Caretakr -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 6:59:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Many of the more frequent posters here LOVE extreme play and I haven't seen much of the hand wringing over whip wrapping and other BS minor injuries here at all.

I have seen some idiotic comments about things like tearing of the rectum being no big deal and I pointed that out.  As someone who dislikes the concept of SSC and DMs I am not exactly a poster boy for safety.

I think someone stepped on your kink somewhere or something.


I like a lot of extreme stuff too-but I post specifics of why it worked, safety etc......Rather than just trying to impress people about how "hot" I am.

I hated high school when I was there, and I still despise it-here. Why not express yourself in an adult and competent manner-is it so hard to add a few extra lines?



krikket -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 7:14:02 PM)

i don't often go into safety police mode (but i have) simply because i rarely know enough my own kinds, much less someone else's.  i would think that if someone writes about a kink that brings the ever vigilent CM safety patrols out they're doing it for several (possible) reasons:  1) They want the attention by stirring things up 2)  they're trying something new and are seeking the advice of others who've already walked down that road, and/or 3) They want to show off their new talent.

No matter the reason it's good that people feel comfortable enough to write their questions here in our forums and it's also good when people speak up when they see something potentially dangerous without fear of being of being harrassed by the very people who complain about the safety police in the first place.  While i know there are have been exceptions (and usually caught and blocked by our ever loving Mods..lol), most people here can give good reasons for their response, and rarely has it been because it wasn't their kink.  In fact, i wouldn't think it all that odd if someone who had a similar kink did write in to share the joys, hazards, an what nots..

Just another take...

jimini



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: The Safety Police (7/4/2006 8:41:11 PM)

If a poster comes on here and asks questions..then they will get answers..varied answers..some well thought out with all the pitfalls they may run into from those of experience,some will get flippant responses,some will get their panties into a wad beacuse it is not their kink..but whatever the response..they asked first off and secondly they do not have to take the advice..we are adult in that way as well...Tempting



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