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Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 1:53:50 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Many come and go on here.  Some stay for a short time... some for much longer.  Hopefully we all take something from here that will cause us to grow and evolve beyond what we were.

I ask... Becuase of your interactions on CM... in what way do you see that you have grown and/or evolved?  How have you seen some others on here grow or evolve?

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.
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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 1:58:20 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists
I ask... Becuase of your interactions on CM... in what way do you see that you have grown and/or evolved?  How have you seen some others on here grow or evolve?

I've done a majority of my evolving in the offline world, AOL chats and the Yahoogroups.

CM has been mostly a sharpening of my toolbox, establishing of my security in myself, and allowed me to collect a huge database of essays and topics that I'd never had before to give me a broader perspective and larger framework on which to view my ideas and share with others.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 1:59:38 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		My immediate response is that I have become alot less judgemental and open to more things if the opportunity should ever arise.  In both myself and others I have seen that some of the words that annoy/upset/bug us most are the ones we need to heed the strongest at times. 

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 2:12:09 PM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Well, from a practical standpoint, I think I've become more open to polyamory - that I was ever really almost against it to begin with is kind of ridiculous, considering my previous life situation and actions.

I've also become (perhaps) even more aware that everyone really is "coming from a different place". Sidenote: I really do sincerely apologize to RS, Mr. DD and whoever else's feelings I might have hurt with my sarcastic outburst on the "Submissives in a Sexless Marriage" thread the other evening - the only excuse I've got is that, well, I'm just not myself all the time these days (plus it is one of not very many topics that really "hits home" with me. I really do realize everyone has a right to their own opinion). - Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 6/27/2006 2:13:32 PM >

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"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 2:28:40 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I've gotten better at typing!
Actually, I met my slave/wife here as well as some great people that have enriched my life. And posting on the message boards forces me to really think about what I am saying before posting. It really helps in clarifying what I believe.

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Boycott Whales!

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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 2:35:05 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
I evolve anyway.  CM doesn't aid that.  I would evolve whether I was on CM or not.
I have been here, gone a while, come back.  I enjoy the banter and there are some sweet people here.  Met them - and will continue to meet.
 
I have learnt different perspectives yes - but they haven't really altered my thoughts in a huge way, but I do enjoy debate.
 
I have seen other people evolve - but again, thats not down to CM - but I love watching it happen.  Theres one person who has me transfixed watching them (I say them so I dont give away if its male or female) - I love the questions they ask and how they are moving forward... I find that fascinating.  I guess, it gives me faith that some people are open to themselves and to others and thats a beautiful thing.  I am a people watcher, and I don't see that altering anytime soon.
 
Peace and Rapture 


_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 3:07:13 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		I have learned a lot from CM in terms of what i need/crave.  I am learning to put names to it and omg can even ask for what i want.  Couldn't before and it is still difficult for me to ask or even take the chance of oops saying the wrong thing here.  I have also learned that while i value the opinions of others here i will make my own final decision as to where i am going in life.  Am i a submissive yes and i have lots of choices to make the biggest and toughest is how and who i wish to submit to.  Don't have the answers completed yet but don't know all the questions either.  So i will continue to read, sometimes comment and hopefully learn the things i must know to be a better sub.

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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 3:26:55 PM   
caitlyn


Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline 		I'm going to echo Mistress LaTigresse's comments in that I feel less judgmental and open to more things, in the time I've been here.
 
One of the first things I noticed here, was all these people calling themselves slaves ... and an exploration of how they consented to be slaves. I thought it was pretty silly at first ... I mean if you consent and you can leave any time you want to, are you really a slave?
 
But, after a while, you start noticing how many really smart people that have their shit together, put themselves in that category and live that lifestyle 24/7. It makes you think that perhaps its more that you don't understand it, as opposed to them not really living it.
 
Then there are the Goreans ... I don't understand them or have a clue what the attraction is, but there sure are some smart ones that know exactly what they are doing, and what they stand for. I can totally respect that.
 
There are still some areas where I have some growing to do. About half the posts concerning age play or daddy play end up with me typing out a scathing, flaming, slamming response ... only to cancel it without ever posting it.
 
Oh, and I also learned that Merc is a Republican.

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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 4:14:13 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Knight of Mists
I want to hear what You have to say in answering Your Own questions Knight befor I post mine.          Waves to Estring who I havent seen in a very long time. Glad to hear the relationship worked.

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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 4:33:16 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I think MistressDread is a real sadist making us struggle to read the font and color she uses *grin*

Re Topic: I'm not aware of anything in particular my particpation on CM has helped me grow or evolve in. It has given me some insights into how other people view things and how other people live in their relationships and I really enjoy gathering that kind of information. My heart has been warmed by some of the lovely posts and fretted over some of the ones where I feel someones pain or anguish, my intellect has been stimulated on occassions...all good stuff....thanks CM and everyone who participates.

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Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 4:38:24 PM   
TemptingNviceSub


Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Good question KOM..Where do I begin..When I first came to CM I knew next to nothing, just basic ideas,basic facts,,,now my understanding has deepened...my thought processes have altered considerably...and I continue to be amazed by the diversity to be found under the umbrella of WIITWD..and foremost my education continues..to all the experienced,Dom/me sub/slaves who have given of their experiences,and viewpoints..I the perpetual novice THANK YOU all!!...be well..Tempting

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 4:39:04 PM   
anthrosub


Posts: 843
Joined: 6/2/2004
Status: offline 		Actually, I really have improved my typing skills!
 
I think time spent here on the boards (as opposed to simply browsing profiles) has greatly expanded my understanding of people interested in BDSM.  I have no problem saying up front when I started looking online almost 6 years ago, I was suffering from the illusions of what a Dominant and a sub/slave was and how they live the day to day.  But I quickly learned my mistakes and gained a lot of confidence in how I see myself and others.
 
I've met many good people here, had some spirited debates, a few laughs, and hopefully made some friends along the way.
 
anthrosub

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"It is easier to fool people than it is to convince them they have been fooled." - Mark Twain

"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 4:39:58 PM   
domtimothy46176


Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline 		I'm not sure if it's evolution or simply enlightenment or even if there is a practical difference betwixt the two.  I find that I'm slightly more open-minded on some topic than I once was.  I credit the change with having read so much about why others feel so strongly in favor on positions with which I vehemently disagree. 
Of course, I've always been a strong proponent of vigorous debate, so I come to a discussion prepared to be persuaded.  Still, having thought my positions  thoroughly tested and unassailable, it's been a surprise to read some of the more eloquent rebuttals and find myself moved to re-examine previous conclusions.  Perhaps this is what is meant by 'evolution' in the OP and perhaps not.  Either way, it's heartening to find that this old dog is still capable of growth.
Be well,
Timothy

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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 4:46:43 PM   
mariba


Posts: 22
Joined: 4/9/2006
Status: offline 		I think it depends on who you choose to become involved with.  If you don't choose wisely you may very well devolve.  I think we all have to fight agianst becoming cyinical, even if we have to risk evolving in our role.,

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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 4:48:18 PM   
sophia37


Posts: 1433
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		I've been on other sites but this site offers a lively discussion group. Thats a good thing all the way around. The conversations are pretty interesting compared to much of what's available in the web world.

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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 4:48:21 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		I've met both my submissive and my pupppy here, and I think interaction with a good submissive can't help but make the dominant grow and evolve. (But both of them make me mushy. lol)

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~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"


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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 4:56:11 PM   
Caretakr


Posts: 1221
Joined: 6/24/2006
Status: offline 		I have learned over the years that not everyone is me.

But that even so,they can be appreciated.

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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 4:56:29 PM   
Daddysredhead


Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline 		Good question, KoM.

Daddy introduced me to this site to meet friends in our area.  I soon became aware of the forums and began reading them like crazy.  When I ventured out to ask my first question, I quickly learned to ask it in a clear and concise manner, and to give some background with it.

Daddy says that He is very intrigued to see how I have blossomed and have gained so much knowledge in such a relatively short amount of time, and how I seem to have found my "niche."   I have also read a lot of books and other sites, but the exchanges with people on this site are what makes the difference to me.  I have also met other CM folks in person, and so it has been fun for me to make new friends as He had hoped.  I think that the most personally gratifying things that show how I have grown are when another poster quotes me and says that they think that I got it "right."  That's just humbling and heart-warming, especially when it comes from someone I respect on here.

edited for typo

< Message edited by Daddysredhead -- 6/27/2006 5:02:30 PM >

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Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut


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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 5:07:27 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline 		I've learned more about the diversity within BDSM by reading the forums. I am part of a local group that is teaching me *their* thinking and values, which is good for me, but learning from others is helping me be well-rounded. I like that.

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RE: Evolving on CM - 6/27/2006 5:11:52 PM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline 		I have learned alot, thanks to the amazing diversity of opinions, experiences, and kinks here. Even within any single area of what it is we're doing, the various approaches and internal processes vary so much from person to person that it  helps me explore what's going on in my own head.

Also, I have learned much from the personal contact I have had with people here. The one-on-one emails with friends and...well, let's just say non-friends...have been informative, to say the least.

I've become more confident and secure, and part of that comes from awareness of what I don't know and being constantly reminded that not knowing everything about everything is totally cool. Learned some technical stuff and even shared a little bit of my knowledge with others.

Lastly but not leastly, I've had deeply moving real-life relationships with two whom I met here. Life-changing things. This place has helped me to stay "in" and...man, this is gonna sound corny...makes me feel like I am part of something. Having said that, I hasten (extremely) to add that, while collarme has surely helped me grow, I can see that the most important thing will always be the reality I am living with my girl. I learned that by being a little too caught up in this place. Caught up to the point where a part of our relationship was actually taking place here...and that is not right. Not for me, anyway. I didn't figure that out all on my own; I had some needed help with it.

That's all I can think of right now. There is probably something between the lines of all that stuff I just wrote. Something maybe someone else sees that I don't.

Bob



_____________________________

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro--Hunter S. Thompson
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!--Chief Dead St. Knockout, 1933, Liverpool
Damn the crops. I'll only find peace at the end of a rope.--Winston Van Loo, 1911

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