Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Taking the Initiative


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Taking the Initiative Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:36:37 PM   
LordDominik


Posts: 114
Joined: 5/3/2004
From: Omaha, Nebraska
Status: offline 		After chatting with several people on CM, I've come to notice that some of them have said that they have seen My profile quite a few times and had thought about messaging Me, but didn't.  My question is, if you are one who does not take the initiative and message someone when you have an interest in them, what causes you to hesitate?
 
~ LD

_____________________________

"For my system, which you disapprove of, is also my greatest comfort in life, the source of all my happiness. It means more to me than my life itself."
Marquis de Sade
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:39:04 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		It is a fear of rejection for me, pure and simple.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to LordDominik)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:40:19 PM   
LordDominik


Posts: 114
Joined: 5/3/2004
From: Omaha, Nebraska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

It is a fear of rejection for me, pure and simple.


Ok, in that case, which is better.  Having tried, and been rejected, or not having tried at all?
 
~ LD

_____________________________

"For my system, which you disapprove of, is also my greatest comfort in life, the source of all my happiness. It means more to me than my life itself."
Marquis de Sade

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:41:33 PM   
Saint


Posts: 279
Status: offline 		What causes hesitation in emailing someone? Could it be the fear of: "What if this works at first, only to tear my heart out at last like everyone else you have gotten close to?" type syndrome?

_____________________________

"Anonymity is synonymous with longevity."
Faethor Ferenczy

"I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel tonight"
Nightwish - Wish I had an Angel Tonight

(in reply to LordDominik)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:44:06 PM   
Saint


Posts: 279
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordDominik

quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

It is a fear of rejection for me, pure and simple.


Ok, in that case, which is better.  Having tried, and been rejected, or not having tried at all?
 
~ LD


After awhile, its better to not even have tried. The pain of disappointment over and over soon outwieghs the inititial hope of even trying.

_____________________________

"Anonymity is synonymous with longevity."
Faethor Ferenczy

"I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel tonight"
Nightwish - Wish I had an Angel Tonight

(in reply to LordDominik)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:45:54 PM   
LordDominik


Posts: 114
Joined: 5/3/2004
From: Omaha, Nebraska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Saint

What causes hesitation in emailing someone? Could it be the fear of: "What if this works at first, only to tear my heart out at last like everyone else you have gotten close to?" type syndrome?


If that were the case I'd have dug a hole and buried Myself so long ago it's not even funny.  I can garuntee you'll never find anyone if you don't look.
 
~ LD

_____________________________

"For my system, which you disapprove of, is also my greatest comfort in life, the source of all my happiness. It means more to me than my life itself."
Marquis de Sade

(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:46:10 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I have contacted alot of people on here, some did reject me, others wanted some conversation, some wanted more.  It is a risk you take. 

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:47:56 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordDominik

After chatting with several people on CM, I've come to notice that some of them have said that they have seen My profile quite a few times and had thought about messaging Me, but didn't.  My question is, if you are one who does not take the initiative and message someone when you have an interest in them, what causes you to hesitate?
 
~ LD


Because I tend to choose to message people who seem perfect to me but I am not perfect for them. After a while I get tired of being rejected by everyone I contact.

I haven't had the same experience with those who contact me, though some of them were obviously not good fits which they would have realized if they'd bothered to read my profile carefully. Some seem very good possibilities. At least I know they are interested in me. To me, that's the first step!

(in reply to LordDominik)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:48:21 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordDominik

After chatting with several people on CM, I've come to notice that some of them have said that they have seen My profile quite a few times and had thought about messaging Me, but didn't.  My question is, if you are one who does not take the initiative and message someone when you have an interest in them, what causes you to hesitate?
 
~ LD


Personally, I'm an old-fashioned girl in that regard.  I'm just not going to email someone who hasn't contacted me.  The few times I have, have been for reasons other than any interest I might have felt.  Ex: suggesting a correction for a spelling error, to compliment a well-written profile, to answer a question raised on the boards in a private manner, as I felt it deserved such.



_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to LordDominik)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:48:58 PM   
LordDominik


Posts: 114
Joined: 5/3/2004
From: Omaha, Nebraska
Status: offline 		I can't even begin to count the number of messages I've sent out that have just outright been deleted, or have been viewed with no reply at all.  We all take risks in an environment such as this one.  you have to ask though, is the chance of eternal happiness of finding someone you will be with forever worth losing by not sending a message?
 
~ LD

_____________________________

"For my system, which you disapprove of, is also my greatest comfort in life, the source of all my happiness. It means more to me than my life itself."
Marquis de Sade

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:50:00 PM   
Saint


Posts: 279
Status: offline
quote:



ORIGINAL: LordDominik



If that were the case I'd have dug a hole and buried Myself so long ago it's not even funny.  I can garuntee you'll never find anyone if you don't look.
 
~ LD



Better a known gurantee of something, than the constant influx of hope and then despair of even approaching and then failing over and over.

_____________________________

"Anonymity is synonymous with longevity."
Faethor Ferenczy

"I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel tonight"
Nightwish - Wish I had an Angel Tonight

(in reply to LordDominik)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:52:23 PM   
LordDominik


Posts: 114
Joined: 5/3/2004
From: Omaha, Nebraska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Saint

Better a known gurantee of something, than the constant influx of hope and then despair of even approaching and then failing over and over.


Good thing Dr. Seuss or Thomas Edison didn't hold that philosophy.
 
~ LD

_____________________________

"For my system, which you disapprove of, is also my greatest comfort in life, the source of all my happiness. It means more to me than my life itself."
Marquis de Sade

(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:52:36 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Saint, you are depressing me...lol....send out 100 messages, you are bound to get one good response.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to Saint)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:52:41 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordDominik

I can't even begin to count the number of messages I've sent out that have just outright been deleted, or have been viewed with no reply at all.  We all take risks in an environment such as this one.  you have to ask though, is the chance of eternal happiness of finding someone you will be with forever worth losing by not sending a message?
 
~ LD


I always respond to messages I recieve. I also state on my profile that I seldom initiate contact with someone. If they are interested, they can message me. I'm always willing to answer a message.

(in reply to LordDominik)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:53:49 PM   
LordDominik


Posts: 114
Joined: 5/3/2004
From: Omaha, Nebraska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

I'm always willing to answer a message.


Well, that's certainly a good thing, even if it's not a positive response.
 
~ LD

_____________________________

"For my system, which you disapprove of, is also my greatest comfort in life, the source of all my happiness. It means more to me than my life itself."
Marquis de Sade

(in reply to sublizzie)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:53:56 PM   
Saint


Posts: 279
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LordDominik

I can't even begin to count the number of messages I've sent out that have just outright been deleted, or have been viewed with no reply at all.  We all take risks in an environment such as this one.  you have to ask though, is the chance of eternal happiness of finding someone you will be with forever worth losing by not sending a message?
 
~ LD


Having your messages being viewed with no reply and/or deleted is not the issue. The issue is having those few messages actually get a reply, then things get going, and then the pain and heart ache of being rejected, however is.

_____________________________

"Anonymity is synonymous with longevity."
Faethor Ferenczy

"I wish I had an angel
For one moment of love
I wish I had your angel tonight"
Nightwish - Wish I had an Angel Tonight

(in reply to LordDominik)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:55:24 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		I don't answer a lot of my emails, for a variety of reasons.  Mostly, because I can find no good way to tell someone they're too stupid for words.  There are profiles that offend me.  I'm not going to say, your profile offends me...thanks anyway.  Some just don't interest me.  At all.  I'd rather say nothing than say, I find you uninteresting.  I don't respond to "Hi" anymore than I'd respond to, "On your knees, bitch."  One man recently wrote, telling me he thought I was pretty and that he had 300,000 flyers miles to use.  Does that even bear a response?  No, it doesn't.  Unlike some, the half-lie doesn't come easily to me.  Honestly, I'm pretty apathetic about the whole thing these days.  Blah, ho-hum...bored to tears. 

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to LordDominik)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:57:06 PM   
LordDominik


Posts: 114
Joined: 5/3/2004
From: Omaha, Nebraska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

One man recently wrote, telling me he thought I was pretty and that he had 300,000 flyers miles to use.


So, tell him to use his miles to take a flying leap then, LOL.  I agree, some of the messages are quite pathetic.
 
~ LD

_____________________________

"For my system, which you disapprove of, is also my greatest comfort in life, the source of all my happiness. It means more to me than my life itself."
Marquis de Sade

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 7:57:32 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		If someone doesnt interest me, I always send this reply....Thanks, but no thanks.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Taking the Initiative - 6/25/2006 8:00:42 PM   
LordDominik


Posts: 114
Joined: 5/3/2004
From: Omaha, Nebraska
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50

If someone doesnt interest me, I always send this reply....Thanks, but no thanks.


Quaint, simple, to the point.  Hell, CM even has generated responses you can use now.
 
~ LD

_____________________________

"For my system, which you disapprove of, is also my greatest comfort in life, the source of all my happiness. It means more to me than my life itself."
Marquis de Sade

(in reply to cuddleheart50)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Taking the Initiative Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094