Taking the Initiative

Taking the Initiative (Full Version)

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LordDominik -> Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:36:37 PM)
After chatting with several people on CM, I've come to notice that some of them have said that they have seen My profile quite a few times and had thought about messaging Me, but didn't. My question is, if you are one who does not take the initiative and message someone when you have an interest in them, what causes you to hesitate? ~ LD

cuddleheart50 -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:39:04 PM)
It is a fear of rejection for me, pure and simple.

LordDominik -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:40:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50 It is a fear of rejection for me, pure and simple. Ok, in that case, which is better. Having tried, and been rejected, or not having tried at all? ~ LD

Saint -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:41:33 PM)
What causes hesitation in emailing someone? Could it be the fear of: "What if this works at first, only to tear my heart out at last like everyone else you have gotten close to?" type syndrome?

Saint -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:44:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LordDominik quote: ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50 It is a fear of rejection for me, pure and simple. Ok, in that case, which is better. Having tried, and been rejected, or not having tried at all? ~ LD After awhile, its better to not even have tried. The pain of disappointment over and over soon outwieghs the inititial hope of even trying.

LordDominik -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:45:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Saint What causes hesitation in emailing someone? Could it be the fear of: "What if this works at first, only to tear my heart out at last like everyone else you have gotten close to?" type syndrome? If that were the case I'd have dug a hole and buried Myself so long ago it's not even funny. I can garuntee you'll never find anyone if you don't look. ~ LD

cuddleheart50 -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:46:10 PM)
I have contacted alot of people on here, some did reject me, others wanted some conversation, some wanted more. It is a risk you take.

sublizzie -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:47:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LordDominik After chatting with several people on CM, I've come to notice that some of them have said that they have seen My profile quite a few times and had thought about messaging Me, but didn't. My question is, if you are one who does not take the initiative and message someone when you have an interest in them, what causes you to hesitate? ~ LD Because I tend to choose to message people who seem perfect to me but I am not perfect for them. After a while I get tired of being rejected by everyone I contact. I haven't had the same experience with those who contact me, though some of them were obviously not good fits which they would have realized if they'd bothered to read my profile carefully. Some seem very good possibilities. At least I know they are interested in me. To me, that's the first step!

feastie -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:48:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LordDominik After chatting with several people on CM, I've come to notice that some of them have said that they have seen My profile quite a few times and had thought about messaging Me, but didn't. My question is, if you are one who does not take the initiative and message someone when you have an interest in them, what causes you to hesitate? ~ LD Personally, I'm an old-fashioned girl in that regard. I'm just not going to email someone who hasn't contacted me. The few times I have, have been for reasons other than any interest I might have felt. Ex: suggesting a correction for a spelling error, to compliment a well-written profile, to answer a question raised on the boards in a private manner, as I felt it deserved such.

LordDominik -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:48:58 PM)
I can't even begin to count the number of messages I've sent out that have just outright been deleted, or have been viewed with no reply at all. We all take risks in an environment such as this one. you have to ask though, is the chance of eternal happiness of finding someone you will be with forever worth losing by not sending a message? ~ LD

Saint -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:50:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LordDominik If that were the case I'd have dug a hole and buried Myself so long ago it's not even funny. I can garuntee you'll never find anyone if you don't look. ~ LD Better a known gurantee of something, than the constant influx of hope and then despair of even approaching and then failing over and over.

LordDominik -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:52:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Saint Better a known gurantee of something, than the constant influx of hope and then despair of even approaching and then failing over and over. Good thing Dr. Seuss or Thomas Edison didn't hold that philosophy. ~ LD

cuddleheart50 -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:52:36 PM)
Saint, you are depressing me...lol....send out 100 messages, you are bound to get one good response.

sublizzie -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:52:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LordDominik I can't even begin to count the number of messages I've sent out that have just outright been deleted, or have been viewed with no reply at all. We all take risks in an environment such as this one. you have to ask though, is the chance of eternal happiness of finding someone you will be with forever worth losing by not sending a message? ~ LD I always respond to messages I recieve. I also state on my profile that I seldom initiate contact with someone. If they are interested, they can message me. I'm always willing to answer a message.

LordDominik -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:53:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sublizzie I'm always willing to answer a message. Well, that's certainly a good thing, even if it's not a positive response. ~ LD

Saint -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:53:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LordDominik I can't even begin to count the number of messages I've sent out that have just outright been deleted, or have been viewed with no reply at all. We all take risks in an environment such as this one. you have to ask though, is the chance of eternal happiness of finding someone you will be with forever worth losing by not sending a message? ~ LD Having your messages being viewed with no reply and/or deleted is not the issue. The issue is having those few messages actually get a reply, then things get going, and then the pain and heart ache of being rejected, however is.

feastie -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:55:24 PM)
I don't answer a lot of my emails, for a variety of reasons. Mostly, because I can find no good way to tell someone they're too stupid for words. There are profiles that offend me. I'm not going to say, your profile offends me...thanks anyway. Some just don't interest me. At all. I'd rather say nothing than say, I find you uninteresting. I don't respond to "Hi" anymore than I'd respond to, "On your knees, bitch." One man recently wrote, telling me he thought I was pretty and that he had 300,000 flyers miles to use. Does that even bear a response? No, it doesn't. Unlike some, the half-lie doesn't come easily to me. Honestly, I'm pretty apathetic about the whole thing these days. Blah, ho-hum...bored to tears.

LordDominik -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:57:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: feastie One man recently wrote, telling me he thought I was pretty and that he had 300,000 flyers miles to use. So, tell him to use his miles to take a flying leap then, LOL. I agree, some of the messages are quite pathetic. ~ LD

cuddleheart50 -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 7:57:32 PM)
If someone doesnt interest me, I always send this reply....Thanks, but no thanks.

LordDominik -> RE: Taking the Initiative (6/25/2006 8:00:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50 If someone doesnt interest me, I always send this reply....Thanks, but no thanks. Quaint, simple, to the point. Hell, CM even has generated responses you can use now. ~ LD

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