RE: Simple Versus Complex Demands

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RE: Simple Versus Complex Demands - 6/26/2006 1:30:48 AM

ClassAct2006

Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
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You sound very reasonable.

It depends how into someone and how submissive I feel to them as to how much I want and would obey even remote demands. I'm not sure I could ever fully submit to someone I didn't live with but that's a separate issue. If something is hard like checking his posts every day then talk to him about it and may be he could change it to once a week but I think it's more than that - I think it's about how much you want to please him. If I feel very submissive to someone there isn't much that I let get in the way of my compliance. If I could take him or leave him then he might be item 20 at the bottom of a list which I suppose really means it's not worth continuing if someone gets that low on your list of priorities.

(in reply to Sirandlittle1)

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RE: Simple Versus Complex Demands - 6/26/2006 2:30:47 AM

swtnsparkling

Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
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IMO- there are no simple versus complex demands - small or big both are of equal importance if they are asked of me. . If my Dom asked me to do some thing even such as read the boards every day, i'd read them. i work - have a family - put in longer than usual days sometimes - Dr apts. Shopping - housework - etc Busy busy i can be, but I'd make dam sure i put aside some time to sit down and read the boards if that is what was asked of me- i wouldnt think of that as something small/simple or forget to do it.

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A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please

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RE: Simple Versus Complex Demands - 6/26/2006 3:33:46 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve

Ok, i'm not really sure how to put this, but i'll certainly make an attempt to put it just right.

i have recently been informed that in my submission, i am a big picture submissive. Meaning that i am perfectly happy making the grand gestures, giving my all on the huge things...but when it comes to the little things, like reading collar me every day... i'm not always great about it.

i've racked my brain and i actually consider myself to be a very dedicated submissive, but i have to wonder... is there something going on here? Am i perhaps not honest with myself on the kind of submissive i am? Will there always be some little thing that i let slip through the cracks?

i wonder:

Do any other submissives find that they have this same problem?

Do any other Dominants find submissives who have a tendency do to the same thing?

And why?

i'll be interested to see Y/your replies and will try my very best to take none of it personally.

-genvieve

Hello genvieve,

I also struggle at times to do certain things that are required of me and it's purely down to my nature. I let things get in the way sometimes because I am not THAT inspired to do them. The important thing is that my Master works WITH my nature and my life and not against it.

I know that if I really want to do something I'm asked to do,and I've agreed to it, then I'll do it, if I allow things to *get in the way* it's just an indictation that I simply am not inspired enough to do it.

He knows me well enough to know how to get around that. He doesn't set me up to fail and if I'm not doing something he will find out why. He KNOWS whether I'm just being lazy , or agreed to something because at the time I felt I ought to or it *seemed good on paper*.

If I'm JUST being lazy he'll JUST insist and make it VERY uncomfortable not to do it.

If I agreed because I felt I *ought to*...he'd probably STILL insist for the simple reason that it was daft to agree to do something I'm not wholeheartedly going to do.

If it *seemed good on paper* but isn't working for valid reasons, then he's creative enough to find ways of achieving the same ends.

A personal angle on the actual request........I wouldn't be thrilled to have to read his thoughts, I'd rather hear them in discussion and while doing this would be an interesting process, for a while....I know I'd soon find things *getting in the way*. He tends to do what works.

Regards, agirl

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RE: Simple Versus Complex Demands - 6/26/2006 5:54:31 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: genvieve
Ok, so the basic answer to Y/your questions is that. A very specific example is him asking me to read collar me. Why does it not happen every day? Honestly? i'm busy. i forget. my computer has troubles. i'm tired. They day slips away and then i have something else to do. Basically, that's it. And in the grand scheme of things...between these things and giving my Dominant what He needs... i would 10 times rather give Him what He needs.

But if i say it... and it still doesn't happen... then what?

i'll stop my diatribe. Thank Y/you for your responses. i'll be checking back.

-genvieve

So you've got time management problems and need to either get yourself a PDA or learn how to use to do lists more efficiently. Not a huge deal- in fact almost every person in the world has this problem to a certain extent.

If you're being as efficient as possible and STILL not able to get it all done, then you both need to sit down and go through the priority listings together- figure out where your time is going towards what and what he considers meaningful or not.

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RE: Simple Versus Complex Demands - 6/26/2006 6:25:35 AM

becca333

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Joined: 4/11/2006
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Make lists.

It always helps to have everything neatly written down, and you have the fun of crossing them off.

Just don't lose the lists.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

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RE: Simple Versus Complex Demands - 6/26/2006 7:20:46 AM

KnightofMists

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I suggest that you get yourself the book "Mind-fulness" written by Ellen J. Langer

You need to change your thoughts and focus.... this book will help.

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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Post #: 26