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RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 10:16:50 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Call the police. CPS may assist in helping mom and baby get away from him, and he needs to be processed and on record. You don't have to be the victim to call the police, particularly where children are involved.

I know of a woman who never reported her son-in-law beating her daughter in front of the children. When CPS finally got involved, she could not get custody of the kids, and instead, was processed for negligence where a child was concerned.

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 10:33:40 AM   
subseekstheone


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/30/2012
Status: offline 		She left him 3 weeks ago and working 2 jobs and going to school. He is angry about her not needing or wanting him. He has a job but is making very little money and is living out of his car. He is just stupid for not moving on.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 10:37:28 AM   
subseekstheone


Posts: 11
Joined: 10/30/2012
Status: offline 		Well normally i refer to her as my daughter in law or daughter. I love her very much and she and i are close but to give perspective on this i used the terms of relationship.

Don't judge me based on my phrasing. Words are simply that. Actions are what make the difference.

(in reply to frazzle)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 10:48:59 AM   
hlen5


Posts: 5890
Joined: 3/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subseekstheone

........Actions are what make the difference.


I couldn't agree more.

(in reply to subseekstheone)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 10:52:42 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subseekstheone

She left him 3 weeks ago and working 2 jobs and going to school. He is angry about her not needing or wanting him. He has a job but is making very little money and is living out of his car. He is just stupid for not moving on.


Uh oh. She kicked him out and is willing to work two jobs while going to school, just so she doesn't need any money from him. He's unskilled and can't afford a place. He's angry about the world, not willing to take responsibility, and is taking it out on her.

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 10:56:46 AM   
Rule


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Joined: 12/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss
the baby is young enough not to have bad memories

I doubt that.


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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 11:07:25 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: subseekstheone
Actions are what make the difference.
Yeah, you're right. So tell Me again why you didn't call the cops when you knew that your son non consensually struck the mother of your grandchild?



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RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 11:12:23 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Actions are what make the difference.


I hope you explain this to your son.

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RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 11:22:02 AM   
Duskypearls


Posts: 3561
Joined: 8/21/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss
the baby is young enough not to have bad memories

I doubt that.



We agree, Rule. I still have "body memories" of something done to me when I was less than six months old. Never underestimate cellular consciousness.

(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 12:16:24 PM   
TwoHeartsBeatOne


Posts: 479
Joined: 10/30/2012
Status: offline 		OP - It seems that you are trying to do what you can in a difficult and dangerous situation.

Lady Pact asked you the first question that came to my mind... If you call a local abuse agency, they will help you understand the situation better.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss
the baby is young enough not to have bad memories

I doubt that.



Memory from infancy and from childhood seems to vary greatly. That is not to say that unconscious memory is not present.

An example:

A man hates the color red and has no idea why. He just knows it makes him feel bad to see it.

As an infant, the "man" was being diapered on a sofa. As the caretaker reached for a wipe, the infant rolled off of the sofa, hitting his head on the coffee table (intense pain) and landed on the red carpet. As the infant fell, he saw the red and associated it with the pain. That connection, however faulty, remains.

It might be worth considering that your grandchild suffered more than you understand right now.

It might be worth bolstering yourself up with more information so you know what parts of this situation to focus on. What comes to mind immediately is that you have not expressed any concern for your son and the effect your choice to let him "get away" with it has done to his view of the world.

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(in reply to Rule)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 12:20:28 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		FR to the OP.

So, you went and grabbed the baby to make sure it was safe, then sat and listened to your son beat the shit out of your "daughter in law/daughter" and didn't call the police?

How would you like to explain and justify that to your grandchild someday?

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The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
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(in reply to TwoHeartsBeatOne)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 2:05:13 PM   
TheHeretic


Posts: 19100
Joined: 3/25/2007
From: California, USA
Status: offline 		According to the original post, there was a, "full fledged fist fight," in progress. That's a mutual combat situation. Call the cops, and they both go to jail.

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 3:19:56 PM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		my first thought is why didn't you shout at the two of them to stop the fuck what they were doing. if it was a mutual fight that still doesn't stop the fact that it was an unequal fight. if i found my son doing that i'd hit him over the head with something wondering where the hell his sence had gone to be acting like such a twat.

i've fought back, and still came off worse.

you should have called the police.

needles

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 3:31:58 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		needles, sometimes in the middle of a heated fight it's best not to interject in the fight because the person could then turn on you.


I don't care who they are, i will not get potentially beat up or attacked for someone. I'd do as they d id and take the baby home. But I would also then call the cops.

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 3:49:46 PM   
needlesandpins


Posts: 3901
Status: offline 		seriously, if that were my son and he had so little respect for me that he'd turn on me instead of stopping i'd be the first on the phone to the police and he knows it. you don't walk away and let them beat the crap out of someone in an unfair fight.

end of story

needles

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RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 3:57:10 PM   
doctorgrey


Posts: 373
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rule

There is an inner strength in you. Go to that source and be replenished. Feel your nature. It is towering tall and you are seated on the pinnacle of that strength.


toss

DrG

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landing itself was nothing
we touched upon a shelf of rock selected by the automind
and left
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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 3:59:31 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

According to the original post, there was a, "full fledged fist fight," in progress. That's a mutual combat situation. Call the cops, and they both go to jail.


Okay, then have her file a restraining order against him.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 4:17:41 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		Yet another vote for calling the cops.

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(in reply to subseekstheone)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 4:40:04 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		It's a terrible situation but I am of the opinion that calling the cops is the last thing you should do. Step in yourself and take the grandchild into your safe custody. Tell your son and the child's mother that you are NOT going to tolerate the domestic violence, esp. in the child's presence. Tell them that you will do what you must to insure that. You can keep the child safe while they get the help they need as far as their issues be it with substance abuse, violence, parenting, etc. Having them arrested and with police records is just throwing gasoline on the fire, imo. You can do your part to protect the child while allowing them both the chance to improve without jail. I just don't think that ever really improves situations like these and it definitely wouldn't be my first response to it.

luci

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Horrible Christmas Eve - 12/25/2012 5:25:53 PM   
Moonlightmaddnes


Posts: 958
Joined: 6/4/2012
Status: offline 		OH that sucks. I know if my son ever put his hands on his girlfriend he would be shown by his father what it felt like to get a beating. I hope she can stay away from him but for some reason some girls keep going back no matter how bad they are beaten.

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