Entertain me

Entertain me (Full Version)

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ScarletKissesx -> Entertain me (10/24/2012 4:26:44 PM)
I'm bored in my hotel room somebody entertain me!! Jokes and funny stories appreciated :D

Kaliko -> RE: Entertain me (10/24/2012 4:28:51 PM)
Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was a salted.

ScarletKissesx -> RE: Entertain me (10/24/2012 4:31:10 PM)
Hehe I love those cheesy jokes :P

ladynlord -> RE: Entertain me (10/24/2012 4:33:12 PM)
A baby seal walks into a club. Thats it. Short and horrible all at once.

ScarletKissesx -> RE: Entertain me (10/24/2012 4:34:45 PM)
:O omg thats so sad but i gigled haha im going to hell who's coming with me! :D

MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: Entertain me (10/24/2012 4:38:25 PM)
I'm bored too, so I'll share. Here is one of My favorite pick-me-ups: I love the line, "A big girl huh? I like 'em healthy!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wREyI510XTo

ScarletKissesx -> RE: Entertain me (10/24/2012 4:43:19 PM)
I'm on my phone and cant see it :( a giraffe and a man walk into a bar, they get hammered, giraffe passes out, man goes to walk out, bar man goes hey! You cant leave that lyin there, man turns around and says thats not a lyin thats a giraffe :P

MAINEiacMISTRESS -> RE: Entertain me (10/24/2012 5:01:59 PM)
NOOOOOOOOOOooooo! Husband just tipped a whole bag of cheese puffs onto the carpet. GRRRR!

kitkat105 -> RE: Entertain me (10/24/2012 5:07:44 PM)
You know what I find amusing now but didn't when I was younger? Anytime I said, "I'm bored!" to my parents, there reply would always be "only boring people get bored." Use to drive me nuts! Anyway. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Snopes excellent website for killing boredom. You'll be angry when your eyes go square from staring & reading the screen for 4 hours straight.

ScarletKissesx -> RE: Entertain me (10/24/2012 5:13:43 PM)
This is why I'm glad I'm on my phone so i dont stay up all night :P hmm some entertaining posts tonight, honestly im giggling to myself so badly

Muttling -> RE: Entertain me (10/24/2012 7:54:56 PM)
I currently work at a warehouse for a very big name on line vendor (one you would recognize immediately if I were allowed to say it in the context of the following.) Here's some of the reasons for employee terminations (e.g. firings) in the past few weeks...... 1) There were the 4 guys on night shift who decided to play bumper cars with the forklifts. 2) There were the 2 guys on night shift who got into a sword fight using some rather elongated sex toys that we sell on line. 3) There was the guy who stole 5 laptops in front of a clearly labeled inventory control camera. 4) There was the guy who poked out all of the lights on his forklift's control panel.......right in front of an inventory control camera. See any patterns to here?

ScarletKissesx -> RE: Entertain me (10/25/2012 5:02:23 AM)
Boys and toys mayhem will make?

Lucifyre -> RE: Entertain me (10/25/2012 6:39:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kitkat105 You know what I find amusing now but didn't when I was younger? Anytime I said, "I'm bored!" to my parents, there reply would always be "only boring people get bored." Use to drive me nuts! Anyway. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Snopes excellent website for killing boredom. You'll be angry when your eyes go square from staring & reading the screen for 4 hours straight. My favorite line to my kids when they whine about being bored is: I've never seen or heard of a case of anyone dying of boredom....try a book, that should keep your mind busy for awhile ;)

ScarletKissesx -> RE: Entertain me (10/25/2012 7:09:58 AM)
I forgot to bring one with me :( and im stuck on a train again

wnyThroatLover -> RE: Entertain me (10/25/2012 7:42:14 AM)
Two guys walk into a bar. First guy says, "I'll have a glass of H2O" Second guy says, "I'll have a glass of H2O, too" Second guy died. Aah, chemistry humor

myotherself -> RE: Entertain me (10/25/2012 11:49:41 AM)
what's got one wheel and flies? A wheelbarrow full of dog poop. ta-DAAAAAA!!!

mnottertail -> RE: Entertain me (10/25/2012 11:51:39 AM)
You will have to provide your own french accents outrageous for this.... A man strolls the Champs Elysee in Paris and accosts a beautiful woman... Monsieur: Will you go to bed with me, Mademoiselle? Mademoiselle: (aghast, taken aback) What do you take me for, Monsieur? Monsieur: But Mademoiselle, I will give you 50,000 francs for the honor of this interlude. Mademoiselle: Oh, but Monsieur; I can see I have misjudged you, you are certainly a man of genteel nature and of great refinement...(coquettishly) What will you do when we share our bed of love? Monsieur: I will lay you ever so gently in the finest linens in Paris, I will sprinkle you with fresh rose petals, I will tie you in the softest and silkiest flaxen ropes available—All the while; softly whispering passionate and wonderful words of lustiness in your pretty little ear. Mademoiselle: (fanning herself, chest heaving) And then what will you do with me, Monsieur? Monsieur: I will then bring forth my riding crop and beat you mercilessly as you scream....... Mademoiselle: (horrified) Mon Dieu! And how long will you beat me for, Monsieur? Monsieur: Until I am once again in possession of my 50,000 francs; you ignorant whore... Je pense. Donc; je suis. Responde! Viola! Un Homme! Ron

crazyml -> RE: Entertain me (10/25/2012 11:52:48 AM)
Voltaire, eat your heart out!

Hillwilliam -> RE: Entertain me (10/25/2012 12:02:32 PM)
What did Tarzan say when the elephants came charging over the hill? He said "Here come the elephants charging over the hill" What did he say when the elephants came charging over the hill wearing sunglasses? He didn't say anything. He didn't recognize them.

Hillwilliam -> RE: Entertain me (10/25/2012 12:05:38 PM)
In honor of the holiday: A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop.

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