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RE: Entertain me - 10/25/2012 12:08:24 PM

mnottertail

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Three guys are caught by a tribe of headhunters in deepest darkest africa:

A black guy.
A middle eastern guy or hispanic guy.
A very typical super white norwegian.

The headhunters walk up to the black guy and start pinching him all over, oohing and aahing---
the head man says, here is the deal, we are going to boil you alive eat and your heart. Now, you have a fine ebony skin, very delicate---and your bone structure---
Well, we could use your bones and stretch your skin over them and make a canoe fit for a king, so in honor of this, we will give you one last request....

Give me a knife, the guy says...
Knife????? confused, they go OK
He slits his own throat, saving himself the agony of boiling alive.

They go up to the middle eastern guy and it is the same routine---pinching poking--
the head man says, here is the deal, we are going to boil you alive eat and your heart. Now, you have a fine bronze skin, very delicate---and your bone structure---
Well, we could bone you and stretch your skin out and make a canoe fit for a prince, so in honor of this, we will give you one last request....

Give me a knife, the guy says...
Knife????? confused, they go OK
He slits his own throat, saving himself the agony of boiling alive.

They go up to the white guy
the head man says, here is the deal, we are going to boil you alive eat and your heart. Now, you have a good thick skin, big boned --
Well, we could bone you and stretch your skin out and make a good bang around canoe for a hunter or something, so in honor of this, we will give you one last request....

Give me a fork, the guy says...
Fork????? really confused, they go OK
Repeatedly stabbing himself in the chest he cries out, 'FUCK YOU AND YOUR GODDAMN CANOES!!!!'

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RE: Entertain me - 10/25/2012 12:37:19 PM

MadamKNY

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I did lol!

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RE: Entertain me - 10/25/2012 1:15:01 PM

absolutchocolat

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when i'm bored, i just cruise huff post for the most ridiculous article i can find and read the crazy comments below.

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RE: Entertain me - 10/25/2012 3:37:37 PM

Kaliko

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

In honor of the holiday:

A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop.

That is one of my favorite jokes ever. So few people like it.

I say it with a pause, though....

A skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer.......and a mop.

God, the picture of that...cracks me up every time.

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RE: Entertain me - 10/25/2012 3:46:33 PM

TallullahHk

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My friend's uncle, he's Italian and he's been married to the same woman for 50 years.

So I ask him, "how do you do it? What's your secret?"

He says to me, "For our 25th wedding anniversay I took her to Italy."

I say, "Oh nice! You take her to lovely places."

He says, "Yes! And for our 50th anniversay I go back and pick her up."

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RE: Entertain me - 10/26/2012 12:24:10 AM

ScarletKissesx

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These are definitly a pick me up when its early morning after no sleep waiting for my FINAL train!!

And so the lord said unto john, come forth and reciever eternal life!! He came fifth and won a toaster...

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RE: Entertain me - 10/26/2012 9:13:44 AM

ivone1

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well sorry i dont have any one liners on me ...to damn early in the am.... still need more coffee in my system...

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RE: Entertain me - 10/26/2012 7:39:15 PM

TNDommeK

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I have been laughing My ass off at these jokes..especially the canoe joke!

Here's one:
What's green and smells like pork?

Kermit's finger. EWWWWW!! lol

What's green and red and spinning?
Kermit in a blender,lol. Gross.

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RE: Entertain me - 10/26/2012 7:59:58 PM

catize

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What do you get when you cross-breed a donkey and an onion?

Most times you will get an onion with long ears......................but every once in awhile,
you will get.....................

a piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes!

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Post #: 29